The reasons that pushed a woman to take this step are often of an emotional nature. But sometimes it happens that through infidelity a wife tries to save her marriage or believes that she is forced to do so. This may seem absurd: how can cheating on your wife help save your marriage? To understand this, let's try to understand all the circumstances.
Why does my wife cheat?
The most common reason for female infidelity is a lack of attention and warmth from her husband. Then she begins to pay attention to those around her. One gave a compliment, another treated her to a cup of coffee, and the third understood what the woman was missing and took advantage of the situation.
Unfortunately, in this case, a woman may perceive her lover’s attention as sincere sympathy and allow herself to fall in love with him. When the truth is revealed, she will be in great pain, the illusory world will collapse.
Another reason is coercion. It happens that the boss allows himself too much, and in order to force the woman to fulfill his wishes, he threatens with dismissal. Or the wife is dissatisfied with her husband’s salary, and the boss pays her extra in exchange for sexual pleasure. This is exactly the type of betrayal when a woman tries to protect her husband from financial problems.
The most dangerous cause of female infidelity for a marriage is the discrepancy between the spouses’ views on their relationship. For example, a wife constantly improves her skills, strives for more, wants to travel and develop. And it’s enough for the husband to spend the weekend on the couch with a bottle of beer without leaving the house. In this case, the woman will look for a future husband in her lover, to whom she can leave. And she doesn’t leave her husband so that she can return home if the new relationship doesn’t work out.
If the betrayal is revealed, then the husband will have to either forgive his wife and change for her sake, or let her go.
A less common type of infidelity is infidelity in the presence of your husband. As a rule, this happens when a married couple tries to diversify their sex life and invite a third party into their bed. Even if the idea originally belonged to the husband, the consequences can be sad. It is difficult to be sure in advance that even if everything goes smoothly, there will be no consequences.
On the one hand, this is not treason, but the fact that a man saw his wife being pleasured by another man can traumatize his psyche. He will constantly remember this, compare and try to get assurances from his wife that he is the best for her.
Signs of a woman's betrayal
To catch a woman's infidelity, look and mentally note how many of the points listed below apply.
If there is a match of four or more, this is a reason to suspect infidelity:
- Alienation or lack of joint conversations and discussions. Women cool down morally faster, and only then physically. If until now your wife shared events, but now she is silent, think about it. She either has problems that she wants to hide, or a new affair on the side.
- A woman does not listen and does not remember her partner’s words. It seems that her thoughts are far away. Of course, if this has happened before, do not focus on this detail.
- Encouraging separate holidays and weekends. My wife did not approve of overnight fishing, but now she is concerned about why trips are so rare? This is a clear sign that they want to quickly kick you out of the house.
- Increased interest, which was not there a month ago, in the work schedule. Your wife is interested in an almost minute-by-minute schedule of your affairs, while simultaneously trying to remember every little detail.
- Constant irritation and dissatisfaction with any manifestations. To test this, present the girl with a bouquet. If she accepts it with genuine joy, then the signs noticed are fatigue and irritation. If she has difficulty putting on a smile, this is a sign that the wife is attracted to another guy.
- Change of smell that occurred during the day. In the morning, a delicate perfume applied to the skin smelled of roses and violets, and in the evening a woman smells of men's deodorant - this is a sign that demonstrates betrayal.
- In the company of colleagues and friends of your wife, conversations in front of you become awkward and distant.
- Attempts to look into the woman’s phone or laptop fail. It turns out that access to them is protected by a password that only she knows.
- The wife provokes quarrels and tries to leave the house after a scandal, turning off the phone and returning in the morning.
- Interest in one's own appearance and changes in hairstyle, clothing and style noticeable to a man. Women tend to make drastic changes at critical times to relieve stress.
Each of the points individually has a justification, but a combination of at least four suggests too strange behavior and possible betrayal. But don’t rush things, try to find reliable evidence to understand for sure whether to suspect treason.
Why you can’t forgive a woman’s infidelity
Men are owners and conquerors by nature. For them, a wife is a reason for pride and boasting. And if he finds out that another man took advantage of his woman, he will feel humiliated, insulted and betrayed.
A suspicion arises that if she was able to betray him once, she will betray him more than once.
For a man, it is not so important what prompted a woman to make this decision. Even if she cheated with good intentions, she still allowed a stranger to take advantage of her. If there was an emotional connection, then this only aggravates the fact of betrayal.
What to do if a girl cheated - to forgive or not
Men often justify their adventures by referring to natural polygamy.
According to statistics, 75% of men and 25% of women cheat in legal relationships. However, if girls subconsciously understand that men cheat more often and you need to be prepared for this, no matter how strong the love, for guys women’s adventures “to the left” often become a revelation.
What to do if a girl cheats on you?
Why can you forgive your wife's betrayal?
If a man loves his wife and values her regardless of the circumstances, then he should at least try to forgive her. Perhaps in this case, betrayal will be the moment that will prompt the spouses to talk to each other again. Surely the wife believes that she made a huge mistake and repents of it.
Such negative experiences will protect her from similar mistakes in the future. Having been burned once, she will be more careful in her feelings. And most importantly, she will appreciate her husband even more.
Those families that have survived serious trials are stronger. In such cases, spouses respect each other and do not forget what attracted them to each other. And they will be an excellent example for their children: they know how to talk, negotiate with each other, make concessions and compromises. And children understand that not everything goes smoothly in a family, there are quarrels, but after any conflict you can make peace.
Women's revenge2
Women's revenge is one of those terrible things that sometimes has no logic or explanation. It may be completely justified and not subject to condemnation, or it may just be an excuse to commit one’s own offense. Is it possible to forgive a girl’s betrayal if she did it just out of spite? Controversial issue. If you yourself are to blame and deeply hurt her (you cheated on her, for example), then you need a serious conversation. If you plan to constantly hurt each other and then take revenge, then this is not a relationship, but bullying. The best thing to do is just end this unhealthy interaction. However, there are situations where an apology and reconciliation would have been much more appropriate in this case.
But if it’s not your fault, as such, then you should think about it: do you need a friend who, at the first opportunity, jumps into someone else’s bed? The answer is obvious. Such behavior does not deserve any forgiveness or understanding.
What do men think about?
The news of a wife's betrayal is a terrible blow to a man's pride. He was betrayed, trampled, humiliated. Therefore, he needs time to comprehend the situation. It is better to leave him alone for a while, because a showdown during this period will not lead to any results.
After the first emotions have subsided, negotiations can begin. This is the right time for the husband to speak and the wife to listen. Yes, she will hear a lot of unpleasant things addressed to her, but then she will find out how her husband really feels and what her betrayal means to him. And during this dialogue it will become clear whether there is any hope of saving the marriage.
Don't change in response
Of course, to forgive a girl’s betrayal, you need to be a strong person. This indicates that a person can do much more for the sake of his beloved. Girls should grab such a man with their hands and never let go.
Guys often flirt and do rash things. I start to abuse alcohol and often visit nightclubs to pick up a girl for the evening. Such revenge is simply unacceptable!
This type of revenge will completely and forever destroy the relationship. Responding to betrayal with betrayal will demonstrate that you no longer have anything in common. The person hurt you, but don’t stoop to his level, act differently. If you are not going to forgive, then break off the relationship and do whatever you want.
The difference between male and female infidelity
The reasons that push one of the spouses to cheat are different in nature. They coincide when one of them tries to make up for what he lacks at home through communication on the side.
A woman is driven by sympathy for her lover or is forced under the circumstances to cheat. We already wrote about this above when we talked about the reasons for betrayal.
For a man, cheating often does not mean that he really has feelings for his mistress. It also happens that this is one of the elements of his status: an apartment, a country house, an expensive car and a luxurious mistress - these are the signs of a successful man. And if he needs his mistress for status, then it is almost impossible to fight this. The wife has to either come to terms and accept this fact or leave her husband.
Is it possible to forgive a girl's betrayal?
The question of whether it is possible to forgive the betrayal of a beloved girl is asked by guys who have learned about the fact of betrayal. However, first you need to understand the situation.
The details of the event will tell you how promising the relationship is and how high the chances are for the return of old feelings:
READ How to get your husband away from his mistress and save your marriage
- Casual sex that happened once. 65% of couples face a similar situation. At the same time, the woman herself reports the fact of betrayal and assures that she sincerely repents. This option is promising in terms of continuing the relationship. If a lady asks for forgiveness, and has not previously been seen in disparaging behavior, wait a week or two so that emotions have time to cool down and talk frankly. Tell us about your overwhelming feelings, the power of love and the unacceptability of such actions. If after the conversation you realize that you are not ready to break up, forgiveness will be easy and quick.
- Repeated sexual intercourse with another man. Friends talk about it or the betrayal is revealed by accident. Every third couple experiences such a test. The girl’s behavior, unwillingness to repent or talk about an affair on the side speaks for itself. She does not need forgiveness and continuation of the relationship, she made a choice in favor of another guy. The main thing here is not to lose your dignity and resolve the situation without losing self-respect. Receive the information calmly, calmly collect the necessary things and immediately leave or separate. The union has no prospects for development.
- Cheating in the form of correspondence and promises of future physical contact. Only 2% of young people manage to find traces of this type of betrayal. Talk to the girl and find out the reason for this behavior. If you doubt the continuation of the relationship, make a table. In the left column, list specific situations in which your partner helped, supported or inspired, in the right - the opposite cases. It's worth starting with the negative aspects. This will allow you to remain objective and at the same time remember the pleasant little things that united you. The probability of reconciliation and forgiveness of betrayal is more than 75%.
What should a woman do if her husband finds out about cheating?
When the husband became aware of the betrayal, it was too late to justify or assure him that she did not mean to. Never mind. There was treason and it is known. All that remains is to act according to the circumstances.
If the husband is ready to forgive his wife, then she will have to earn his trust again. This is a very long and difficult path that they must go through together. It’s good if a psychologist works with the couple. He will help them understand what they value in each other, why they love each other and why the betrayal occurred. When all the circumstances and reasons are clear, the spouses will finally be able to forgive each other and begin to live happily together again.
Green serpent i
What is the most common reason for infidelity? Lack of self-control. And most often this happens when a lady simply overdoes it with alcohol and frivolously falls into the arms of the first unfamiliar guy. Sometimes such unlucky women don’t even remember what happened and how they ended up in someone else’s bed. In fact, the only complaint against such a girl is the lack of attentiveness and instinct of self-preservation.
After all, this is exactly what unprincipled men can take advantage of. In this case, if the girl repents, and she herself did not hang herself on anyone’s neck, then she fully deserves forgiveness. The most important thing is to make her promise that she will no longer get drunk in the company of strangers. And then such an episode may never happen again.
How to forgive your wife for cheating: advice from a psychologist
The most important thing in the process of reconciliation is the ability to talk, convey your thoughts, hear your interlocutor and listen to his words. You need to start a dialogue only when the first feelings have cooled down; they will only interfere with establishing contact between the spouses.
When one of the spouses speaks, the other does not interrupt him. This is quite difficult, especially if the couple are not used to discussing their problems. Therefore, it is often more convenient to do this in the office of a psychologist, who, if something happens, will stop one spouse and give the second the opportunity to finish.
It is extremely important to find out the reasons that prompted a woman to cheat. Let her speak out first, and then the husband, firstly, admits that there is some truth in her words, and secondly, speaks out if he does not agree. Then it’s his turn to talk about what he’s dissatisfied with.
When the whole truth has been revealed, the couple can work together to develop a plan to save their family that takes into account the preferences of both. For example, on Saturdays they will definitely go to an exhibition, a museum, a theater or restaurant, or travel out of town. But Sunday will be spent calmly at home, lying in an embrace on the sofa.
How to take revenge on your opponent?
The girl's actions caused pain. I immediately want to answer her in kind. Both for her and her new lover, of course.
How do men take revenge? Typical options:
- Hit the face (on her, on him, on the first gopnik you come across in the area)
The pleasure is short-lived and dubious. And the consequences can be unpredictable. The answer can land in the eye, in the liver, or in the form of a summons with an invitation to the prosecutor’s office. Do you watch crime news? How much nonsense is committed out of jealousy! Do you need it?
Therefore, to the question, how to treat a girl’s betrayal? There is a solution - agree with the trainer, let him open the gym an hour earlier. Hang a color printout of the photo on the bag and hit it to your heart's content. In complete physical and legal safety.
- Sleep with someone urgently right now (her best friend?)
If you have a worthy candidate in mind, go ahead! Now your hands are free (and not only them). It’s possible for her, it’s possible for you too. What problems?
Be aware of what you want more: quick sex or revenge? By seducing the first person you meet, you will not hurt your past passion.
Why is betrayal forgiven?
They forgive betrayals when they value a person and are afraid of losing him, when they are ready to work on themselves. It's not easy, but often the result justifies even the wildest expectations. The man decides whether to forgive or not, because he is the injured party in this conflict. The woman will have to accept any of his decisions.
If a man is not ready for reconciliation, and his wife does not want to leave him, then she will have to make incredible efforts to get her husband to make contact with her and at least start talking to her.
What pushes girls to cheat?
Women are unpredictable creatures. It's never clear what's on their mind. But psychologists are trying to figure it out. They are sure: a happy woman does not cheat.
What provokes girls to look for pleasure on the side?
Possible reasons:
1. Lack of attention from your own man
It is not necessary for a girl to carry buckets of roses every day. We need pleasant words, honest conversations, a lot of time together, gentle touches, kisses, sex, sincere interest in her affairs, help around the house, protection.
If there are problems on all fronts, you shouldn’t be surprised at the betrayals. Separation or betrayal is a matter of time.
3 important steps
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2. Passivity of the partner
There are situations when there seems to be a guy. But in fact - complete dashes.
He lives with a friend, doesn’t give her money for food, but doesn’t forget to eat three times a day. However, no bonuses:
- cannot meet in the evening;
- doesn’t want to go out together;
- sex with him is as dull as Monday morning;
- does not call for marriage;
- in a dark alley he will be the first to run away;
- At home, he just lies on the sofa and surfs the Internet.
Girls can justify and endure all this for a long, long time. Such cohabitation sometimes lasts for years. Not everyone is ready to play strong and independent. Ladies believe that at least some man in the house is better than lonely evenings.
However, as soon as a man of a different type appears on the horizon, they quickly say goodbye to their predecessor.
3. Different priorities
On first dates, different goals look interesting.
“She’s all about work, treating people, so selfless,” he thinks.
“He’s so serious and family-oriented—a rarity!” she muses.
At first, the new experience is interesting to both. Conflicts start later. She always stays late on duty, he longs for home gatherings and borscht...
Some couples are looking for compromises, others are looking for new partners, and others are simply breaking up.
4. Lover's status and/or money
A rich man can afford more. He has a well-groomed appearance, expensive clothes, new equipment. Usually comes with charisma, generous gifts, grand gestures, self-confidence and a willingness to solve small women's problems. All this together is attractive. Especially if a simple Vasya from the factory is waiting at home, in sweatpants and a T-shirt with the name of a deputy.
5. Excitement
Sometimes ladies are interested in trying: how is it? Play on two fronts, hide, live on adrenaline. But women rarely cheat just out of sport.
Inga, 43 years old:
“My family was embarrassed by this topic. The brother took a pregnant girl (not from him) as his wife. He kept telling me how he fell in love and couldn’t live without her. Everyone quarreled with him. Everyone tried to prove to him that she wouldn’t be happy like that, it wasn’t just that she was left alone pregnant.
They moved in together anyway and signed. Her brother defended her in front of everyone. She gave birth to a child, he raised the baby as his own. Gradually, the family came to terms with his choice and began to communicate again. My brother looked like a knight. If at first he was called a fool, then over time he was promoted to a “real man.” Not afraid of gossip for the sake of love, hero!
When their son finished primary school, his wife cheated on his brother. With his father, his father-in-law. She did not hesitate to stay overnight with him and, if possible, “live up” in that house. She filed for divorce from her brother. And, attention, he demands alimony from him for his son. He is recorded in the certificate as the father! Although he, she, and the whole city know the truth.”
Why are women more likely to forgive infidelity than men?
If men are conquerors, then women are guardians by nature. Their sense of ownership is developed somewhat differently than that of men. For a wife, returning her husband to the family is proof that she has protected her hearth, that she is better than a mistress. This is a kind of reason for pride.
For a man, the concept of property is a little different. His property must be untouchable. And if someone took advantage of her, then this is no longer his woman. He no longer feels confident in himself, he is afraid of the condemnation of friends and public censure.
Public opinion says that if a woman has forgiven her husband’s infidelity, then she is a wise wife, but if a man forgives his wife, then he is a cuckold and henpecked.
Desperate Heartbreaker 4
As sad as it is to admit, some ladies are simply not meant for relationships. They look for ease and freedom everywhere, and full-fledged feelings do not tolerate polygamy. The most obvious reason for betrayal is a banal lack of love. She does not make plans for the future with your participation, she does not strive to become your soul mate, who will be your support and support. She likes to change sexual partners like gloves, but the status of someone's girlfriend also suits her quite well. And such a person will definitely not feel any remorse for what she does.
There is no point in forgiving such a girl. She doesn't need it, and neither do you. Is it possible to forgive a girl’s betrayal if she doesn’t even strive to deserve it? Of course not. All you need to do is quickly let her go and forget. The world doesn’t converge on any young lady, and therefore you will meet the one who will help you mend your broken heart.
Life without quarrels with your soulmate is almost impossible. Many are faced with seemingly insoluble conflicts that end happily. But there are situations when it is difficult to rely only on reason and logic. Is it possible to forgive a girl's betrayal? Try to listen to yourself. Losing a loved one because of a stupid and ridiculous accident is a mistake that you will regret. Maybe this betrayal will become a point for your relationship, or maybe it will strengthen your union and make it clear that you have no one closer to each other.
Why did the girl cheat on her boyfriend: options for further restoration of the relationship
When it comes to cheating, it is most often assumed that it is the man who is unfaithful. But girls also quite often admit to cheating on their man, and the reasons for such behavior can be very different. Most representatives of the fair sex repent of their actions, and some cannot even explain why they did this. Especially if the betrayal was with her man’s friend, which is considered a double betrayal.
To figure out what to do if a girl cheated on her boyfriend, whether true love can forgive such an act, it’s worth finding out why this happens. And although not all reasons can justify such behavior, the development of the situation depends on the girl’s intentions and her readiness to restore the relationship.
Although there are women who do not admit to their infidelity and continue to behave as if nothing happened.
