Self-confidence - what it is and how to build it

Confidence is a mental state that provides a realistic assessment of one's own capabilities and acceptance of daily tasks, even in conditions associated with anxiety or objective obstacles. This is achieved through healthy self-awareness, self-acceptance, adequate self-esteem and high self-esteem.

Self-confidence is often confused with arrogance and lack of modesty. Meanwhile, just the opposite - such behavior, as a rule, is an expression of uncertainty in relationships with other people and stems from the need to hide one’s own weaknesses.

Self-confidence is also not the complete absence of doubt or unlimited courage. It is the ability to act despite natural dilemmas and concerns. It can be concluded that it is a state in which attitudes and behavior remain consistent with values ​​and beliefs, even at the cost of opposing criticism or rejection.

Declension of the noun confidence (which case)

Declension of words by case in singular and plural.

Scope of use

Mathematics Reliability Advertising Christianity Rare expression

The Complete Guide to Self-Confidence

There is an opinion that self-confidence is more than just knowledge and skills. Of course, this is not entirely true, but there is a grain of truth in this thought. It is easier for a self-confident person to get what he wants, while an insecure person is characterized by doubts and delays.

Every day, every hour and every minute we decide how we will behave. And if we don’t do this consciously, we will only react to circumstances and the demands of other people. Confidence is necessary in order to know what you want and take all possible actions in order to get what you want.

If you don't have confidence, you automatically become insecure. It may seem that calmness and regularity are what lies between confidence and uncertainty, but in fact they are precisely part of confidence.

Imagine confidence as a certain desire, on the way to which there is an obstacle - external or internal. Internal may be fear or doubt. External - lack of money or experience. But even in this case, we are still talking, rather, about internal obstacles. You see a goal, but you're afraid of the imaginary pain you imagine and come up with dozens of reasons why you won't be able to achieve it.

This article is a confidence guide for anyone who wants to believe in themselves and get rid of fears. Or at least start acting without regard to them.

Self-esteem and self-confidence

Self-esteem is a person’s idea of ​​the importance of his personality, evaluating himself and his own feelings and qualities, strengths and weaknesses. There are three levels of self-esteem: low, adequate and high.

With low self-esteem, a person tends to often criticize himself (even when it is inappropriate), perceive criticism addressed to him painfully, and please others in order to increase his self-esteem.

High self-esteem is the opposite of low self-esteem. Often associated with exalting oneself and one’s merits, inadequate assessment of one’s own importance, etc. Inflated self-esteem, if it is fueled not only by imagination, but also by real qualities and successes, is not always a negative phenomenon. A person with high self-esteem can be both self-confident (which is bad) and driven (which is good). In the latter state, he believes in his abilities so much that he receives a fair amount of motivation and even luck, due to which he succeeds in whatever he undertakes.

Adequate self-esteem is an ideal state for professionals in their field, people who are not shocking and who know their worth. With this level of self-esteem, a person can learn from his mistakes, take criticism well, and gradually move towards success.

Considering the above, you need to understand that adequate self-esteem is good, but appropriate inflated self-esteem can also come in handy. Miracles happen when there is a balance between them.

Factors that influence self-confidence

Factors that influence our self-esteem and self-confidence are also internal and external. But since they often intersect and shape each other, we will consider them together.

1

People around

Successful, confident people avoid pessimists or those who constantly doubt. They, like no one else, understand that the environment influences how a person thinks. Therefore, rule one: surround yourself with confident people.

2

Lack of sleep and poor diet

It's hard to imagine a confident rock man who eats poorly and doesn't pay attention to his health. You can practice self-hypnosis as much as you like, but if your body fails you, it will also affect your psyche.

A person who has slept poorly cannot be self-confident for the reason that this requires great willpower. Willpower is energy that must be replenished through sleep and rest.

3

Willpower level

If you've ever struggled with breaking a bad habit or starting a good one and lost, know that 50% of the time it was due to a lack of willpower. It is needed in order to wake up in the morning and ask yourself the question “How confident am I in myself?” and having received the answer “Not at all sure,” you could instantly pull yourself together and begin to follow the recommendations (which will be discussed later).

It turns out to be a vicious circle. You cannot become confident because you are not confident in yourself. Willpower training will help you get out of the vicious circle. You can instantly cheer up and feel confident in your abilities if you really want it. It's like when you lie exhausted on your bed after work, and then you receive an invitation to a cool party and your strength instantly appears. The fact is that they did not disappear.

Willpower allows you to access your inner strength. You just have to want it.

4

Competence/Confidence Loop

Psychologists have long noticed one interesting pattern. The more a person engages in any activity, the more confident he becomes. Two conclusions follow from this: good and not so good. The good thing is that confidence will come as you begin to gain experience and improve your professional level. What's not so good is that it takes time.

But in this case we are talking about the purest self-confidence. The one that becomes second nature to you.

5

Level of fear and doubt

Take good care of yourself. The next time you feel unsure, listen to what exactly you are feeling. Most likely it will be fear or doubt. Therefore, the first step is the ability to recognize them and honestly admit to yourself that you are afraid or doubtful.

Fears and doubts are accompanied by the same thoughts or questions. For example:

• What if I get rejected?
• What if I don't succeed?
• I can not.
• Anything but this.

We are afraid of pain, often far-fetched. Ask yourself other questions, preferably in writing. Analyze why you think this way. Is it really that bad?

6

Inner voice

What words do you say to yourself immediately after waking up? What words do you say to yourself when you go to bed? What words do you say to yourself when faced with difficulties?

The inner voice has an incredible impact on the psyche and dozens of different aspects of our lives.

7

Stress and pressure

Failing to deal with stress and pressure can kill confidence. It is important not only to fight them, but also to notice them in time. If it’s difficult to notice, then plan a mini-vacation in advance. You can't go wrong with these things—tension will still arise.

How to increase self-confidence

Considering all of the above, let's get down to ways to develop self-confidence.

Get ready . You can rely on impromptu only in unforeseen situations; in everything else, you must prepare carefully. The speaker must study his speech and practice his gestures, but at the same time he must learn a lot of additional information - just in order to increase the level of competence. A businessman must not only know how to create a company, but also understand the characteristics of the product being produced, marketing, and sales. Confidence comes from preparation and knowing you know enough.

Use correct body language . Google “Power Pose,” go to the pictures section, and practice some power poses. If some of them seem too pretentious to you, do the minimum - don’t slouch, look straight into the eyes of your interlocutor, relax your body.

Pay attention to the voice . When you mumble or speak uncertainly, a conversation takes place between you and the other person on an intuitive level: you know that he knows that you are not confident in yourself. Which makes you even more uncomfortable. Don't be loud or quiet, don't chatter, control your voice.

Develop optimism and positive thinking . This means that you must develop a certain attitude towards your failures and mistakes. Once failures stop bothering you, half the job is done. Be persistent.

Vicarial learning . It is observing the achievements of others. This includes both working with successful people, masters of their craft, and reading biographies. Don't hesitate to use any of these methods. This way you can see how people deal with the same challenges you face.

Verbal persuasion . Oddly enough, even the banal thought “Come on, you can do it” is much more effective than a train of thought that instills fear. If you take the time to talk to yourself for at least a few minutes, the effect will be even stronger. It is important to understand that such phrases should become a habit, and not be used occasionally.

Increase your emotional intelligence . A confident person will never experience emotions that are inappropriate for the situation. He is in complete control of how he feels and does not allow negative and destructive emotions to take him by surprise.

Action, action, action . Pull yourself together and start doing something. It hardly matters how valuable these actions are. You can water the plants in your home and feel a huge surge of strength and energy. Have you noticed that when you do nothing, you get even more tired? When we are not confident in ourselves, we cannot get down to business and bring anything to the end. You need completed things, you need to show yourself that you can do it.

Get to know yourself . Before entering battle, a wise general carefully studies his enemy. You cannot defeat the enemy without knowing him. When it comes to developing self-confidence, your biggest enemy is yourself. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about what you think, analyze the reasons for negative thoughts. And then think about the good things about yourself, about what you can do better than many people, about what you like. Start thinking about your limitations and whether they are real. Know yourself.

Focus on solving problems . If you are a complainer or problem-focused, change your focus. Focusing on solutions instead of problems is one of the best things you can do for confidence.

Clear your work area . It may seem inconsequential, but just do it. Insecurity comes from confusion, don't add it to your life even on a physical level.

Features of confidence of men and women

For men, self-confidence is the ability to act, to perform confident and measured actions, to achieve mastery in something. Men are motivated by achieving goals and success; their specific measurement is important to them.

Women increase their self-confidence through self-esteem, as well as their inner attitude. If for men it is sometimes enough to behave confidently and gain a surge of strength through actions and deeds, then for women it all starts from within.

A woman cannot feel confident in herself if she does not feel comfortable in the situation. Having found peace within, she is able to believe in herself. At the same time, for women, external factors are of great importance, which are then interpreted internally: her appearance, her gait, the compliments she receives.

Speaking about self-esteem as the main character of female self-confidence, it is worth saying that it is formed from many factors: addiction, social anxiety, general anxiety, shame, depression, inferiority, helplessness, perfectionism (and its consequence - procrastination).

There are several ways you can improve your self-esteem:

• Change history . We all have a self-image that shapes our self-perception and on which our core image is based. If we want to change it, we must understand where it comes from. Is this our personal opinion? Sometimes automatic negative thoughts, such as “you're fat” or “you're lazy,” can be repeated in the mind so often that a person begins to believe they are true even when they are not. But what do you really want to believe? Repeat this to yourself every day.
• Be aware . We cannot change something until we admit that it needs changing. Simply by becoming aware of our negative self-regulation, we begin to distance ourselves from the feelings it causes. This allows you to identify with them to a lesser extent. But without this awareness, we can easily fall into the trap of believing in our limited potential, and as meditation teacher Allan Lokos blazes: “Don’t believe everything you think. Thoughts are just thoughts.”
• Set up a new channel . Albert Einstein once said: “Each of us is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, then it will live its whole life thinking it is stupid.” We all have strengths and weaknesses. Someone can be a brilliant musician but a terrible cook. No single quality defines your core value. Recognize what your strengths are. Ask yourself: “Have you ever experienced a situation in my life where my self-esteem increased? What was/was I doing at that moment?
• Remember that you are not a product of circumstances . By accepting your imperfections, you create the potential for growth. With this knowledge, you can grow freely rather than fear failures that don't change your core value.

What books can you read?

To develop self-confidence and make it a personality trait, you need to work hard on yourself. To do this, you need not only to follow these tips every day, but also to analyze yourself, not stop improving, and read books on this topic. Here are some of them:

• Dale Carnegie: How to Build Confidence and Influence People by Speaking in Public.
• Robert Anthony "Secrets of Self Confidence"
• Alice Muir "Self Confidence" A book for working on yourself."
• Amy Cuddy "Presence of Mind"
• Malcolm Gladwell "David and Goliath"

We can also recommend videos of Tony Robbins, which you can find on YouTube: pay attention to what he says, how he speaks and how he behaves. Robbins can be a great role model for many who want to be confident.

We wish you good luck!

We also recommend reading:

• Storytelling
• 10 Steps to Healthy Self-Esteem
• Three masks of pathological narcissism
• How to communicate with manipulators
• Mental tricks for self-confidence
• How to gain self-confidence
• Overcoming impostor syndrome
• Key principles of self-confidence
• How to increase self-esteem: practice from the field of NLP
• Formation of correct self-esteem
• Characteristics and types of conflict personality

Key words:1Self-knowledge

Causes of self-doubt

Why are there so few people who believe in themselves? The reasons may be different, let's look at the main ones.

• Upbringing. Often, parents and grandparents “help” us in developing complexes. When a child is often scolded in childhood, they say how stupid he is, that he can’t do anything on his own, this is deposited in the subconscious and often remains with the person all his life. Seemingly neutral phrases can also have an impact: “It’s too expensive for us,” “We don’t have the money for it,” “You don’t deserve it.” Having already become an adult, a person continues to consider himself unworthy and cannot decide to go for an interview with a good company, buy an expensive car, or meet a luxurious woman.
• Ridicule from others. This could be childhood trauma, when other children laughed at the child or adults spoke negatively. At a more mature age, this is less common, although it happens in different ways.
• Failures suffered. They can teach you a lot with the right attitude, but they can also break your self-confidence. Then a person begins to think that he is good for nothing, he can’t do anything, he is a loser.
• Lack of support from loved ones. We believe what our loved ones say, and therefore we begin to doubt our own abilities if those around us do not believe in us. “What stupidity is this business of yours! Go back to your official job, otherwise you won’t succeed.” Such phrases greatly undermine self-confidence, especially if a person is trying to start a new business and just now needs outside support.

4. The ability to pretend

Confident people are great at pretending, but not because they like to lie. They just know that this is the best way to get comfortable in a new role or in a situation that is nerve-wracking.

They may pretend to be relaxed and confident in a new company or when speaking in public - and sooner or later they actually begin to feel so. Or pretend that others initially like them, and actually gain everyone's sympathy.

So it's worth trying out their approach the next chance you get - for example, when you find yourself at a party where you don't know anyone, or when your boss asks you to give a presentation.

Connection with other words

Words ending with -confidence:

• uncertainty
• self-confidence
• sovereignty

Hypo-hyperonymic relationships

confidence unbelief godlessness

What is confidence (adjectives)?

Selection of adjectives for words based on the Russian language.

full solid calm unshakable absolute former former greater strange come necessary internal ordinary cold one hundred percent necessary unshakable every deep indestructible new similar some acquired gloomy inexplicable special own habitual mature boundless joyful growing iron inflexible excessive additional sudden naive arrogant certain pleasant subconscious incomprehensible complete amazing ostentatious based unshakable excessive general false vague newfound masculine terrible incredible persistent universal proud inspiring professional self-satisfied happy

What can confidence do? What can you do with confidence (verbs)?

Selection of verbs for words based on the Russian language.

say declare leave return utter hesitate answer grow waver make convey appear understand evaporate disappear base speak wash away transmit speak return think melt support strengthen sound feel fill decide flash change object evaporate know conclude give have help strengthen act add give evaporate nod repeat embrace confirm abyss define impart assert continue to be strengthened to generate fade to leave to appear to appear to announce to answer to proceed

Associations to the word confidence

voice success victory future correctness correctness safety ability existence power movement necessity face impunity word life right superiority reliability guilt strength attitude inviolability innocence eye death outcome possibility absence heart support impossibility reality luck justice inevitability achievement infallibility reason love sama answer result truth presence invincibility salvation conversion of souls triumph stability end hand inevitability proximity vocation feasibility matter accuracy sincerity friend gain consciousness inaccessibility

Synonyms of confidence

faith trust credit intelligence reconnaissance

Hyponyms for confidence

1. disbelief
2. credit

Scope of use of the word confidence

General vocabulary Mathematics Medicine Slang Economics

5.Striving to become better

Probably, each of us has thought at least once that literally everyone around us lives a richer, brighter and more prosperous life than we do. And there are two ways: give up and give up on everything, or try to become that “best version of yourself.”

Confident people don't give up. They find a landmark and strive towards it. They become the very people who know what to do in a given situation - or at least pretend until they do it right.

Act like a confident person

Re-embody the person you are becoming and focus on the fact that you exude confidence. All day today, especially before you practice a new habit or give up an old one, imagine yourself as a renewed, completely confident person. You are so confident, worry-free, relaxed, poised and in control that you barely notice the habit. Well, naturally I go for a run. I always do this, and I do it well. What's another plate of warm cookies? All I see is my sunny kitchen and my adorable kids snacking at the table. I don’t even remember that it was difficult for me to meditate - now it’s second nature to me. Are you saying that this is really difficult for someone? Create a character out of the confident person you become and wear his fancy suit all day long.

Translation of confidence

We offer you a translation of the word confidence into English, German and French. Implemented using the Yandex.Dictionary service

• To English

• confidence
  - trust, certainty, guarantee to express confidence - express confidence
• reasonable certainty
• assurance of salvation

3.Ability to adapt

As children, many of us think that the school “clown”, the main “clown” in the class, is very confident in himself. This is mistake. Most likely, such a child has very low self-esteem, and he needs the attention of others - no matter what the cost.

And, on the contrary, there are people whose very appearance in the room makes everyone instinctively turn around - not because they dress brightly or behave provocatively. Their confidence simply attracts attention.

But the main thing is that such people adapt perfectly to situations and circumstances. This means that they easily find a common language with children and adults, people of different social status and position, without doing anything special for this. Except by watching.

2. Observation

It is believed that the youngest child in the family has an advantage. Psychotherapist Alfred Adler also wrote that such a boy or girl gets the chance to watch older siblings make friends, build boundaries, make mistakes and do things for the first time - and this becomes a wonderful school for him or her.

However, you can develop your powers of observation at any age, even if you were an only child. Do a simple exercise: sitting in a cafe or in a park, observe how the people around you behave.

How they greet each other, communicate, flirt. Do some people smile more often than others, listen more attentively, or ask more questions? Most likely, these are self-confident people - they really pay more attention to the interlocutor, observe him, are interested in his life and problems, and give deeper and more meaningful answers.

Being around a self-confident person makes us feel good and calm, and we ourselves begin to feel a little more confident. And, watching him, we can, over time, become like that ourselves.