Do girls like modest and shy guys: how to behave and what to do

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All psychological problems come from childhood. Contrary to popular belief, modesty is a character trait that interferes with living and building social and personal relationships normally. Today it is difficult to predict how successfully a modest guy will be able to adapt to society. Sometimes this quality becomes a serious obstacle to success.

The Nature of Modesty

The person has a high level of emotionality. All our experiences are reflected in everyday life. Each emotion manifests itself differently in the human body. When experiencing fear, a person feels a chill in the stomach and dizziness. Aggression is reflected in muscle contractions. Modesty causes a whole stream of strange sensations. For a shy person, life is one continuous test. He is in constant nervous tension and feels normal only in a familiar, standard environment for his psyche.

Modesty is not defined as a mental disorder, but it does lead to a number of problems.

Modest guys often remain “on the other side of the barricades.” They are underestimated, not heard and not noticed, which is basically what they are trying to achieve. However, over time, a moment comes when you want banal affection and praise, but there is simply no person who understands your feelings, aspirations, experiences.

Loneliness for such a guy becomes the norm of life. Excessive modesty does not allow a person to advance in life and leaves merits in work unnoticed. Even having a family does not save you from shyness. Modest young people fall in love with a powerful woman who resembles a mother. The manifestation of this character trait is influenced by 2 factors.

• Heredity.
• Wrong upbringing.

Overcoming shyness in childhood is much easier. A character trait that has not yet acquired phobias, self-doubt and other complexes is easily modeled into the correct behavioral reaction.

The main reason for manifestations of hyper-embarrassment is the omission of parents. The child does not know how to react to surrounding factors and expresses this in his own way.

Usually any irritants cause a storm of emotions and hysterics. Under the influence of a hyper-shy parent or an overly domineering one, an incorrect picture of the world is formed. The child is afraid of people, of other people's assessments. The main component of modesty is fear. The older a person gets, the more he realizes his inferiority. He is not able to start a conversation with his peers, he sits at home all the time when they are walking and learning about the world through trial and error. A modest guy doesn’t have this opportunity.

What if he doesn’t hide his love?

Despite stereotypes about determined guys, girls often have to take matters into their own hands and be the first to take the initiative. What to do if the girl herself is not ready to overcome her shyness and take the first step? All that remains is to carefully observe and try to understand whether it is worth hoping for something more and making far-reaching plans. Because we girls love plans very much, and we don’t want them to end up as ordinary castles in the air. Let's answer the question together about how a guy in love behaves and try to figure out all his hidden signals

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First, let's talk about the most obvious and most noticeable signs that guys give us - yes, not only girls are engaged in this activity. The only difference is that we do this consciously, and men sometimes don’t even control their actions towards the fair sex, which is what they show themselves to be. Think well, maybe everything is clear without any hidden signs

? If a guy devotes a lot of time to you, is constantly near you, starts the conversation himself and gives a lot of compliments

- these are obvious signs of sympathy. Does it seem like nothing could be simpler? But no: many girls simply cannot immediately accept such luck, so they do not take signs of sympathy seriously. But if everything is not so obvious, the next part of the article is for you.

Psychological portrait of a modest guy

The first characteristic feature of shy men is isolation, which is provoked by fear of society. She shows a reluctance to start conversations. Discomfort in communication forces a person to withdraw into his own imaginary world. If the interlocutor is active and in the mood for communication, he is able to bring the silent person out of his stupor.

The second characteristic feature of a modest guy is awkwardness. She practically never leaves the modest guy. Engaged in regular self-examination, a person does not find any positive qualities in himself. It is awkward for a person to be even in a familiar circle. Due to the lack of communication experience, the guy is afraid to do or say something unnecessary.

Critical self-analysis is a characteristic feature of the psychological portrait of a modest man. A person constantly analyzes himself and what is happening. He creates his own comfortable world, consisting of a continuous chain of assessments, unclear judgments, and attitudes.

Modesty is defined as a structural component of personality that brings discomfort, reduces the quality of life, and interferes with a person’s development in society.

Behavioral characteristics of a modest guy:

• not suitable to be the first to meet;
• rarely engages in conversation;
• shows almost no emotions;
• rarely goes out with peers;
• mostly communicates with girls on social networks or via SMS messages;
• dependent on other people's opinions;
• always looks good, neatly dressed.

Mistakes when raising shy boys

In childhood, it is important not to miss the moment, otherwise shyness will remain a constant companion in the boy’s life. The first signs of modesty are noted already at the age of 2, when, at the sight of strangers, the boy hides behind his mother or does not raise his eyes. Everything foreign and unknown looks frightening to him and causes a storm of emotions. In addition to behavioral reactions, the child experiences increased fatigue.

In such a child, during development, the thought process prevails over physical activity.

The child is unable to express his emotions either verbally or figuratively, which negatively affects his mental state and general health. The modest boy is touchy and in a bad mood almost all the time. A child can behave relaxed only next to his mother or in the most comfortable situation for him.

In kindergartens and schools, such children rarely open up, practically do not communicate with their peers, and sit silently in the corner.

With overly developed modesty, the child begins to fear society. Going to the store can cause a panic attack. This is an extreme case. To prevent the development of hypermodesty, consult a neurologist. Communicate more with your child, do not close him off from the world. Enroll in an early development group of 3-5 people. This will allow the child to learn to communicate with peers and attract the attention of the teacher.

In kindergarten, usually modest children do not have the opportunity to express themselves. Few teachers call the kids to action a second time, citing the fact that there are too many children in the group. This is another reason for the development of complexes in children, when more active peers take part in all programs, and the rest act as mute spectators.

The child must be involved in the life processes of society. Try several circles at once. Choose the one that he likes most. He needs people to surround him. This could be dancing, drawing, modeling, gymnastics. Modest people perform well in sports and creativity.

Pay close attention to his body language

We have already talked about how to see obvious signs of attention and recognize love in a completely closed guy. But what if he behaves completely normally: he doesn’t show his cards to you, but he doesn’t mask his feelings with the utmost caution? This is the most difficult case when you will have to be as attentive as possible and catch all the signals coming from him, even if he did not try to send them.

Without exception, all guys, like girls, subconsciously signal their sympathy for a person

. This can include involuntary timid glances that you throw at each other against your own will. Trembling knees and slurred speech, a deep blush on the cheeks... But there are also less obvious signs that also relate to body language.

If a guy likes you, he will subconsciously reveal

all their movements are towards you. Imagine that you are communicating in a large, lively company: no matter who he talks to or who he addresses, if there is sympathy, the toes of his shoes will definitely be turned in your direction. This applies not only to shoes, but to hands and posture in general - it will be directed at you

, as if conducive to an open conversation.

In addition, a guy in love always unconsciously repeats the facial expressions of his object of desire

– smiles, frowns, bites his lip, and so on. But even if you haven’t noticed any of the signs described in the article, don’t despair: all guys are different, and they also show their feelings in different ways. One day you will definitely notice something that will mark the beginning of a sincere and trusting relationship between you.

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Video: What a girl looks like through the eyes of a guy in love

Attention, TODAY only! At school age, almost everyone hides the feelings that arise in relation to one or another classmate or neighbor.

This is repeated more than once or twice, and over time this secrecy becomes a habit.

It has been noticed that men in general are noticeably shyer than women.

However, it's not just shyness. There is also usually uncertainty and fear present.

The nuances of communicating with a modest man

Due to the lack of information among parents, and sometimes experience and qualified specialists, a wide variety of complexes flourish in our world. It rarely occurs to anyone to “treat shyness” in childhood: a modest child looks cute. But when he grows up, his problems are not “nice” at all. If a guy is too shy and doesn’t communicate much with others, this does not mean that he does not experience a standard set of feelings. He, like everyone else, needs the love and affection of a woman.

In a relationship with such a guy, you will have to take on the main role. The first step is to make sure that he really likes you. This will be noticeable in your behavior. When he meets you, he lowers his eyes, blushes, and during a conversation he cannot string together two words, but in messages he scribbles entire pages.

Shy guys look well-groomed, they are often handsome and pumped up.

For such a person, everything about his appearance is important. Every time he thinks that he is not good enough, so he constantly tries to improve himself. At first glance, a girl cannot understand why such a handsome man stays alone. And in his soul there is a hive of complexes, and he is afraid of the girl he likes like a natural disaster.

The key to starting a relationship is trusting communication. Eliminate mocking tone and criticism. Try to communicate calmly and adequately perceive his humor (remember that he has little experience in communication). With your help, a young man will be able to discover facets of character that he himself did not know about. He will feel more confident in public and will be more open.

Shy men make good husbands.

But it is necessary that the first experience of communicating with a woman becomes positive, and does not end in a fiasco. Defeat will only strengthen his inferiority complex. It is important to understand that pathological modesty is the result of long-term work; the complex was cultivated like a flower and it will be difficult to eradicate it.

A woman should not be too persistent. The first sexual experience for such guys is also very stressful, so you should be careful when leading a shy boyfriend to this moment. For him, the first kiss on the cheek, a light touch of the hand - a whole stream of emotions, strange and unexpected.

What not to do

If you notice clear signs that your communication is moving to a new level and you are one step away from the official status of his girlfriend, consider what mistakes you need to avoid.

1. Don't offer sex first. Even the shyest young man will find an opportunity to hint about his desire for a close relationship. Your initiative in this matter may simply frighten him away.
2. Don't start serious conversations about your status in his life. Remember, men don't like to talk about relationships. They prefer to show their feelings through actions rather than words.
3. Don't be intrusive. Don't forget, if isolation is a character trait of a young person, you are dealing with an introvert. And they need to periodically take a break from society. Be understanding about this feature and give your boyfriend personal space.
4. Don't try to make him jealous on purpose. Men don’t like to sort things out, and introverts even more so. In addition, such behavior can dramatically change a guy's opinion of you in a negative direction.

Calmness is a hallmark of closed people. It guarantees the absence of constant scandals and quarrels. This is why girls love shy guys. If you behave correctly, you can build very comfortable relationships with such young people.

Rules for dealing with a shy boyfriend or husband

Contrary to popular belief, the man is not the head of the family. Without a supportive, inspiring woman, no man could achieve success in life. Behind many successful businessmen, politicians, historical and cultural figures who built their success bit by bit from scratch, there is a woman. In the case of a modest man, you will have to sweat a little more.

The rules of behavior with a shy man will be useful to every girl.

• Do not put too much pressure on your chosen one, otherwise he will withdraw into himself even more.
• Be attentive to his problems, but don't get hung up on them. Slowly and smoothly lead him to the idea that he is attractive and important to you.
• Point out his positive qualities. Never use your ex-boyfriends as an example, otherwise you will completely kill his trust and self-esteem.
• Show him that he is in charge and you feel secure around him. Let him feel like a real man, strong, confident, who can possess his woman and seek her attention.
• Refuse to make any claims. Be clear about his responsibilities every time.
• Spend time together, take it with you when you meet friends, to the gym. A person needs to see an example, understand how to communicate with people.
• Learn to support him and demand the same attitude towards yourself. Show him that in a relationship it is important to focus not only on your problems.

If you dig deeper, modesty is akin to egocentrism.

A person is fixated on his fear and tries to do everything to ensure his own comfort. But a self-centered person does not want to realize his problem, while a modest person considers it a pathology. A woman’s task is to smoothly lead a man out of the comfort zone where he is used to living. At first it will be a shock, but that’s what a woman is needed to help him survive it.

A modest man is like a blank sheet of paper. You can write whatever you want on it, but you need to get it out of its shell. Inside him lives a driven, sad boy, full of complexes and fears. In this relationship, you will have to play the role of mother and sexual partner in one person. The point is not to copy the image of his own mother, but to quickly learn the basics of communication and life in general. You need to become a guru for him, help build a new unknown world in which there will be no place for old attitudes.

Which women make men the most shy around?

There are basically two reasons for a guy’s shyness: either he cares about the girl, or he’s afraid of her.

If the boss is a scandalous person, then feeling constrained when she appears is a normal reaction. A man does not want to cause “fire” on himself with his behavior and fall under the hot hand.

Young people are often embarrassed at the sight of beautiful young ladies. They involuntarily compare themselves with her: life achievements, wealth, even appearance. Therefore, against the backdrop of independent and successful girls, men feel inferior, although this is not at all the case.

How a character trait develops and manifests itself

Every phenomenon usually has two sides. The same can be said about a shy guy: in childhood he is a modest and well-mannered boy, who over the years turns into an educated and handsome young man.

But the family has a decisive influence, both positive and negative, on the guy’s future existence. His modesty is often caused by:

• characteristics of the family structure;
• poor health;
• the fact that his parents protected him from all problems and forbade him from many things;
• he was not allowed to show individuality, to demonstrate his emotions.

Having matured, modest guys often experience discomfort when communicating with people, performing any tasks, and are sensitive to being praised or scolded.

This is also reflected in their physical condition - they turn pale, stutter, suddenly become silent, and they lose their breath. The modest guy's behavior speaks for itself:

• he avoids new acquaintances;
• rarely agrees to invitations to visit;
• communicates mainly via the Internet;
• silent during conversation.

Often the modest guy has a hard time:

• he is underestimated by others;
• friends laugh at him;
• successes are devalued;
• no career advancement;
• girls don't pay attention.

How to know if your husband is in love

How to understand that your spouse has fallen in love with another woman? The behavior of a married man in love is impossible not to notice. A wife should think about it if her husband suddenly:

• began to take care of the neatness of his appearance and buy new things for himself;
• changed perfume;
• began to stay late at work;
• is often in a thoughtful state, often in moments of reflection his face is illuminated with a smile;
• set a password on your phone and personal computer;
• does not take his wife to corporate events.

The combination of these signs may indicate the appearance of sympathy on the other side. If marriage is dear to you, then you urgently need to take measures so that simple love does not become the reason for the breakup of the family.

You may be interested in: Psychology of communication with men: basic rules Who are pick-up artists and how to recognize them How to break up with a married man

Reasons why guys like modest girls

There is an opinion that a modest and shy girl will make an ideal wife. First of all, a modest woman does not like to attract everyone's attention to herself, thereby she will not provoke outbursts of jealousy in her boyfriend. In addition, it is believed that modest representatives of the fair sex prefer leisurely evenings at home with reading a book and baking a pie to going to a club and noisy gatherings until the morning. This cannot but please a serious young man, oriented towards home comfort. Modest women are indifferent to shopping - this rather controversial thesis is put forward by men who consider modest girls very attractive. In addition to saving money, which the flighty beauty will certainly spend on dresses, shoes, stockings, the modest woman will also devote all her free time to something more useful - study, work, arranging her home, finally.

The decisive argument in choosing a life partner, which is made between more and less modest girls, is the fact that often modest girls remain virgins for a long time. Thus, there is a high probability that you will be the first and only man with your chosen one, which, of course, cannot but flatter a man’s pride.

Relationship stages

Psychologists say that there are seven phases that a couple must go through in order to confidently talk about mutual love. This list looks like this:

• frantic love;
• slight satiety;
• complete rejection;
• the beginning of tolerance;
• mutual service;
• respect for each other;
• Love.

In the context of our study, prudes simply have no chance of moving beyond the third point. Why? They love, or rather, fall in love, quickly and all-consumingly, often endowing the chosen one with fictitious character traits or qualities. But “tolerance” towards a partner moves from fourth to second place, while for men everything is according to plan, and satiety comes on time, according to the specified schedule.

Signs that a man at work or boss likes you: description

Leaders always feel confident because they are in charge. Therefore, signs that a male boss likes you will clearly appear. At first he will simply smile and look intently, and then he will start paying compliments and asking you to stay after work to complete things.

Quite quickly he tries to transfer communication into an informal setting. By the way, often even the boss begins to give bonuses for no reason or even an increase. At the same time, if he really likes you, then all the same signs will be visible as in any other situation.