How to stop being nervous over trifles: 7 simple habits
Never expect trouble and don’t worry about something that may never happen.
Stay close to the sunshine. Benjamin Franklin
If I don't train enough, of course I get nervous.
Haile Gebrselassie
It all starts with a little internal trembling. Then the tension increases. An arm or leg begins to fidget. Your palms become clammy and you begin to feel out of place. The inner peace you felt seemed to fly out the window. The nervousness returned like an old friend you didn't want to see.
So what can you do at this stage? Step back, make up a bad excuse, and cross it out.
But an even better approach, in my experience, is to find strategies and develop habits that will help you cope with the problem.
Here are 7 of my favorite habits for combating and overcoming nervousness.
No. 1. Feel the support
What most people call “nervous” is called anxiety among professionals. It is characterized by anxiety of varying severity, ranging from simple excitement to panic attacks, physical signs - rapid breathing, hand tremors, various tics, dizziness, abdominal discomfort. We perceive this state as our own vulnerability, so various defense mechanisms are activated in the body. We are ready to respond rudely, shout, leave, loudly slam the door, etc. Everything irritates us very much.
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At such moments, it is important to physically feel support. What does this mean: for example, you are traveling in public transport - sit comfortably (if possible), lean on the back of the seat or on the wall, etc. When you are at home (in the office), you can take off your heels and just put your feet on the floor to feel stable. Breathing should be deeper and slower. All this will help you calm down a little.
Online courses
I also offer you effective courses that contain simple techniques for controlling your emotions in difficult situations and will help you learn to control tense situations.
Video course How to get rid of fear once and for all - these are effective lessons that highlight the causes of fear and techniques for defeating it. Cost – 990 rub. The course will help:
- find out what awaits you when you get rid of anxiety;
- get to know the mistakes that cause anxiety;
- recognize the difference between a natural reaction to danger and disturbing anxiety;
- Find out how to get rid of anxiety forever.
The author of the course is Denis Shvetsov, an expert on human psychology and emotional state.
“Anti-Fear” First Aid Kit – here you will find information about simple techniques for getting rid of fear, which can be applied at any time. Cost – 292 rubles.
The course helps you learn:
- how to cope with anxiety;
- how to get rid of phobias;
- methods of dealing with anxiety;
- proper breathing techniques for recovery.
The author of the course is Alexander Zhurakovsky, a specialist in working with complex emotional states.
Master class 15 ways to get rid of fears - here you are given effective methods of dealing with fears.
You will learn:
- effective techniques for dealing with anxiety;
- ways to restore peace and tranquility;
- methods of getting rid of the fear of the unknown;
- reasons for fears.
The author of the master class is Alexander Zhurakovsky.
Cost – 949 rubles. There are discounts.
The Brain Detoxification course from Vikium is 10 lessons for a complete “brain rewiring”.
The course will help:
- clear the mind;
- learn to concentrate on what is important;
- reduce tension levels;
- sleep and rest better;
- get rid of toxic thoughts.
The author of the course is Viktor Shiryaev, an expert in developmental psychology and integral philosophy.
Cost – 1,490 rubles.
The video course How to quickly cope with fear and anxiety provides simple and effective techniques for the complete restoration of the nervous system.
Cost – 800 rub.
You will learn how to:
- eliminate anxiety as soon as it appears;
- eliminate life traumas;
- think positively.
The author of the course is Sergey Davidenko, a specialist in getting rid of anxiety and fear.
No. 2. Taking a break
If the environment in the room itself causes discomfort, find any appropriate reason to leave. For example, say that you need to make an important call. You need to go out, breathe some air, drink water, think about how to answer some questions and solve the problems facing you. You can try to switch your attention to various pleasant objects, i.e. what gives you pleasure evokes positive emotions. Imagine a loved one, a vacation, the sea, etc.
A pause is needed to calm down. If you're in the same room with a yelling boss all the time, you don't have the opportunity to ask him to shut up. But you can take a break, come to your senses and return to the office in a normal state. Alas, we almost never can remove the factors that cause stress in real life, but we can make sure that the situation does not get out of control.
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FAQ
– How to stop being nervous during pregnancy?
– Most often, nervousness during pregnancy and after childbirth in young mothers is associated with a hormone imbalance or excess progesterone (tearfulness). In this case, it is better to consult a gynecologist who will prescribe medications that reduce irritability.
– How to remain calm in a relationship?
– First, figure out what exactly irritates you. These are the habits of the person with whom you want to maintain a relationship, his appearance or behavior. When you decide on this question, you can build a dialogue approximately on the topic “Don’t throw your socks here, they spoil the look of the room and emit an unpleasant smell.” Remember that constructive dialogue helps to establish and improve relationships.
– How not to be nervous at school?
– Teenagers often find it difficult to study due to “excessive nerves.” This is due not only to the restructuring of the body, but also to objective reasons. To remove these reasons, there are several recommendations:
- open up to adults you trust, don’t keep your experiences to yourself;
- learn to concentrate on what is important without being scattered on many things;
- allow yourself to make mistakes - every person has the right to make mistakes, no one is ideal;
- don’t chase grades – knowledge is more important;
- tune in to the positive - in the end, even if you are eaten, you have 2 options;
- solve problems as they arise, stop beating yourself up;
- be sure to rest!
– How to learn not to be nervous in stressful situations?
– Stress can throw us out of our usual rut, but it’s up to us how we react to it. It is important to learn to think positively, to look for at least a drop of good even in the worst situation. Then it will be easier to cope with any stress.
– How not to be nervous in online games?
– Purely my personal opinion – don’t play! And if on topic, then prepare yourself that this is just a game. Even if it’s important, even if it’s rated, even if you’re handsome and without well-deserved points you stop respecting yourself - learn to live a real life, learn to respect yourself for who you are, and not for your merits in games.
No. 3. Enlisting support
We get nervous when there is no order in our lives, when we don’t know what awaits us in the future. Think about where you are most unclear and make plans, get support, talk to someone close to you. It is important to come to the conclusion that everything is not so scary, you are together and can cope with any situation. Every person simply needs a way to support themselves during difficult times.
Very often people are worried when there is a crisis in the country, because again they do not know what will happen next, and in this situation it is important to find a thought on which you will rely. Its main message is that you are insured and protected. Of course, reality does not give us 100% guarantees, but it is very difficult to live without them.
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Books
The following books will help supplement the psychologist’s advice on how to cope with anxiety and nervousness:
- Sarah Devoe “Relax! 100 ways to enjoy life."
- John Medina “Age has nothing to do with it. How to make your brain think quickly and remember a lot.”
- Gary John Bishop “Worry Less, Live More.”
- Ruby Wax “Tame Your Brain!”
- Virginie Grimaldi “You will understand when you grow up.”
- Dan Katz “The Lizard in Your Head.” Funny comics that will help you better understand yourself and everyone around you.”
There is also a wonderful video from Mikhail Labkovsky that will help you control your emotions:
No. 6. Putting things in order
It is more difficult for a person to concentrate when he has several objects in his hands. The same thing happens when there are mountains of incomprehensible garbage, papers and some other things on your desktop. This confirms the chaos in your life and increases your anxiety. Put things in order. It is better if you are surrounded by as much free space as possible.
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Causes of nervousness
Scientific and technological progress and increasing flows of new information keep us in constant tension. Even teenagers are faced with a huge amount of information to process. It's not always easy to deal with this. The deterioration of the environmental situation negatively affects the functioning of the brain and affects the psyche. The noise that accompanies life leads to increased fatigue, insomnia, and nervous disorders.
The main cause of nervous tension is personal emotions; they make people worry the most. Occurs when:
- self-doubt;
- inability to achieve set goals.
What makes you nervous is the fear of the future, which could leave you without a job and bring illness. Knowledge of human psychology will help eliminate the causes of nervousness.
No. 9. We do not respond to rudeness with rudeness.
It is necessary to express feelings, but this does not mean that you have to go and hit someone in the face, be rude and swear. It is important to respect your own and other people’s boundaries, not to forget about self-esteem and remember that responding to rudeness with rudeness is the last thing. By doing so, you are supporting the war rather than helping your anxiety go away. If you are deliberately pushed on the subway, of course, you should stand up for yourself, but you need to talk, as an adult does with a child. This comparison is based on the fact that in “adult-child” contact the adult controls the situation (we again return to point 4). Granny was rude to you, tell her: “You are a woman, why are you behaving this way, let’s respect each other.” This point has nothing to do with complete resignation to the situation. It only speaks of your conscious, adult position. You have to set the tone of the situation, and someone who is nervous cannot do this by definition.
Specialist help
Often you need a push to change your life and get out of the rut. And this impetus can be a visit to a specialist. Problems of irritability at the physiological level are considered by neurologists and psychiatrists. Feel free to contact them with your questions. After all, timely prescribed “Novo-Passit” or “Glitsed” will significantly facilitate your perception of the problem situation.
If it comes to the soul and relationships, then it is better to consult a psychologist or psychotherapist. These specialists will help you identify the causes of your irritability, work through them and give recommendations on how to reduce nervousness due to your husband’s behavior, calm you down before the wedding, or teach you how not to worry when communicating with strangers.
Expert help
Sergey Litan
Psychologist, psychoanalyst, researcher
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Hello, my name is Sergey. I am an expert in the field of psychology and psychoanalysis. I work by passion and love my job. I specialize in depression and anxiety. Over 20 years of practice, I have helped hundreds of people get their results: get out of depression, regain joy in life, put their inner state in order, get rid of fears, phobias and panic attacks. Years of research have allowed me to find the most effective “tools” for solving almost any situation and life scenario.
Tell me about your problem and I will help you.
A few additional tips
Each person must choose the activities that will help him relax and stop being nervous.
You might find these tips useful:
- Look at the clouds floating in the sky.
- Wash your face with cold water.
- In rainy weather, look at the rain, listen to the uniform patter of drops.
- Ask a loved one to read a book out loud to you until you fall asleep.
- Take paints or pencils and draw whatever comes to your mind. Don't worry about the details and the end result.
