Not everyone admits that they are addicted to communication. For a person to be in society is a vital necessity. Why does a person need communication, what is its meaning and benefit. Why the need to interact with other people is so important to the individual. What problems can arise due to lack of communication and how to avoid them. You will find answers to all these questions in the article.
Why is communication necessary?
A little-known fact: if a person is isolated from society for a long time, he will begin to degrade. Changes in the psyche will appear. Man is a herd creature, and we cannot live and develop normally without communication and interaction.
Psychologists understand communication as interaction through words, gestures, body position, facial expressions, and facial expressions. It is very important for a person to have people like him around him.
Why is communication so important?
- A person receives confirmation of his “I” from others. Personal identification occurs. This does not seem significant to the conscious mind, but it is very important to the subconscious mind. We look into others like mirrors, and they show us who we are.
- Communication allows you to compare yourself with others. We receive an assessment of our qualities, actions and deeds. This is how a person sets boundaries for himself—moral barriers.
- We receive approval, sympathy and support as confirmation that our feelings are correct and justified. When people like us tell us that they felt the same way in such a situation, it becomes easier to survive the stressful situation.
- A person experiences pleasure when he shares his feelings with others. Joy will not be complete if there is no one nearby who can be happy for you. And going through grief alone is even more difficult. This is also a property of the psyche: to consult, to share.
This is why communication is important for humans. Thanks to him, he does not lose himself. He focuses on other people, compares himself with them. This is how societies of people are created in which it is not customary to kill or humiliate. People build a peaceful life that is convenient for the majority. Asocial personalities exist and have always existed, but they are rather the exception that only confirms the rule. For them in our society there are special correctional institutions: offices of psychologists, psychiatrists, prisons.
If people lived separately and did not communicate with each other, we would have a world similar to a mental hospital. A person cannot be mentally healthy while in isolation for a long time. Remember Robinson Crusoe: he talked to the ball. If he didn't do this, he would go crazy.
The second example is conflicts at work.
The manager complains that all his subordinates are uninitiated “shitholes.” I ask what he does with them in order to turn them into proactive “non-peckers”? He cheerfully answers: “I yell at them and constantly put my face on the table!” I ask the following question: “What happens to them at these moments?” The manager immediately and confidently answers: “They are becoming even more stupid before our eyes!”
Can the actions of our wonderful leader lead to the fact that his subordinates become sharply wiser, gain initiative and business acumen? How do you think?
Mutual understanding in communication
This is, perhaps, the basis lying on the surface. It is mutual understanding that people consider the main benefit of communication. This is why a person needs communication: he feels that others understand him. He realizes that if others act and feel the same way, then he is right.
It is not possible to reach mutual understanding with every person. This is influenced by many factors.
For example, different temperaments: if a melancholic person sobs in three streams, a choleric person will only get angry and condemn such a reaction.
Another example: different living conditions. When a poor person loses his wallet, it is perceived much harder than if it happens to a rich person.
They say: “The well-fed are no friend to the hungry.” And that's true. If a single girl is late for a date and tells her married friend about it, she will not understand the depth of her disappointment.
Intelligence also influences. People who like to speculate about deep things, the universe, and discuss some lofty topics will not be able to do this with people of a different mental structure. Thus, a candidate of science in philosophy will have nothing to talk about with his classmate, who is only interested in fashionable handbags and the latest news. Many felt this themselves: not all classmates were able to find a common language. Everyone is just different. And without mutual understanding, relationships will not work.
If the husband dreams of a cool car and traveling in a fun company, and the wife wants many children and her own home, such a couple will not last long. Mutual understanding is a coincidence of views, thoughts, preferences. That's what communication is for. Contact established at this base. Such people become friends.
Why is a person afraid of communication: reasons and ways to combat phobia?
Fear of communication often occurs in early childhood. At the first unsuccessful attempt to talk with peers, the child becomes withdrawn and avoids contact. Pressure from adults only increases his discomfort, causing him to become self-absorbed and afraid of people. If a person does not cope with the problem of social anxiety in adulthood, he is deprived of the opportunity to create normal work and friendships.
The situation can be corrected with targeted long-term therapy. Fear of talking can be treated by gradually engaging in social interaction. At first, a person learns to have short-term conversations with strangers, gradually complicating the forms of interaction to multi-level close contact.
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The benefits of communication
Not every person has friends. This happens: there are people who have a hard time getting used to others, who are very different from those around them. There are also those who simply don't crave connection or don't take the time to bond with others. For such people in situations of stress, psychotherapists' offices are recommended. This is what a person needs communication for: it heals.
Even if you don’t have a friend to whom you could confide, talk about your problems and get support, communication is necessary for the psyche. When a person does not trust others and keeps everything to himself, problems accumulate. This is how muscle tension occurs in the body, which can provoke any disease, except, perhaps, syphilis. As one satirist wrote: “All diseases are from nerves, only syphilis is from pleasure.”
If you talk about the problem, it can be resolved completely or partially. In any case, discharge occurs. The benefits of communication for people are invaluable. As such a release, psychologists advise keeping a personal diary. But it is much more effective to find support from your interlocutor.
Knowledge and experience
Why does a person need communication? The short answer is to share information. This gives knowledge and experience. In addition to our own experience, we adopt the experience of other people. Moreover, contrary to popular belief, you can learn from children, not only from the older generation. Through contacts with other people we gain new knowledge about everything. This promotes personal development. Our environment greatly influences us and shapes us as a person. Therefore, parents are often worried about their children, who choose their friends from the category of hooligans. What can they teach their child?
But this opinion is controversial. Every person has a certain set of qualities. And even psychos have something to learn. It all depends on the person: we ourselves decide what to “take” from others. After all, even educated people with a good reputation can learn bad things. For example, arrogance. And bullies can teach you how to stand up for yourself. They can explain that you should not leave a friend in trouble, they will show you what courage is. All people, without exception, are equal in this regard. And everyone has a virtue and a negative side. This is why a person needs communication: by contacting different people, we ourselves choose which traits to adopt. But in any case, we gain knowledge and life experience.
Looking at Things
Why is communication necessary? People do not always know exactly what to do in a given situation. We often engage in wishful thinking and act for the wrong reasons. Communication helps to look at the problem from a different angle. A person begins to understand a situation better when he talks about it with someone. The experience of other people allows us to adjust our actions and not make mistakes. This is what communication gives to a person. If, of course, a person is smart enough to listen to others.
Help and support
Communication allows us to provide not only moral assistance to loved ones. Tell your truly close people about your problem, they will help you resolve the issue. Thus, through communication, a person finds helpers. An old Russian proverb says: “Don’t have a hundred rubles, but have a hundred friends.” People help their friends and they expect the same help in return. This is called reciprocity. It is characteristic of friendly relations, because we do not choose relatives and they do not always turn out to be similar to us in their views on life. Of course, the unspoken law prescribes that relatives always help each other, but not everyone does this. And friends are people who do not owe each other anything. As a rule, they are the ones you can count on.
Why does mistrust arise, how to get closer to your interlocutor?
Personal characteristics and situations often interfere with full rapprochement. Tension arises between the interlocutors; they are wary and withdrawn. Rapprochement is prevented by:
- an initially negative attitude towards the interlocutor;
- unwillingness to listen to opposing opinions;
- the desire to suppress the interlocutor, to impose one’s opinion;
Getting closer is easier if the participants in the conversation are friendly, have similar views, and belong to the same age group.
The ability to empathize: empathy
Empathy is a term that means the ability to empathize. Empaths are people who take other people's misfortune to heart as if it were their own. In essence, this is a heavy burden, but here we do not choose. Empathy is not a developed habit, but an innate trait, like temperament and character.
Empaths are wonderful conversationalists and good friends. They always help because they also experience the pain that befell their loved ones. Such a virtue is not always good, especially for empaths themselves. They experience many times more than other people.
How to spot an empath.
- May cry while watching a movie.
- Drags stray animals into the apartment.
- He is a good listener.
- Helps not only with advice.
- Responsive.
- Often worries about trifles.
Such people are deeply receptive. They are wonderful friends. And this is another reason for communication: you will sympathize, you will feel relief when someone experiences identical feelings after hearing about your problem. Empathy is characteristic of every person, but to varying degrees. As a rule, friends show empathy towards each other.
The first example: the parent-child relationship.
A sweet lady complains about her daughter: “I tell her and tell her, but she doesn’t listen to me...”. I ask: “What do you want for your daughter?” The sweet lady replies that she wants her daughter to find her own path in life. At the same time, she constantly tells her what to do and how to do it.
Funny contradiction. Is not it? A person wants to achieve independent and adult behavior from a teenager, while at the same time depriving him of any opportunity to express his desires and initiatives. The most amazing thing is that the dear lady does not see any contradiction in this. It escapes her consciousness. Do you think she will be able to achieve her desired goal and make her daughter an independent adult?
Reflection in communication
A very important property of communication is that through it we engage, among other things, in self-knowledge. The interlocutor may pay attention to how you think and how you perceive certain situations. This allows you to know yourself better and understand how you think. This is called reflection. Without communication, reflection turns out to be one-sided. And it’s harder to be objective.
Communication from the perspective of psychology
Psychologists have long established that closed people who have no friends and communicate little become antisocial. This threatens the emergence of psychological problems. Some become obsessed with themselves and their conditions. This is how hypochondria appears. Today this problem is very common. Other people do not share their experiences, they keep everything to themselves. They feel the burden of loneliness and become rude and callous.
It is communication that makes people human. This is the most important mechanism, it is inherent in man by nature. And people should not forget about this. Yes, it’s possible without communication. But this will leave its mark on the psyche over time. Whereas in communication a person is healed.
The role of communication
Let’s summarize the above and list the main positions of communication in a person’s life.
- Self-knowledge.
- The acquisition of knowledge.
- Help and support.
- The ability to assess the situation comprehensively, based on the opinion of the opponent.
- Empathy.
- Protection.
- Personal identification.
- Self-esteem.
- Psychological release.
A person receives all this through communication.
Terms of communication
There is a certain charter for the interactions of individuals. It is common for colleagues to greet with a nod, exchange smiles, and express approval with gestures. These are types of nonverbal communication. Look, body position, facial expression. Lovers can communicate without opening their mouths. Close people have long learned to understand each other without words.
There are other conditions. It is customary for friends and relatives to call each other on the phone. The condition for communicating with strangers is respect. We address elders as “you”. To the senior in position - by name and patronymic. This condition is called subordination. It is customary for young people to exchange special handshakes and jump on each other’s backs. Even a slap on the head can serve as a form of communication. And the form depends on the conditions: how close people are, how they usually interact. Here, upbringing, culture, and socialization have an influence.
Basic Principles for the Beneficial Exchange of Thoughts
To get satisfaction from any conversation, there are many universal rules of communication between people. By applying them in practice, many have mastered the skill of data transmission in the modern world.
Sincere interest in people
It is much easier to start and continue a conversation if you are constantly attentive to your interlocutor. It is important to remember his name, hobbies and interests.
Listening skills
One Eastern sage advised to be “quick to listen” than to speak. Therefore, you do not need to interrupt your interlocutor to express your thoughts. It is better to show self-control and respect for a person than to show off your knowledge.
Showing Kindness
In a conversation, you should not focus on the shortcomings of your interlocutor. Otherwise, a conflict may flare up. One must avoid arrogance and not ridicule the mistakes of others.
Choice of words
Often during conversations people hurt each other with words. If you don't apologize in time, the conversation will take an unpleasant turn. Therefore, it is important to constantly monitor your speech.
However, the most important rule of communication is a smile and friendliness. They should never be neglected. Even if the conversation takes on an unpleasant tone, a smile will help smooth out all the corners. Applying all the rules of communication will help develop good manners and a decent reputation in society.
Stages of communication
Standard set:
- visual contact (people see each other);
- greeting (people communicate with gestures or words that they have noticed each other);
- exchange of pleasantries - let's call them conventions
At this point, the conversation may end with a phrase signaling a desire to end the interaction. “Okay, I have to go,” “See you, hello wife.” If people have common topics, they are discussed, after which the conversation moves to the final stage.
- Ending the conversation.
Communication functions
The interaction of individuals has a number of functions.
- Transfer of information.
- Self-knowledge in intrapersonal communication.
- Receiving benefits, benefits.
- Secular communication that does not provide informational benefit: people talk about generally accepted topics.
- Possibility of self-confirmation.
- Influence on an opponent, manipulation.
Types of communication
There is a division into types of communication.
- Primitive - objects do not receive benefits, they only exchange pleasantries.
- Formal is a form of greeting imposed by society consisting of meaningless phrases.
- Role-based - subordination, people accept their assigned roles and perform communication rituals.
- Spiritual - deep understanding of each other. This usually happens with friends or lovers.
- Secular - limited to general phrases.
- Manipulative - communication with the aim of obtaining benefits, influencing a person or situation.
What helps people communicate
Communication is based on verbal and non-verbal signals. People always pick up on unsaid things on a subconscious level. For example, if a person is annoyed, but does not show it, the opponent can recognize this by gestures: crossed arms, looking to the side, flared nostrils. But this happens on a subconscious level, a person does not analyze the behavior and gestures of the interlocutor - his brain does this, sending signals to the subconscious. People call it a sixth sense when an employee suddenly realizes that there is no point in asking for leave now, although the boss has given no reason to think so. The brain has already scanned his behavior and sent a signal.
It's not just words that help people communicate. Communication occurs at the level of glances, gestures, and body position. An experienced psychologist will immediately figure out which of the couples in a cafe is in a quarrel and which is happy. People, captivated by each other, hold playful glances, their shoulders are completely turned towards each other.
Psychology of communicating with girls: how to start a conversation to interest any girl
Men use conversation to exchange specific information, seek approval from other men, and confirm their opinions. For girls, communication is a means of emotional exchange. To interest a girl in a conversation, you should start it with an unobtrusive compliment. Praise is attractive and encourages reciprocal engagement.
The topic of conversation is suggested by the initiator, but it is important to take into account the girl’s interests. If she continues the conversation out of politeness, but is not interested, the conversation will be crumpled and strained.
To arouse interest, it is important to let your interlocutor know that she is special. Crude flattery repels, but sincere sympathy wins. It is important to behave confidently, but not intrusively. Respect is the main rule of conversation, so in case of direct refusal, you cannot insist on continuing the conversation.
