A very large number of people around the world are concerned about the issue of polygamy. Moreover, this applies not only to men, but also to women. It should be noted that the term female polygamy does not exist in science. According to statistics, the number of polygamous men in percentage terms significantly exceeds polygamous women. Many scientists and psychologists cannot figure out whether to consider this a problem or a mere excuse. Polygamy and monogamy are observed not only in humans, but also in animals, even flowers. So, polygamy among men – what is it?
What is male polygamy
Polygamous man - who is he?
A polygamous man is a man who is married to several women at the same time. Although in our time the concept of male polygamy has become a little blurred and has lost its specific boundaries. Now a polygamous man is someone who cannot decide on a partner for the rest of his life and tries to satisfy his physiological needs with each person he likes. As a rule, this is very disturbing for the female sex, since women much earlier develop the desire to create family comfort and give birth to children for their chosen one.
Polygamy - what is it for men? The concept of polygamy has been known for many years. At all times there were men who were called “walkers”, “womanizers” or “Don Juans”; this was considered normal. And there were women who secretly cried at night from unrealistic dreams of winning the hearts of such gentlemen forever.
What does this term mean?
Optimist - who is he?
What does the word polygamous mean? The term “polygamy” came to Russia from Ancient Greece, its meaning is polygamy (“polos” - multiple, “homos” - marriage). So who is a polygamous person? This term has two subcategories:
- Female – polyandry. A case where one woman is married to several men at the same time.
- Male - polygyny. A case where one man is married to several women at the same time.
Many people associate the concept of polygamy with numerous marriages, with subsequent divorce proceedings. The number of civil unions concluded with subsequent divorces has nothing to do with male and female polygamy; it could be monogamy - the opposite concept.
The social component of this view
In most countries of the world, polygamy is prohibited by law. In addition to legislation, the population is influenced by religious beliefs, social beliefs, etc., which condemn polygamy. Each religion, each social culture can interpret intersexual relations in its own way, but many consider polygamy to be fornication, depraved education, adultery, etc.
Religions in most countries around the world condemn polygamy
Monogamy2
Accordingly, monogamy is the complete opposite of the principle described above. After all, the prefix mono is the antonym of the word many. These are the most ordinary families and people who choose only one partner and do not cheat on him.
There is also such a thing as serial monogamy. This is when a person can change his partner throughout his life, but his loyalty to monogamy cannot be in doubt. A change of partner can occur after a divorce or the death of a loved one. One way or another, most ordinary families are a union of serial monogamists.
We have collected everything you need to know about the fidelity of a man and a woman in our next article.
Reasons for polygamous relationships
Probably not a single person can name specific reasons for polygamy. Men treat their desires as something that cannot be changed. Women begin to look for the cause within themselves, turn to psychotherapists, and try to solve the problem.
Kinesthetic - what kind of person is this?
In fact, polygamy does not suit not only females; very often men feel caught between two fires and experience an inability to identify their soul mate. It seems to them that they have the same feelings for one, and for the second, and even for the third. In moments of reflection over the choice of a single companion, men feel that with the loss of other women some part of their soul will be lost. A monogamous man demands recognition from one specific woman.
Not much is known about the male view of polygamous relationships, because the male part of the population rarely resorts to the services of psychologists. Only recently have they stopped seeing any reason for this, so at the beginning of this century the study of this psychological trait began to gain momentum. There can be many reasons for the development of polygamy; they are all conventionally divided into physical and psychological. All psychological abnormalities, as doctors themselves say, come from childhood.
Very often, polygamy opens up to those men who, as little boys, did not receive enough of their mother’s affection and care. Therefore, in adulthood, they try to get this attention from a large number of women, in whose prototype they see their mother. Psychological polygamy is not as closely related to sexual desire as physiological polygamy.
Note! According to some research data, during sexual intercourse, the female vagina secretes a substance that provokes increased erection of the male genital organ. At such moments, the polygamous male feels “on top.” Accordingly, he does not want to lose this feeling by refusing any of the women.
Factors7
There are also a number of factors that incline a person to one of the types of relationships:
- Religious canons. The influence of faith on marriage can be seen in the examples listed above. Thus, Christians prefer to marry one girl, and Jews have a rule that obliges the brother of a man killed in war to marry his wife.
- The influence of society - if a guy at work is told stories about how his married colleague “had a great time on the weekend with his girlfriend,” a corresponding image of a “real man” begins to form in his head.
- A boy who grows up in a single-parent family will be predisposed to create similarly dysfunctional families. In practice, it will be easy for him to leave his wife and go to another. But proper education can smooth out this moment.
In fact, it will be difficult to persuade an intelligent representative of the male half of the population to make a choice. He himself is able to decide how many women he wants to connect his life with, and no stereotypes or beliefs will change his choice.
What is polygamy expressed in?
Phlegmatic - who is he, brief description
Polygamy of men can be expressed in dissatisfaction with any trait (psychological or physiological) in their chosen one. When this dissatisfaction is detected, the man goes to correct the situation with another woman. As a rule, having achieved harmony, he can no longer part with any of his women, since they complement each other in his eyes. This can only mean that polygamy is becoming an integral part of his life.
Polygamy occurs due to dissatisfaction with any trait of the chosen one
Benefits of Polygamous Relationships
Oddly enough, polygamy has its advantages not only for the male part of the population, but also for the female part. You just have to look at the situation from the other side and you can find out:
- Polygamy allows you to satisfy all the desires of a man without violating the principles of a woman. If one woman cannot satisfy all a man’s needs without violating her psychological boundaries, and he can realize his desires with another woman, then no moral violence arises.
- A woman who knows about the existence of another passion for her man may not worry when he is delayed. This reduces the level of anxiety in the family.
- A woman can be sure that she has excellent taste, since her man is in demand.
Monogamy
For the overwhelming number of representatives of the fair sex, monogamy is the norm and is embedded at the internal level. As a rule, a woman is raised from childhood as a future keeper of the hearth and mother; she is taught that she is responsible for certain obligations.
A large role in a woman’s worldview is played by her hormonal levels, which shape the need to take care of their children. She simply has no time and no need to have several partners at once.
Monogamous marriage implies fidelity between spouses; there is no place for a third person. In addition, it is worth remembering that there are a number of advantages in such an alliance:
- full support from society;
- classic form of relationship;
- concentration of spouses only on each other;
- rational distribution of property between descendants;
- loyalty of partners, guaranteeing protection from various infections that can be obtained in the case of casual relationships.
Men who prefer polygamous relationships justify their needs and inclinations, first of all, by the fact that the classical form of marriage tends to quickly become boring, which means that the family will gradually become an exclusively burden. As men say: “We eat black bread every day, but sometimes we want something more.”
Disadvantages of Polygamous Relationships
You should not turn a blind eye to the shortcomings of such relationships. There are undoubtedly more of them, they harm the mental state of a woman. The most important of them:
- The feeling of not getting enough sexually, but also morally and financially. After all, a man spends time, energy, and money not on one woman, but on several at once.
- Decreased self-esteem from thoughts that a man is not satisfied with something in his character or relationship. Self-esteem is also reduced by the priorities set by a man.
- Jealousy.
- Problems that arise in everyday life are much more difficult to solve, since the desires and capabilities of another party have to be taken into account.
- When there are children, polygamy is usually hidden. Children feel the tension that arises between mother and father. They are unable to defuse the situation, so secrets and misunderstandings appear in the family.
- Discussion of personal relationships by third parties. Simply put, there is a lot of gossip.
Modern painting3
The vast majority of states prohibit polygamy at the legislative level. And only about fifty countries in Asia and Africa allow their citizens to have several official spouses. These are mainly states where the official religion is Islam and countries of the so-called “third world”, where the standard of living (and laws), to put it mildly, do not shine. The limit on the number of loved ones and “only ones” depends on the level of the man’s material well-being. This is especially true for Islam, because the husband must take care of and provide for each wife and all his children.
In practice, most Muslims take only one girl as their wife. And creating a harem for yourself is the privilege of rich men.
Western countries, Europe and Slavic states choose monogamy. There can only be one husband and one wife in a family. As you may have already noticed, religion plays an important role in creating a family. Christianity (Orthodox and Catholic) accepts only monogamous families.
A rather interesting situation is developing in the northern regions of the Caucasus, where officially a man can only have one wife. But in these regions there live people who profess Islam. So some men enter into an official marriage with one woman, and then “get married” the required number of times in the mosque.
Is it worth fighting polygamy in men?
Many psychotherapists argue that it is useless to fight male polygamy, since it arises on an instinctive level. It is very difficult for a man, like a woman, to overcome his “natural” beginning.
Important! In this struggle, a woman will spend all her strength and energy, but will achieve minimal results. Therefore, you need to start fighting with yourself, with your reaction to what is happening, with your thoughts and statements, with your worldview. Then it is possible to improve relations between two individuals of different sexes with minimal psychological losses.
The fight against polygamy rarely leads to positive results
Women's secrets
Every woman has her own methods and ways to tame a man. Like real psychologists, they use flattery. After all, men, like children, believe in their chosenness and unsurpassability, so even undisguised flattery will do. Of course, you should respect his opinion, his hobbies, his mother. Constant support will become a priority factor so that a man will not look for understanding on the side. After all, at home they will understand him, accept him and warm him up like nowhere else.
And finally, the most important thing is to remain honest with yourself. If you need a man, then it’s worth fighting for him and for your family. If love has passed, then there is no need to hold on to the past. Every woman is worthy of love and is not doomed to humiliation. It's the 21st century. We must boldly look into the future and not be afraid to change our lives.
This is all the information for today. I think we have figured out who a polygamous man is. I wish you happiness and love! Let the word “betrayal” never be present in your relationships with your loved ones. Subscribe to my blog, participate in discussions, bring your friends. Goodbye, my dear readers!
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Polygamy and domestic mentality
The domestic mentality does not support either male polygamy or female polyandry. Nowadays, there are countries where neither law nor religion prohibit polygamy. This attitude is instilled in people from a very early age. In Russia, where the majority of the population belongs to Orthodoxy, polygamy is prohibited. The law does not allow simultaneous marriage between a man and several women and vice versa.
If a reaction to male polygamy occurs, a woman can try to solve the problem on her own. As a rule, this leads to one result - divorce. If a woman feels that she is not able to cope with her man’s polygamy, it is worth contacting a psychotherapist so that independent attempts to survive unpleasant situations do not lead to sad consequences.
In simple words about the complex
The word polygamy itself hides many concepts. If you turn to the dictionary, it becomes clear that polis (πολύς) in Greek means many, and γάμος means marriage. As a result, we get something like polygamy or polygamy.
But the concept of marriage was created by human civilization, therefore polygamy in nature should be understood as the presence of two or more sexual partners in one individual. Each species of animal has its own system of “personal relationships”. The emperor penguin, wolves and swans choose one partner for life, but lions are bright representatives of polygamy, and polyandry too.
So people who are characterized by a tendency to have several relationships at once should be called polygamous. Accordingly, they lack the concept of loyalty to one single person. Nowadays there is an opinion that nature instilled monogamy in girls, and a polygamous man is also the result of the work of natural mechanisms. But this rumor is quite difficult to confirm. We will examine the issue of polygamy and monogamy in detail in the article at the link.
Research in recent years has hinted that the desire to connect your life with one or more partners depends on the presence of certain genes, which means that to create a harmonious family you need to find a person with identical views on life, or genes if you will.
