Low self-esteem: causes, external signs, ways to increase self-esteem and advice from a psychologist

September 10, 2018
Self-esteem
M-aria Shh

“I’m worse than others,” “I won’t succeed,” “I don’t deserve it.” Such phrases are uttered by people with low self-esteem. Life is not easy for them, because self-doubt leaves a negative imprint on all aspects of life. The publication talks about the signs, causes, consequences and ways to increase low self-esteem.

What do you mean by low self-esteem?

First, it’s worth understanding what self-esteem is. This is a person’s assessment of his own qualities (both strengths and weaknesses) and the idea of his importance in relation to others. Self-esteem is extremely important for full functioning in society and achieving various goals: family happiness, material well-being, success and self-realization.

What does low self-esteem mean? This is an underestimation of one’s merits, capabilities and personal qualities. Such people believe that they have no right to happiness, so they blindly inferior to others in everything. They always doubt, are constantly disappointed and are engaged in soul-searching. Usually an eventful and vibrant life passes by. To prevent this, it is necessary to engage in self-improvement.

How self-esteem is formed

Self-esteem is influenced by three main factors: upbringing, physical characteristics and a person’s environment.

Upbringing

Adequate assessment of your child

The foundations of self-esteem are laid in childhood. If parents adequately assess their child, his abilities and talents, everything will be fine with self-esteem. But often the older generation goes too far.

The most common mistake that moms and dads make is constantly comparing the child with more successful peers. The famous meme about the son of his mother’s friend did not appear out of nowhere.

There are a lot of variations of this meme, but the essence is the same: the son of his mother’s friend is always better

When comparisons are not in a child’s favor, he begins to develop complexes and self-esteem naturally falls. Parents want the best and sincerely believe that in this way they motivate their child.

By the way, it is not even necessary to compare the child with anyone. Excessive criticism with or without reason works on its own. But the trick is that the “nothing good will come of you” format as a motivation for achievements does not work, but only makes things worse. After all, as parents think: “I will tell the child that he is not capable of anything, and he, all so motivated, will begin to prove the opposite to me and move mountains.”

I assure you, it will not collapse. You will simply completely kill both self-esteem and the desire to do something. Why, if you still can’t please your parents? Dear moms and dads, children at this age need support and wise advice, not criticism. Yes, there are children who achieve a lot in defiance of their parents. But, firstly, such people are in the minority, and secondly, do you need your child to become successful in spite of mom and dad? A dubious story, you will agree.

The other extreme is to praise the child for trivial achievements and extol his talents. This is a sure way to high self-esteem. If you convince your child that he can be given the title of Hero of Russia for preparing his own breakfast, nothing good will come of it. Not only that, you are simply misleading him. The danger is that sooner or later life will show that the so-called talents are rubbish.

In short, you need to evaluate the child adequately: not over-praise, but also not criticize without a good reason.

Parental support

A very important point in building self-esteem is your parental support. Never shame your child in front of other people, even if he is guilty. He should feel that you are on his side, even if the child made a mistake.

For example, you were called to school. There is no need to scold him in front of the teacher: “Well, shame on you!” Be sure to talk about what happened, but only in private. Find out the reasons for the child’s bad behavior and listen to his explanations. Trust him. And only then make a decision on punishment.

Parental support is very important in building self-esteem

Physical characteristics of the child

A beauty is always (or almost always) more confident in herself than a gray mouse. But in general, both will not have critical problems with self-esteem, which cannot be said about children with various deviations from the norm.

We are not even talking about congenital pathologies here: for the development of low self-esteem, excess weight, poor vision (the child wears glasses), speech defects (lisp, burr) and even short stature are enough. Even if mom and dad support the child and don’t pay attention to the shortcomings, he may get the worst of it from society. Such children are often teased in kindergarten or school, they are given offensive nicknames, and even humiliated. Self-esteem in this case flies into the abyss at the speed of a Boeing.

What to do? There are two ways:

Try to eliminate deviations if possible. You can adjust your weight by contacting a nutritionist or endocrinologist, an ophthalmologist will help improve your vision, and so on.
Develop your child's talents to make him self-confident. Give him to the sports section, enroll him in a creative circle. The child will begin to make progress and self-esteem will increase. And charismatic and confident children are respected by their peers.

Environment

Self-esteem is also influenced by a person’s environment. If you have gathered people around you who do not respect you, assert themselves at your expense, and belittle your dignity, this will definitely affect your self-esteem, and not in the best way. Toxic relationships can be in the family, at work, in a circle of interests, and so on.

Consequences of low self-esteem

Low self-esteem forces a person to think a lot, doubt and make wrong decisions. In most cases, such people fail to reach their full potential due to the fact that they cannot adequately analyze their capabilities. Psychologists also believe that this is the main reason for financial insolvency. If you lack self-confidence, it will seem that high earnings are impossible. What can we say about starting your own business? Such thoughts doom you to be poor. The result is a feeling of meaninglessness, depression and an inferiority complex. These are the consequences of low self-esteem.

First of all, you need to love yourself. This means that you need to accept your personality with all its flaws and shortcomings that everyone has. Self-confident individuals differ from eternally doubting people in that they see not only disadvantages in themselves, but also advantages. At the same time, they know how to present themselves to others in a positive way. If you don’t love yourself, then others definitely won’t love you. In addition, a person instinctively prefers to communicate with successful and positive-minded individuals.

You rely on other people to make you feel better

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Low self-esteem often manifests itself as a constant search for support.

When we feel bad, we want to feel better. When we worry, we want to know that everything will be fine. When we are sad, we want to feel happier and more energetic. Unfortunately, many people become accustomed to relying on the words of others to restore their emotional well-being. And this is a problem because relying on others for emotional support ultimately leads to emotional fragility.

Yes, everyone needs the support of loved ones. But when you rely completely on it, you give up the opportunity to practice these important skills on your own. Result: low confidence in your ability to cope with stressful situations and problems. And heaps of low self-esteem.

Remember: there is nothing wrong with asking for support when you really need it. But it is unwise to rely on it all the time.

Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem

As a rule, people who lack self-confidence are easily recognized by their external signs. They usually exhibit the following qualities.

Constant indecision, which is associated with the fear of making a mistake.
Passionate desire to please in order to fit into the team and feel a sense of belonging to the group.
At the same time, hostility towards others and envy of others' successes appears.
Pathological jealousy. Moreover, destructive feelings can arise not only towards a partner, but also towards friends.

Also, low self-esteem is revealed by the manner of speech. How does this manifest itself?

Notes of a negative worldview and pessimism may creep into the conversation.
Excessive self-criticism. A person constantly mentions his shortcomings and the fact that he is not satisfied with himself.
People with low self-esteem take a defensive position in conversations and always look for excuses for their actions, even without obvious reasons. This usually looks like an excuse to yourself.
There is a dependence on the opinions of others and a negative attitude towards criticism addressed to oneself. Moreover, even any phrase of the interlocutor can be interpreted as a claim or insult.

You are too critical of others

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Excessive criticism of others is a primitive strategy for boosting one's own ego.

Of course, sometimes each of us needs to think critically. But there is a big difference between critical thinking and criticism: useful criticism makes the world a better place. And useless - makes the person who criticize feel better.

People with low self-esteem find it difficult to feel good about themselves. This means that sometimes they have a habit of criticizing others in order to make themselves look better in comparison to them. For example, when you criticize someone's opinion for stupidity, you thereby emphasize that you are smarter - this is how you assert yourself.

The problem is that criticizing others as a way to increase self-esteem is a temporary phenomenon. And after that you usually feel even worse than before. If you tend to be overly critical of others, ask yourself: When I criticize others, am I genuinely trying to help or do I just want to feel better?

Reasons for low self-esteem

There are many factors that influence a person’s attitude towards himself. Psychologists identify several main ones. These are genetic characteristics, position in society and external data. They can influence personality development separately or in combination. Next, we will consider several main reasons for low self-esteem in women and men.

Homework

Each of us has our own set of personal qualities, individual experience, and knowledge.
Everyone perceives the world in their own special way. Taken together, this creates a unique pattern of behavior, a unique personality. - To notice your exclusivity and rejoice in it, remember and write down everything that you like about yourself, starting with your appearance: blue or brown eyes, tall stature or, conversely, miniature, and continuing with the character traits that you are proud of, and any others pleasant little things: “I’m a good cook” or “I’m a reliable friend.” The list may be long, but don’t hesitate to include even the smallest achievements in it - be it winning a physics Olympiad in the 10th grade or helping a loved one in a difficult situation. After all, this is your story of victories, from which it is easier to build on and begin to believe in yourself. It is better to keep the list in a visible place, for example, attach it to the refrigerator door or store it on a shelf in the bedroom, re-reading it in the morning as a setting for the coming day, and also before going to bed to reinforce it.

- advises the psychologist.

To regain a positive attitude towards yourself and your achievements, you can turn to the “action - result - reward” scheme. It’s better to start with the simplest things: making an important call at work or cleaning the apartment - praising yourself or encouraging yourself. The reward can be anything, from buying rolls to watching an interesting movie.

The main thing is to reward yourself so that you feel pleasure and pride in the achievement. Try regularly, several times a day, to praise and reward yourself for your actions and completed tasks. It's like learning something all over again: a child doesn't start walking in one day, so you shouldn't expect a fantastic change in self-esteem in a matter of weeks. But a month or two of constant practice brings noticeable changes.

Family education

Self-esteem directly depends on the correct upbringing in the family. If parents do not encourage their child from infancy, but, on the contrary, only scold him and constantly compare him with others, then this will negatively affect his mental development. A grown-up child will not love himself - for this there simply will be no soil on which faith in his own abilities is based. Also, a decrease in self-esteem is affected by parental criticism of any actions, initiatives and undertakings of the child. A person who was constantly reprimanded in childhood, even in adulthood, subconsciously continues to excessively avoid mistakes.

Psychologists' studies show that self-esteem is higher in the only child and first-born children. In other children, “junior syndrome” can often be observed. It arises due to the fact that parents compare their older and younger children with each other.

In order for a child to develop adequate self-esteem, the mother must communicate calmly, and the father must be authoritative, demanding, but always fair. Every child needs unobtrusive encouragement and approval. It is enough to praise your child a couple of times for a carefully drawn picture or a correctly completed homework, and self-esteem will increase, at least a little.

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3) You choose a toxic relationship

There is always a choice in life! Take action or run away. Farewell or revenge. Love it or hate it. But don't be idle!
Bernard Werber

You live with a person who cheats on you, beats you, drinks, extracts money from you, uses you, criticizes you, wipes his feet on you (underline as appropriate). The worst thing is that you endure all this. It has become your habit. This is the norm. And soon this will become the norm for your children.

Or maybe you think that there is simply nothing to love you for?

If you want to figure out how to get out of a toxic relationship, read my article here .

Failures in childhood

This is another common reason for low self-esteem. It is clear that no one is immune from failures, but the attitude towards them is important. If the event was very traumatic, this is often reflected in the psyche in the form of decreased self-esteem and a guilt complex. For example, children often reproach themselves because of their parents' divorce or their frequent quarrels. This feeling of guilt is transformed in the future into constant doubts and inability to make a decision. All negative, harmless events in childhood are perceived as serious global problems. For example, an adult athlete, having taken not first, but second place in a competition, will continue to train with triple strength. The baby may experience severe discomfort, even to the point of receiving psychological trauma, especially if the parents did not show proper understanding of the situation.

Low self-esteem occurs in childhood due to many reasons. Most often these are failures, mistakes, ridicule from peers and careless remarks from adults (primarily parents). As a result, in adolescence, the child has already clearly formed the opinion that he is unlucky, bad and inferior. As a result, an unjustified feeling of guilt for one’s own actions appears.

Who is susceptible

Self-doubt can be clearly seen in teenagers. This condition is typical for age-related crises.

The teenager is still a schoolboy. His time is occupied with study and relationships with friends, but the first changes in his internal position are observed, manifestations of low self-esteem appear. The desire to establish a student’s personality and position causes acute internal conflict, which affects the child’s behavior and self-esteem. The situation is aggravated by increasing tension with parents and quarrels with friends.

The problem affects children living in families that prefer an authoritarian method of education.

There is a way to identify whether a child has problems seeing his own personality. To do this, you should conduct a self-esteem test for teenagers.

A simple way to determine low or high levels of confidence is to examine the position of the child's drawings on a piece of paper. If a boy or girl draws at the top of the sheet, then self-esteem is high, at the bottom - low, in the middle - the child adequately evaluates himself.

To determine the attitude towards oneself, a self-esteem test for children called “Ladder” is carried out. The sheet shows a ladder and 10 steps.

After this, they tell the child that bad children are on the lower steps, those who are a little better rise one step higher, and the best ones are at the top of the ladder. He must draw himself where he thinks he should stand.

The results are assessed as follows:

If the drawing is made at the level of 1-3 steps, then self-esteem is low.
The image on steps 4 to 7 indicates an adequate assessment and there is no need to worry.
If he portrayed himself at level 8-10, then he has high self-esteem.

The test will help to detect the symptoms of a problem in a child in time and find a way to solve it.

Social environment

This is a common cause of low self-esteem in women and men, even in adulthood. If you are constantly surrounded by people who do not have specific goals and desire for life, then you are unlikely to want internal transformations. Ambition and high self-esteem appear when there are role models. If all your acquaintances and friends prefer to live in the shadows, without showing any initiative, then you will most likely be satisfied with such an existence. But it is worth understanding that laziness and low self-esteem are continuously linked to each other. Therefore, it is worth thinking about whether we need such acquaintances who do not strive for anything, only complain about life, philosophize excessively for no reason and condemn others. Such people are considered energy vampires who hinder the awakening of true potential. As soon as you change your environment, your self-esteem will immediately increase. It is better to communicate with those who are successful, know how to earn money and enjoy life.

Divorce, breakup

Women experience divorce more acutely.

Studies by Western psychologists have revealed that every eighth woman attempts suicide after a divorce, and every fourth resorts to the services of a psychologist. More than half of divorced women fall into depression, which requires treatment with special medications.

In most cases, divorces are initiated by women, but they have a harder time dealing with the breakdown of relationships. The reason for such a drastic decision is often the betrayal of a husband or excessive jealousy of partners. For a man, divorce is freedom, an opportunity to meet other women, since by nature he is polygamous.

A woman feels empty after a divorce. Many people get rid of this feeling only years after the breakup. She feels unwanted, rejected, abandoned. This feeling is aggravated if the couple did not have children or they have already grown up.

Even self-confident women note that after a divorce for a long time they could not accept compliments addressed to them, considering them flattery and insincerity. Their self-esteem suffered noticeably when alone. To cope with depression, it is better to consult a psychologist. Using hypnosis, relaxation, and yoga techniques, a specialist will help you cope with stress.

Health problems and external defects

Self-esteem often decreases even in childhood if there are congenital diseases or defects in appearance. Even if the parents and the child behave correctly and correctly, the social environment can still have a negative impact on him. Moreover, the opinion of peers matters most. A typical example is overweight children, who are assigned offensive nicknames from kindergarten on. In such cases, low self-esteem is definitely guaranteed if measures are not taken in time. It is necessary to adequately assess the problem and try to get rid of existing shortcomings. If this is not possible for a number of reasons, then you will have to develop other qualities that will make a person more developed, self-confident and charismatic.

For example, what to do if a child has a complex because of excess weight or unattractive appearance? With a competent approach to developing his talents and abilities, you can turn a disadvantage into an advantage. Perhaps you should try yourself in sports (weightlifting, boxing or wrestling). With a specific appearance, there is a chance of becoming a sought-after artist or actor with a type that is characteristic only of him.

There are many stories of people with significant physical disabilities creating happy families and achieving worldwide recognition. A striking example is Nick Vujicic. He was born without legs and arms and, of course, had a very strong complex and even wanted to commit suicide. But in the end, his life was successful - he became a world famous motivational speaker, writer, philanthropist, and singer. Nick even managed to start a family - he has a wife and children.

As you can see, life does not end with low self-esteem. There are many techniques in psychology that help you feel more confident. Next, the most effective and reliable methods will be considered.

Levels

According to the psychodiagnostic scale, low self-esteem can be of three levels:

Below the average

When a person loses heart as a result of some minor everyday failures, but at the same time does not give up and continues to fight for a decent existence with all his complexes.

A low level of self-esteem is not always associated with objective external stimuli; it is often based on childhood complexes and social grievances, which leads to the aggravation of old fears and doubts and the formation of new ones.

Inadequate, very low

When virtues are denied and people refuse to move forward only because they are obviously sure of failure, they simply lose the meaning of life. They need psychological help, since they are the ones who may commit suicide or harm themselves.

Self-development

In almost any city you can find a psychologist who conducts events, seminars and trainings aimed at increasing self-esteem and teaching self-confidence. As practice shows, within just a few months a timid and indecisive individual becomes a strong-willed, purposeful and self-satisfied person. The main thing is to have a desire for change and an initial impulse.

Some people find it helpful to read good motivational literature. For example, this includes the following books: “Self-Esteem” by Brian Tracy, “How Much Are You Worth?” Sharon Wegshida-Cruz, Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, The Charm of Femininity by Helen Andelin.

Increased demands on yourself

A person who places high demands on himself expects more from others than they can give. Having not received what he wanted, he experiences disappointment and has a negative attitude towards the object of deceived expectations. Communication with him becomes strained or stops altogether.

More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.

Excessive demands lead to self-criticism and self-flagellation. The result is a decrease in self-esteem.

People who make deliberately high demands on themselves are not always socially successful. Among them are many alcoholics who are trying to perfect their drinking.

Change of environment

Since man is a social being, he is highly dependent on his environment. Therefore, it will have to be changed if you need to improve low self-esteem. As already mentioned, communicating with lazy, lethargic, unambitious and lacking initiative people leads to a lack of self-confidence and motivation in life.

Contact with prosperous and successful individuals will help you learn to value individuality, find purpose, treat your personal time differently, and achieve success. Self-respect and self-love will gradually return.

Negative experience

Even if in childhood the parents developed high self-esteem in the child, in adolescence he did not suffer from an inferiority complex, there is no guarantee that, as an adult, he will continue to value himself as well.

Are you ready to stop thinking about your problem and finally move on to real actions that will help you get rid of your problems once and for all? Then perhaps you will be interested in this article .

Episodes of life are different, sometimes a person is faced with negative experiences - unrequited love, betrayal of friends and loved ones, failures at work.

Leaving your comfort zone

This method involves performing new, unusual actions. At first it may seem that this is impossible and very difficult, and that the world outside your comfort zone is inhospitable and hostile. But over time, the understanding will come that this is real life, which is full of positive emotions and adventures. Constantly being in familiar conditions can be compared to an invisible cage, from which it is scary to get out just because it is familiar. You need to learn to leave your comfort zone and at the same time be balanced, calm and collected. This will help you gain a powerful incentive to raise even very low self-esteem.

What to do to get out of your comfort zone? We need to start small. For example, you can stop sitting at the computer after work and go jogging, meditation, yoga or strength training in the gym. You can set other goals - learn an unfamiliar language in six months or meet the opposite sex right today. It is clear that not everything will work out the first time. But positive impressions and increased self-esteem are definitely guaranteed.

Psychologists often recommend the following two exercises to help you get out of your comfort zone.

"Speaker for Life" Typically, people with low self-esteem are very afraid to speak in front of a large number of people. To get rid of this fear, you need to try to speak publicly as often as possible. If your boss at work asks you to prepare a presentation, go on a business trip to give a report, or organize an event, you should take the initiative and take on this function yourself.
"Clown". This exercise helps get rid of low self-esteem if you always feel like others are discussing you. The point is this. You need to look ridiculous (for example, wear a funny jacket, an oversized tie, or use curlers). After this, you need to go outside and behave as if this is your normal everyday appearance. Naturally, discomfort will be felt, but at the same time, dependence on surrounding opinion will decrease.

The exercises are based on the fact that atypical situations are perceived as normal over time, so they cease to cause stress. Psychologists say that the best way to deal with fear is to face it head on. And this is true, because this is how human psychology works. There is no other way to get rid of low self-esteem.

You are unwilling to set healthy boundaries

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Boundary problems are self-esteem problems in disguise.

Most of us know that it is important to set personal boundaries, especially when we have difficult people in our lives. The problem is that even if we set healthy boundaries, the hardest part is sticking to them.

If you don't set boundaries, it's because you value other people more than yourself. But here's the weird thing: if you find yourself in this position—where you don't have enough self-respect to enforce personal boundaries—the best way to start is to set healthy boundaries!

The trick is to start small and work your way up. Work on getting back the Starbucks coffee you didn't like, and later move on to saying no to your boss's request to work again on the weekend.

When you set healthy boundaries, you reinforce the belief that you are just as important as everyone else.

Refusal of self-flagellation

Self-esteem will not increase if you constantly overly criticize, blame yourself and reproach yourself for mistakes. If you stop doing this, you can immediately achieve several goals.

There will be free time that can be spent on family and more interesting activities.
An understanding will arise: “I am the one and only person on the planet.”
A vision of your positive qualities will appear. It’s better not to focus on the negative, but to purposefully work on developing your strengths.

In the end, any failures, disappointments and mistakes can be turned to your advantage by using them as life experience.

Concluding remarks on self-assessment

Each of us must continually work to maintain a positive and healthy self-image.

You will always have to change your self-esteem from negative to positive. This is your choice. Don't let others decide for you.

Take it into your own hands and other people's opinions will no longer torment you. Instead, you will begin to see yourself as healthy and positive. You deserve it. Start doing this today.

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Listening to Affirmations

This is a short phrase that represents a verbal formula. When repeated many times, an attitude is fixed in the subconscious that helps improve the psycho-emotional background. This is one of the effective ways to correct low self-esteem. It is important to formulate affirmations as a fait accompli. This forces a person to take them for granted and think accordingly. If you subconsciously want to be confident in yourself, then gradually you will become so.

Typical examples of af, “I am successful,” “Everything comes to me freely and effortlessly,” “I have everything I want,” “I am a strong woman,” “I am loved and respected.” These formulas need to be repeated out loud on your own throughout the day. You can also make a recording of motivating affirmations and listen to them on your player.

Betrayal of loved ones

Betrayal is not only physical betrayal. Its sophisticated forms are less noticeable, but no less cruel. Having encountered at least one of them in the past, a person stops trusting others and looks for flaws in himself.

Types of betrayal that reduce self-esteem:

False responsibility. “I’m with you because it’s convenient for me.” In such relationships, partners do not know each other’s real plans and goals, preferring to be deceived than to separate. There is no intimacy in such relationships.
Platonic connection - at work, in a common company. Emotional betrayal is worse than physical betrayal, as it is usually difficult to end the relationship.
A lie for the sake of salvation, to maintain peace in the family. The partner suppresses information so as not to cause a violent reaction.
Contempt. It manifests itself in harsh criticism, nagging or sarcasm, and the desire to humiliate the dignity of a partner. Disrespect kills love.
Failure to fulfill promises. Frustrated expectations provoke conflict and cause a feeling of devastation.

If a person has encountered one type of betrayal in the past, it will be difficult for him to trust someone again. Suspicion and suspicion lower the self-esteem of the person who has been betrayed.

Keeping a diary of achievements

Such a diary is a powerful stimulating tool that makes you believe in yourself. It clearly shows what has been achieved in a short period of time. It needs to be maintained daily, and summed up every week or month. They will prove that achievements really exist, and low self-esteem will rise.

You need to record any, even minor, successes and victories in your diary. To make it more clear what we are talking about, here are a few examples:

Earnings were 5% more than last month.
Went to bed and woke up on time (as planned).
I wanted to buy junk food, but I resisted.
Pleased your loved one.
I took my grandmother across the road.

Little things like this are considered personal successes, so they definitely need to be recorded in your diary. If you record at least 3 achievements a day, then in a month that will already be 90 victories! And this is not so little.

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2) You are stressed and stop focusing on the present moment

Your brain is like a washing machine—it spins about 60,000 thoughts through your head every day. And unfortunately, you usually end up throwing something negative into your “wash.” These could be your worries about the past or worries about the future.

Sometimes you think about good things, for example, about your goals and plans. But then your “rinse mode” turns on again, and you go back to memories. You are bubbling around in your head with fears, thoughts about past failures and feelings of guilt.

Surprisingly, only people think according to this principle. Compared to us, animals are always in the moment - “here and now.”

For example, a lion. He has eaten and is fast asleep. When a lion is full, he is absolutely happy. He doesn’t think: “God, how I screwed up when I didn’t catch an antelope the day before yesterday! How the flock looked at me! I'm just a loser! What will my lion cubs eat tomorrow? What if I don’t catch anyone tomorrow? I'll screw it up again! What will the pack think of me? No, I’m definitely a loser!”

Do you find it funny? Me too.

Or an antelope. When a lion is chasing her, her brain gives the order to release an infernal amount of stress hormones - adrenaline - into her blood. This helps the antelope to run very quickly. But as soon as the chase is over, literally within a couple of minutes the antelope is calmly chewing grass. Understand? She doesn’t go on a binge for six months because of the stress she has experienced. She's just chewing grass.

So why do you keep falling out of the present moment? You spin negative thoughts in your head so often that you have become addicted to stress.

It makes no difference to your brain whether you think about the past or the present. The stress hormone is released in any case if you think about something negative.

The stress hormone spreads throughout your body, and your health is destroyed from constant “rinsing of negativity.”

But when you are in the moment, here and now, you automatically pull yourself out of negative experiences. Being in the moment is good for your health. Think about it.

In the meantime, let's move on to the third indicator of low self-esteem.

Important tips from psychologists

If self-esteem is too low, then it is better to seek help from a specialist. Great results can be achieved through individual consultations. And so, psychologists usually give simple advice to people who lack self-confidence:

Don't compare yourself to others.
Don't criticize yourself.
Communicate with positive people.
Act, rather than think about action.
Do what you like and what works for you.
Keep a diary of achievements.
Self-development both spiritually and physically.

It is quite possible to improve low self-esteem. The main thing is to have a great desire to change and take steps towards self-improvement.

You find it difficult to accept compliments

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Difficulty accepting compliments is another sign of low self-esteem.

If compliments make you feel uncomfortable or disgusted, it's likely a sign that you either don't think you deserve them or are worried that other people will think badly of you if you do. But if you don't respect yourself enough or you respect other people's opinions too much, the end result is the same: low self-esteem.

A good compliment is a healthy respect for yourself and the opinions of others.

Luckily, taking compliments well is something you can practice and improve your results as a result. Instead of making excuses or belittling your accomplishments, try to accept a compliment as simply as smiling and saying “thank you.” The more you practice, the more you will begin to believe that you are truly worthy of all the good words addressed to you.

An accepted compliment is a vote of confidence in yourself.

You are obsessed with your relationship

Feeling unworthy means that you essentially exist in an emotionally impoverished state. Deep down, you consider yourself unworthy of being treated well. And you are afraid that others will inevitably discover your secret, flawed nature.

So, you work overtime to protect and strengthen the relationships you have. Small conflicts or disagreements cause you disproportionate pain. When there are awkward or difficult times in a relationship, even if they are really minor, you feel like your whole world is falling apart. This is a sign of low self-love. Therefore, you work diligently to ensure that difficulties never arise, and you are engaged in the formation of what does not exist. You back down too easily, take responsibility for what is outside your zone, and are always the first to make concessions, asking for forgiveness even for things for which you are completely innocent.

You are chronically indecisive

You rarely feel like you know exactly what to do. Instead, you doubt yourself, analyze and carefully weigh all your life decisions. In addition, you constantly ask other people around you for their opinions and are overly dependent on their approval of your actions and encouragement in your endeavors. Sometimes you see that your decisions do not accurately reflect who you are, but your fear of making a mistake keeps you stuck to that model. Ask yourself if you are able to make an important decision on your own, without asking anyone around (of course, if this decision does not affect others in any way). For example, what car should you buy?

If you recognize yourself in all four descriptions, or even in one, this means that you need to work on your self-esteem and you need to start with self-acceptance and love. A professional psychologist will help you in this work, he will give you techniques, exercises, you may have to find the roots of what is happening in childhood and work on negative attitudes that prevent you from perceiving yourself adequately. In the Helppoint online service you can find a good psychologist - an algorithm will select him for you according to your request, and you can communicate with him online, when it is convenient for you, at any time and anywhere via chat or video communication. It won’t take much time to lay the foundation of self-love, and the results will amaze you. Don't put off getting to know your true beautiful self.

Author: Editorial staff of the Help-Point.net portal

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Tags: mental illness symptoms of schizophrenia diagnosis self-esteem motivation approval

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