“A man should be a little more handsome than a monkey”, “the main thing is charisma” - there are many excuses for imperfect appearance and not the best set of personal qualities. “Why find out what kind of guys girls like? Let him love me, a beggar, fat and snaggle-toothed,” says the guy, but he himself makes such demands on his chosen one that Miss World becomes simpler.
Do you think it's only the fault of men? No, women often take this position themselves, and this becomes a fatal mistake when looking for a soul mate. But now we are not talking about them, but about their expectations and standards of an ideal man. You can’t just approach a girl of average appearance with the words: “You’re ugly, you should be happy that I even paid attention to you!” Even though she is well past girlhood and fans are not lining up, expectations for the “prince” are still too high.
Let’s figure out how to understand whether girls like your type of man, what hobbies attract women, and determine the set of qualities necessary for a “real man,” according to the ladies.
A woman falls in love with someone who awakens her sensuality
Female psychology is such that it is not enough for a girl to know what she is like; she also wants to imagine herself more successful and attractive through the courtship of a man. Flowers, gifts - all this is rarely needed by the woman herself; it is more likely to brag to her friends and colleagues about how wonderful she is, since she is so valued.
When a girl falls in love with a man, she falls in love with herself. There are many things that men like in a woman, but they are more focused on their tastes, while ladies are more conflicted in their feelings. They themselves do not fully understand what kind of guys they like and what they want from a relationship. That is why a girl is more comfortable with someone who takes her hand and leads her into a wonderful future together. She wants to be a woman in the full sense of the word and is looking for a man with whom she can be weaker, more capricious, more tender. Even a “horse woman” dreams of a strong man’s shoulder.
What makes men attractive in appearance: 8 features named by scientists
It's obvious that women like different types of men, and that's great. Just imagine how sad it would be if all girls went crazy exclusively for blondes with blue eyes or brown-eyed brunettes.
But although “beauty” is a very vague and rather subjective concept, scientists have been able to identify several features of appearance that people usually find attractive. And some of them sound quite unexpected.
Familiar facial features
An article in the Association for Psychological Science stated that “the brain finds it easy to process and categorize familiar faces, which is why we find them attractive.”
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This is thought to be due to the fact that early in human history, people "came to associate ease of recognition with safety, trust, and positive feelings."
This perceptual bias was demonstrated in a 2012 study by psychological scientist Jamin Halberstadt, in which participants rated local celebrities as more attractive than manipulated photos of world-famous stars.
Symmetry
Photo by @henrycavill
Scientists have long known that symmetry plays an important role in the attractiveness of faces, but researchers weren't sure why this was the case.
In the past, it was believed that symmetry was an indicator of health, while asymmetry, on the contrary, signaled problems. However, all recent studies prove that this is not the case, and facial asymmetry is in no way associated with any diseases.
So, if it has nothing to do with disease, why do we prefer symmetrical faces?
There is a theory about “perceptual bias.” She suggests that symmetrical faces are again easier for our brains to process. However, researchers also questioned this.
And although science cannot yet answer the question of why people like symmetry, researchers agree that it is attractive.
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Asymmetry
Photo by @vancityreynolds
Although a face cannot be both symmetrical and asymmetrical, people may well find both looks attractive. Thus, many women prefer an asymmetrical male face to one that is proportional.
“If you have a very symmetrical, easily manipulated face, then you have one problem: you will be difficult to remember,” says Klaus-Christian Carbone, professor of psychology at the University of Bamberg in Germany.
The expert pointed to Meryl Streep's facial asymmetry as an example to explain this theory.
"The slight asymmetry of her face can be perceived by the viewer's brain as a sign of uniqueness, which makes the actress attractive," he added.
Smiling face
Smiling is a great hack you can use to make yourself appear more attractive, and it's proven by science.
- Lifestyle Stop walking around with a stern face: 7 ways to find a reason to smile every day An excellent prevention against a bad mood.
One study found that photographs of smiling men were not only rated by women as more attractive than photographs with neutral facial expressions, but were also perceived as kinder.
"The Johnny Depp Effect"
Photo by @johnnydepp
It is known that sex hormones are responsible for some of the distinctive features of our faces. For example, testosterone is responsible for more prominent cheekbones and larger jaws.
According to a report from the School of Psychology at the University of Aberdeen and the Department of Psychology at the University of Stirling in Scotland, for many women, the very "sexy characteristics" in men are typically masculine facial features.
But here’s another interesting fact about what kind of guys girls like based on their appearance. In 2021, researchers discovered what they called the “Johnny Depp effect”—men's faces with feminine features are also often considered more attractive!
Healthy skin
A number of studies have found that "apparently healthy facial skin is often a visual cue for judgments of the attractiveness of male faces." For example, one study that assessed Caucasian men with Photoshopped skin tones found that women highly valued faces with a so-called healthy glow, that is, skin with more yellow and red tones.
The reason for this, according to study co-author Iain Penton-Voak, may be related to health. Yellowish hues can indicate a healthy diet, while a more reddish color signals good physical condition.
Healthy skin also appeared to be much more important to women than masculine facial features, which did not seem to play any significant role in their choice.
Scars
Photo by @prideofgypsies
Scientists from the University of Liverpool have found that men with facial scars are considered more attractive to women who are looking for a sexual partner. This is an interesting finding because facial scars don't exactly correspond to what is typically considered attractive, such as symmetry, skin health, or recognizable features.
As part of the study, men and women were asked to view pictures of faces that were covered in scars from injury or illness, and then asked to rate the person's attractiveness for both short-term and long-term relationships. Rob Burris from the School of Biological Sciences at the University of Liverpool explained the study's findings as follows:
“Women may have valued scars as an attractive quality for intimate relationships because they view them as a symbol of conventional masculinity, which is commonly associated with high testosterone levels and an indicator of good genetic traits that can be passed on to offspring.”
The researcher also suggested that perhaps women find facial scars attractive because they are historically associated with bravery.
On the other hand, men without facial scars were rated as "more caring" and considered more suitable for long-term relationships.
Facial hair
Just as with scars, where women rated a man's attractiveness differently depending on potential relationship status, in another study, researchers found that beards were more attractive than shaved faces when women were looking for a long-term partner.
Why? Scientists can only speculate. Perhaps, as the study authors explained, "beards make men look older, more experienced, and more socially dominant."
Or beards may simply be considered more attractive to women when they're looking for something long-term because they "indicate a man's ability to successfully compete socially with other men for resources."
As great as beards are for long-term relationships, participants said the most attractive form of facial hair overall is thick stubble.
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It may surprise you, but clean-shaven faces came in last place in all respects. Regardless of potential relationship status, the vast majority of the more than 9,000 participants (more than 8,000 women and 1,000 men) were not thrilled with shaved faces.
Women like smart men
If there's one thing girls like about guys, it's their intelligence. A smart man, by default, in her eyes, is responsible, intelligent and decent, although there may be another type. This does not mean that you need to actively show off your knowledge so that the girl feels stupid: who will like that! It’s better to show your erudition in conversation, tell interesting stories about what fascinates her. Your dates should not be like lectures, but you need her to be interested in you. There is a big difference between a smart guy and a nerd.
Visual appeal
For a woman, the inner qualities of a person are truly important. But this does not mean that the fair sex does not pay attention to appearance at all. Girls like:
- Slender, fit figure. According to statistics, only 15% of girls are delighted with an athlete’s body. But a slender physique with a small amount of fat attracts 69% of respondents. Ideal weight can be calculated using the classic formula - height minus 100.
- Firm buttocks. On a subconscious level, it seems to a person that the better the gluteal muscles look, the better the fertilization process will occur.
- Bristle. Facial hair attracts women because stubble is associated with brutality.
- Smile. It suits everyone. And friendliness improves the attitude of any interlocutor.
- Good posture. A hunched back spoils your figure. Excellent posture adds height to a man and visually improves his physique.
According to statistics, 79% of surveyed representatives of the fairer sex pay attention to a man’s face at the first meeting. Girls are attracted to features that hint at masculine strong-willed qualities (a prominent chin, a defined jaw, symmetrical lips are a big plus).
Next they pay attention to the hands of the potential gentleman. This is a manifestation of a subconscious desire to evaluate a man’s sexual abilities. 75% of respondents admitted that they even fantasized about sex while looking at beautiful men’s hands. Afterwards, the women examine the guy’s figure. 66% of girls love an inverted triangle body type (wide shoulders and narrow hips).
You don't have to be a wealthy businessman to impress a girl. Women value responsibility, masculinity and a caring attitude most of all. If the chosen one sees that her gentleman has these qualities, she will not care that he is far from Apollo and cannot boast of a huge amount in his bank account.
Women like men with character
Decisiveness, pressure, self-confidence - this is what girls like in men. That is why you cannot constantly give in to a woman, admit guilt if she herself is wrong. It’s easy to lose honor and dignity if you find yourself a “rag” in her eyes. Despite the huge feelings, she must understand that you have other areas of life. The world does not revolve around her: you have hobbies, work, friends, family. She may be angry that she is in “second place,” but as soon as she gets into first place, a crown will immediately be placed on her beautiful head.
How girls choose guys according to psychologists
What kind of men many women really like can be understood if you find out by what criteria they choose a partner. Every guy is good in his own way. Brunettes, blondes, bald and redheads. Girls are attracted to someone who can hook and leave a mark on her romantic and impressionable soul. Boys strive to win the attention of ladies, making a lot of efforts, which are not always successful. Trying in desperation to attract the lady they like, they rack their brains over which men modern women like the most.
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Girls choose boys based on both external criteria and internal qualities. Psychologists say that subconsciously a woman is drawn to a man who has some similarities with her father: height, hair color, manner of speaking, physique.
Ideally, every girl has a unique hero: persistent, daring, brave and strong, a kind of indomitable cowboy, conquered by the lady of his heart, and admiring his beloved.
Girls love bright and charming guys, gallant gentlemen who respect the weaker sex, but do not fawn on them.
Women absolutely do not like men who behave unceremoniously and selfishly, showing indifference and clumsiness in their actions.
Women love active
You may have character, but you will still have to run after the girl and win her. It is important to strike a balance, not being too intrusive, but also not being so distant that she forgets about you. At the beginning of communication, use the banal but working “hot-cold” technique. One day you are gentle and attentive, inundated with messages, and the next day you are too busy. At the first stage, she must be 100% convinced that you are crazy about her, and at the second, she must be filled with doubts about this. Don’t overdo it with theatricality, everything should be natural!
As you can see, the girls' requirements for boys are a carriage and a small cart. Even supermen are not always lucky in love, which once again proves that you cannot please everyone. Decide what kind of girls you like and what their tastes are, and focus on developing in these directions.
What qualities do you need to get rid of to find your woman?
These are high expectations and requirements for a woman built in the head, instilled by parents (mother) and the surrounding society in childhood. For example, some mothers wish for their son a “homey” girl, quiet, without girlfriends or friends, leading the lifestyle of a housewife.
Others think the opposite - their son’s woman should be highly educated, bright, work in a prestigious position, support the family along with her husband and help his parents.
When choosing a woman, you need to give up the desire to please everyone. You need to stop adjusting to the expectations and tastes of others. So, if your best friend likes active blondes, this is not a reason to avoid modest brunettes. A woman is not a dollar bill to please everyone without exception.
It is necessary to overcome shyness and fear of taking the first step towards the girl you like, to show attention to her.
Loyalty
Loyalty is one of the most important qualities for girls. Moreover, loyalty also means a respectful attitude. This means that a guy should not flirt with other girls, discuss his other half with friends, and especially other girls. Loyalty is not only physical fidelity, but also a man’s willingness to always stand by the side of his family.
Girls value loyalty and honesty from men.
Spiritual maturity
What should a real man be like in the eyes of a woman? The famous writer, psychotherapist, candidate of medical sciences Mikhail Litvak is convinced that a man should be spiritually mature. What does this definition mean? The psychologist believes that spiritual maturity includes:
- Highly developed intelligence, which is reflected in a person’s behavior and feelings.
- Well-structured speech, the ability to express complex things in simple and understandable words. It is pleasant to listen to such a man, and in the process of communication there is a desire to follow his recommendations.
- Constant self-improvement. A spiritually mature man does not try to change those around him to suit himself. He is busy improving himself in various aspects of life.
Litvak explains that a real man will never begin communication with sexual demands, since he believes that the initiative to start an intimate relationship should belong to the woman. He can offer them once.
A spiritually mature man understands that if a lady refuses, then her decision is balanced and thoughtful, so persuasion will lead nowhere. Mikhail Labkovsky adds that a real man will not pursue a woman who refused him.
Confidence6
When it comes to women of any level of attractiveness, you don't have to be smart; you don't need to be particularly good looking; you don't have to be rich... but you do need to be confident.
But confidence doesn't mean walking around with your chest puffed out and talking loudly like some Gaston. This kind of blind confidence does not equal success. Confidence refers to having confidence in who you are.
Sense of humor
The fair sex likes guys who can easily carry on a conversation, who can joke, engage in conversation, and turn any unpleasant situation into a joke. However, girls love guys with a good sense of humor . This means that rude, obscene jokes, sarcasm, ridicule are not what you can use to attract a girl.
On the other hand, as the results of sociological surveys show, girls do not like frivolous men, so humor should be appropriate.
Preferences and zodiac sign
Women are looking for a life partner who meets the following criteria:
- sexual;
- smart;
- loyal;
- strong;
- successful;
- hardworking.
In search of a worthy candidate, young ladies look closely at their acquaintances, work colleagues, and look into the horoscope. The zodiac sign of a certain type of man meets the maximum requirements and preferences of girls. In order for a guy to turn out to be an interesting person and a temperamental lover, they choose a person belonging to the element of fire.
Wise and prudent gentlemen are under the element of air. Calm and affectionate gentlemen should be looked for among water signs. Hardworking and organized life partners are chosen from the earthly elements.
First of all, a woman chooses a man based on her own zodiac sign, temperament and taste preferences. It is worth noting that each of the representatives of the zodiac circle has a lot of advantages and disadvantages. The main thing is to find among them someone who will meet their expectations and preferences.
Scales
The Libra guy is the most gallant and polite representative of the stronger sex, among other signs. He is characterized by sophistication, tact, and a love of art and everything beautiful. Libras are excellent at maintaining a conversation and shine with intelligence and erudition. They are full of ideas and interesting proposals, very friendly and peaceful.
The Libra young man is very gallant and attentive with his lady. He has a sense of justice and equality, and will never allow a humiliating and disdainful attitude towards a woman.
Twins
Geminis are considered charming and sociable guys. Undoubtedly, they are considered the favorites of the female half. Such men are wonderful romantics and discouraged lovers. There's never a dull moment with them. Geminis look after women beautifully, full of charm and love fervor.
They know how to make money and are considered successful people. A sociable personality, the soul of a party, a conqueror of women's hearts - a set of qualities inherent in the sign of Gemini.
Aries
Aries is a self-sufficient man. A confident guy, an interesting personality and a passionate gentleman. He is very open, emotional and sociable. Having fallen in love with a lady, Aries will definitely take action and try with all his might to win her heart. He is very determined and passionate, he can be jealous, but he is ready to do anything for the woman he loves.
Romance
We live in an age of high technology, when gadgets replace face-to-face communication. We live in a constant rush and frantic pace of big cities, so there is not enough time for romance. And how often girls repeat that there are practically no romantic men left. Therefore, representatives of the fair sex appreciate romantic young people.
Some people understand romance as reading poetry, others when a man cooks delicious food or gives beautiful gifts. In general, a girl’s romance means a guy’s ability to express his feelings, show his experiences, strong emotions, and be unpredictable. If a young man does not know exactly how to show romance, then any girl will appreciate a pleasant surprise, and not necessarily expressed in material values.
Romance is a man’s ability to show feelings
Determination
Another important quality that a real man should have is determination. Associate Professor, Candidate of Psychological Sciences Oksana Rogozhina says that the success of any business depends 27% on a person’s ability to persistently and systematically achieve their goals. This quality of determination largely determines:
- a man’s success in personal and public life;
- his ability to look far ahead and make realistic plans;
- effectiveness of actions in achieving set goals.
Samoilov writes that a man’s determination is assessed not by his desires and intentions, but by the actions he takes to solve the task at hand.
At the same time, a real man must be able to admit defeat if it is clear that the goal cannot be achieved. Then he thinks about and identifies new tasks.
