Recently I noticed that in a male company the conversation flows naturally, without tension or awkward pauses. Thousands of interesting topics, stories, anecdotes arise in my head. But in the presence of a girl, this entire inexhaustible flow is instantly blocked.
As if with the snap of your fingers, you turn from a witty jokester into a notorious idiot.
How many times have there been such cases when you met a girl, seemed to start an interesting conversation and suddenly you catch yourself thinking that the topics for conversation have ended, and in the eyes of the young lady there is boredom and a desire to leave quickly.
I immediately panic in my head: “You need to say something, don’t be silent!”, but in the silence you can only hear the roar of falling self-esteem. The tips below will help you learn how to maintain a conversation with a girl and not look like a boring bore.
Correspondence with a girl: examples. How to start a correspondence with a girl? Questions for a girl when texting
It's always difficult to meet people. After all, you want to please a person at first sight. But, unfortunately, this is not always possible. Today, young people prefer to make friends and comrades on social networks or using mobile phones. What is it like - proper correspondence with a girl? How to make acquaintances? What questions should you ask a representative of the fair sex so as not to scare her away? It is these topics that we will talk about next.
Write whatever you want
Some Internet users do not agree with such advice - they believe that you can write absolutely whatever you want. The Internet is the same.
We live in a society where there is already enough stress and lack of freedom of speech. Therefore, on the Internet, relax your social leash to the maximum and write whatever you want. Once again, write ANYTHING you want. This doesn't mean you need to hurl insults. This means that you are free to structure the dialogue in the way that suits you. If the person on the other side of the dialogue does not respect your comfort, it is obvious that he will not be suitable for you for offline relationships.
Choosing a Communication Style
At the very beginning, it should be noted that the main thing is to choose the right style of communication with the lady you like. But how to do that? Everything is extremely simple. If you are going to meet on social networks, you just need to carefully study the girl’s page. She can tell you a lot. So, you can look at the photos and pictures she has uploaded, and listen to the playlist. It is easy to draw certain conclusions from this. Let's consider what communication styles you can choose:
- Sweet, “vanilla”. Girls who prefer this kind of communication love it when people “lisp” with them, when they are given compliments and even flattered.
- Literary. This is how you should communicate with girls who like to be addressed in beautiful literary speech, without ordinary expressions, not in Surzhik.
- Ordinary. Here you can simply write to a girl without thinking about who she really wants to present herself as.
- Special. In this case, you need to carefully study the terminology of the subculture to which the lady belongs. This can be easily recognized by photos and playlists on social networks.
Use the carrot and stick method
Young people also advise using their own weapons against girls. Show initiative, and then show that the light has not converged on a person like a wedge.
-Girls really like communication according to the “carrot and stick” scheme. The carrots in this scheme are various compliments towards the interlocutor, some pleasant words, interest in him, you know. While the whip is ignore, cold messages (indicative lack of interest). They often use such a “contrast shower”; it fuels your interest in them and makes you dependent on communication. Use this weapon to your advantage, it works just as gracefully against them.
First word/phrase
It is very important that the beginning of correspondence with a girl is as correct as possible. Why is that? The fact is that ladies, especially beautiful ones, receive many offers to meet each other every day. And most of them are simply ignored. That is why you need to initially interest the girl and attract the necessary attention. So, the first word or phrase written in the message is important. The usual "Hello!" few will be surprised. You need to be creative with your first proposal. So, let's look at successful correspondence with girls. Examples of the first phrases will help you build communication with the fairer sex you like:
- "Hello! Tell me, what will happen to our planet if all the butterflies (cats, dogs) disappear?” That is, you need to ask about what the lady herself likes.
- “I wonder what can make such a beautiful girl happy?”
- "Hello! I’m asking a business question: tell me, what modeling agency do you work for? Do I want to send my little sister (niece) there?” This is how you can start a conversation with beautiful ladies.
A story about yourself
Let's figure out further how to start a correspondence with a girl. So, if an acquaintance has already been established, you need to know how to keep the conversation going. To do this, you need to tell about yourself and find out all the most interesting and important things about the life of the lady you like. In this case, you need to review your completed application form. In some cases, it can be edited a little, adjusting the information towards the interests of the lady you like. What should you tell about yourself? Correspondence with a girl will be very successful if there are no boring stories like “born-raised-studied-work.” First of all, we need to talk about those aspects of life where you can find similar interests:
- Hobbies, interests.
- Favorite films, music.
- Recreation preferences (visiting clubs, going out into nature, hanging out with friends at home or in a quiet place, etc.).
However, it is also important to talk about your place of study or work. After all, there may be certain lines of intersection. At the same time, it is necessary not only to tell. After your speech, you need to ask an appropriate question, for example: “I love cars and everything connected with them. How do you feel about this hobby?” If a lady is not interested in something, you should not stop there, you need to move on to the next object of attention.
Moving the conversation from one topic to another
When the topic of conversation has exhausted itself, change it to another. This needs to be done naturally. You can move beautifully from one topic to another with the help of an open question. At the same time, the second topic seems to cling to the previous one.
For example, you were talking about flowers, and you need to change the topic of the conversation:
AND
: My favorite flowers are chamomile.
M
: You know, I heard that flowers are the best gift for a woman. What gifts do you like best?
After this, the dialogue turns to a discussion of gifts.
Topics that will appeal to many young ladies
In order for correspondence with a girl to be very successful, you definitely need to interest the lady. In this case, you need to choose an appropriate topic for conversation. So, let’s look at the questions a girl should definitely ask when texting:
- Questions about her personality. All people love to talk about themselves and their achievements. Therefore, after almost every story, it is good to ask a question, as they say, on the topic. This way you can chat for hours, learning more and more information about each other.
- Preferences. You definitely need to ask the girl about her preferences in all possible areas of life. You can talk not only about music, movies or books. So, you can find out about your favorite clothing style, weather, season, food, drinks, etc.
- Future plans. This path is very risky (especially if the guy is afraid of commitment), but sometimes you can ask about the girl’s plans for the future. If the answers she gave are ambiguous and are not to your liking, you need to quickly move the topic in a different direction. However, you should not choose a completely opposite topic, so that the girl does not get the feeling that the guy is deliberately ignoring this or that question. For example, if a lady wrote: “I dream of getting married and having five children,” you can answer: “That’s good. “I have a sister (brother) - they have a family, there are children, they are so happy.” And then move on to the topic of relatives.
Additional topics of conversation
Here are a few more general topics that will help you understand the question of how to diversify a conversation with a girl and not seem boring:
- Movies.
Show me at least one person who has never seen a movie. Everyone has their favorite movie and now is the time to find out which one it is.
- Hobby.
This information can also help with the theme of your future date and possible holiday gift.
- Books.
Unfortunately, few people like to read now, and it’s a pity that such a topic is disappearing. Perhaps your new friend is one of those who loves classics or modern literature, ask her about it.
- Favorite places.
These could be cafes, clubs, parks. You can also ask the girl where she likes to spend time and why.
- Trips.
Surely some of you have been somewhere or want to visit. It's time to discuss these places and countries.
- Cats, dogs and other animals.
Girls can talk for hours about their favorites and show off their photos on their phones.
If the correspondence “stalled”
What questions can you ask a girl when corresponding if communication does not work out or is progressing rather difficultly?
- Tell me about your most fun day.
- Ask what country (city) the girl would like to live in and why.
- Ask who the young lady dreamed of becoming as a child.
- Ask what made the girl choose this particular profession (study direction, job).
- Ask what your interlocutor dreams about.
- Ask a question about what kind of fairy-tale hero the girl would like to become if possible.
There are actually a lot of such questions. You just need to use your imagination.
About men
If you start a correspondence with a girl, you also need to clarify how the lady treats members of the opposite sex and whether she is thinking of starting close communication with guys in the near future. The answer is important, because the future of the correspondence itself will depend on it. If a girl is hostile towards people of the opposite sex, then you should not waste your time on her. Let's consider what correspondence with girls can be like in this case. Examples of possible questions from your side are given below.
- What character traits do you want to see in a young man? What, in your opinion, do not make a man beautiful?
- Are you ready to visit some interesting place in the near future (hint of a date)?
- How ready are you to change your life in the near future (hint of a serious relationship)?
- What kind of ideal couple is she?
Basic recommendations
To prevent the young man you like from becoming self-absorbed when communicating, you need to:
- Be proactive.
- Listen.
- Ask the right questions.
- Show interest in the conversation.
- Choose 1 topic for conversation.
By adhering to these simple rules, a girl of any age can win the attention of a man.
Taboos and forbidden topics
So, we figured out how to start a correspondence with a girl. However, it is worth remembering that it is still very important to maintain communication correctly. So, you should not make various mistakes:
- You should never criticize a lady's shortcomings. This will offend her.
- You can't make fun of her choices (in music, movies, books, etc.).
- You can't talk down to a lady. The conversation should be on equal terms.
- You cannot boast or flaunt your advantages. It's not beautiful.
- When talking to a lady, you should not be rude, swear, or call names. Even if the girl behaves inappropriately. It’s better to just “turn on ignore” and stop communicating.
- You should not ask too frank or even intimate questions at first.
- You cannot promise or offer something without the desire to bring it all to life. Men don't do that.
It is worth noting that correspondence with a girl on VKontakte or another social network can be completely different. Sometimes it happens that, even following all the rules of decency, you cannot strike up an acquaintance with a girl. No problem! No need to be upset. You just need to continue to look for your destiny, without focusing on failures.
Which topics are best to avoid?
Now you have a rough idea of what to talk about with a girl in a given situation. But it’s also worth considering which conversations should not be started under any circumstances:
- Gossip and rumors. Never tell her other people's words, gossip and rumors. Firstly, for a man to have such conversations is not respectable. Secondly, it is not a fact that the information you transmit is 100% reliable. By spreading rumors, you risk appearing to girls as a strange man and they will no longer trust you.
- Health. In general, it is not customary to talk about illnesses with strangers, so avoid the topic of your or her health. Otherwise, you risk making girls feel sorry for themselves. And if you complain about your health or put her in an uncomfortable position, the date may be your last.
- Policy. This is a sensitive topic, and therefore the conversation is likely to be one in which it is difficult to achieve agreement. Political conversations also often lead to quarrels, so you shouldn’t touch on them.
- Religion. The same as with politics is not a topic for a romantic evening.
- Former. It is also better to avoid this topic, especially if you are ready to talk about your ex, once beloved ladies only in a negative way. Girls are also not always pleased to remember past relationships, so it is better not to touch on this topic.
- Finance. If you don’t want to be branded as mercantile or put the lady in an uncomfortable position, then don’t touch on “slippery” topics that affect the financial situation of one of you.
- Problems. Do not discuss girls’ problems and try not to complain about unpleasant situations and problems in your personal life.
- Job. You can chat about work casually, but don’t get carried away or go deep. It is not recommended to talk to a young lady about work, even if this topic is very interesting to you.
- Don't brag. Girls, at least adequate ones, do not like braggarts, so when talking about anything, try not to sound like boasting.
Take all this into account if you want to make a positive impression on your loved one.
What to write to a girl in the first message: original examples
It’s easier to talk to a girl you like on the Internet than in real life. In a couple of clicks you can find out everything about her: where she works or studies, what her hobbies are, what films she watches and what music she listens to. But what should you write to her in the first message in contact so that the girl will pay attention and want to continue the conversation? In our article we will talk about what must be in the first message and what should not be there, and at the end of the article you will find several examples of successful online dating...
Preparing for dating: a few important rules
Before starting a correspondence you need to:
- Tidy up your page. We choose a good avatar, fill out the “About Me” section, publish beautiful photos, etc.
- Choose a girl. We choose a girl from our city, weed out fake accounts, find common interests, possible topics for conversation.
About how to properly prepare your page on social media. networks to meet and choose the right girl, we described in detail in step-by-step instructions for meeting girls on VKontakte. Be sure to read this article before you start writing your first message.
What should be the first message to a girl: 3 main questions
The first message should be brief, but should directly or indirectly answer the 3 main questions that will definitely arise in the head of any girl after she reads your “Hello”.
These are the questions:
- Who are you: what is your name, how did you find her online;
- Purpose of meeting: to communicate, have fun, go on a date;
- The reason why you chose her: what you have in common, what you liked about her.
The order of these points may vary depending on the situation.
The main task of the first message is to interest the girl, make her pay her attention to you. To do this, you don’t need to write a whole sheet of text or come up with complex greetings. 1-2 correctly selected simple sentences are enough.
Don't forget to say hello and introduce yourself by the name your friends call you. Avoid overly familiar forms (“Sanyok”, etc.). Yes, your name is already on the page, but the introduction is a simple form of dating etiquette.
Don’t know what excuse to come up with for communication? The desire to communicate is already an excellent excuse for the first message. Do not intimidate a girl by talking about your desire to start a family and have children, even if you are really looking for a future spouse.
Carefully look through her page - pay attention to books, music, films and public pages. How is a girl different from others? What is she proud of? What unites you?
Write that you saw on her page a photo from a recent concert of your favorite band or that you noticed a selection of Nolan’s works in her videos. Show her that she is not just another girl to whom you “copy-paste” prepared text, but that she is special. She will at least become interested in what kind of person you are if you point out your common interests, and she will want to continue communication.
Examples of good phrases for dating
Here are 3 original examples from life of starting a conversation on VK that can be used as a sample.
Example 1. A beautiful compliment is an original start to a conversation
- Hi, Olya! My name is Vadim. I accidentally came across your page and wanted to get to know you. The smile on the avatar is too charming
