How to learn not to worry and live without worries

How to stop being nervous: Depositphotos Does constant anxiety prevent you from enjoying life? Sometimes people do not distinguish between imaginary and real problems. It’s normal to worry about the health of your family before an important interview or exam, but constantly being nervous about little things is not. Psychologists Mikhail Labkovsky and Alexey Chudochkin will tell you how to cope with anxiety.

Why do we worry

The root of excessive sensitivity to what is happening lies in various reasons. Psychologists identify several main sources:

Frequent exposure to stress in childhood and adolescence.
Excessive parental care, which does not allow the development of protective mechanisms.
Genetic predisposition to reduced stress resistance.
Constant negative atmosphere at home, at work and in the company of friends.

The main reasons why we get nervous

Have you seen at least one person who was not nervous? I saw... On TV... It's called Terminator. But seriously, there are no such people. Everyone expresses their emotions through the nervous system, and sometimes there are so many of them and fatigue overcomes that it is simply unrealistic not to be nervous. But here the question arises: are our nerves justified and is it necessary to allow irritability?

When a person loses his temper over trifles, sometimes this is due to bad character. But there are also factors beyond a person’s control that provoke attacks of irritability. They are divided into physiological and psychological. Let's consider the main ones:

Insufficient blood supply to the brain due to high blood pressure or atherosclerosis.
Hormonal imbalances, for example, due to thyrotoxicosis - a disease of the thyroid gland.
The state of menopause leads to instability of mood and increased irritability. Or a hormonal imbalance during pregnancy.
Nervousness is a symptom of diseases: depression, anxiety disorder, neurosis.
The most common cause of nervousness is nervous exhaustion. And it also occurs for various reasons:

mental and mental stress;
constant lack of time;
a huge avalanche of information every day;
inflated demands on oneself in order to meet the challenges of society;
negative experiences;
features of the life of city residents, for example, untimely delivery of transport, queues at government offices, disruption of public services, etc.

But it is important to remember that nervous tension that does not receive an outlet necessarily accumulates and at a certain moment breaks out in a not very pleasant way. And such a “breakthrough” often ends in neurasthenia with nervousness and irritability, as well as the well-known strokes and heart attacks.

What does stress lead to?

Anxiety and constant stress lead to the fact that a person becomes unable to control his own life at a sufficient level. Added to this are other unpleasant consequences.

Tendency to use substances that can make you temporarily forget that you have a problem. This could be alcohol, special medications, or excessive smoking.
Loss of life goals. Fear of failure makes you abandon your plans and implement your ideas.
The development of chronic fatigue provokes the appearance of various diseases, which the body does not have the strength to fight.
The brain, overloaded with processing constant stress, loses tone and performance.

Learn humility and take a broader view of the situation

Some events cannot be changed or influenced. For example, a careless driver splashed water from a puddle or stepped on white sneakers on the bus. Even imagining this makes you nervous. It’s unpleasant, but the fact is that this cannot be changed, so there’s no need to worry.

Almost any problem seems insignificant when you look at it on the scale of life. Is a squabble in line or a driver cutting off on a turn important? Will you worry about this in a month, a year or five years? If not, then stop thinking about small things and concentrate on the main thing.

This attitude towards problems will relieve unnecessary anxiety. Psychotherapist Andrei Kurpatov advises observing your reactions and abandoning negative stereotypes in behavior.

Irritation and discomfort

When we are nervous, we begin to get lost, when we are lost, we become nervous. You need to be able to break this vicious circle. Make it a habit to breathe deeply whenever you feel irritated. This will help you calm down quickly enough to make the right decisions.

Pay attention to yoga. This activity is designed to ensure internal harmony, and this is precisely what is lacking in people exposed to stress. A few tens of minutes a day, and you are already quite capable of controlling your emotions and easily escaping discomfort. Breathing techniques, correct postures and thoughts are all aimed at enabling you to achieve absolute calm.

Switch your attention

How to quickly calm down when you're angry or nervous? You need to distract yourself by all means. Many people blame their problems on alcohol. This is only a temporary solution that can ultimately send a person to the bottom. Get down to business: clean the apartment, beat out the carpets, do the laundry. The more boring and difficult the work, the better.

A busy person has no time to think about boors, an unfair boss or gossips giggling behind their back. By shifting your attention, reduce or get rid of the feeling of anxiety. Practicing psychologist Alexey Chudochkin recommends switching to communication with other people to relieve anxiety.

Analysis and analysis of fears

To get rid of the constant worries that are so annoying every day, you need to do a lot of work on yourself. If you don’t do this, you will interfere with the lives of not only yourself, but also those around you. To live without worrying and without spending a lot of energy on stress, learn to deal with all your fears. Divide them into two lists: solvable and unsolvable.

Let's start with the problems that can be solved. If you understand that with due effort you can easily cope with them, then you should not waste your nerves worrying about this. Now let's look at another list. Ask yourself, can I change anything? And if the answer is no, then stop worrying about something that has nothing to do with you.

Super-fast ways to calm down and stop freaking out

Sometimes timely reassurance even saves a life. You say: “How?” For example, you are driving and an unusual situation occurs involving pedestrians on the road. If you don’t react in time and give in to panic, you may end up causing a collision.

Therefore, it is important to know how to calm down in a matter of minutes or even seconds, how to quickly get rid of fear and anxiety. Get ready to learn new skills:

Irritability occurs when a person is especially vulnerable. Therefore, it is important to feel support on a physical level. If you see that nervousness is “rolling over” you, find physical support: sit comfortably in transport, lean on the back of a chair, a wall, remove high-heeled shoes or classic shoes if possible, place your feet on the floor for stability.
Breathe deeply. Deep breathing helps restore physiological processes that occur during anxiety or irritation: rapid heartbeat, frequent shallow breathing, spasms in the digestive tract, etc.
Take a break. This is extremely important - if you need to make important decisions, and you are in terrible discomfort, find a good reason to leave the room. Switch your attention to a flying bird, dripping rain, other natural phenomena, people's behavior, pleasant objects. A pause will help you calm down, and then you will return to the office in a normal state.
Find support. This is not shedding responsibility for decisions made in stressful situations. Having found support for your opinion, you will understand that you are not alone in this vast Universe. In any issue that really worries you, try to talk with someone close to you - together it is easier to cope with the problem.
We respond tactfully even to rudeness. It is important to respect other people's and your own boundaries. Responding to rudeness with rudeness is the last thing that even a defensive animal can handle. If someone made a sharp attack in your direction, you should gather your emotions into a fist, talk like an adult to a child, instructing, and not throwing mud at them.

Friends, you can contact Sergei Litan, a psychologist and psychoanalyst. It will help if you want:
Get out of depression.
Bring back the joy in life.
Get your inner state in order.
Get rid of fears, phobias and panic attacks and much more.
In this article I tell you how I managed to get rid of internal fear and anxiety in just 1 month with the help of Sergei’s advice.

Childhood trauma

Don't lose sight of the conditions and circumstances of your childhood. The cause of most of your problems lies there. Increased susceptibility to stress is an echo of too low self-esteem, which was formed at an early age.

When figuring out how not to worry about anything, try to understand that every person has the right to make mistakes. No one will reproach you or punish you for doing something wrong. Let go of the experiences of childhood and live now as an adult, accomplished person.

Exercises to stop being irritable

Here I have made a selection of physical and psychological exercises. When you are nervous and nervous about any reason, both physical and psychological, as well as all combined, can help you.

We count

Counting to 10 and counting backwards is very helpful for calming down. By the way, I use it very often for my children when they are nervous. You can diversify this exercise: first count quickly, then slowly.

If you can't calm down, try counting to 20 with even numbers only, then with odd numbers only. There are many variations of the calming count. This exercise will help you switch to another activity, while the nervous system “comes to its senses” a little. Often the exercise is used before an exam or before a performance, when you need to go on stage.

Affirmations

Read more about affirmations at the link, I’ll tell you briefly here. These are positive attitudes regarding a certain situation or about life in general. For example, you are nervous after breaking up with a loved one - form the attitude that it was a good experience, and you will meet an even better person.

Or nervousness overcomes you before a date. An affirmation with a specific goal will be useful here - to show yourself “at your best.” Therefore, the best attitude phrases would be: “I am relaxed, interesting to my interlocutor,” “I have a lot of sexual energy and my partner likes me,” and stuff like that.

If you are tormented by nervousness before sex, the best affirmations would be phrases like: “I am very sensual and freely show my passion and tenderness”, “I am open and behave naturally in sex”, “I completely trust my partner, understand his love and give mine "

Mini charger

To stop worrying, you can do mini-exercises for different parts of the body. Some charging elements can be done even unnoticed by others!

Move your jaw in all directions at a fast pace - warm up and reduce tension on the facial nerves.
Quickly bend and straighten your toes - relaxing limbs that are tense during irritation or nervousness.
Lightly tap your chest for a few minutes to relax the thymus gland and reduce the level of stress hormones.
If possible, sit or lie down, take a deep breath and try to straighten all parts of your body as much as possible, hold this position while inhaling, exhale and relax. All tensions are removed, the body and nerves are relaxed.
Yawn as much as you can. It has long been known that yawning reduces feelings of restlessness and anxiety.

funny breath

When I found out about this exercise, at first I laughed and was skeptical. But after trying it in practice, I really calmed down and now I use it sometimes. Of course, so that no one sees, otherwise it will take a long time to explain what I’m doing!

So, to stop being nervous, you will need to breathe with alternating nostrils. Sit in a comfortable position, take deep breaths and exhales through your right nostril, then through your left. The duration of the exercise is 5-10 minutes, breathe, alternating nostrils. Add visualization to this - imagine that you are inhaling confidence and courage, and exhaling anxiety and excitement.

These basic exercises will help you relax your body and brain, stop getting angry and yelling at loved ones for no reason or no reason, get distracted and restore your nervous system.

Live without looking back

In order not to look for unnecessary pitfalls and not worry about anything at all, learn to live for today. Remember that our past is far behind us, those events will never touch us again. It is very important to realize the abstractness of those times and stop clinging to them.

The same advice applies to the future. The situation you imagine may never happen. You won't know until you try something. But if you constantly fear failure, failure and condemnation, you will never be able to happily exist in the present. What surrounds you every day is your life.

Don't pay attention to what isn't there

We often worry about problems that are unlikely to appear. People set themselves up for negativity. Think about the likelihood of this or that problem? If the chances are great, but you can’t influence the outcome, then you shouldn’t worry.

If you regularly return home to check whether the iron is turned off and the tap is closed, take photographs of them before leaving, as Mikhail Labkovsky advises.

Do you think you're about to lose your job? Ask your manager about this. A good employee will not be fired, and if so, then, having learned in advance about the upcoming problem, you can quickly find a new place.

Writer Dale Carnegie in his book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” recommends living today and doing today’s things.

No need to feel sorry for yourself

Quite a lot of people, at the first signs of fatigue, give up and begin to complain about their problems with all their might. This behavior results in despondency and uncertainty consuming you entirely. Self-compassion is the body's response to any effort. Under no circumstances should you allow self-pity to manifest itself in any way.

You need to firmly believe that you will cope with all the tasks and questions that arise. It is worth forcing yourself not to be distracted by momentary impulses. Believe me, as soon as you divert your attention from the irritant, it almost immediately ceases to have any effect on you.

Books

The following books will help supplement the psychologist’s advice on how to cope with anxiety and nervousness:

Sarah Devoe “Relax! 100 ways to enjoy life."
John Medina “Age has nothing to do with it. How to make your brain think quickly and remember a lot.”
Gary John Bishop “Worry Less, Live More.”
Ruby Wax “Tame Your Brain!”
Virginie Grimaldi “You will understand when you grow up.”
Dan Katz “The Lizard in Your Head.” Funny comics that will help you better understand yourself and everyone around you.”

There is also a wonderful video from Mikhail Labkovsky that will help you control your emotions:

Don't invent problems

Many people tend to inflate a simple obstacle into a whole pile of insurmountable problems. As a result, they seek advice and help even for the simplest decisions. The development of self-esteem and independence suffers from this. Such people do not know how to set goals or go towards them. Inert and passive, for them life becomes dull and dull.

There is no need to try to find additional pitfalls in any situation. Excessive thinking leads to the fact that the brain begins to give you the most negative scenario for the development of the situation. As a result, you accept it as reality and are already set up for failure.

Stress Relief Products

Proper nutrition helps our body cope with fatigue and stress faster and easier. Here are a few recommendations for increasing resistance to negative external factors:

Eat more fresh fruits and vegetables. “Live” food greatly helps the nervous system.
Include fish in your diet. The iodine it contains helps relax muscles, and phosphorus maintains hormonal levels.
Eat foods rich in magnesium, a natural antidepressant. It is found in nuts, legumes, buckwheat and millet porridge.
To compensate for glucose deficiency, which leads to nervousness, eat honey and potatoes.
Herbal and green teas will help remove toxins and harmful substances from the body and restore strength.

Attention! I strongly do not recommend relieving tension with alcohol or pills. This method will only bring you temporary relief, but in the long run it will significantly worsen the situation.

And these foods in the diet contribute to the release of joy hormones:

bananas,
black chocolate,
strawberry,
raspberries,
blueberry,
apples.

How to get out of a stressful situation

With severe stress, it seems that this state can consume you for a long time. Believe me, this is absolutely not true. There are several simple techniques to get rid of the unpleasant influence of irritants.

Turn your thoughts into a positive direction. The cause of your stress needs to be presented in a funny, even ridiculous way.
Take a break for 5 minutes. Move away from the voltage source for a short time. This will give you the opportunity to calmly breathe and pull yourself together.
Don't raise your voice. No matter how much you want to scream, when you find yourself in a stressful situation, remain calm. You can scream and let off steam later, alone with yourself.
Promise yourself a reward for endurance and patience. Waiting for a quick treat or something new will put you in a calmer and more peaceful mood.

Breathe and meditate

Sometimes there is no time to work on psychological attitudes. Moreover, you can’t just go away to rest when you’re in a stressful situation. Breathing exercises help you calm down here and now.

Saturation of blood with oxygen relieves nervous tension:

Inhale for four seconds, then hold your breath for two seconds and exhale smoothly.
Repeat this exercise five times and your anxiety will disappear.

Try meditation as a daily practice. It teaches awareness and the ability to cut off all unnecessary thoughts, including disturbing thoughts.

Meditation as a way to combat anxiety: Freepick

Day of rest

Do you have plenty of days off, but still feel tired and overwhelmed? This means you don’t know how to completely relax and let go of all problems. Give yourself a day of rest by following a few simple conditions.

Change your usual weekend routine. At work, take the whole day off during the week, send your children to relatives or hire a nanny. Changes should also affect the style of relaxation. If you are used to spending weekends at home, go out of town. On the contrary, it will be useful for avid travelers to stay at home.
Wake up not by an alarm clock, but when you want. After waking up, take a relaxing bath.
Find some nice company for your morning coffee or tea. Remember, moments like these help you deal well with stress.
Treat yourself to delicious food. You can either order it or cook it yourself.

How to stop being nervous: general tips

Calming down in time and not worrying is an important human skill. He will help you change your life for the better, since such a person will at least be respected.

But not everyone can control and manage their emotions. And here the person is not such a scoundrel, his choleric or melancholic temperament sometimes lets him down + raising “cutes” also takes its toll, when a capricious child is used to achieving everything with hysterics. What kind of adult will he grow into then?

Indeed, this skill is very important and worth training, no matter what your temperament or what kind of upbringing you suffered as a child.

There's always a way out

Understand and remember the main statement: “There are no hopeless situations!”
And you will also find a way out of this, even if not right away, even if not the best, but you will live through the situation and everything will “change.” No matter how hard it is for you, remember: everything will pass, and this too. When you take a philosophical look at life, then it will become easier to accept the blows of fate.

Fight with a song

If you need to calm down here and now, start singing (of course, so that an ambulance won’t be called later - within reason). You sing for yourself to relieve nervous tension - this is a release of accumulated emotions. You can sing in the yard of your house, in the bathroom, while working around the house, so that you enjoy it - no one is going to evaluate your vocal abilities.

Take a shower

Take a relaxing bath if possible - this will help relieve nervous spasms and tension in the body, relax, and physical improvement in well-being will lead to a change in attitude towards the situation.

Wander around on foot

Walking alone will help you quickly relieve nervous tension and organize your thoughts to solve a problem.

Drink some water

This advice helps both in the urgent need to calm down and in order to, in principle, stop being irritated and become calm.

Gradually drinking a glass of water without pills will help restore physical and psychological well-being. Water triggers the self-healing mechanism of cells and organs, and then the entire body. And by the way, drinking water doesn’t always help.

Look, I didn’t even know that washing dishes was so calming! This is a free psychotherapy session that is more effective than calming words! It turns out that any contact with water brings us calm. That's how it is!

Distract yourself by getting involved in something useful

You can stop beating yourself up in a simple and effective way. Urgently distract yourself with something, even if it’s stupid and illogical. For example, read a novel or detective story, do puzzles, play Sudoku, follow someone, or eavesdrop on someone.

When events develop rapidly, you also forget about your strong feelings about work or about your boyfriend and switch to new emotions.

Look for the positive

I write about positivity in almost every article I write. But this is really important! In smart words, searching for the positive in any situation is called “positive reframing.”

For example: “It’s good that the bus left - I can breathe the air longer”, “When would I have had so much fun - and it’s good that I didn’t fly to Turkey, but ended up at the birthday party of the best friend’s best friend’s friend!”, “How great , that you managed to save money on studying during quarantine - and you can study without having to travel anywhere!”

The initiative is in your hands

Sometimes complexes and lack of self-respect prevent you from starting to live in a new way. Therefore, we fight them - we take the initiative into our own hands. To prevent a problem, try to prevent it. For example, if something hurts you, then you don’t need to wait for bleeding - go straight away for an examination.

Take the initiative into your own hands, then neurotic reactions will not arise, because we suffer from the unknown. And initiative will help you not to suffer from it!

Get organized

When a person is nervous, it is important to organize everything - then the brain goes about its usual business and calms down. For example, make a schedule, remove non-urgent matters, try to avoid unnecessary burdens of tasks and responsibilities.

It is also important to put things in order. For me, this is generally a separate topic: keeping track of the children, what they grew up from, what clothes they have for all seasons, what shoes to wear when... But if you have excess nervousness, on the contrary, it’s time to do this, since in such a critical condition you will not accumulate everything is like Plyushkin, but free yourself from ballast. Free up as much space as possible.

Sports activities

Sports activities will help you get rid of unnecessary negative emotions. Adrenaline, a stress hormone, is released through sweat, so a person calms down. In addition, sports activities improve blood circulation, which helps the nervous system work better.

Daily routine and nutrition

The great academician Amosov has this phrase: “We are what we eat.” And this applies to all organs, even the nervous system. If we eat properly, our body receives all the necessary microelements and vitamins. And our nervous system loves them. For example, it is difficult for her to work without B vitamins, magnesium, D3, iron and other beneficial substances. Sometimes that's the only reason we get nervous.

It is very important to maintain a proper sleep schedule. If you don't get enough sleep, then what kind of calm can you expect from your nervous system? I went through this myself: I went to bed very late (after 2 am) and got up early. And what have I achieved? Everything irritated me, everyone irritated me, there was nothing to do at all, conflicts began, which were difficult to resolve - there were not enough resources in the body.

And I’m still silent about other health problems. So, my dears, it is better not to bring yourself to such a state. Go to bed before 23.00, get up around 6.00-7.00. Then you will feel great and less nervous. I won’t delve into biorhythms and hormones - this is a separate topic, just take my word for it that this is the optimal time for night sleep.

Changing the daily routine

How can you not worry about anything all day long? It’s very simple, add a few pleasant moments to your usual schedule. This will help you get distracted and get a good dose of positive emotions. They will help you cope with almost any stress.

Breakfast should be delicious. Yogurt, natural, chocolate with tea, oatmeal with honey and dried fruits - it doesn’t matter what you start your day with, the main thing is that it brings you a feeling of happiness.
Don't skip exercise, it gives you vigor and strength to withstand stress all day.
Learn to distract yourself from unpleasant situations. At such moments, think about what brings you peace.
In particularly difficult situations, look at the flowing water. Is there a river nearby? No problem, just a water tap is enough.
Write down your concerns on paper. Then just tear it up and throw it away. Imagine throwing away your problems along with the scraps.

Useful exercise equipment and courses to relieve nervousness

There is one very good web resource in RuNet called Vikium. It is 80% practice-oriented. There are materials here on a variety of self-development issues: how to set goals and achieve them, how to become smarter, how to develop memory, imagination of different types, and so on.

There are also several anxiety-reducing exercises and courses available. The simulators are free, most courses are very cheap. Below I will recommend you the best materials - be sure to check them out.

Brain Detoxification

Description. This is a relatively short curriculum that includes 10 lessons. It helps stop the “internal dialogue” - when a lot of negative thoughts are spinning in your head and you cannot switch to anything else, when you fall asleep and wake up with these thoughts.

When you complete the training completely, you will be able to easily switch your attention from negativity to positivity, improve the quality of your sleep, learn to be happy every day and see the good around you all the time.

Author: Victor Shiryaev (specializes in developmental psychology and integral philosophy).

Cost: 990 rub.

Find out more and sign up

Emotional intellect

Description. This course helps you understand all the emotions you experience and also understand what the other person is feeling, even if they want to hide it.

Many course participants initially believe that teachers only teach “recognize a lie” or something like that, but this is not so. They help in general to take control of feelings - both positive and negative, and to be able to manage them even in very difficult situations.

You will know how not to “fall into a stupor” in a conflict situation and effectively resolve it, take actions to quickly get out of nervousness and not succumb to it.

Author : Oleg Kalinichev.

Cost : 990 rub.

Find out more and sign up

Brain fitness

Description. This study material is expensive. The teaching here is very different from the two courses described above.

The Vikium company created a special device - a neural interface. It is needed in order to read and analyze electromagnetic waves that come from your brain. You receive the device by mail, then you start using it when you experience different emotional states: happiness, anxiety, melancholy, sadness, fatigue.

The neural interface will transfer data about the work of your consciousness to the interactive Wikium platform, which in response will provide practical advice and recommendations.

Along with the device, you receive seven simulators as part of the course. They will help you relieve stress, teach you to focus on the positive, not the negative. As a gift, you receive one year of premium access to all project materials.

Be sure to visit the course page and read about everything in more detail.

Author : developers of the Vikium project.

Cost : 12,990 rubles.

Find out more and sign up

These were paid training programs from the Vikium project. Below I will recommend you some absolutely free exercise machines. It is advisable to practice them daily; you can combine several workouts during one day, if time permits. There are more than 90 simulators on the site - ideally, look at them all, maybe you will find good ones not only for getting rid of anxiety.

Regarding nervousness, I recommend that you look at such developments as Joy, Fear, Anger, Disgust and a general simulator for identifying emotions.

The point is this - you must understand what is happening on your face when you experience certain feelings, and then, at the moment of these feelings, try to force yourself to change your facial expression. For example, smile. This will send “I’m fine” signals to your brain and help you not dwell on stress. Give it a try.

And a couple more recommendations. Sometimes nervousness and depression are caused by the fact that a person does not have a goal in life or considers himself insufficiently developed in some area. To fix this, Vikium alone may not be enough, but I still recommend these courses to you:

Goal setting - how to understand what you really want in life, how to set a goal and go towards it, and correctly build a plan to achieve it.
Effective communication - how to communicate with people correctly, so as not to let them humiliate you, put them in their place, and easily get out of conflict situations.
Thinking - how to develop thinking in different areas, learn to better realize yourself in your workplace, manage everything, cope with complex tasks.
Polyglot - foreign languages are now needed in almost every field. The “Polyglot” course will teach you how to develop the correct methodology for mastering any language in a very short time.

I advise you to bookmark Wikium and visit it periodically. Promotions and discount campaigns are regularly held here, and more and more exercise equipment and courses are being added.

Living stress-free is easy

We can't help but worry about the people who are close enough to us. But we can learn not to lead these worries to full-blown stress and nervous breakdowns. Living without the destructive influence of negativity is very simple, you just need to follow a few pleasant rules for this.

Take daily walks in the fresh air, this will give you the opportunity to relax, the main thing is to let only pleasant thoughts come to you.
Try any sport. This will strengthen your body and increase self-esteem.
Be sure to give yourself a good rest. Even if the schedule is too busy, there should be room for respite.

What you need to get rid of in life so as not to be nervous

There is a burden in our lives that we pull from day to day, from year to year. And we don’t understand what prevents us from living happily? This burden can also lead to excessive irritability. We lose peace and are constantly nervous for no reason. What kind of cargo is this?

Guilt. Worries about any reason drain our nervous system. Try to forgive yourself minor mistakes, learn to accept yourself with your strengths and weaknesses.
Fears. Constant anxiety about dismissal, betrayal, illnesses of children, the apocalypse, or a global crisis leads, at best, to nervousness, and at worst, to illness. Try to enjoy life here and now and not think in a negative way.
Ought. Remember: NO ONE OWES ANYTHING TO ANYONE. You cannot adjust all people to yourself and your rules. Allow your loved ones to make mistakes, then they won’t annoy you so much.

Specialist help

If you understand that conventional methods do not help you, and you cannot help but worry about problems more than necessary, trust a psychologist. In this way, you will not only learn to control your emotions, but also part with a number of serious problems from the past that can ruin the future.

It is also worth checking the health of the endocrine system and the thyroid gland in general. A hormonal imbalance negatively affects the body's resistance to stress.

In addition, it is easy to check the level of protection of the body through DNA research. It will show how the main “conductors” of our emotional state - serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine - work, and you will find out how susceptible your body is to stress and vulnerable to external stimuli, and most importantly, you will understand what to do about it.

What is the ability to relax

Often people forget how important it is to give yourself rest. The ability to relax physically and emotionally is a useful function of the body, which can be forgotten over time. Especially if you have been under constant stress and conflict for a long time.

Internal problems cannot find a way out if you do not know how to relieve tension without resorting to the help of a psychologist. Nevertheless, there are such ways, and there are many of them. It’s enough to find a suitable option for yourself and remember to use it from time to time.

The ability to abstract yourself from unpleasant surroundings and thoughts is the ability to relax. You can do this almost anywhere where you can retire for a few minutes. Failures, problems and other negativity will gradually recede from you.

Relaxation tips

To begin with, here are a few more examples of effective relaxation exercises related to breathing and muscle function.

Simple exercises for relaxation

As we have already said, when the human body is in a stressful and tense state, its pulse and breathing increase. This mechanism is necessary for intensive saturation of cells with oxygen, but this does not always have a positive effect on the physical and mental state. It will be much better if you learn to breathe deeply and calmly. And here are some exercises for this:

Slowly inhale air through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Inhalation should be done in four counts, and exhalation in two counts. You need to do 10 repetitions.
Do the previous exercise, but concentrate not only on the count, but also try to relax the muscles of the chest and shoulder girdle. Due to the fact that the diaphragm is used in breathing, it will become deeper. For one approach, 10 repetitions are enough.
Lie down on a bed or sofa and place one hand on your stomach. Inhale air so that your hand is pushed up through your stomach. Keep in mind that you need to breathe through your mouth. Do 10 reps.

When it comes to muscle relaxation specifically, learning to do it on your own will help you rest and recover quickly. A few exercises on this topic:

Lie on your back on a bed or sofa with your legs straight. Slowly raise your arms up, and then spread them to the sides and lower them. Try to relax as much as possible for 15-20 seconds. Breathe as deeply as possible. The exercise must be repeated 5 times.
Take the same body position. Lying on your back, slowly pull your knees bent to your chest one by one. Then stretch them out and try to relax as much as possible for 15-20 seconds. The exercise must be repeated 5 times.
Lie on your stomach. Extend your arms along your body. Slowly raise your shoulders and head and stretch forward a little. Then return to your original body position and try to relax as much as possible for 15-20 seconds. Repeat the exercise 5 times.
Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart. Clench your fists and raise your arms up. Tighten your entire body, and then suddenly relax, allowing your arms to fall down. Stay in a relaxed state for 15-20 seconds. Repeat the exercise 5 times.

Now let’s move a little away from techniques and exercises, and let’s talk a little about proper nutrition, or rather about foods, the use of which helps relieve tension.

Stress Relief Products

Nutrition is one of the main components of human life, because together with food, all the necessary vitamins, nutrients and microelements enter the body. And if a person eats right (by the way, we have good material on the topic of proper nutrition), then it is much easier for his body to cope with tension and stress, and it is much easier for the person himself to relax and rest faster. To increase your body's resistance to negative external influences, try to follow these simple nutrition tips:

Make sure you have fresh fruits and vegetables in your diet. This is “live” food that has a beneficial effect on the nervous system and the body as a whole.
Include fish in your diet. It contains iodine and phosphorus. The first promotes muscle relaxation, and the second helps maintain normal hormonal levels.
Eat more millet and buckwheat porridge, nuts and legumes. All of these products contain magnesium, a natural antidepressant.
Eat apricots, rye bread, dairy and offal. They contain large quantities of B vitamins, which increase resistance to stress and stabilize the activity of the central nervous system.
Don't forget to eat potatoes, sweet fruits and honey. They are a source of glucose, the deficiency of which causes nervousness and tension.
Drink green and herbal teas. They are rich in antioxidants that remove harmful substances and toxins from the body. The cleaner the body, the easier it is to endure stress and restore strength.

Also, take note of this small list of products that help calm your nerves, relieve tension and increase your body’s resistance to stress:

strawberries, raspberries and blueberries (contain natural antioxidants and vitamin C);
cereals and grains (help the body produce serotonin);
Brazil nuts (contain selenium, which has sedative properties);
spinach (contains vitamin K, which synthesizes hormones that are responsible for stress resistance and good mood);
apples (rich in vitamin C, iron and fiber);
dark chocolate (contains anandamine, which causes a feeling of calm and relaxation);
bananas (contain vitamin B, potassium and magnesium).

And in addition to all of the above, here are a few more life tips that will help you strengthen your nerves and help you cope better with stress.

How to calm down easily

These simple steps should be performed any time you feel nervous, physically or emotionally tired, exhausted, or under stress:

Change your activity . If, for example, you sat at the computer for a long time or wrote a report, do some physical activity: walk, go to the store, do a warm-up, etc. This will help you take your mind off the monotonous and routine work.
Go out into the fresh air and breathe a little . Your blood will become more oxygenated, which in turn will make you calmer.
Drink some water . Remember that even mild dehydration can cause irritability, confusion, and mood swings.
Listen to calm music . It has a wonderful effect on the psyche: it calms the nerves, promotes inner harmony and relaxation.
Light the aroma lamp . Essential oils of jasmine, chamomile or bergamot mixed with water and heated with a candle will easily calm the nerves and restore vitality.
Look at the nice images . If you look at a photo or video of space, mountains or the ocean for at least 5 minutes, you can quickly relax and calm your racing thoughts.
Get out into nature . The beauty of Mother Earth and fresh air are one of the best means for relaxation, relieving stress and putting your inner world in order.
Go to the bath, shower, pool or sauna . Water relieves fatigue better than other remedies and takes away negative energy. It is especially useful to swim in a river or sea, i.e. where the water is not stagnant, but constantly renewed.
Go for a massage . A specialist will help your muscles relax and your body to produce serotonin, which in itself will weaken the effect of emotional stress. By the way, you can ask someone at home to give you a massage, or you can do it yourself - massage those areas of the body where your hands can reach.
Get creative . By creating something with your own hands, you create the perfect environment to reduce anxiety and stress. You can just as easily go to the cinema or theater, visit a museum or art gallery.
Start meditating daily for at least half an hour a day . This activity is great for calming thoughts and achieving inner harmony, with long-term effects. We have a guide to meditation and relaxation on our website.
Limit your consumption of coffee and alcohol, as well as smoking cigarettes . All this not only dehydrates the body, but also increases fatigue and susceptibility to stress (and this is not counting the well-known facts about the dangers of coffee, alcohol and nicotine).

We also advise you to always consider any events that occur objectively, i.e. not only from my point of view, but in general. All problems can be resolved. What seems difficult or unfair now may well lead to better consequences in the future. Therefore, you need to look at everything from different sides, and also not take anything to heart.

As you can see, learning to relax and rest quickly is not that difficult. Remember that there are two fundamental factors here - your desire and knowledge of certain techniques. If you decide to read this article, then you already have the desire, and if you have finished reading it, then the techniques are now at your disposal.

And in conclusion, we bring to your attention another video on the topic of relaxation. Save it to your playlist or browser bookmarks and watch and listen (preferably with headphones) when you want to relax and calm your inner world.

We wish you a good mood and a positive attitude every day!

We also recommend reading:

Storytelling
Breathing and thinking: a way to calm down in a stressful situation
Methods of mental self-regulation
10 Popular Exercises to Relieve Stress
How to learn to meditate: in accessible language about the most important things
How to manage anger?
Muscle relaxation: relaxation techniques
A short guide to developing concentration
To breathe or not to breathe?
Ways to fall asleep faster
Rebirthing: being reborn through breathing

Key words:_D1036, 1Psychoregulation, 4Psychoregulation

Why do people react differently to the same stressful situation?

In order to answer this question, I propose to introduce another model, according to which a person’s life is a journey, and the person himself is a traveler.

This traveler is each of us. We go through life, choosing a goal and moving towards it. The goal may be hundreds or thousands of kilometers away, but we are still trying to go our way, overcoming all obstacles, and get what we want.

Tell me, how exactly does a human traveler know that somewhere there is something that he can achieve?

Suppose a person wants to go to Brazil for a carnival, but at the same time he lives in a town forgotten by everyone. None of his friends had ever been to Brazil. He himself had never been there either. How does he know about the existence of Brazil? The answer is quite simple: he watched the carnival on TV, read a book about this country or saw it on the map.

So, society tells us about possible goals, we receive certain knowledge about the world from society. From parents, school teachers, friends, directors, writers, bloggers and so on. And this knowledge about the world, within the framework of the model we are talking about, will be called the word map.

That is, a person is a traveler exploring the real world. But in his head he has a map where this world is depicted. A map is an idea of the world in which each of us moves and lives, or, if you like, a worldview (view of the world) given to us by the society that surrounds us.

Not all of the information on the map was created by us ourselves. Most of it has not been personally verified by us. But often we believe in it as an inviolable dogma, because we are used to thinking so. Because in childhood we were told something by people whom we trusted 100 percent - our emotional authorities (moms and dads and other loved ones).

So, on maps we mark our goals and plot routes. And we travel (live) in the real world. And now, attention, we are exploring the question: what is so different on the cards that people, finding themselves in the same life situation, react to it differently?

Why constantly thinking about a problem is bad

Obsession makes us endlessly search for a solution, but surprisingly does not motivate us to take action. Constantly thinking about the problem only further confuses thoughts and slows down development.

Beating yourself up is a path that can lead to insomnia, problems concentrating and loss of energy. Poor health creates a new cycle of thinking - and now you are already in a vicious circle from which you cannot escape. In particularly serious cases, this process can result in chronic anxiety and depression.

In order to prevent a sad outcome of events, you need to fight the waves of obsession in a timely manner. But first, let's look at common methods that should not be used.