Low self-esteem in a child: 10 ways to help a teenager gain confidence in himself?

A child’s lack of self-confidence negatively affects not only his current life, but also his future achievements. Low self-esteem in a teenager prevents him from developing fully. Thoughts of being laughed at, misunderstood, or school work not being good enough for everyone to see are anchors that hinder development.

Self-esteem plays a big role in the development of a child’s personality. The main step for a teenager on the path to success is the opportunity to realistically assess his place in society. Objective self-esteem helps a child understand what he can really do for a successful and happy life.

In early childhood, the sense of self-perception is impeccable. But under the influence of external factors (parents, relatives, educators and surrounding people), self-esteem is subject to adjustment.

Signs of low self-esteem in a child

How to understand that a child has problems with self-esteem? Psychologists identify a number of symptoms that may indicate low self-esteem in a child.

• Criticality – the child criticizes everything around him and feels dissatisfied when things don’t go according to plan. An upset child feels misunderstood and underappreciated, and this can provoke withdrawal.
• Tearfulness is the result of excessive criticism. Dissatisfaction with your results comes out through tears.
• Desire to be the center of attention - children constantly attract the attention of adults so as not to feel lonely. Adults do not always have time for constant conversations and joint activities, which angers and upsets children.
• Inability to lose - such children do not value the process of the game, but expect only a positive result from it, i.e. victories. They believe that this will allow them to earn the acceptance and love of others. Such children do not know how to admit defeat, and at the same time overestimate the fact of their victory (excessive boasting).
• Fear of making a mistake – fear of failure makes a child avoid risks. Therefore, the child chooses the action in which he is absolutely confident. This attitude interferes with development, and in addition contributes to the emergence of anxiety.
• Closedness and unsociability - introverts, as a rule, find it difficult to find a common language with peers and let other people into their space, so their social skills are poorly developed.
• Depressed mood – such children are often sad and not smiling. They do not have the motivation and vital energy for spontaneous actions.
• Achieving ideals - an attempt to bring any action to the ideal does not give the opportunity to focus on other important points. Perfectionism prevents a child from developing effectively and efficiently, because too much effort is spent on improving and correcting the result already achieved.
• Aggression is the best defense - attack. And the manifestation of aggression and anger only worsens relationships.
• Addiction to approval – children with low self-esteem are overly eager to receive approval from peers, parents, and teachers. This may be due to a lack of trust or a lack of understanding of how to understand yourself or how to evaluate your actions yourself.
• Behavioral factors - a child who lacks self-confidence often speaks quietly and indistinctly. doesn't make eye contact. In a team, he sits on the edge, does not try to establish contact with peers, thereby trying to distance himself from everyone. The appearance may be sloppy.

It is worth considering that all these signs can manifest themselves in different ways. It depends on temperament, character, family situation and life path.

The relationship between self-esteem and socio-psychological status.

Socio-psychological status is a concept that denotes a person’s position in the system of interpersonal relationships and the measure of his psychological influence on group members. Social perception is an area of ​​socio-psychological research in which the processes and mechanisms of people’s perception and evaluation of various social objects, events, and other people are studied. Low status is the “invisible” role of the subject in interpersonal relationships; the individual has little or no influence on the dynamics of relationships in the group. High status is a significant position in the group and an active influence on the dynamics of relations in the group. The well-known tendency of adolescents to group and the peculiar, often rigid, intra-group status differentiation inherent not only in informal groups, but also in the school class, makes it necessary to consider the relationship between a teenager’s self-esteem and his socio-psychological status. Data from a number of studies by domestic psychologists show the presence of this relationship, which is primarily positively correlated with the level characteristics of adolescents’ self-esteem. Ya. L. Kolominsky (1976) established a number of interesting patterns of social perception in adolescents:

1. a tendency towards overestimated self-esteem of sociometric status among low-status students and underestimation among high-status students;
2. egocentric leveling - the tendency to attribute to other group members a status either equal to one’s own or lower;
3. retrospective optimization is a tendency to evaluate one’s status in previous groups more favorably.

Subsequent research in this area confirms the influence of the characteristics of a teenager’s self-esteem on his socio-psychological status in the classroom: the more critical the teenager is of himself and the higher his self-esteem, the higher his positive sociometric status. And further, the higher the self-esteem and the higher the level of aspirations, the lower the positive sociometric status or the higher the negative status, depending on the behavioral characteristics of the person manifested in relation to the group: those prone to rational conformism fall into the “neglected” group, those prone to nonconformism fall into the “rejected” group. Some authors find the reason for this dependence in the growing self-criticism of adolescents. At the same time, they point out that a teenager’s incorrect awareness of his position in a team is often one of the main reasons for the emergence of conflict situations. A deviation in the adequacy of a teenager’s awareness of his position in the team, either towards overestimation or underestimation, can lead to undesirable results. If, for example, a student overestimates his position, then, as a rule, he has a negative attitude towards his comrades, showing disdain, while underestimation leads to uncertainty and alienation in the teenager.

Causes of low self-esteem in teenagers

Psychologists suggest that low self-esteem in children and adolescents is influenced primarily by environmental factors: the family situation, the presence of friends, the atmosphere in the school class. Characteristics of temperament and character may also influence.

Many parents may notice changes in behavior at the age of 6-7 years, when the child enters first grade. He faces new experiences and difficulties, and the influence of teachers and peers can have different effects on self-esteem. The more children feel warmth, love and care in the family, have the opportunity to discuss difficult issues and share experiences, the faster they adapt to social life in a new society.

With the transition to secondary school (at approximately the age of 11-12 years), a teenager’s self-esteem begins to adjust under the influence of relationships with peers.

Some children feel inferior due to personal characteristics:

• Congenital disease.
• Disability.
• Peculiarities of perception of educational information (slowness, need for repetition, etc.)
• Temperament.
• Physical characteristics (such as a birthmark, excess weight, thinness, or unusual hair color).

Relationships in the family can also become a significant reason for low self-esteem in a child: strong guardianship or lack of trust in the family negatively affects the teenager. Children withdraw into themselves, often thinking that adults do not need them.

Some parents may compare their child's failure to the success of a friend's son/daughter, emphasizing that the other child is better, smarter, or stronger. During such conversations, the teenager begins to doubt his abilities, believing that he is not good enough.

Social contacts at school with teachers and classmates also influence the formation of self-esteem. Bullying from peers, humiliation and intimidation from teachers can drive a child into a depressed state. The child needs to know that at home he is loved, valued and will always be supported.

Why self-esteem matters

Children who feel good have the confidence to try new things. They are more likely to try their best. They are proud of what they can do. Self-esteem helps children cope with mistakes. This helps children try again even if they fail at first. As a result, self-esteem helps children do better at school, at home and with friends.

The boy raised his finger up

Teens with high self-esteem will be able to:

• act independently;
• will be able to take responsibility;
• endure disappointment;
• try to solve new problems;
• cope with positive and negative emotions;
• will be able to offer help to others.

The girl is sad with her head down

How is self-esteem formed?

The formation of a child’s self-esteem is largely influenced by the behavior of adults: parents and teachers. From birth, the child looks at his parents, their reaction and waits for an assessment of his behavior, trying not to disappoint mom and dad.

It is important to make it clear to the child that it is impossible to know everything - it is human nature to make mistakes. And parents, as mentors, should not scold, but help and guide.

Each child is unique, and the role of elders is to reveal talent without underestimating abilities.

4 stages of development of self-esteem in a child:

1. From birth to 1.5 years, through the care and love of parents, the child develops trust in the world around him. The child does not fully understand the meaning of words. He feels his parents' appreciation through a smile, a hug, a gentle voice.
2. From 1.5 to 4 years is the age when a child actively explores the world around him. It is important to let your child feel independent. You shouldn’t prohibit him from exploring everything around him; it’s better to help him make this path comfortable and safe. The child is responsible for his own actions. The parent’s task is not to criticize, but to explain what the child did wrong. The emphasis is on the action, not on the child’s personality.
3. From 4 to 6 years old is the period when a child’s place in society becomes important. He wonders how many friends he has in kindergarten or in the playground near his house. Why doesn't anyone want to be friends with him or play with him? Looks for the reason in himself. At such moments, it is important that the parent supports the child and explains what is happening. At this age, it is important for a child to take initiative. Give more freedom of action.
4. The school stage, the period from 6 to 15 years, is the most important in the formation of a teenager’s self-esteem. In the school process, hard work and achieving significant results are important. If at this age a child does not integrate into society, his self-esteem is low, and this negatively affects the learning process. The child becomes withdrawn and unsure of himself. Apathy may appear and interest in what you love may fade. Therefore, it is extremely important to support your child at any stage of life, to show care and love.

Dynamics of self-esteem.

The most obvious changes are in the content side of adolescents' self-esteem. This is explained by the fact that it is during this period, quite short in duration, that there is a sharp transition from a fragmented and insufficiently clear vision of oneself to a relatively complete, all-encompassing self-concept. Thus, the number of qualities that an older teenager recognizes in himself is twice as large as that of younger schoolchildren. When assessing themselves, high school students are already able to cover almost all aspects of their own personality - their self-esteem is becoming more and more generalized. In addition, their judgment regarding their shortcomings also improves. Adolescents' judgments about themselves convey a bright background to their mood, a feeling of the joy of being. Teenagers reveal themselves in categories that reflect their educational activities, favorite activities, interests, and hobbies. They are focused on ideal self-esteem, but the gap between their real and ideal self-esteem is not traumatic for many of them. Various studies have noted that the content of adolescents’ self-esteem is dominated by basic moral traits - kindness, honesty, justice. A fairly high level of self-criticism among adolescents allows them to recognize many negative qualities in themselves and realize the need to get rid of them.

Borderline disorders are initial (initial) forms of mental abnormalities in which there is no pathological deformation of personality. “Borderline consciousness” - changes in consciousness associated with borderline mental disorders. Ambivalence is an internally contradictory emotional state or experience associated with an ambivalent attitude towards something, characterized by simultaneous acceptance and rejection. So, the most significant and well-recognized qualities of your “I?” For a high school student, communication, volitional and intellectual qualities are important, which allows us to consider them as the basis for a teenager’s value-based attitude towards himself. In this case, self-knowledge, the formation of self-esteem, self-respect are carried out primarily under the influence of those people from the circle of closest contacts who are understood by him as bearers of precisely these qualities, developed at the standard level. The content of girls' self-esteem concerns to a greater extent the awareness and assessment of their relationships with other people. The dynamics of value judgments from adolescence to adolescence is that the value judgments of adolescents, determined by the expected assessment from peers, are aimed primarily at finding an answer to the question of how he is among others, how similar he is to them. For young men, value judgments determined by their own ideal are aimed at finding an answer to the question of what he is like in the eyes of others, how different he is from them and how close he is to his ideal. Later, the self-esteem judgments of young people are determined by the synthesis of various types of assessments of others, the results of their activities, and are aimed at finding their significance for others and for themselves.

How do parents influence their children's self-esteem?

Responsive and loving parents help the child develop with normal self-esteem. And negative relationships in the family give rise to uncertainty and isolation: the child becomes fixated on his failures, becomes suspicious, and sometimes displays aggression and anxiety.

When forming a teenager’s self-esteem, the style of communication within the family is important:

• Symmetrical - all family members interact with each other on equal terms. In such a family, the child considers himself important, his opinion is taken into account in all situations. The child forms his own criteria for evaluating his actions based on his parents’ assessments.
• Asymmetrical - the child is practically not allowed to participate in decision making. This model creates a negative perception of one’s own self.

It is important to understand that a child is also a member of the family. He has his own opinion on the situation or action addressed to him. It is worth taking into account the child’s opinion in matters that concern him indirectly or directly. You should not neglect the child’s words, as he may feel useless and withdraw into himself even more.

Emancipation of self-esteem

One of the main features characterizing the self-esteem of adolescents is the ever-deepening emancipation of their self-esteem, that is, the desire of adolescents to form their self-esteem regardless of the assessments of other people. Without disputing this position, it should still be recognized that a person is always in various kinds of social interactions and it is impossible for him to avoid a certain dependence on the assessment of his immediate environment. Development of self-esteem in the process of communication The repeatedly proven theory of the “mirror self” by C. Cooley about the positive attitude of significant others as one of the main determinants of the level of self-esteem is also true for the self-esteem of adolescents.

Among the four sources of social support: parents, teachers, classmates, close friends, parental support and the attitude of classmates most fully influence a teenager’s self-esteem.

How to improve low self-esteem in a teenager?

1. Do not criticize your child - it is important for a teenager to hear about his strengths. Don't dwell on his failures.
2. Give your child compliments - appearance is very important during adolescence. If a child has acne, you should not transfer everything to adolescence - it is better to consult a specialist to find out the cause and choose treatment tactics. Or, for example, make an appointment with a stylist to choose fashionable clothes or change your hairstyle.
3. Support, praise and pamper - say that you are proud of your child, emphasize his results, set him up in a positive way: “You will succeed, I believe in you” - the child will be very happy to hear this from his beloved parents.
4. Show your child your self-confidence - children often look up to their parents, so show your child what kind of person you are: strong, confident, friendly.

A parent must convey two important messages to their child: “I’m cool” and “You’re cool too. Even a little better than me."

1. Expand your child’s social circle – discuss his interests with the teenager and sign him up for clubs or a sports section. Perhaps at school not all the kids develop friendly relations. And in the new team, the child will show his abilities and look at himself from a different perspective. The larger the social circle, the better the child’s talents and abilities are revealed.
2. Teach to say “no” - often children with low self-esteem are used for selfish purposes. Such children do not like to refuse, because this is how they feel important. The child should be able to determine for what purpose he is being asked to help? You need to teach your child to say “no” to all ill-wishers. This is an important skill: “the ability to say no and assert your boundaries.”

Top 10 Books for Teen Self-Esteem

When should you contact a psychologist?

Adolescence is an important and difficult period of personality development. Changes occur, both physical and psychological. The child is in search of ideals, achieves new goals, and sets priorities.

It is necessary to prevent low self-esteem against the background of so-called “shortcomings” and fictitious complexes. If you don’t cope with the problem in time, the imprint can be left for life: self-doubt prevents you from realizing your abilities.

It is important that parents give support to the child to create good conditions to achieve results. If parents understand that they cannot help their child on their own, then it is necessary to consult a psychologist for advice.

Two additional tools to influence self-esteem

How else can you increase a teenager's self-esteem?

As we have already found out, our self-esteem is significantly influenced by our skills and abilities. Therefore, boys and girls need to learn something new. For example, quickly typing blindly, using all the fingers of both hands, texts on a computer keyboard, or soulfully playing the guitar. Or just set yourself an easier goal and just read a book that is useful for yourself.

Of course, good books bring knowledge that allows us to move through life more confidently.

Self-esteem is also closely related to the concept of independence. And here you can also prove yourself by putting your clothes in the closet without reminders, tidying up your room, preparing dinner or making some other pleasant surprise for your parents.

Summarizing…

Low self-esteem in adolescents negatively affects their position in society and can cause isolation, misunderstanding, and conflicts in the family and in the team. An inferiority complex prevents children from developing and achieving their goals.

The child needs to be helped to form a positive opinion about himself. A teenager must understand that he is loved, valued, and respected. This will help you adapt to difficult social conditions, not lose yourself and move on to success. With low self-esteem, a teenager begins to find obstacles everywhere and see negativity where there is none.

If you are faced with the problem of low self-esteem in a teenager and understand that you need help to overcome it, you can turn to psychologists at our Center for help. The studio of practical psychology "Empathy" has been specializing in psychological assistance and support for adolescents for many years. Our group classes are designed in such a way as to help a teenager find himself and become more confident in this difficult period of life. MORE DETAILS

You can also sign up for an individual consultation with a psychologist. MORE.

Physical appearance and self-esteem

The need to reconstruct the bodily image of the Self, the construction of a male or female “tribal” identity and the gradual transition to adult genital sexuality are among the main tasks of the period of pubertal development. These tasks largely determine the development of adolescents’ self-concept, and in particular their self-esteem. During this age period, another person begins to occupy a very special place in the life of a teenager. This is related to the specificity of adolescents’ perception of the physical appearance of other people. And through the perception and understanding of another, a teenager comes to understand himself. In this case, the same sequence is maintained as in the knowledge of the qualities of another, i.e., first, purely external, physical characteristics are highlighted, then qualities associated with the performance of any type of activity, and finally personal qualities, more hidden properties of the inner world.

Scientists' opinion According to V.N. Kunitsina, in the image of a perceived person of any age, the main things for a teenager are physical features, elements of appearance, then clothing and hairstyle and expressive behavior. With age, the volume and adequacy of the assessed signs increase; the range of categories and concepts used is expanding; categorical judgments decrease and greater flexibility and versatility appear; in the physical appearance of another person, his clothes, hairstyle, signs begin to be noted that reflect character, originality, individuality, uniqueness. A teenager’s perception of other people can be determined by both objective and subjective factors: the nature of the emotional attitude towards the perceived person, the degree of development of the teenager’s cognitive abilities, his mental development, emotional and mental state and past experience. The attitude to perceive other people in a certain way can also be determined by the individual characteristics of a teenager, the influence of group opinion and stereotypes that have developed in society (Kunitsina V.N., 1968). It has been experimentally proven that the perception of the physical appearance of another person in the mind of a teenager is then transferred to the teenager’s perception of himself. Thus, it is precisely during this age period, when the most important transformations occur in the body, when the appearance of a teenager and his physical features begin to greatly excite the teenager, then the compliance of the child’s physical development with the standards accepted in his peer group becomes a determining factor in his social recognition and position. in Group. Awareness of the features of one's appearance also influences the formation of many important personality traits in a teenager (for example, self-confidence, cheerfulness, isolation, individualism). Sex differences . Starting from adolescence, girls' overall self-esteem is significantly lower than that of boys, and this trend is directly related to self-esteem of appearance. A number of studies have found that girls' self-concept correlates more strongly with assessments of the attractiveness of their body than with assessments of its effectiveness. For young men, on the contrary, the leading criterion of self-esteem is the efficiency of the body. This dependence is largely explained by the social role functions of men and women. But at the same time, it is necessary to take into account the mechanisms of social reinforcement derived from existing stereotypes, which are also supported by the media.

What should a parent do to ensure that their child has adequate self-esteem?

There are a few basic rules. First, when discussing a child's performance, compare his performance to his previous experiences, not to other children, siblings, yourself, or anyone else. The comparison should always be made with him in the past. “This week you got two Cs, and last week you had four. You did well and tried your best.”

Secondly, do not use generalizations and criticize not the child, but his actions. When parents are annoyed, they often use the following formulations: “You’re so inattentive, you’re losing everything,” or “What a slob you are: you’ve scattered everything.” Children remember such assessments and believe that they are true.

There is a principle of feedback, in which when communicating with a child, you pay attention not to mistakes, but to successes. For example, you teach him to write letters. He wrote the entire alphabet, some of the letters turned out well, some not so much. What do parents usually do? They point out the bad letters and ask them to rewrite them. Or you can ask: “Which letters turned out best and do you like best?” Together, choose them with your child and then invite them to write the rest just as carefully.

SELF-ESTEEM PROBLEMS IN ADOLESCENCE

SELF-ESTEEM PROBLEMS IN ADOLESCENCE

Adolescence is one of the most important years in personality development. At this age, the formation of a worldview and picture of the world, the formation of the most important mechanisms for regulating a person’s full life activity, and, above all, self-esteem, self-identification, the formation of self-awareness, the perception of moral norms and values. During school years, there is an active search for the meaning of life - new formations are formed that ensure psychological readiness for self-determination. However, school education often stands aside from solving these problems, since the education of schoolchildren in a traditional school is mainly aimed at mastering a certain amount of knowledge in individual disciplines that have little connection with each other and with the life tasks of a teenager.

During this period, it is especially important to create conditions for a teenager to form an adequate, full-fledged, socially active personality that has its own dignity and is aware of its self-worth - a personality with adequate self-esteem. Self-esteem largely determines social personality and is directly related to the process of social adaptation and maladaptation of the individual.

Social competence is a complex concept, which is understood as: the degree of adequacy and effectiveness of responding to problematic life situations, achieving real goals in a special social context, using suitable methods for this and positive development as a result of activity. “Confirmation by others of the adequacy of the subject’s social behavior, his ability to participate in a complex system of interpersonal relationships and to successfully understand other people.”

An integral part of social competence is self-esteem. Self-esteem is how a person evaluates himself, his capabilities, and his actions. We constantly compare ourselves with others and, based on this comparison, we develop an opinion about ourselves, about our capabilities and abilities, our character traits and human qualities. This is how our self-esteem gradually develops. There are people with low, high and adequate self-esteem. The most adequate attitude towards oneself is the highest level of self-esteem. Without this, it is very difficult to define yourself in life.

Adolescence is one of the most important years in personality development. At this age, the formation of a worldview and picture of the world, the formation of the most important mechanisms for regulating a person’s full life activity, and, above all, self-esteem. As well as self-identification, the formation of moral norms and values.

Teenagers strive to enter adulthood as quickly as possible, they want to have all the privileges of adults, to get rid of parental care, but at the same time they are completely unprepared for independent life. They don’t understand that for the privileges of adults they have to pay with increased responsibility for their actions. They are in a hurry to gain their life experience. Physiologically, some teenagers, especially girls, even at the age of 15 are already ready to enter into intimate relationships with the opposite sex. They consciously do this, often not understanding the responsibility they have as a result, not only for their own lives, but for the lives of their future children.

Students at our education center come to study with us at the age of 12 years and older. As a rule, these are children with deviant behavior and weak motivation to learn. Most of our students live in single-parent families, many of them are registered with the police. This category of adolescents is characterized by inadequate self-esteem. Despite the fact that our students were not successful in their previous place of study, they generally have high self-esteem. Some of them have severely low self-esteem. It is difficult to say which of these extremes causes more harm to the development of a teenager’s personality.

As a result of a survey conducted among students in grades 8-9, it was revealed that most of them - 62% - have inflated self-esteem, a smaller part - 35% - have low self-esteem, and only 3% of students have self-esteem close to adequate.

If a teenager's self-esteem is low, this leads to self-doubt, timidity and lack of daring, and the inability to realize their abilities. This assessment is manifested in statements like: “I will never succeed in this”, “I will not be able to learn this”, “It’s not my fault that...”, etc. Low self-esteem leads to many reasons: lack of parental attention, indifference from on the part of adults, or the other extreme – overprotection, constant criticism, inflated demands on the child. All of this undermines the development of a healthy sense of self-worth. Such students often try to compensate for their complexes with increased aggressiveness, demonstrative behavior, and the use of alcohol and psychoactive substances.

Teenagers with high self-esteem believe that after graduating from school they will go to college or institute, and then they will be able to work as managers of enterprises, or will have their own business. Some seriously suggest that education is completely useless. They are confident that even without education they will be able to successfully run their business, receiving a salary of at least 40-50 thousand rubles per month. For less, in their words, they are not ready to work. Perhaps this is bravado, but when they are offered a real job through a youth labor exchange, upon hearing the proposed salary level (6-8 thousand rubles), they immediately refuse this job. Thus, after finishing their studies, many of our students, faced with reality, get lost and cannot find themselves in this life.

It turns out that at 17-18 years old they still have little idea of ​​where they could work, in what specialty and what kind of salary they could receive for it. Many of them do not know where their parents work or what exactly they do at work. But they have a good idea of ​​what brand of car they want to have, what model of iPad to buy, what club to go to on vacation. The situation is worse when it comes to building a real model in your head for achieving these goals. Some, having never found a legal way to get what they want, take the path of crime. This is a quick, albeit not safe, way for them to satisfy their needs. Many of the students have never done any work and do not even have responsibilities at home. A player, a computer, a telephone are the objects that they have learned to handle perfectly.

Some of our students quite seriously consider it their life’s goal to marry a very wealthy man, preferably an oligarch. But when you start asking them how they are going to achieve their goal, they get lost. Simple question: where are you going to meet the oligarch? Baffles them. They don’t think about the ratio between the number of oligarchs and girls dreaming of marrying them. Girls consider the main condition for success to look good and be beautifully dressed.

Inflated self-esteem leads to unreasonable self-confidence. Such a person often ignores failures in order to maintain the usual high assessment of himself, his actions and deeds. Fair comments are perceived by such people as nit-picking, and an objective assessment of work results as unfairly underestimated. Failures appear as a consequence of someone’s machinations or unfavorable circumstances that are in no way dependent on the actions of the individual himself.

A teenager needs to have a positive self-image, which is an indispensable condition for happiness and the ability to adapt to changing social conditions. If a child has negative self-esteem, then he is able to find insurmountable obstacles in almost every task. The exam situation for such teenagers turns out to be simply catastrophic. The role of the family in the formation of a student’s positive self-esteem is important here. In the student body, at school, and especially in the family, every teenager should be the center of attention, then he will have adequate self-esteem.

The formation of adequate self-esteem largely depends on a fair assessment of parents, teachers, and classmates. It is important to help the student believe in himself, in his capabilities, in his worth. The main role in this, of course, is the parents, but not all of them are ready for this role, and then the teacher comes to the fore. Often it is with us that the child shares his successes and failures, so we must support him by forming an adequate positive self-esteem.

One of the ways to form adequate self-esteem in students is to participate in various social projects and business games.

— in the course of working on social projects, students develop skills of social behavior, the ability to communicate with adults, and conduct dialogue.

— work with official documents, defend your opinion, develop teamwork skills;

— attention is drawn to current social problems of the city and surrounding people;

— children are involved in real practical activities.

Advice for parents and teachers interested in developing adequate self-esteem in a teenager

• Don’t protect your teenager from serious matters; let him make his own decisions. Don’t try to solve all life’s problems for him. But don’t set him impossible tasks that he’s simply not mature enough to complete.
• Give your child the right to choose.
• Don't overpraise your teenager, but don't forget to reward him when he deserves it.
• Encourage initiative.
• Don't compare one child to another. Compare him with himself (what he was yesterday or will be tomorrow).
• Don't be afraid to show your children your love!