ᐉ How to forget a married man and survive the pain of separation. How to stop loving a married man: let go and... live your own life

Hi all! Every person wants to meet a loved one in their life with whom it will be warm and cozy. In some cases, a woman can meet this same soul mate in the person of a married man, and what should she do then?

First of all, stealing a lover from a family he has already built is immoral and immoral, but suddenly, between a girl and a married man, there really are sincere and strong feelings, which pushes them to create a relationship with each other. According to statistics, this kind of relationship does not last long, and the woman begins to reproach herself for her feelings. How to forget the married man you love and stop feeling the mental pain tearing you apart...

How to forget a married man once and for all

Surely now you regret that you once decided to have a relationship with a married man. Of course, this is immoral and wrong, but sometimes you can’t order your heart - a relationship begins, you are together for some time, but at some point you realize that this cannot continue. He does not leave the family, and you are tired of waiting and decided to end this relationship. What to do?

First, understand that if a man has not left the family and remains married to her, then most likely everything is serious with them and he values his wife and family, no matter how painful it may be for you.

There is a fairly effective, but stressful and cruel method - to see the happiness of your beloved married man. It is not necessary to communicate with him. You can simply go to where your loved one often goes with his wife and children.

Look at how he behaves with his family, what kind of relationship he has. This will help you finally understand that there is no place for you in his life - he decided so. You will understand that there are very real people around your beloved married man, and not some abstract personalities that the man does not talk to you about.

Imagine what will happen if you destroy this family. Will all these people be happy? Often after this, making the decision to break up is much easier. It will hurt at first. However, this method sobers the mind, and as a result, after just a couple of days of unbearable suffering, you will feel relief.

To forget a married person, consult a psychologist. Don't hesitate to do this before you get depressed. In this case, it will not be funny at all, and you will have to be treated for quite a long time by other specialists. Start dealing with the problem now.

Switch your attention. Some people are saved by fitness, and others by volunteer work. If you think a short novel will help you, don't give up on the idea. The main thing now is to achieve harmony in the soul. And remember, in such cases you should always believe that the greatest love is ahead!

If you met at your home, redecorate. Ruthlessly get rid of gifts and things that remind you of your married loved one. Immerse yourself in the hassle of renovation and completely renovate your home so that it is unrecognizable. When you finish, you will realize that your new life has already begun.

Ask to introduce him to his parents and visit him at work

He definitely doesn’t expect this from a girl. How will he introduce her? Who is she? The mistress will immediately feel rejected. The more negative emotions, nuances and situations a girl experiences, the faster she will switch to someone else. Asking for such a thing, she herself knows the answer perfectly well.

You can also introduce him to your parents. There is no need to hide the fact that he is married. Especially if he talks all the time about how bad his wife is and that he just dreams of getting a divorce. So why not speed up the process. But no, he has a family, children. And when he cheated, did they disappear somewhere?

Read more: How to communicate on a date?

Married men are afraid of losing everything in an instant, including their impeccable reputation as an exemplary family man. Thanks to her, he is treated better at work. After all, he is a serious person, you can trust him.

The girl needs to visit her boyfriend at work. This is a very risky step, but the gamble is worth the candle. After such an outburst, a clear understanding will come that she is unnecessary in his life. She has no place here. This will be clear to her after the anger with which he drives her out of the building.

Swallowing tears of resentment and self-pity, you will be able to take off your rose-colored glasses and boldly face the truth. Does she want to be in the shadows all her life? This is exactly the place she now occupies in his life. The girl should set her priorities, and if there is no “hiding from mutual friends” clause, then it is better to end this story now. Otherwise, regret will come later.

How to end a relationship with a married man and forget him

How to end a relationship with a married man and start living your own life? If you have decided to do just that and now need advice, we will help you!

It is very important to understand that communicating with a person who has a family is fraught with many pitfalls. So few women dare to admit that their lovers will never leave their wives. Meanwhile, statistics are inexorable, and in 90% of cases this is what happens. First, the men say that they need to put their children on their feet, and divorce is impossible now, then they talk about how their wives are very sick, and if they leave them now, then things will end badly.

As a result, a married man is in the most advantageous position: he lives in familiar conditions and at the same time gets the opportunity to satisfy all his needs on the side. The question is, why change anything at all? This is how the relationship continues until the representative of the stronger sex “ripes” to the necessary decision, or until the woman herself decides to stop all this.

It is quite possible that you choose the second option and you will be right. Years pass, and you are still essentially alone. But very soon you will want, if not children and grandchildren, then at least simply the presence of a dear person in your life - it is so pleasant to share joys and sorrows with him. But you have no one! It's time to break this vicious circle. Just tell yourself that this relationship is a passed stage. They need to be completed, you need to forget your married man in order to find your happiness.

Of course, after you decide to end your relationship with the married man you love, you run the risk of becoming depressed, or at least feeling empty. Don't be alarmed, this is a completely normal condition. The main thing is to endure it for a while. Notice that every day it will become easier and easier. And soon the feelings will be completely forgotten or disappear completely.

If you do not have the strength to take and end the relationship, you cannot forget the married man, do the following - give him an ultimatum: either you or the wife. You either leave or become a wife. They say that this is how Marina Zudina got Oleg Tabakov as her husband. So don't underestimate this method. If your beloved married man starts fussing and trying to sit on two chairs, tell yourself the truth: do you really need this cowardly, slippery man?

Signs of a Married Lover

When a woman meets a man, she pays attention to whether he has a ring on his ring finger. However, even if it is not there, there may be a specific dent on the phalanx. The most reliable way to check whether a man is single or not is to look at his passport. However, this can be difficult to do; in addition, the young man is unlikely to want to show it and will look for various excuses not to do this.

Here you will have to remember if there was anything on the dates that made you wary. For example, you met with your lover only on weekdays, and when asked to spend time together on weekends, he began to look for various excuses. This is the very case when you should think about it.

There is one more little thing that can make you worry - phone calls. When you dial your lover’s number and hear in response: “The subscriber is unavailable.” You have no other way to contact him, since he did not give you a home phone number.

A clear sign that a man is married is that he tries not to go out to crowded places with you, because for him this is a huge risk. There is a possibility that one of his acquaintances will see him with a woman and tell his wife about it, in which case he will face a serious scandal at home. In addition, in order to take you to public places, you need money, and a married person, as a rule, reports to his wife for every ruble taken from the joint budget.

It is also worth remembering whether your lover invited you to meet his relatives or parents. If he has a wife, then it is unlikely that he offered this to you. The only thing that could happen was meetings with his friends, and even then rarely, he had to brag about his novel to them. In this case, the male code of honor will not allow them to tell his wife about the adventures of their spouse.

Remember if you gave him gifts, for example, a sweater, scarf or tie, and does he wear them? A married man most likely will not do this, since he will have to explain himself to his wife, and this is a risk for him to make a mistake. And yet it must be said that all this evidence cannot be considered one hundred percent proof that the man is not free: this can be confirmed either by a stamp in the passport or by a wedding ring. You can reveal the deception only if you yourself are wary, start questioning him and creating traps.

How to end a relationship with a married man

To get in the right frame of mind, imagine yourself in the role of your man’s wife. Do you think it would be pleasant for you to realize that you are being deliberately and systematically cheated on? Surely not. So, always remember this. Building your own happiness while destroying the lives of other people is not only immoral, but also short-sighted, because the ancients said that evil acts like a boomerang - by launching it into the world, we doom ourselves to meet it.

If you think it will help you, find yourself another admirer and spend time with him so that you can forget the married man and feel loved at the same time. If a man who has a family does not want to end his relationship with you, appear in front of him in the company of another person - in this case, even the most dull representatives of the stronger sex are able to draw conclusions.

Do you feel like you need to discuss this issue? Don't hesitate to consult a psychologist. We cannot always trust our friends or parents. But a specialist can listen and give useful advice, keeping your conversation secret.

Is there life after a breakup?

Of course there is, because hundreds of thousands of women have already gone through such a situation and were able to improve their lives. It is quite possible to stop loving a married man; you just need to make some efforts and realize the correctness of such a decision. Psychologists have named 6 moments that await a woman after a breakup:

Accept difficulties

Yes, the habit of love is not as easy to cope with as it seems. On average, according to the observations of psychologists, falling in love goes away in 2 - 3 months, provided that the woman has broken off the connection with the man. It won't be easy, but it will be possible. Drive away sad thoughts that depress you. Do something interesting to avoid sitting alone.

You urgently need to restore energy and strength

To continue living happily, take care of yourself. Raise your self-esteem, meditate, you can walk more outdoors, play sports, ride a bike. Physical activity will help restore hormonal balance after sad events and you will have the strength and mood to meet new people.

Don't isolate yourself

In order not to constantly engage in self-accusation and worries, tell your friend about yourself. She will give you the necessary support, sit with you, listen. Or hire a psychologist who, for a small fee, will help you understand your problems and tell you how to get out of the circle of negative thoughts.

Pamper yourself as often as possible

Buy a week at a spa outside the city, or go to a resort, update your wardrobe. Maybe you've been wanting to buy a car for a long time - get your license urgently. In a word, do what you like, what you dreamed of, everything that gives you pleasure.

Change

Change your image, clothing style, and makeup radically. Rearrange the furniture at home and put up new wallpaper - this very well refreshes the mind and gives a new direction for development. You can start losing weight or gaining weight. Buy tasty and healthy food. Change your lifestyle and habits and see how it will have a beneficial effect on your condition and mood.

Change your habitat

We usually go in circles: work-home-work-shop-home-work. Such a chain is depressing and narrows possibilities. Expand them by moving to another city, change acquaintances and friends, start visiting theaters, exhibitions and cinema if you have not done so before. Believe me, as soon as you leave your usual environment, you will notice how many good people and interesting situations there are in the world. Live!

How to forget a married man and start a new life: advice from psychologists

Have a sincere conversation with the man. Be frank and tell him everything as it is: you are tired of constant deception and the need to hide, you just want to live your life and go out without fear, not be afraid that your wife will see you two now. An adequate man should understand you. If you separate by mutual consent, it will be easier for you to forget your lover who is married.

By the way, perhaps it is at this moment that he will feel that he is ready to leave his family and be with you. Very often men delay making this decision, which is not surprising. The fact is that the average married man who has a mistress is happy with everything: the first one cooks, cleans and ensures a comfortable life in every possible way, while the second one is good in intimate and emotional terms. At the same time, no one is indignant - is it worth changing something?

Yes, in most cases this is what happens. The only difference is that everyone involved in the story suffers. It’s still hard for the husband to be torn in all directions, the wife feels betrayed, and you are tormented by remorse and secretly hope that someday your lover will be only with you.

According to statistics, about 5-7% of men who cheat on their wives go to their mistresses. As soon as you ask them about this, they begin to come up with all sorts of excuses: the children need to be put on their feet, the wife is threatening to commit suicide, etc. So don’t expect that your lover will definitely return to you. If you know for sure that this will not happen, it’s time to think about how to forget your married lover.

If a man has clearly not made a choice in your favor, take a closer look at him. Is he really that good and why do you love him? Would a real man behave like this, deliberately keeping you in the role of a “straw widow” - neither married nor free. Maybe you are exaggerating its merits? Talk about this with your friend, who has always disliked him. Surely she has observations that she did not share with you, not wanting to upset you. But now is the time.

Cheat on your lover or lie about doing it. Watch his reaction. Let him feel himself in your shoes, because he cheats on you with his wife every day.

Finally, to forget your married lover, you can simply leave for a while (or forever), change your phone numbers, email address, and delete your contacts from all social networks. Forget a man, and most likely he will forget you too.

Rest assured, your true love is yet to come!

Negative emotions

We will now break down your problem into different emotions, and clarify what emotions are causing your suffering.

The first emotion is fear . A very strong negative emotion with enormous power.

From my findings, here is a list. I changed the pronouns on most of them from feminine to masculine. If you see yourself in them, feel free to borrow and use them in your work.

Another good idea is to be inspired by these fears and spontaneously become aware of your own.

Some of the things on this list are my guesses about how you feel. If I “didn’t get it”, it’s okay, correct them, adapt them to yourself and your situation.

List of fears:

I'm afraid that he will now find someone else and build with her the relationship that I want with him
I'm afraid he's having sex with someone else right now and she's giving him more pleasure than me.
I'm afraid that all these fears are not far-fetched, but just reality, that this is happening right now
I'm afraid I'll never be with him again
I'm afraid I'll never see him again
I'm afraid I've lost him forever
I'm afraid that I won't have a man like him anymore
I'm afraid I won't want anyone else like him
I'm afraid I won't find another one like him
I'm afraid that I'll find someone else like him, or even better, but I'll ruin my relationship with him, because in reality I don't want this man, but the renewal of that old relationship with that man who doesn't want me
I'm afraid that if I let him go, I'll definitely lose him
I'm afraid that if I let him go, I will destroy the love I have for him.
I'm afraid that there is no love and never was, and that I was actually deceiving myself and him, and that it was all in vain
I'm afraid that if he still wants to be with me in the future, I won't want to be with him anymore, and then I'll regret that I didn't take the chance
I'm afraid that at any moment someone may appear in his life who turns out to be better than me, and that then he will completely forget about me
I'm afraid to seem weak and clingy in his eyes

If at some point additions, comments and related emotions appear, add them in working order under appropriate fear.

The second emotion is anger .

Personally, I have never been an angry person. But if you are an impulsive young lady and get angry easily, I’m sure your list will be more interesting, voluminous and instructive:

I'm angry at myself for being such a fool and bringing myself to this point.
I'm angry at myself for losing him because of my own stupidity.
I'm angry at the one he's with now

If he is a goat, an asshole and a brute, impudent, a schmuck and a womanizer, because he does not want to be with you, describe every angry outburst with passion. The juicier and fatter your anger, the better it will be worked out later.

The next emotion is sadness.

I feel sad because I imagine him next to me, but then the fantasies disappear, and I again realize that he is not there and cannot be
I'm sad that I dream about him almost every night, and in these dreams everything is beautiful, and we are happy together, and I wake up with the realization that it was just a dream, and in reality everything is over, or in these dreams there was some kind of anxiety, abnormality, restlessness, and I wake up with a sediment
I'm sad that when I get a buzz from something, I think how nice it would be if he were next to me now, and I could share this buzz with him, but he's not around
I'm sad that no matter what I do, I still can't bring him back, and that there is no way out except to come to terms with it
I'm sad because I'm fully aware that I may never see him again.
I'm sad that even though I'm seeing someone else, or that I'm thinking about seeing someone else, it's still not the same as what it was with him and what I think that it would be better to be with him
I'm sad because I'm convinced that this won't happen to anyone else.

Notice how much vulnerability there is in these words. This is no accident. We like to hide our vulnerability from ourselves, and this prevents us from seeing the source of our conditioning. Therefore, you should accept, at least for a second, all your “weaknesses” and eliminate as much of the mental husk surrounding it as possible in order to see the situation as it is.

Notice the word “convinced” in the last paragraph. This is not without reason, since soon we will have to catch our limiting beliefs in connection with this situation.

But everything has its time...

We still have loneliness .

Perhaps this is not so much an emotion as a state, but what difference does it make anyway? Let's write:

I'm lonely because I'm used to him being a regular presence in my life, and now he's gone.
I'm lonely because I feel like I'm better off with him than without him.
I'm lonely because I'm convinced that I should be with him instead of without him.
I'm lonely because it seems to me that life took him away from me, and it wasn't me who pushed it away from me.
I'm lonely because I remember how great it was to lie in his arms, but now he's not around
I'm lonely because I can easily imagine how he is next to me now, and we are one, but he is not there

If you are lonely for any other reason, the flag is in your hands, write it out. This is just an option for possible reasons why you feel lonely.

The next emotion is resentment . Where would we be without her?

I'm offended because he didn't choose me, he doesn't want me
I feel bad because I realize that I'm not good enough for him.
I'm offended that life has decreed that we can't be together
I'm offended that now he may be meeting someone he's interested in, but he doesn't care about me
I’m offended that now, perhaps, he doesn’t even think about me, he forgot about me, although I can’t let him go
I'm upset that my love means nothing
I feel bad because it's not fair that he doesn't want me, I deserve it

To catch grievances, focus on any feelings of injustice in connection with the situation. A sense of injustice is the key to resentment.

Another emotion is guilt .

List all your accusations. Including yourself. Most likely, you blame yourself for doing something or not doing something that led to the result that you are now observing.

Write down all the most memorable mistakes (or what could have been mistakes) that you made. What should have been done instead? How should you have behaved?

Maybe you blame yourself for being somehow different, wrong. Maybe you feel like you're not good enough? What kind of person do you need to be for him to need you?

At this stage, you have already accumulated a lot of selected mental material, but we don’t stop there.

The next stage is limiting beliefs.

How to forget your married partner: advice from a psychologist

Love bypasses the opinions of ethics, religion or common sense. She covers you with a hurricane of feelings and emotions, making your heart beat faster at the mere thought of your lover... There is only one catch: what to do with these feelings if a man is already connected by fate with another woman? There is only one way out - to extinguish them and go in search of your man. How to do this, how to throw a married chosen one out of your head, soul and life?

How to forget a married man: steps towards mental healing

Women are hyper-emotional individuals, which is why, looking for salvation, like hunted animals, they sometimes harm themselves even more. To break off cyclical relationships forever and free your heart, neither alcohol, nor ultimatums, nor endless emotional conversations with your lover will help. Everything is much deeper than you want...

So, how to quickly forget a married man and get through the pain of parting with him as easily as possible: advice from a psychologist!

Understand themselves

Experts say that not every woman is ready to commit herself to a relationship with a married man, so if this is the case for you, you need to start corrective work with yourself first. Answer the questions honestly: why does your love go side by side with pain, jealousy, resentment, depression, suffering, humiliation? Who imposed this vision of relationships on you: an unsuccessful parental example or peers who devalued (called you names, mocked, humiliated) you at every opportunity? Why don't you have the willpower to take an important step for your own good? What is it: low self-esteem, inability to fight back, pity for a careless partner, fear of the unknown, an acute feeling of impending loneliness? Only in-depth answers will lead to awareness of the problem!

When self-esteem, fears and irrational beliefs have been sorted out a little, you need to convey the right thoughts to your consciousness.

Mistresses always play secondary roles, no matter what the married man tells them. And this applies not only to spending time together, the financial component, and freedom of movement. This is spiritual kinship, memories, special feelings! Believe me, if the choice is between both women, the married man will crawl on his knees towards his rightful chosen one!
The man still lives with his permanent (legal) companion, and not with you!
Married men who take on another woman are untrustworthy by nature. Are knights capable of betraying, making empty promises, lying, hiding their shortcomings in the name of their own lust?
Love is mutual giving, and a relationship with a married man means that the mistress only gives, receiving nothing in return. She spends her resources (care, warmth, affection, attention), but in return she is content with little. Is it easy to live with the consumer? A sane person will answer in the negative, and this will be the best start to forgetting your married chosen one as soon as possible!
“My years are passing me by, and if I don’t free my heart now, I risk never meeting MY beloved man.” This truth must be understood by every cell of the soul and body. Then you will cry if you don’t believe it today!
The man doesn’t let go because he madly loves…himself. Take off your rose-colored glasses. An adult is in no hurry to change his life only in one case: if it is convenient for him!

To forget a married man as quickly and easily as possible, go through this stage with a psychologist. Sometimes the problem lies literally on the surface, you just need to find the right direction to it.

Set your thinking in a positive way

In the second stage, you need to understand one thing: you deserve happiness! This means it’s time to forget the married man and let go of negative feelings about this. How to restructure your own thinking?

First, let go of the resentment towards your chosen one and the feeling of self-pity. These two emotions only bring destruction. Yes, he is far from the best candidate for a future together, but let the empty deceiver go in peace. This stage has been passed, so let it leave behind a powerful incentive to move on, experience, strength and wisdom. Realize that after a breakup comes a time of spiritual development, peace, and personal growth.

Secondly, remember that nothing in life is eternal. And if so, then there is no point in holding this “eternal” in your head. Nothing is permanent, especially love... You will not live, love, suffer forever. Every person on earth has a certain time period, which will also end in due time. Is it worth clinging to emotions, experiences, feelings that are not destined to last indefinitely?

Third, remember that you always have an abundance of choice. Don't look at the world with the hungry gaze of a lonely woman, just enjoy life. To forget your married boyfriend, communicate with people you like, open up to the opposite sex, let new acquaintances into your life, share your inner world with them! Accept the changes. The less we resist them, the faster they will ease the pain of parting with a married lover. Come up with a new dream for yourself, dreams inspire.

Exclude contact

To forget a married man as quickly as possible, you need to break off any connection with him. This will help you calm down, switch, and clear your head of depressing thoughts. Minimize contact by phone, instant messengers, SMS, social networks, email. If you have mutual friends, limit your communication with them for now! If these are good people, they will understand if you step aside for a while. You need to abstract yourself!

Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are the root of resentment, as are many other negative emotions, as I wrote about here. And on this page, you can familiarize yourself with limiting beliefs that lead to resentment. This may help inspire you to clarify your OPs related to your situation.

I have compiled a list of 44 OUs that may be involved in your situation. Probably not all of them are relevant to you. But most of it is definitely about you.

Important point. Try not to just blindly copy the beliefs from this list, but to feel them in yourself. See how these beliefs shaped your reactions, and ultimately your negative emotions, and your suffering. Beliefs are effectively processed when they are clarified. And this requires maximum involvement in the process.

Many of these beliefs are modifications of your emotions. But here we are not talking about how we feel, but how we perceive reality. It is these beliefs about reality that largely lead to suffering.

Here is a list of these limiting beliefs.

I should be with him, not without him. Being without him is wrong, it shouldn’t be like this
It's better with him than without him
It's my fault that he doesn't need me
It's not my fault that he doesn't need me
I'm not good enough for him
I deserve his attention, his love, his desire to be with me
I don't deserve his attention, his love, his desire to be with me
It's wrong that he doesn't want me
He is now with someone else, he already has a relationship with someone
I don't give him as much pleasure in sex as the other one
This is not just my glitches, this is reality
Life took him away from me
I pushed him away myself
I'll never be with him again
I'll never see him again
I lost him forever
I will never have a man like him again
I won't want anyone else like him
I won't find another one like him
I will find someone else like him, or even better, and I will ruin the relationship with him myself, because in fact I do not want him, but the resumption of that old relationship
If I let him go, I'll definitely lose him
I have to keep it in my head so that it comes back
He will only come back if I continue to love him and have his image in my head, constantly thinking about him
The more I think about him, the more likely it is that he will want to be with me.
If I let him go, I will destroy the love I have for him.
There was no love, I was actually deceiving myself and him
I don’t have the right to admit that these are all glitches, because then I’ll have to admit that all this love and feelings and suffering are empty, and that I’m investing in this in vain, and that I’m a fool for investing in this
If he still wants me in the future, I will no longer want him, and then I will regret that I did not take the chance
no matter what I do, I still can’t bring him back
there is no way out except to come to terms with your situation
If I have anyone, it won’t be as cool with him as with that man
If I don’t remind him of myself in any way, and completely disappear from his life, he will forget about me, send me to hell completely, and decide never to contact me again
I have to demonstrate that I let him go, and that my life is a thrill, so that somehow he can see this and realize that it was in vain to throw me away like that
If I don't remind him of myself in any way, and completely disappear from his life, he will start to really miss me, realize what he lost and write to me, contact me, want a relationship with me
I have to keep an eye on him so I don't forget him, don't let him go
If I don't follow him, it means I've definitely come to terms with the fact that he has someone else
If I follow him, it means I'm not accepting that he won't come back to me.
If I accept the fact that I won’t have it, then I definitely won’t have it.
If I worry about whether he wants to be with me, what he is doing now, whether she has anyone else, etc., then this will increase my chances that he will want to be with me
If I don't follow him, it means I don't love him.
I need to maintain the intensity of feelings in order to be prepared for the fact that he wants a relationship with me
If I torment myself with my suffering, then fate will decide in such a way that he will want to be with me, and this will save me from suffering
I suffer because I don’t want the suffering to stop, but for him to be with us, I’m ready to suffer for this
To stop suffering, I need him to be with me

As with emotions, if comments on a belief appear, be sure to add them to the list.

Please note that many beliefs work in conjunction with “positive” and “negative”. Paint both sides of the coin.

In addition, you will see that with your beliefs you deliberately hold back your suffering - for example, in order to preserve at least some feelings, and not plunge into the gloomy empty dullness and indifference, mixed with quiet despair and non-acceptance of reality.

You think that with your suffering you will draw him back, whether you realize it or not. And in order to stop being so glitchy, this op-amp needs to be clarified, worked out and discarded.

And you will see the habit from childhood of suffering on purpose so that they will take pity on us and reassure us.

And the victim mentality shines through here too.

By the way, why do you deserve to be with him? Describe it.

The next point is the decisions made, against the backdrop of all this confusion.

How to forget a married man quickly

Meeting your soulmate, with whom you feel warm, comfortable and cozy, is a wonderful event for every person. But there are situations in life when women, with feelings beyond the control of reason, want to build relationships with married men.

On the one hand, it is wrong, and even completely immoral, but on the other hand, there can be such strong feelings between people that they do not pay attention to established life patterns. But quite often such relationships end, and then a woman who has feelings for a married man can suffer greatly. How to forget the married man you love and get rid of painful feelings in order to improve your personal life will be discussed further.

Difficult decisions

The advice of psychologists here is ambiguous - some say that you can’t order your heart, and you should take it for granted, others advise “knocking out a wedge with a wedge,” and still others even recommend not denying yourself the pleasure of further intimate meetings.

But it just so happens that we are all possessive by nature, and a rare girl will like to be in the shadows for a long time. And if one of us happens to fall in love with a married man, sooner or later she will want the almost impossible - for her passion to immediately leave her family and “flip” under her wing.

However, men are rather strange creatures. They can sincerely enjoy personal meetings with their mistress, but they extremely rarely abandon their wives and children.

In this case, it is necessary to say goodbye to the past and transfer the current lover to the category of an ex.

How to forget a lover if you are strongly attracted to him in a sexual or simple human way? Should we forget our ex-lover at all, or should we, on the contrary, always remember the bitter experience so that its continuation does not inadvertently happen? Is it possible in this case to do without the help of a psychologist and nightly alcoholic gatherings in the company of friends? Yes. And you will definitely overcome love addiction if you really want it.

Why a woman’s relationship with a married man cannot end in marriage

First of all, you need to understand that relationships with married men almost always end in separation, since they very rarely leave their wives.

The reasons may be different, for example:

In a legal marriage, a man has children who are dear to him, and he does not want to leave them until he puts them on their feet;
Despite the fact that the husband is often absent, supposedly on business or on a business trip, there are no scandals or bickering in his family. He is always welcome at home, this suits him quite well;
Of no small importance for men is both a sense of duty and respect for their lawful soul mate if she has health problems;
The man simply does not want to change the existing situation, so he comes up with various “excuses”.

Another reason why a relationship ends directly between a woman and a married man is considered to be a change in status if he divorces and marries his mistress. Family routine can radically change everything, which leads to the end of the relationship.

Call his wife

This is the boldest step on the list.
The girl does not have to say that she is that same lover. It should simply be said that her husband is not faithful to her. You can also send several spicy photographs together, but so that the girl’s face is not visible. Otherwise, additional problems cannot be avoided. This is done so that he cannot take a single step calmly without the control of his wife. And if this happens, then the girl in love will not be able to see him. But she will have more time to find another, worthy life partner and quickly forget this nightmare.

Sometimes the question of how to forget a loved one finds an answer itself. Not everyone will like being in second place, a “spare”. After all, in love there are no second roles. And the sooner she decides to end this relationship, the better. You need to have self-esteem and at least a drop of pride.

Illusions that women who date married men harbor

You shouldn’t have harmful illusions

One of the main illusions is a change in marital status, since a woman expects that her married lover will soon leave his wife and propose marriage.

The following facts can also be misleading:

This is a small infatuation and will last for a while. But, often a woman gets carried away very much, and after that she cannot refuse such a relationship and suffers greatly;
Even if a married man leaves his own family, then it is possible that when starting a family with his former mistress, she may share the fate of his ex-wife;
Secret meetings will give additional adrenaline and excitement. Such a situation will only bring pleasure at first, but after some time such secrecy will develop into hardships for all participants in such flirting;
Secret meetings may seem romantic to some, but this is only at first, but there is one more point. A married man can meet his mistress only when he has such an opportunity. Therefore, not showing up for a date or leaving earlier than usual are common situations in such relationships. And it is important to remember that a married man has completely legal grounds for this, but his mistress simply has no choice. After all, her disagreement will cause a break in the relationship. Therefore, she must either tolerate such behavior or break up with her lover.

Another fact that must be attributed to the illusion is the respect of a beloved married man for his mistress. It should be said that in the indicated life situation there is no question of respect, even if the man has strong feelings for the woman he is secretly dating from his legal wife.

A man will never humiliate his beloved woman by assigning her the status of a mistress.

It is important to remember that in the case where a woman is married and dating a married man, such love relationships can have more unpleasant consequences. There is a risk of hurting not only the lover’s wife, but also her own husband. Most often in such situations, it is their own children who suffer.

Decisions made

When a person is in pain, his subconscious begins to work chaotically to hide this pain and somehow protect you from the occurrence of this pain in the future.

For the second task, all sorts of solutions are often activated, which are often not realized by the person, but at the same time have great command power. They create new restrictions and conditioning, which a person will then have to fight with (if, of course, he is interested in freedom), so it is better to immediately stop this process if possible.

Here are possible solutions in this situation.

I will now get to know and meet other guys a lot, have sex with him, have a lot of superficial connections, this will help me forget about him and understand that I don’t really need him
I will throw myself into work, business, hobby or some project, I will make myself very busy so as not to suffer, not to think about him, not to remember him
I will lose weight, get myself in order, go in for sports to make myself more attractive, if not for him, then for another man
I will not enter into a serious relationship with anyone, I don’t want to get attached, attachment is pain and suffering
I have to get into a serious relationship with someone to forget about him, and so that if he suddenly wants to be with me, to show him that I am desirable to other guys, and that his time is up, to make him suffer the way I did I'm suffering now

The main thing is that any decisions should be made with a clear head, and not against the backdrop of severe pain that your subconscious is trying to hide from you, partly thanks to these decisions.

Be sure to add decisions that you are guaranteed to have made. If you have been tormented by the image of this man for several months now, you 100% have some unconscious decisions in this regard, and they need to be clarified.

Now we have come close to the slightly paradoxical aspect of your suffering.

Advice from psychologists to help you forget a married man

To forget a married loved one, get him out of your head and experience the pain of separation, many women try various options, although some of them are considered completely unacceptable. For example, they try to quench their sadness by drinking alcohol. This is not a way out of the situation at all; in this case, harm is caused not only to the psychological state, but also to health in general. Since it is not easy to forget a married man, the best option would be to contact a psychologist who can deal with the problem.

a good psychologist will ease your morale

Next, the psychologist’s advice directly, which will help you figure out how to forget a married man:

It is important to understand that a married man who cheats on his own wife can do the same to his mistress in the future. No one is immune from this.
It is worth excluding from your memory all memories that relate to a married man. This applies to messages on your phone and computer, and you should also get rid of photos together. In this case, you need to be decisive. After all, unnecessary reminders can prolong a depressive state. Do not forget that you also need to delete messages from social networks if communication took place on them, but it would be better to block your ex-lover’s access to your own account.
As for mutual acquaintances, of course, you should not lose friendly relations with those people who are relatives or friends of a former undivorced man. You can limit communication at first in order to quickly get through the most critical period if their friendship is dear.
It helps to avoid a depressive state by changing the interior of your own home if you had meetings with a married man there.
You need to try to find as many flaws as possible in your ex-lover. This will help reduce the feeling of admiration and love that makes it impossible to forget him.
You can remember the advice and complaints of loved ones who knew, but were against such a relationship, because their arguments were somehow justified, and not just simple complaints.

In most cases, psychologists advise getting rid of not only photos together, but also gifts given to former lovers. An unnecessary reminder can provoke a long period of depression, and this can quite possibly have a negative impact on your health. It is best to remove them from your personal life. For example, return them to your ex or give them to someone else, you can also sell them if such an opportunity arises.

Among the ways to improve your own personal life after breaking up with a married man, many argue that giving free rein to tears makes it easier. This option is quite acceptable, although it should be short-term, that is, it should not drag on for weeks.

How to end a relationship with a man who has a legal wife

Many women who start dating married men believe that over time he will leave his own wife. But as statistics indicate, more than 90% of legally married men do not marry their mistresses. Therefore, in the case when the relationship develops according to the “wife-mistress” scenario, it makes sense to stop it or not start it at all.

love triangle is not the best relationship

In order to get into the right frame of mind and not fall into depression, it is recommended to use several tips that will help you avoid unpleasant yearning because of your love for a married man.

It should be taken into account that a relationship with a man who has a family is immoral, and also short-sighted. The first option speaks for itself, but as for short-sightedness, such infantile relationships are often short-term in nature. Various everyday situations can contribute to this (tiredness from unstable meetings, tired of playing spy games, reproaches from a mistress about breaking up with his legal wife).
You need to put yourself directly in your wife’s shoes. After all, it is extremely unpleasant when your beloved husband has an affair with someone else. If a woman who has warm feelings for a married man is aware that their relationship will destroy family happiness, then the best option would be to find another admirer who can surround her with warmth and care.
It should be noted that if it is impossible to decide to part with a beloved but married man, you can try to present him with a fait accompli: either his wife or me. If your beloved begins to make excuses and fuss, then it’s worth thinking about the fact that the expected cardinal changes in family relationships simply will not happen.
Therefore, it is recommended to take this decision as a basis and end the love affair on the side if this situation is no longer satisfactory.

According to statistics, only 5-7% of married men leave their wives and marry their mistresses, and their relationships do not always last long.

How to increase self-esteem?

Let's use men as an example. How can a man improve his self-esteem? For example, if a man grows in his career and business, then his self-esteem also grows. He becomes more courageous, more self-confident. Why? Because he understands that the more successful he is, the more valuable he is, in principle, to many people. And his condition changes because of this.

Many girls also resort to this when pursuing a career or business. But it is important to understand, yes, self-esteem from a career or business can also grow higher, but this is not a woman’s self-esteem, this is a person’s self-esteem. And often a woman can be confident in work, in business, but often nonsense happens in life. And often there is such a dissonance that she is successful in her career and business, but not in relationships. It's different for women. A woman's self-esteem greatly depends on the quality of her relationships with men.

This is how the world works. This does not mean that you should bow down to someone or try. No. This means that you must first establish a relationship with yourself. These are the most important relationships you need to establish. And when you establish them, your relationships with men will also improve. Until you have established a relationship with yourself, you want to manipulate, you want to pretend to be someone you are not, and you attract the same men who pretend to be someone they are not. And you and each other have hard sex in the brain. If you are satisfied with this, then continue in the same spirit, if you are not satisfied with this, ask yourself more often the question: what is my plan, what do I really want and what am I doing or not doing for this. Am I moving exactly towards my goals and desires or am I marking time.

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Other possible options to quickly forget a love relationship with a married man

A visit to a psychologist when a separation from a married man occurs is considered the best option, but in addition to this, you can try to cope with the current situation on your own.

1. Change your image. You can go directly to a stylist, makeup artist, or visit a beauty salon;

visiting a beauty salon is a great option

2. A good option would be to distract yourself with some activities that will bring only positive emotions. If possible, the best option would be to go on a vacation trip, for example, to the sea, or engage in some exciting extreme sports;

seaside holidays are the best medicine

3. You shouldn’t just sit at home and be depressed; you can go to the cinema, theater, concert of your favorite artist, or attend other entertainment programs.

going to the cinema or theater is also a great way to distract and unwind

Increasing self-esteem

Self-esteem is of great importance for every representative of the fair sex. Quite often, after a breakup with a married man, a woman loses self-confidence and in this case it is difficult for her to get out of an apathetic and depressive state.

To improve your self-esteem, you can follow these recommendations:

If possible, you can start a career or create your own business;
Establish a relationship with yourself. It is important not to dwell on past relationships, and not to reproach yourself for the fact that the relationship with a married man cannot continue;
It is recommended to find something you enjoy, which can also provide emotional stability. And if your favorite activity brings profit, then this will be an additional step towards increasing self-esteem;
In addition to financial stability, it is important for a woman to be surrounded by love and care, so it is worth acquiring a new fan who will give the desired feelings. But this is mainly recommended for unmarried representatives of the fair sex;
If a woman is married and has dated a married man, then she should try to improve her relationship with her own husband, if it has not yet been completely damaged.

It also needs to be said that a woman who wants to forget a love relationship with a married man should set this as a goal, then the painful situation will quickly disappear and will not cause unpleasant sensations.

Avoid him or put yourself in your wife's place

This is not as simple as it seems at first glance, because the girl sincerely loves him. But this step will immediately open her eyes. The more often she refuses to meet him, the more often her phone is turned off, the faster this connection will break. If a girl is his next hobby, and not the love of his life, as he likes to repeat, then he will not grieve much. Maybe he’ll even find a new lover.

Men are looking for a girl on the side to take a break from everyday life.

They don’t like that his wife has certain requirements for him.
After all, they live in the same house and raise common children. He gets tired of all this and decides to find some kind of oasis in this whole desert of discontent and misunderstanding. And all this while the wife finds no place for herself at home. If you can’t avoid it, you should imagine how your wife feels. She is looking forward to her husband, the father of her children, coming home. And he is once again late at work. She feels betrayed. This can be hidden from her eyes, but not from her heart. She notices changes in his behavior, in his speech.

Read more: Why do I always fall in love with the wrong person?

Dealing with betrayal is not that easy. Once upon a time, this man made a vow to her to love, cherish and cherish her in thick and thin. And now she is sitting at a broken trough. The family that she created for many years, devoting her strength and all her free time, is collapsing before her eyes.

It is worth experiencing everything that she experiences every day. She probably can’t sleep peacefully, there’s nothing in her throat. The wife constantly blames herself, thinking that it’s her fault, that it’s because of her that he spends time with someone else. But in most cases, men simply don’t have enough thrills or they want to assert themselves even more. So he “goes to the left.”