Imagine that you dropped into a cafe after work, saw a pretty girl at a table and fell in love at first sight...
The heart is beating faster, the eyes cannot tear themselves away from her sweet face, and it seems that there is not a single coherent thought left in her head.
But what next? Sit down at her table and try to start a conversation? Stand behind her and see how she follows her on social media? Pass a note through the waiter?
It's difficult to say which of these options is best. It all depends on the girl and your personal qualities - sense of humor, charisma, self-confidence.
A modest quiet man, an ordinary guy, a self-confident pick-up artist - we have prepared three tips for each of these types of men. These tips will help you play to your strengths effectively.
But that's not all. At the end of the article, the most inquisitive will find a universal method that will make any girl pay attention to you.
Intrigued? Then let's begin.
Signs of attention that every woman appreciates
Women need attention.
In fact, anyone needs attention, I'm serious! But women still need a little more, because, damn it, they are women! Even if you're an awesome boyfriend, you can always improve, right? And if you have a problem understanding women, this article should help you.
Welcome and goodbye kisses
Nothing helps us feel more at home than a kiss from a loved one in the morning and goodbye. Agree that this is nice for you, and how nice it is for a girl! When your lady leaves for work or when she returns home, greeting her with a kiss is one of the great ways to maintain a cordial relationship. The warm and friendly effect of these kisses reminds us of the time when our ancestors were apes, and showed their affection by examining them for small parasites. A welcome kiss means “I'm glad to see you,” and a farewell kiss means “I'll miss you.”
Snuggle up to each other
If you say something like “this is all calf tenderness, men do not lie in an embrace with their young ladies, wrapping them in a beard,” I will tell you that you are categorically wrong. Hugs are a key factor in a healthy relationship. If you find it unpleasant to hug more than once a day, your relationship cannot be called normal. Even the touchy one wants to hug and feel a loved one next to her more often. All this talk about how hugs prolong life is not a fairy tale.
Do nice little things
No girl will refuse a bouquet of flowers. The main thing, of course, is to choose those flowers that the girl really likes, so as not to make a mistake, otherwise the surprise may not be entirely pleasant.
Of course, not only flowers are the only joy for women’s eyes. Write her a note on paper and put it in her jacket, send her a couple of gentle messages on Skype, prepare breakfast, make her coffee, go for a walk with her in the park and draw something funny on the asphalt together with children’s crayons. Buy her her favorite chocolate bar, give her a funny hat, remember when her mom's birthday is. Lots of little things! The main thing is to have imagination, it strengthens relationships with girls.
Notice little things and give compliments
Girls spend a lot of time trying to look their best. They often do all this makeup, manicure, haircuts and other procedures so that people pay attention to them and admire them. Kindly notice this nonsense. Of course, there are women who do all these manipulations only for themselves (yes, man, they really do exist), and there are those who don’t take care of themselves at all.
Noticing a new haircut or that she's wearing a dress is important. The girl tries to look good, and if it really suits her well, you can and should praise her. It is not so difficult to notice that something has changed in a girl. If you don't notice this, there are two logical explanations. First: you don’t see the point in noticing such “little things”, because you are a man, this is not a man’s business, “women love it when everything is harsh and without tenderness” (underline what is appropriate). Second: you don't care about her. Small compliments will go a long way in any relationship.
Wash the dishes
Stop talking about how this is a woman's business. We live in a time when the border is blurring. Did she cook you a nice dinner? Why not wash the dishes afterward? This is a great sign that you truly appreciate all that she does for you, and the food was truly delicious. This is a subtle hint that “she is a woman, not a dishwasher” and stuff like that. After all, imagine she'll have to wash it all. She prepared the food, spent some effort on it, and now she will also have to wash the pots and plates while you sit in front of the computer, full and satisfied. Show some empathy, man!
Help her take off/put on outerwear
Nothing confuses women more than helping with a jacket or coat. You help her take off her jacket and hang it on the hanger. Obviously, she can cope without you, but this is a pleasant “knightly” little thing that will cheer up both you and her. This is from the same opera as opening the door for a lady.
Helping a girl get dressed is also a nice, embarrassing gesture on your part. If you imagine relationships in the form of a strip of the location of members of your squad from some computer game, helping with outerwear adds at least 10 points out of a possible 100.
A girl demands attention: how to devote time to her and show her care?
The key to a strong, reliable relationship between a man and a woman is not only trust, but also care and spending time together.
A girl deprived of her partner’s attention begins to feel useless and abandoned .
The article gives advice on how to correct the situation, describes effective ways on the topic of how to pay attention to a girl.
How to communicate with a girl and what to do to make her fall in love with you? Find out about this from our article.
Advice for ordinary guys
Don’t consider yourself a pickup guru and just want to meet that beauty you’ve met more than once on your way home?
Then these three methods will definitely help you understand how to attract a girl’s attention, and will ensure your first date and not your last.
Don't be a sticky fish
The main mistake men make when dating is banal obsession.
“I made up my mind and finally took the first step. Now she is obliged to respond in kind” - such thoughts force guys to become stubborn sheep who do not understand why the girl does not respond to his advances.
As a reason for conversation, use not your desire to meet, but an event beyond your control.
Go to her table in a cafe: “Hi, I lost a flash drive here somewhere. Haven’t you seen her?/Can you help me with the search?”, “Hello, wasn’t it you I corresponded with on the floristry forum yesterday?”
If you succeed, it will seem to everyone that fate brought you together. But only you will know the real reason for this “accidental” acquaintance.
She has a boyfriend?
Very often, when meeting a girl, you can hear a phrase that puts you in a stupor - “I have a boyfriend.”
What to do next? Believe and give up? Don’t believe and continue communication? In the first case, you will lose the opportunity to meet a girl, in the second, you risk running into a jealous guy.
The situation is not easy, but here you can find a win-win solution. It is enough to find out whether she is telling the truth.
Make jokes about the guy and treat her like a girl you're interested in. Don't be intrusive, show healthy interest and know your worth.
"You have a boyfriend? I hope he doesn’t mind if I steal 5 minutes from you to talk about the weather.”
Just don’t take everything literally and talk about more interesting topics. Reveal your positive sides, and don't forget to get her number or link to her social media profile.
Let's do without tediousness
You should not talk about politics, religion, finance and other serious topics, even if you are like-minded.
The context of such conversations makes the two of you an insignificant part of something big. You need to reveal an interesting and extraordinary personality in yourself, and at the same time show admiration for the girl.
“The Democrats are winning elections again. But, damn it, how can I think about this when I look at such a woman!”
Use this technique to communicate with the beauty you like.
Why doesn't she get enough attention?
If a girl complains that a guy doesn’t pay attention , most likely the relationship has lasted for more than a month.
At the initial stage, a couple in love spends all their free time together.
When feelings and emotions decline a little, men tend to go into work or hobbies. Sometimes - forgetting about the interests of the other half .
The main problem observed in relationships related to attention is the lack of any contact during the day . A loving girl can calmly relate to a man’s workload at work.
But if in a day he hasn’t even sent an SMS, hasn’t spent even five minutes with her on a social network, the girl feels abandoned and unnecessary. And sometimes he even thinks out the reasons for such a disdainful attitude towards himself.
In addition to the lack of direct communication, a girl may notice coldness in her partner’s behavior.
When, when spending time together, a young man is emotionally closed , reluctantly or at length answers questions, does not initiate topics of conversation, does not hug or kiss his beloved.
The detachment of a person nearby raises suspicions ; a woman can think of reasons for such behavior, which does not correspond to the real state of affairs.
Fear of being rejected
The main reason why a guy cannot tell the girl he likes about his feelings directly is the fear that he will be rejected. The interference is quite serious, but you need to deal with your concerns adequately. Even if you do everything in your power and still get a refusal, will it really permanently traumatize your personality? Life will go on and on. Therefore, it makes sense not to pay special attention to fears, because otherwise you will never know how the girl will really react to your confession.
What to do if a girl demands him?
The first step is to listen and take a closer look at your behavior.
Perhaps the man, without noticing it, lost interest in the girl or became closed to conversations, stopped showing feelings and caring.
A man may stop showing love due to difficulties at work or in relationships with friends or parents.
After the girl has expressed her concern about the current situation, you need to analyze the last month of the relationship. Search for the reasons that led to a decrease in time spent together.
In other words, understand yourself. There can be two main reasons:
- Problems that take a lot of time . This is an objective factor. In this case, you should tell the girl about them. If she sincerely loves a man, she will not only listen and motivate him to solve problems, but also offer her help.
And, of course, such a heart-to-heart conversation will eliminate the understatement, since it will reveal the real reasons for the man’s employment.
- Lost interest in the girl. And “things” are just an excuse not to spend time together. In this case, the guy should decide whether he wants to continue dating or whether he should end the relationship. But first, understand why interest has disappeared and whether it is possible to return to the previous level, when hours in the company of your significant other flew by.
After stating your position and calmly explaining the reasons, you need to monitor the girl’s reaction.
If she understands the man’s position and treats him with sincere care and respects him as a person, she will take part, at least emotionally.
At this stage, you can recognize an unpleasant type of girl with a selfish character. Such ladies need not just attention, but daily presence nearby.
They do not want to hear about the difficulties and failures of their partner; they treat him consumeristly in every sense . Including - they claim his main irreplaceable resource - time.
Understand yourself2
If, nevertheless, fears do not leave you, you should find their cause. You are probably worried about your appearance, status, unsociability, or for some other reason. Having identified the moment that worries you, try to somehow correct the situation. It is also worth emphasizing all your advantages, but it is not worth striving for perfection at all - such people are often disliked.
What does it mean to pay attention?
Basically, it’s about actions that demonstrate the importance of a loved one.
Compliments, going to the movies, car rides, even just spending time together on the couch are good ways to show continued interest in your partner.
But it’s worth warning men against that category of girls who demand attention to themselves as the main attribute of a relationship.
In fact, on their part, we are not talking about signs of affection at all, but about affection and dependence. The goal of such ladies is to suppress the will of a man and control him.
Therefore, first of all, it is necessary to understand whether the girl really feels the man’s reduced activity , fading feelings, or is she simply trying to manipulate him and play on feelings of guilt.
Even when dating a normal, adequate woman, you need to remember a sense of proportion. There shouldn’t be too much attention either - otherwise you can ruin relationships and get annoying with your importunity, simultaneously forgetting about work, friends and important matters.
Therefore, there is no need to rush headlong into the pool and spend 24 hours a day with your significant other.
How to show attention to a girl?
There are many ways to show a girl your love and affection .
It is important to pay attention to the little things - short correspondence, calls, SMS.
The main thing is regularity . When there is a rush at work, it is quite possible to spend five minutes on a telephone conversation. It's better to talk for five minutes at the end of the day than not call at all.
You can pay attention in several ways. For simplicity, they are divided by classification:
- Temporary . Spend time together. There are many ways - watching movies at home, walking in the fresh air. The main thing is to be nearby, communicate, exchange thoughts and ideas.
Non-verbal communication is equally important - touching, hugging, kissing.
Even a sudden bouquet of three roses, accompanied by a chocolate bar or a box of chocolates, will delight your partner.
Entertaining . Joint trips to cafes, theater, cinema. This also includes trips to nature, to the country, etc. It is important that the activity is interesting to both partners and equally captivating to each. Joint actions make relationships stronger because they reveal new facets of the partners’ characters and help to get to know your loved one better.
A man often lends his shoulder when his woman needs help and support. It can be expressed both in words and in real actions. Dealing with problems, giving practical advice, becoming mentors in those issues in which the guy is competent is a great way to pay attention. Moreover, such actions show reliability, responsibility and determination in a man - qualities especially valued by the weaker sex.
The methods described in the article really work and can strengthen the connection between loved ones .
In addition, it is important to maintain a balance and not go to extremes - constant presence nearby is just as destructive for a relationship as a lack of proper attention to your loved one.
What to do if a woman manipulates and demands gifts? Anti-manipulation:
Nonverbal communication as a method to decipher feelings4
Body language, gestures, facial expressions will tell about a man’s true feelings just as well as gifts and compliments. It's no secret that lovers' eyes give them away. A man’s energy changes and one feels an inner glow and warmth, peace of mind, and a light half-smile hints to others that he is far in the clouds and is not worried about pressing problems.
When communicating with a man, the first thing you need to pay attention to is posture and body language. When the object of sympathy appears on the horizon, vanity and slight excitement begin, hands do not find a place and often, in order to hide this, a man hides them in his pockets, touches his belt or puts his hands on his waist in order to unconsciously look more confident. Then the man will definitely become dignified, turn his chest and shoulders towards the object of his love.
The body demonstrates confidence and the desire to show itself as an advantageous partner compared to other men. This is not consciously controlled, behavior changes automatically, nature has provided men with mechanisms of unconscious behavior to attract a partner.
Psychologists say that a person transmits about 50% of information using non-verbal signals. And the face reflects all the emotions that the man carefully tries to hide. The eyes always glide over the woman's body, without focusing on the chest. The gaze of a man in love wanders during her conversation with someone, appraising. When a conversation is being conducted with him, the pupils are dilated, and he practically does not take his eyes off his face, looking at his interlocutor for a long time and warmly. The eyebrows rise slightly, the nostrils flare, the breathing becomes deeper.
A gentle smile constantly wanders on his face; the most stern and reserved man smiles with his eyes. The emotions when communicating with the person you are in love with are genuine. A gaze is replaced by constant visual control of the object of love, the desire to be close and to prevent rivals from approaching always takes over.
In addition to facial expressions and body language, you need to pay attention to speech. All signs of a man in love, one way or another, with good self-control can be hidden or disguised. It will take years of practice to mask your speech and completely control your trembling voice. During a conversation, a man tries to make his potential partner laugh; at the first words, his voice trembles treacherously and he wants to clear his throat and slightly lower the timbre of his voice. Smooth and beautiful speech becomes confused, more emotional coloring, details, jokes, and metaphors appear.
At the same time, there is active gesticulation and slight swaying of the body. It is very important that when telling jokes and stories, a man looks at the object of his love and tries to capture her emotions and mood. Nonverbal communication gives strength and desire to behave more relaxed, to take risks and return again to the time when he was a boy and his voice trembled from his first confessions, his palms sweated, and his face constantly changed all shades from snow-white to crimson.
Why do you need male attention?
Almost every woman dresses, puts on makeup, and does her hair for a reason, but for someone. After all, you want someone to like you, to be loved and desired. There is an opinion that the male gaze is necessary as a breath of fresh air. This is why women always want to keep themselves in shape.
A man's gaze gives energy to the weaker sex. Scientists have proven that when a man shows signs of attention towards a girl, endorphin appears in her body, which is regarded as a hormone of happiness. This gives the weaker sex a lot of strength, vitality and good mood.
Standard signs of attention from a man to a girl
Each person, be it a man or a woman, has his own individual character. One can show attention actively, speak everything directly and frankly. The other behaves more passively, fearing for the words spoken. However, all men are capable of giving compliments. Women love with their ears, and most representatives of the stronger sex know this.
Men give flowers. This is standard courtship that will not leave any woman indifferent. However, before you give a bouquet, find out what flowers the girl likes.
Many men give gifts, because it’s no secret that girls love surprises. This could be jewelry, soft toys, candy.
Many men give perfumes or cosmetics. However, do not forget that it is better for a girl to choose these things herself. Before you give them, you must be sure that they are suitable for the lady.
If you want a girl to remember you from time to time, give her an indoor flower. This is a great gift. When she waters it and takes care of it, she will always remember you. Beautiful paintings or figurines will regularly remind the girl of your relationship.
It is not necessary to show your attention with expensive gifts, an invitation to a movie or a restaurant. Many women don't need this. Respect her and she will give you the same respect.
Does a woman always need compliments?
Girls like beautiful words. However, do not forget that they must be from the heart. A woman feels flattery immediately.
For a girl, a person’s attitude towards her is very important. A woman loves compliments, but she must see sincerity in your eyes. Even in intonation, a lady is able to sense falsehood.
Creativity in compliments is very important for a girl. Tell her about her hairstyle or dress. A girl will be pleased with such a compliment, because she tried to create her image for your sake.
Original signs of attention
If you want to give a gift to a girl, then make it unusual. Originality is the first thing you can do to surprise your loved one.
Give her a surprise. If a girl likes practical gifts, then the present can be related to household appliances. Of course, first it is advisable to find out what exactly your beloved wants. Her friends will be happy to tell you.
As a rule, many men invite the girl they like on a date to a cafe or restaurant. You can make the date unusual. For example, invite her to the theater or the circus. Perhaps your loved one will like an amusement park. Even adults love to have fun like children.
Almost every person will enjoy boating or motorboating. Invite the girl to spend her leisure time on the water. Take provisions with you and set sail. After such a walk you feel tired, but it is very pleasant. Such entertainment will raise you in the eyes of your beloved.
Serenades under the window used to be in fashion. Why not take advantage of the hint from the past? After all, at that time men knew how to surprise and conquer women! Come with a guitar and sing a heart-warming song under the window. Few will remain indifferent after the serenade.
Write a poem for your beloved. Girls like such original signs of attention. After all, it’s not every day that poems are written in her honor.
Remain attentive to your chosen one at any time. Try not to push her away, help her in everything, support her. Make your chosen one's life varied. A man who shows original signs of attention has a better chance of winning a lady.
A little about obsession
Very often, signs of attention from a man are too intrusive. This can irritate a girl.
This manifests itself when a man can call many times a day or write letters on social networks. Many ladies don't like this behavior. Therefore, the relationship that the young man dreams of does not work out.
When a date doesn’t work out, try not to write or call that day, but give your loved one time. She must miss you. Only then will the lady understand how much she misses your attention and courtship.
Obsession will not lead to good things. After all, every person should have his own personal life. Your chosen one also wants to have personal space.
Married and in love5
A man free from a permanent relationship is always open to communication, is not afraid to show emotions, is open and frank in his feelings.
It happens that a married man begins to feel sympathy and love. Naturally, he behaves closed and in the presence of his other half tries to completely control himself. Holding on constantly and not showing interest even with the slightest gesture or glance will not work. Married men also have signs of falling in love:
- shows interest in personal problems and concerns, offers help, contacts with specialists, or is ready to solve the problem with his own hands;
- tries to do business together, gives rides after work, helps carry heavy things, offers to have lunch together;
- gives small surprises, gifts or other signs of attention;
- does not hesitate to lie to his wife in front of the object of his sympathy;
- when the person of interest appears, he becomes poised, twirls a key or a ring on his finger in his hands, his hands are free to move or hold on to the belt;
- tries to be closer and reduce the distance.
