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Surely you already know that most people decide to break off a relationship due to a loss of feelings of attraction to each other. In some cases it can disappear in a few weeks, sometimes it can take years. But it’s not so important how long it took for a woman to lose that spark, it’s important to know why it happened.
That's why today we'll discuss six things that can completely destroy a woman's attraction to you. This way, you can adjust your behavior towards your ex or another girl you might meet in the future.
So, when it comes to loss of desire, there are a few principles that you should remember and follow.
Stop being so polite to her all the time.
When you first meet a girl and act "too nice" it can turn her off. Naturally, you need to open the door for her or act chivalrous when necessary, but this does not mean that you should constantly shower her with gifts, compliment her all the time and do everything possible to make her smile.
Women are simply disgusted by this behavior, and the fact that you have been together for a long time does not change anything. The fact that you are subservient to her clearly does not make you sexy in her eyes and makes her look for a man who can stand up for himself.
But why? Girls love attention...
Remember, women are attracted to men, not loser sissies, so start acting like real men! There are certain traits that act like magnets on girls, and believe me, ingratiating behavior is definitely not among them. Here is a short list of male characteristics that will make you attractive to a girl. See if you need to adjust yourself a little to find a girl?
Have you tried toys yet?
Some girls are embarrassed to use sex toys, but in vain. They can improve your sexual experience and help you achieve orgasm. Based on a 2021 survey, about 40% of women need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. “Some people need intense stimulation, which is only possible with a vibrator,” says Castleman. You can start with something small, like a bullet vibrator.
Stop clinging to her and showing your jealousy
Even very confident men can act clingy if they feel they are not up to the level of the woman they are dating. But you should avoid this trap. Just because you think your wife or girlfriend is "top class" doesn't mean you have to act like a slob every time she wants to go out or meets up with male friends.
Even if she says she finds your jealous behavior "cute," don't fall for it. Eventually she'll get tired of it. Give her time and space to herself and she will come back again and again.
Why?
Because by being jealous, you will convince her that she has some kind of superiority over you, which means that she will soon stop appreciating you altogether. And this is a direct path to betrayal, because she will not be interested in someone who runs after her like a dog. Better take care of yourself to look worthy and desirable in her eyes. Believe me, this is not just a method to keep a woman, it is also one of the most effective ways to prevent cheating. By the way, you can read more about such secrets here to know how to put yourself first for her and so that she doesn’t even look in the direction of others.
You spend most of your day sitting
Chaining yourself to your desk may make your boss happier, but it's definitely not the best solution for your pelvic muscles. A sedentary lifestyle shortens them, which leads to pain in the pelvic area. To avoid this problem, Dr. Van Kirk advises moving every half hour or hour. In order not to forget, you should set an alarm clock. If you have the opportunity to use a conference room, you can do a couple of exercises in the form of stretching, squats and twists.
Stop constantly agreeing with her on everything.
Again, women are unlikely to find “tail wagging” attractive. If you find some of your girlfriend's behavior unacceptable, just tell her so. Do not obey or indulge her every whim.
You are a person with your own moral principles, you need to make sure that she knows when to stop, that she doesn't cross the line. So the next time she starts talking about her ex-boyfriend for an hour, just cut her off. Don't let her whine and complain to you as if you were her friend. Be her boyfriend and politely let her know that you don't approve of this behavior. When things calm down, she will respect you more and find you even more attractive. So everyone wins.
Why?
Because women highly value leadership qualities in men and their point of view. No girl wants to be with someone who can't put others in their place if he doesn't agree with something. That is, you must be yourself and remember your own interests, and not run after her everywhere and obey her in everything (as well as others). If you do not agree with any of her suggestions, claims or behavior, you need to say so. Nobody says that you have to hit the table with your fist and consider yourself right in everything, but again you need to be a man with your own convictions and principles. This is important not only for new, but also for long-term relationships, because they will respect you for it. And this is one of the good ways to keep a girl, even if she returned to you after a breakup. And you can find out more about them here.
Are you feeling anxious?
“Anxiety can cause intrusive thoughts that make it difficult to achieve orgasm,” says New York City psychiatrist and MD Grant Hilary Brenner. A recent survey from Valparaiso University in Indiana shows that more than half of women have difficulty achieving orgasm due to anxiety. Plus, uncertainty and doubts cause other unpleasant thoughts during sex. If you feel like this is playing a role in your sex life, you might want to talk to a therapist about it.
Stop being pessimistic all the time
If you constantly complain about someone or if you had a bad day at work and you whine about it, then your girlfriend will want to run away from you. Nobody wants to be with a whiner. Even guys. So, instead of playing the victim, try not to let it all out and try to work things out.
Being a man means solving problems and finding solutions . You will still have to look for ways out of different life situations, since the problems will not be solved by themselves. Therefore, pull yourself together and don’t try to constantly complain.
“But she complains, why shouldn’t I?” you ask.
Firstly, you are unlikely to be very happy listening to someone else’s whining, even if its “author” is the girl you love. sooner or later you will also get tired of her behavior. And secondly, she wants to see a strong man next to her, and not a whiner who is unable to protect her from any of life’s troubles. In addition, being in a couple, we develop our own pattern of behavior, even unconsciously inheriting each other. And if you act like a pessimist all the time, this attitude will soon be transferred to the girl. And as a result, nothing good will come of it at all. Therefore, analyze your behavior to prevent such an outcome. A separate article can help with this, which contains other tips aimed at overcoming the crisis and saving relationships.
This is a side effect of your medications
Every medicine has a list of side effects. So, we recommend you read it! “Some drugs can cause a spike in prolactin, a protein that reduces libido. This could be the cause of your difficulties,” says Dr. Van Kirk. Typically these medications include oral contraceptives, blood pressure medications, and antidepressants. Van Kirk adds that antihistamine pills can also work against you, as they reduce lubrication and thus impair the quality of sex. If this is your case, then stock up on extra lubricant from their sex shop or pharmacy and talk to your doctor about a possible change in medications if no problems follow.
Stop constantly putting her down
This is the other side of what has already been said before. If you don't show a girl the respect she deserves, it will completely destroy her feelings of attraction towards you over time.
Many so-called “good boys” try too hard to be the “bad boys,” which men think is very attractive to women. But if you take this too far, it will lead to exactly the same result - they will lose their attractiveness in front of women. So don't make this mistake.
You must find a middle ground between subservience on your part and disrespect for her. Love, appreciate, respect her, spend time with her. It's really simple and works great even in situations where the relationship is on the verge of breaking down. Self-control on your part, courtship, helping each other - these are the basic principles of successful relationships, which even help save marriages. And you can learn more about them from a separate article devoted to this topic.
You are afraid to let the situation get out of control
When you're used to being in control, it can be difficult to relax in bed. But trying to control everything can prevent you from having an orgasm. Why? Well, at least because orgasm takes over your body and it becomes difficult to control it. If this worries you, don't be afraid! In extreme cases, a shiver will run through your body and the vaginal walls will contract. The main thing, remember, at this moment you need to surrender to your feelings and remember to breathe. Let your body enjoy. If you feel like you still need help, try contacting a sex therapist.
Instead of an afterword
Having decided to reciprocate her feelings, you need to calculate your next steps by playing a chess game.
Try to surprise her, behave unconventionally, periodically changing your behavior pattern. The goal is to maintain the interest of the chosen one, being unobtrusive, gradually getting closer. Please note that many girls are not attracted to guys:
- Too open in front of them, exposing feelings before the romance begins.
- Making it clear that they will be there, waiting for “their time.”
Overly intrusive signs of attention can alienate your companion.
In this case, the intrigue is lost, interest in the young man as a potential partner fades away. Let the girl know that you like her without violating her personal space until the feelings become mutual. Positive emotions and signs of attention should be given “in doses” so that the young lady looks forward to meeting her gentleman and wonders what he will do next.
What do you think should be done if a girl doesn’t reciprocate? Share your personal experience, ask questions. Write in the comments.
· May 18, 2018
Reason #7: She saves herself for “the one”
Well, since you are still not in the same bed, then most likely you are not the one. All you have to do is either convince her otherwise, or give up empty attempts to storm the impregnable fortress. Men are turned on by inaccessibility, but such a game is dangerous for both: at a certain moment, your goal becomes to conquer her at any cost, and when sex finally happens, it turns out that there is little that connects you. This is good if it doesn’t come to marriage, children and a mortgage: then the realization of your mistake and stubbornness is even more painful.
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You are not drinking enough water
Consistently drinking water can prevent everyday problems such as fatigue and constipation. It will also help you achieve orgasm. The tissue responsible for arousal needs a lot of fluid to function properly, explains Dr. Formberg. So, make sure you drink enough water. Especially after drinking a couple of cocktails, because alcohol dehydrates the body.
Author. Ramina Ibragimova x Harper's BAZAAR Kazakhstan. Photo. Shutterstock.com.
Do you often wear heels?
Not only are high-heeled shoes painful to walk in, but they also have a deforming effect on the psoas muscles, which are connected to the pelvic muscles and nerves, as well as the genitals. “When your psoas muscles are tight and distorted from wearing high-heeled shoes for a long time, they cannot transmit the arousal signal needed to achieve orgasm,” explains Dr. Eden Fromberg, founder of the Gynecology Center in New York City. Therefore, try to give preference to more comfortable shoes.
Unpopular with girls
Your personal problem that you need to do something about. If you don't have enough sex in your life, you need to get serious about improving your seduction skills.
Think about what you are doing wrong, read the relevant literature and constantly practice communicating with different girls. This is a winning tactic that has never failed anyone. What to do if girls don't give? I have a lot of materials that will help you take your first steps, for example, how to learn how to look sexy. You can also sign up for a course and receive complete information in a concentrated form. Only direct instructions for action and constant practice with support.
Where and how to touch a girl? Butt, breasts or right there?
Every girl, consciously or not, demarcates for herself the zones where a guy can touch her at a certain stage of the relationship, and where he cannot.
Much here depends not so much on preferences, but on the real worldview. Start with more accessible areas: arms, shoulders, back, palms
. Everyone will like this, and all girls allow you to touch themselves in these areas only if you are not unpleasant to her to the point of nausea. If you are sitting in a cafe, try to see her earrings. If you succeed, then know that everything is fine with you and your sympathy is guaranteed. Remember, if a girl lets you touch her hair, then she definitely likes you. This is the law!
Guessing when it's time to move on to more explicit caresses, for example, on the lower abdomen or chest, is quite difficult, if not impossible. So just don’t be shy. Practice “random” touches, which will then turn into special and clearly noticeable ones. A girl won't send you away immediately after you accidentally touched her breasts or butt, but only if it really looks like an accident. Still, it’s better to start from the shoulder. Try to casually touch the upper part of your arm and watch the reaction.
There are also particularly sensitive areas that are typical for every girl. Touching them gives a special pleasure, and this should be used. Usually these are the most commonplace breasts, butt and lower abdomen, but there are exceptions, more on that below.
Let's look at the main parts of a girl's body that you need to learn to touch correctly:
- back;
- back of the head;
- inner thighs;
- breast;
- butt;
- inner thighs;
Don't overdo it with your ears.
There is no need to rub them like a washcloth, just a few light touches are enough and move on to other areas, to the back of the head, lightly pulling the hair if her hairstyle allows it. You can even give your scalp a little massage. It's quite relaxing. The lower back and inner thighs are areas that are especially sensitive to touch. The skin here is very delicate, and therefore needs to be treated accordingly. Slowly move your fingertips up and down.
The breast is generally a serious erogenous zone to which you may not be allowed. Here caresses should be not only gentle, but also passionate; it is extremely important to touch the girl’s breasts correctly. The entire palm is involved. Squeeze and release your nipples. True, it’s not really worth doing this. In general, I wrote earlier about how to excite a woman. I also recommend spending a lot of time on your breasts.
