How to get a guy? Basic psychological techniques

• Be, not seem to be…
• What do guys like in girls?

How to woo a guy unobtrusively and as naturally as possible? In addition to attracting with your appearance and personal qualities, basic psychological techniques will help you achieve your goal to interest and make a man fall in love with you . Directed both towards the desired object and towards oneself, the beloved.

6:00. Three questions

It's time to start a conversation. Harvard University is here to help. Forget the clichés like “What do you do now?”, “How was your day?” or the notorious “About the Weather”. Using a mathematical algorithm, Harvard experts calculated four sure-fire questions that will determine your compatibility: “Do you like horror movies?”, “Have you ever traveled alone?”, “Wouldn’t it be great to leave everything and live on a ship?”, “Which one?” ingredient you would add to pizza?” If your partner answers the questions the way you do, science gives the green light to your relationship.

Neurolinguistic programming techniques

To “catch” a man’s attention for a long time, you can try to use basic psychological techniques taken from neurolinguistic programming techniques (techniques for anchoring a man in psychology). Neurolinguistic programming is a set of techniques that influence the subconscious. Some people own the simplest of them unconsciously - the so-called. born manipulators. There are even techniques for managing a crowd or public opinion using NLP tools; they are difficult to learn and apply. Although some psychologists consider NLP a myth.

Sympathy arises between people who are similar in some way . In psychology, this feeling of trust is called “rapport.” You can achieve it:

• Definition of “points of contact”. The same interests, hobbies, place of study, and birth immediately bring us closer together. Find them or create them. Unobtrusively draw the attention of the guy you want to achieve to this. By mirroring. When there are no common themes immediately found, you can simply implicitly copy gestures, posture, and breathing rate. In a conversation, when answering, repeat part of the question with the same intonation. But do not go too far, so that the man does not think that he is being teased.
• By joining. Use the same vocabulary, pronunciation, accept opinions on some questions, listen carefully, agree and nod.
• In order to please a guy, they most often behave unnaturally , showing the “best version of themselves”, exaggerating their merits. Men mistake this as a challenge or an indication of their inadequacy. Before telling the story of your life, you should first create a comfortable environment for the interlocutor so that he opens up and speaks out. The ability to listen is sometimes more valuable than the ability to show off erudition and subtle spiritual world.
• You can't tell everything about yourself at once. Let the man speculate and embellish the image to his taste.
• When talking, be sure to monitor the reaction of your interlocutor. This will give you the opportunity to stop in time if the conversation goes in the wrong direction.

Only by observing a person for a certain time can you learn to “read” him. Breathing and eyes are especially informative.

Don’t tell a man everything about yourself at once, let him speculate and embellish your image

• When rapport has been created, and it is clear from the interlocutor that he feels comfortable, in a spiritual moment you need to “put an anchor” . You can not evoke the peak of emotions yourself, but take it from the man’s memory, asking him to talk about joyful moments in life. To do this, you need to enter your personal space until you feel uplifted. And then just touch the back of your head, forearm, elbow... To a place that is not quite ordinary, but easily accessible. You can repeat the “anchoring” another time. This technique means that the guy will subconsciously remember that your presence is pleasant, and you can remind him of this associative feeling with a touch at any time.
• Using emotion to influence subconscious desires . To the point of anger. But this must be a well-calibrated operation: to make a person angry and stop in time in order to calm him down and gain the upper hand over him. Many people, after an outburst of anger, are subject to influence and suggestion due to the desire to make amends. Those who are gentle by nature also react to other people’s rage directed in their direction.
• Try to emotionally charge a man . So that he always feels high spirits only with you.
• If a young man has some kind of failure, console him . Leading to the idea that no one understands him except you. This way you can become indispensable in his life.
• A technique of repeating the same ideas in different words . And, perhaps, it will be possible to convince him that the only love of his life is nearby.

Techniques for anchoring men and women are essentially manipulation

9:00. Work interview

The most common mistake on a first date is when communication turns into a tennis tournament or a job interview in a question-and-answer format. Feel the waters: what topics does your interlocutor willingly support, and what topics is unpleasant for him to talk about? Well-known taboos include topics of material well-being and former relationships. Do not ask closed questions, that is, those whose answer implies “yes” or “no.” Choose lines that will help your partner open up. And answer any question yourself as if you were talking about something very pleasant. And then your interlocutor will probably want to call you back.

Be, not seem to be…

How to get the attention and love of the guy you like? Through appearance, because men love with their eyes (unlike women who love with their ears). The appearance does not have to be magazine-style. Men like spectacular women, but this does not mean that they should look provocative, and sexuality should not be confused with vulgarity. Moreover, getting sex with a guy is not the same as making him fall in love with you.

According to psychological research, men of the stronger sex extremely dislike ladies who show obsessive initiative . Therefore, when wondering how to get a man’s attention, remember that first they awaken his interest, and then the hunter. So that it would seem that the initiative for rapprochement came from him.

In order to woo a man, you need to arouse his interest.

What do guys like in girls?

What should I become in order to achieve not only attention, but also love? How to interest a guy? Of course, there is no limit to perfection, but here is what we should strive for :

• A healthy, well-groomed, neat girl, dressed with taste, is pleasing to the eye . And this means wearing clothes that highlight your strengths and modestly hide your flaws. There should be makeup, but not the war paint of a native woman who has been waiting for love. And, preferably, it should not be obvious how much time, effort and money was spent on creating the image. In appearance we strive for harmony and naturalness. The development of aesthetic taste is important, it speaks of intelligence.
• By the way, an intelligent, well-read girl with a broad outlook has a much greater chance of achieving the guy of her dreams, since the sexiest organ - the brain - can attract a man. An intelligent woman will be able to choose from dozens of psychological techniques that are important and suitable specifically for her case. He will support the conversation on various topics and will charm you with his wit. Silly girls are preferred by men who are insecure or cynical and want to exploit this stupidity. Although no one forbids using a guy’s desire to feel smarter.
• positivity, a sense of humor , femininity, and natural behavior. Psychologists from the largest dating club in America, after conducting a survey of clients, found that 40% of men will not continue relationships with those who behave rudely and boorishly with the staff of cafes or restaurants. So guys expect gentleness and kindness from girls.
• When a woman is confident in herself , then her voice sounds seductive, her eyes sparkle mesmerizingly, and her gait becomes exciting. Such self-confidence does not depend on external data and intelligence. To cultivate self-confidence, psychologists recommend the following techniques:

1. Look at your reflection with “loving eyes.” Find the 10 best qualities and remember them more often. Love yourself not only for them.
2. Name and accept your negative qualities. Don’t engage in self-criticism, but think about how they can be replaced with positive ones. Be calm and constructive about failures—draw conclusions and learn.
3. Don't compare yourself to others.
4. Communicate with positive people who accept you as you are.
5. Live and act according to your desires, and not be led by other people’s criticism and fears.
6. Help others. This will also allow you to value yourself.
7. Smile often, do not be afraid to look directly and kindly into the eyes.
8. Rehearse your posture, gait and perfect your gestures in front of the mirror.
9. Maintain confidence and clarity of speech.

Men love smart and well-read women.
That is, you need to recognize yourself “in all your glory,” not experience any negative emotions towards your person and show it all with your appearance. With adequate self-esteem, it will be easier to make a guy fall in love with you .

A friendly, open, easy-to-communicate, well-groomed, healthy girl with no bad habits will definitely attract attention. But it is important to be, and not to appear. After all, the first impression is by no means the key to a long-term relationship.

Overly inflated self-esteem can lead to painful reactions, aggression and obsession if you fail to achieve your goal

What first steps will a man appreciate?

A man must evaluate his first steps positively, so for a girl this will be a very important task. A man will like it if you yourself are interested in his hobbies and ask clarifying questions, even if you have absolutely no understanding of this topic. Ask about how he liked yesterday's football match, how he managed to fix his car so quickly, how he knows history so well - ask about any of his hobbies. He will also appreciate it if you always thank him for the help he provides, and not consider it a man’s responsibility. Men generally really appreciate it when a woman thanks them, this encourages them to continue to offer their help, even in small things.

A man will certainly appreciate your concern - even if you unobtrusively straighten his scarf with the words that it is quite cold today, the man will already regard this as concern and will definitely react positively to it. Therefore, you should not be embarrassed to take care of him, the main thing is not to go too far and not turn into a second mother for him.

Another point that a man should definitely appreciate is that you always try to look beautiful especially for his sake. Therefore, when he compliments your appearance, you need to casually say that you chose this dress with the thought of whether he would like it. Such phrases are a kind of compliment to a man.

How to get a guy who has a girlfriend?

If you like a guy who already has a girlfriend, you need to think carefully about why you want him. If a guy leaves his current girlfriend for you, how confident will you be in him that he won’t do the same thing to you when you are in a quarrel and another beauty appears on his way? Guys usually behave the same way in typical situations. If he left for you, he will soon leave for someone else.

What motivates you when you want to woo a guy who already has a girlfriend? If you are driven by excitement, interest, mercantile desires, then understand that, having achieved your goal, you will lose interest in the guy. You will only be wasting your time.

If you lead the guy away, then you will have to constantly take the lead role. When the relationship begins between you, you will have to constantly keep the guy next to you.

But if you keep wanting to woo a guy who has a girlfriend, then you just have to wait until his relationship with his girlfriend starts to break down. Quarrels and scandals are present in any relationship - this is where you must appear on a guy’s horizon in order to attract him, show him an interesting side, make friends and bind him to you.

Talk about what interests a man5

It is unlikely that the problem of waxing the bikini area will be able to attract a male interlocutor. Also, he won’t be interested in how many times your cat has done mischief this week, or what incredible sale was taking place in the cosmetics department. You can always discuss this with a friend. How to get a guy’s attention without being silent? Of course not.

If you know anything about computers, cars or plumbing, you can always carry on a conversation with a man. But you don’t need to express your opinion on these points if you don’t understand them at all, it will be stupid. You can always maintain a conversation on a topic that is interesting to your interlocutor, even if you are a complete novice in it. The guy is a programmer?

Great, ask how to set up or install some program. A man who repairs cars? Complain that something in your/your father's car is making noise when you change gears. Let the guy, with pleasure, and most importantly, with the air of an expert, begin to talk about possible problems. This is exactly how good girls behave.

Bitch Techniques

This is not about character. This applies to clothing. What distinguishes a bitch from a simple girl? Appearance. Bitches always look their best. Fashionable, neat and tastefully chosen clothes make a girl irresistible. Everyone around her pays attention to her, including other girls. It will not be difficult to attract the attention of the guy you like. No matter what time of day it is, a girl should always look good, because you can meet your lover at any time. The advantage is that appearance also helps to gain self-confidence. This rule should not be neglected. As you can see, the last two points are inextricably linked with each other.

And most importantly, act according to your heart! Be that as it may, your heart is your best adviser. It will tell you at the right moment how to behave or what to say. And never ignore your own emotions and feelings. Overcome your fearfulness and uncertainty! If you love yourself and respect yourself, others will treat you the same way.

Where to start

Before you start developing tactics, you need to find out more about the object of love: his hobbies, interests, what kind of girls he likes. With a wealth of knowledge, it will be easier to conquer a guy and get his attention. And the list will tell you what else needs to be done:

1. Become visible. This does not mean that you should dress in bright clothes or dye your hair an unimaginable color. It is enough to get closer to his ideal of beauty.
2. To be in a good mood. Men are drawn to cheerful women who radiate positive energy. If a girl wants to win the attention of a boy, she needs to try to have fun in the company of her friends in front of him. You can smile and wink at a guy, and he will involuntarily want to sit down and laugh with everyone else.
3. Don't pretend to be the snow queen, but be friendly. Don’t be afraid to come up first to chat and say something nice. For example, praise or ask where he bought a watch, T-shirt, headphones, clarifying that the information is for his brother or dad.
4. Light flirting will help to interest the young man. When meeting, you must try to catch the young man’s gaze and accidentally touch his hand. Some girls like to straighten their hair with a graceful movement of their hand or lick their lips with the tip of their tongue.
5. Drop seriousness and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. You need to calmly react to minor troubles and not attach much importance to them.

To win a youth's heart, it is important for a girl to feel confident and capable of achieving difficult goals. Otherwise, nothing will come of the idea.

Character

A girl should remain herself. There is no need to pretend to be someone you really are not. The guy will not appreciate this when, over time, he gets to know the girl better and sees her true face. The guy should immediately accept you for who you are. Pretending never helped anyone, it only got in the way. The only thing worth doing sometimes is allowing yourself to sometimes give in, give in to your lover. The guy will definitely appreciate it. The ability to compromise plays a very important role in relationships.

Beautiful and cultured speech3

Selective obscenities and collective farm speech from the lips of a woman can shock any man, not only a perfectly educated man, but also a notorious criminal and an illiterate hillbilly. Watch what you say, no words like “che”, “sha”, “havat” and so on. A girl should be able to express herself beautifully; her upbringing and culture will always attract the attention of men.

Perhaps in the future you will understand that obscene language or distorted words are acceptable in communication with your chosen one. But at first, while you are just trying to achieve his gaze, watch your conversational speech.

How to get a guy who doesn't care about you?

At first, a guy may be indifferent to a girl who has turned her attention to him. Here you need to earn respect for yourself. This can be done by maintaining your self-esteem, developing and becoming an interesting person. Even if a guy is not interested in you, this does not mean that you should run after him like a dog.

Don't chase a guy, even if you like him. And make every meeting with him interesting, so that he wants to see you again.