What should you write in your first message to a girl on a dating app to get a response? This question worries, if not all, then most guys.
- Gadgets How to become the king of Tinder: much needed instructions from a professional
Let's face it - getting a match with a stranger you like is nice, but it won't do much good if you don't start communicating.
It’s hardly possible to get answers from every match, but if you hardly or never get answers at all, then you don’t need to despair - you just need to change your approach, and conversations will begin to start much more often.
So, what should you write to a girl in the first message and what phrases should you forget about forever? Now we'll tell you.
Purpose of correspondence
Before I tell you what to write to a girl you like, I'll ask a question to make sure we're thinking in the same direction.
How do you want her to kiss you the next time you interact? Smiley face or real lips?
Obviously you want the latter. (I hope). Real communication is much more interesting and better than virtual communication.
The real purpose of texting is to meet, not to drag out conversations that go nowhere. Don't lose sight of the end goal.
Standard Guy Mistakes
During communication, men make a lot of mistakes. The most common:
- Selfishness and selfishness are repulsive. When a guy talks only about himself, it causes irritation.
- Obsession is repulsive. Some men turn a pleasant conversation into an interrogation. They throw out a bunch of questions, discouraging the desire to answer. The conversation should be slow and measured. One follows from the other.
- Banality kills. Using cliched phrases and boring tricks is a surefire way to get blacklisted. Avoid pick-up artist stereotypes.
Talking to girls online can be difficult. To do this, you need to learn to understand people and expand your communication skills. This approach will help you find a common language with women.
When to text a girl
Once you have a girl's phone number, you must write to her within 24 hours. Not later than.
Why?
Because if you wait more than a day, she will decide that she is not interested in you and will switch her attention to other events in her life. And when you show up in a couple of days, she won’t need it anymore.
It wasn’t such a super-exciting acquaintance that you had that she would sit and sigh for several days, thinking about you and abandoning everything. True, if you are Bradley Cooper, you can show up in at least a month, she will be happy. But only in this case.
Modern life is very mobile and hectic, many new events happen during the day, and you will get out of your head. And then she will not want to communicate again with a person who disappears from the radar for a long time.
And it’s very easy to write an SMS. Why not do it while she remembers you and while you both are interested?
Dominate or please
Many gorgeous girls are looking for a strong, domineering man, next to whom they can feel like a weak princess. Therefore, be persistent, be a little arrogant, but polite. Try to immediately go ahead and write “You are a gorgeous girl, write your number, we’ll call you and get to know each other better.” But there is one nuance here - go back to your profile, is the photo showing a confident guy who can conquer the world? No? Urgently look for a good photographer or change your clothing style and hairstyle. A girl may react warily to such a statement and slight impudence, BUT she will definitely answer.
If such tactics are alien to you and you are more romantic by nature, take it with compliments and refined communication. But beware of platitudes, there is no need for “You are beautiful”, “Super photo”. If you want to give a compliment about your appearance, don’t write “You look great,” but try to interest them by asking the question: “How many men have you already conquered with your beauty? I think I'm one of them."
Pay attention to the features of the girl’s profile, give compliments that relate to her, and not to all representatives of beauty. Note her manicure, clothes, hairstyle. Then the girl will see that you are interested in her.
First message
Your first message should be informative and positive. Identify yourself and remind us who you are:
"Hello Yana. This is Alexander, we met at the exhibition today”;
“Hello Olga, this is Yaroslav. Oksana introduced us yesterday.”
Looking ahead, I’ll say - don’t always respond to a girl’s messages right away. Mix your answers - fast, slow, long-short. This will force her to constantly check her phone and wait for an answer.
And further. Don't suddenly fall silent and wait for a reaction. Maybe earlier, when SMS was paid, and the Internet was only via a wire from a modem, this was an effective way. Nowadays, everyone has a gadget with the Internet at their fingertips around the clock. And the fact that you don’t answer means only one thing for the girl - you don’t want to.
Well, you know, who would want to be the one they remember every few days out of boredom.
Preparation of the questionnaire
Before writing to a girl, prepare a profile on a dating site:
- There should not be a lot of personal information.
- Please indicate your real age.
- Don't hide your marital status. Marriage, a relationship with another girl cannot be hidden. This will definitely come out during communication, so why ruin the beginning of the relationship, it will be difficult to regain trust. So write that you are disappointed in your soulmate and are in search, but have not yet broken off past ties.
- Real photo on the avatar. At the same time, remove photos from your profile that create a negative image (drunk, with a sloppy background, with a naked torso).
What to text with a girl about
Your SMS communication will consist of 2 main things:
- stories, often about yourself;
- questions.
Let's look at each of them in detail. What questions can you ask a girl in correspondence?
Ask questions that will evoke emotions in the girl and, as a result, ATTRACT her. The more emotions she gives you, the more important you become in her life.
This will be indicated by longer answers, a large number of emoticons, and frequent “ahaha” (an indicator of high spirits).
Now let's get back to the questions. Try to integrate them organically into the conversation, rather than dumping an endless stream of them into it. Comment yourself, ask clarifying questions, write your opinion in response.
Avoid creating an interview situation. These are direct questions like:
"what's new?";
“What did you do today?”;
“What is your specialty?”, and so on.
All answers assume that she must report to you for the work done. It's annoying.
“Forbidden” questions also include stupid questions like
“Do you like watching movies?”;
“Do you like it when they give gifts?”
to which the answer is obvious.
As for the “right” questions, the site has a detailed article that is devoted to this: What to talk about with a girl: 54 smart questions (will open in a new tab).
Don’t forget that the girl may also not know what to write to you. In this case, you can just write her easy questions, but a lot. This is when you see that she answers quickly and with pleasure, but she doesn’t know what to ask.
How to continue the conversation if she answered?
What should I write to a girl on VKontakte or another social network if she is interested in a guy and responds to the message? Don’t get lost and ask her out on a date as soon as possible before someone else beats you to it!
Just come up with something original - for example, bowling, an ice skating rink or horseback riding. A cinema, theater and cafe are banal and not suitable for a first date. You won’t be able to socialize at the cinema or theater, and gastronomic get-togethers may not be affordable for you - you don’t yet know what delicacies a girl might be tempted by.
Force events quickly, otherwise you will remain stuck in virtual communication. However, cautious girls may not immediately agree to a meeting. So, give her a little time, and at the same time try to find out as much as possible about her by continuing the correspondence.
What questions can you ask a girl in correspondence?
1. Ask questions about her views, for example:
“What repels/attracts you most in people? What is the quality?"
“What do you think is the biggest disappointment in growing up?”, and so on.
2. If the girl had some event to take place, then ask how it went. Anyone who cares about oneself will really like it.
But, really, instead of another “report”: “What time did you get home from the conference yesterday,” it’s better to ask: “How was the conference?”
3. Find a common interest: TV series, sports, music, games, travel. Ask open-ended questions, those that cannot be answered in monosyllables, then it will be easier for you to find common ground. For example:
“Which countries have you visited? Where did you like the most?”;
“How do you feel about skiing? Riding a bike?
Don't forget to talk about what interests you.
4. Show that you are interested in her opinion. Ask her what she thinks about a new film or some event in your city.
5. Be witty - play, tease. You can use famous quotes as playful questions.
For example, you found out that she is a Game of Thrones fan. Then you can add funny phrases from there:
- if she doesn’t know something: “You don’t know anything, Jon Snow”;
- call her “my lady”;
- if you haven’t been to this establishment before: “Have you never been to North of the Wall?”
Successful themes
It is useful for guys to know what topics they can talk about with a girl. There are quite a lot of them, choose one from the list presented and don’t be afraid to make mistakes. You can change the topic in the chat at any time, the girl herself will tell you what interests her more.
- Psychology of relationships
- Hobbies, interests of a woman
- Achievements in life, at work
- What is love and does it exist?
- Films, actors
- Art (painting, music)
- Rest
- Questions about the past: when I first fell in love, school friends
- Flowers: which ones you like, which ones you don’t?
- Travel dreams
- Books
- Life goals
- Dreams, their meaning
- Favorite cafe, club
As soon as the topic has exhausted itself, switch the dialogue to another. At the same time, you should not show boredom in discussions or answer in monosyllables. Show real interest, ask questions, react violently to the girl’s emotional outbursts or stories about her secret past.
What to write to a girl in messages and about yourself
1. DO NOT write that the day was boring, nothing interesting happened. Even if this is indeed the case, it is not interesting to anyone and is uninformative.
Instead of saying something like, “I'm just bored, so I decided to text you,” say:
“I just returned home from a crazy and stressful day at the office. So happy that I finally have time to relax. How was your day?"
This will make it clear that you are a busy man who works hard and has serious goals in life. This is exactly what women want.
2. Make more jokes; if you don’t know how, watch comedy shows and stand-ups and learn how to do it. Don't forget to use humor even when talking about yourself.
If a girl does not respond to messages, then you will be interested in the analysis in this article Why a girl does not respond to messages: the dark truth (opens in a new window).
3. It is also good if you use the following phrases:
“I was thinking about you”, “You are special to me”, “I am interested in talking to you about everything.”
4. Don't be afraid to appear stupid and make fun of yourself.
“You’ll laugh when you find out how much I messed up now,”
“I have never had such a stupid situation!”
This is both intriguing and positive. The ability to laugh at yourself is a quality of a confident person. And confident men are the sexiest for women.
5. As for your person, girls are interested in looking at photographs of you (not old ones), of what happened to you, or what you photographed right now.
This dilutes communication, making you an interesting and open interlocutor. By sending your photos, you make her a participant in your life. In response, the girl will also begin to behave more freely, feeling a close person in you.
6. If some interesting situation happened to you during the day, you can present it as an intrigue:
“You can’t even imagine what I had to go through today...”
Let her try to figure it out for herself first.
7. Try to remember the details that she tells about her family and colleagues. Then you can draw parallels between your life and hers, remembering this.
8. One of the mistakes guys make is to stop communicating after a meeting date has been set. When you are silent, girls begin to scroll through different scenarios in their heads, doubt their decisions and, in the end, either cancel the meeting or come to it with a negative attitude.
It doesn’t cost anything to write: “Have a nice day! I hope your plans for tonight are still in place?”
Even a short message will make it clear that you are thinking about her and you are not indifferent to her.
Conversation order
A man must clearly understand what to talk about with an interesting girl on the Internet. First, the guy decides why he communicates with her:
- for serious relationships;
- for the sake of gaining new sexual experience;
- to broaden your horizons and improve communication skills.
There are a number of rules that are best adhered to in all conversations:
- Optimistic. Guys are mostly realists. You can start a conversation with an interesting girl using humor and interesting sayings. A proper combination of jokes and compliments will be a good start to a strong friendship.
- Literacy. Ladies prefer men who can express their thoughts competently. A message without spelling errors will help you stand out. Many people forget about the rules of the Russian language and actively use modern jargon. This should be avoided when talking to a girl on social networks.
- Politeness. Girls like men who can carry themselves with dignity during a conversation. When starting a conversation with a stranger, you should show respect. The lady will like the gallantry of the gentleman. Such men stand out favorably against the background of banal interlocutors.
- Intrigue. A guy must learn to intrigue his interlocutor. You can't tell everything about yourself. The first message, consisting of a detailed description of one's own achievements, only causes laughter. This is appropriate in a resume, but not in correspondence with a woman. There are many examples of incorrect communication with a girl on the Internet. They should be avoided and not used as templates.
- Diversity. People with a broad outlook are attracted. It is more interesting to communicate with a traveler, poet, businessman than with a modest football fan. It is worth living brightly and on a grand scale. Rich experience increases the chances of successful communication on the Internet.
- Showing interest. A man should be interested in the life of his interlocutor. Without showing gestures of attention, the conversation will not last long. Selfishness is true evil.
- Communication offline. You can conduct a conversation using messages and a mobile phone. Talking on a cell phone will be a good step towards a fulfilling life together.
READ How to start a conversation with a girl on VK: suitable phrases
Where to start communication
It is worth understanding how to properly communicate with the chosen girl on the Internet. Any conversation begins with a welcoming word. You need to say hello and introduce yourself. There is no need to write a huge monograph. 2-3 sentences are enough to sink into the heart of your interlocutor.
Template sayings “Hello, beautiful” and others are thrown into the trash. This is sent to spam. Girls read a hundred banal messages a day, so patterns have to be broken.
It’s worth starting a conversation in an original and unobtrusive way. An example of a phrase to start a conversation with a girl on VKontakte: “Hello. I’m used to wandering the Internet; after all, my work is closely connected to the network. Suddenly I came across such an original profile. I liked the photos and couldn't pass them by. I dream of communicating and getting to know each other better.”
The message can be the perfect template. Everything is correct here. Polite communication, intrigue associated with work activity. In addition, there are compliments related to beauty and hobbies. It is impossible to pass by them.
When establishing contact, you need to identify common interests. Finding common ground will become a springboard for further relationships.
How to make your interlocutor talk
To properly communicate with a girl on social networks, you need to learn to understand a person’s mood. If the answers are cold and unemotional, it is better to leave your partner alone. You should end the conversation on a positive note and “go about your business.” In a similar way, the guy shows that he has a personal space into which he does not allow everyone.
The conversation should be maintained with the help of interesting phrases and unusual information. You need to talk about yourself in moderation. You should be more interested in the life of your interlocutor.
READ How to meet a girl on the Internet: rules and advice for guys
Girls love to chat on the Internet about topics related to their interests. With the right approach and selection of the right words, beauties will write about their own everyday life for days. For example, a phrase to start a conversation with a girl online is: “Hi. I see you have works of your own on your wall. How long have you been doing this? I wonder how talented writers live?”
It all depends on your hobby. You can determine it by the page. If your interlocutor does not have a hobby, then you should attract her with the help of flattery and compliments. Such hooks allow you to prolong the discussion of any issue.
Talking about the latest world events will brighten up the awkward silence. You shouldn’t think about where to start the right conversation with a girl. You need to use the power of social networks wisely. Many ways are creative and will freshen up the most boring correspondence.
Topics for conversation
You can’t think for a long time about how to properly start communicating with a girl on a dating site. We need to act immediately and immediately.
After making the first contact, it's time to start conversations on specific topics. You can talk to a girl about anything when you meet her. There are no bad topics, just uninteresting presentation.
First you need to determine the interests of your interlocutor. There are a number of template questions that are suitable for discussion:
- Mass culture. It will be very useful to find out your favorite films from a new friend. The information received will help you choose a place for your first date. Musical preferences need to be discussed. Music lovers can talk at length about their favorite bands. Many women read literature, so poetry and prose can be discussed. Conversations about art will show a man at his best. Women like educated interlocutors. Intelligence is a modern criterion of sexuality.
- Sports achivments. When meeting a girl on social networks, you should ask if she goes to the gym. Women often attend sporting events. You have the opportunity to meet an interesting person at a marathon or on a treadmill.
- Everyone has family and friends. You need to find out about them in advance. During a conversation, you should not be shy to ask about relatives. If you are planning a serious relationship, it is better to immediately remember the birth dates of your parents. It's normal to be interested in your crush's life, but it's important not to be intrusive or pester you with excessive questioning. A conversation on social networks is not an interrogation, but normal communication.
- Pets attract many girls. To some extent, young ladies show maternal instinct towards animals. To get a friend to like you, a guy should ask her about the difficulties of caring for a pet.
- sex , but you cannot start communicating with a girl on a dating site with intimacy, as this will scare her away. However, after several conversations on different topics, it is worth using the erotic joker. Many women like open men who can talk about taboo topics. But you should not go too far and not switch to outright vulgarity.
How to keep a conversation going
The most difficult part of communication is maintaining interest in yourself. Some believe that just starting a conversation is enough to establish contact. Unfortunately, it is not. The guy has to be creative all the time.
It’s worth keeping the conversation going with stories about yourself, compliments and discussion of various topics. You can’t get hung up on one topic and dwell on it all the time. The girl will quickly get bored with such communication on the Internet.
To make it interesting, talk about different things. Switch from one story to another. Do it smoothly but decisively.
Be sure to insert humor into the dialogue. It is refreshing and increases interest. But if you feel like it’s time to call it a day, it’s worth mastering the art of ending a conversation.
How to end a conversation
It’s impossible to say for sure how to properly communicate with an attractive girl on the Internet. There are many pitfalls. The hard part of the conversation is the end.
READ How to meet a girl on VK: where to start, examples of correspondence
Sometimes a conversation goes on for too long and needs to be interrupted. This needs to be done correctly so as not to offend your friend. Abruptly leaving the network when the conversation is not completed is rude. Men don't act like that.
To attract female attention, just write the following: “I like talking to you. Unfortunately, there are still unfinished personal matters. I hope you understand everything and are not offended.” A girl cannot resist a real romantic who does not leave in English.
Compliments
I highlighted it as a separate point specifically to attract attention. In general, compliments are a rather subtle and deep thing. It may look like a simple phrase, but the girl will rejoice over it.
Try to include them in your speech more often. But not directly, but indirectly, for example:
“You surprised me just now,” “Did you REALLY do that?” “Will you ever show this to me?”, “Damn, you are so (beautiful, kind, attentive...).”
“I like the way you reason. So wise and thoughtful,” “I’ve never seen anyone make friends so easily. You're so sweet and friendly."
They seemed to praise, were surprised, admired, but without all those cloying “You’re smart!”
Maybe,
