How to painlessly divorce your wife: nuances and recommendations

Take a candid look at the state of things.

Most likely, you miss your single life. You remember how cool it used to be to walk and not worry about anything. The thought that youth will return after a divorce pushes you towards it.

But let's be honest. With myself.

Admit it, while you are in the family, it seems that if your wife were not around, you would be wooing dozens of young ladies. You would be basking in female attention, and only a fucking ring would stop you.

But is it? It's easy to talk about seduction strategies when watching from the outside. Agree that you have long lost your grip, if you had it at all. And in reality, everything may not be as rosy as it seems. And you already left your wife.

Time will pass, you will try to communicate with women. And you realize that the girls have grown up a long time ago.

And you can’t get them with sweets/flowers, as it was during your youth.

The girls grew up and became smart, cunning and treacherous. They have already been traumatized by other men, and now they are not so gullible.

No matter how hard you try, you can’t just use girls anymore. They grew teeth, tails on their butts beaten by someone, and horns to boot.

If you are so very drawn to others, then it’s better to just try. Allow yourself to go and flirt with women. Try to seduce them, interest them. Remember the game of seduction by taste.

Perhaps you will be satisfied and can again enjoy one beloved wife. Or maybe you will finally understand that you like freedom more.

How to come to your senses and forget the woman you love who left for another man?

If the wife left not for her mother, but for her lover, then we can almost definitely talk about a final breakup. For the abandoned husband in this situation, it is important not to fall into despair and maintain self-esteem. Of course, a feeling of resentment and wounded pride can interfere with a correct assessment of the situation, but it is still necessary to try.

Psychologists recommend not to impose attempts at reconciliation and:

• accept divorce as a fact and do not deny what happened;
• analyze the situation and look at your ex-partner from a critical perspective;
• give yourself some time to suffer, and then start solving some “global” problems (you can “conclude” a written agreement with yourself);
• remove from your home all things that remind you of the past and avoid visiting places that evoke memories.

It is advisable to change your environment for a while and go on a short trip.

What to do if you are in doubt?

Situations are different. But it often happens that after a divorce, nothing really changes, except for the woman next to you.

If you are unsure whether to get a divorce, you can give your relationship a trial period.

For example, offer your wife to live separately for a couple of months. You kind of broke up, but not completely. Look at your life without a family and make sure that you are better off this way.

Or, on the contrary, you will begin to get bored and realize that it’s good at home. And you could make a mistake.

Your wife will also look at life without you and will slowly begin to get used to it. If you ultimately decide to leave, the adjustment period will help her accept the breakup more calmly.

If you decide to stay, you can reconsider your marriage and realize what problems you really have. And think about how to remove them.

I am sure that your wife also does not speak of you as an impeccable husband.

By trying to change and become better for each other, you will save the relationship and upgrade it.

Reasons for divorce

There are many reasons for breaking up a relationship. Divorce from his wife is one of the most difficult experiences for a man. Here, not only does a long-term relationship collapse, but trust is also lost. The most natural reaction is a feeling of all-encompassing mental pain. Let's take a closer look at the reasons for what is happening. It is worth understanding them to prevent complications.

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Treason

When a woman suddenly finds a lover, the very fact hits her self-esteem painfully. With the news of infidelity comes disappointment. It seems like it will never get better. Cheating becomes a stumbling block for many couples. Not every partner is able to forgive their other half for such a moment. A man can become so upset that he no longer controls his feelings. Insults, blackmail, accusations, and discontent are used.

Treason is a serious reason for dissolving a union.

Losing interest in each other

When love passes, people feel like they have become strangers. There is no longer a desire to overcome obstacles or set goals. Partners can come to this ending as a result of unjustified efforts and disappointments. Sometimes it is enough to systematically listen to refusals. Feelings of loneliness in marriage are not uncommon. Sometimes people, being under the same roof, remain barely acquaintances. The big problem is the reluctance to solve problems together.

Empty nest syndrome

Sometimes people who have raised children suddenly realize that they have no reason to stay together anymore. They have already fulfilled their parental duty. An emptiness settles in the soul, a feeling of wasted years appears. Dissatisfaction is growing every day. Often partners begin to blame each other. At such moments, it seems that there is no longer any point in staying together. Empty nest syndrome is a difficult experience for both partners. Some people can’t stand it and prefer to break up.

When exactly should you get a divorce?

It's really worth getting a divorce when you both are sure that it's the right thing to do. When you both want to break up and forget about each other.

It may also be that your wife will be shocked by your decision. But you have long ceased to be afraid of losing her and have no doubt that you want a free life. If you are firmly convinced, then her opinion no longer matters.

Then just go ahead and don’t look back.

If you are leaving because of a new young lady, then think about what exactly attracts you to her? And, most importantly, can you get this from your wife?

If this is beauty, a cheerful mood and a burning look, then, believe me, all this can be rekindled in your wife. The right approach, pleasant words and constant work on mistakes in the family will re-ignite your love.

How to survive a divorce painlessly

Breaking up always hurts. Sometimes it is difficult to imagine the whole range of feelings that one experiences. Being in depressing circumstances, it seems that life stops. The individual world collapses. It takes a lot of effort to fully recover from the blow. The question of whether it is possible to break up calmly is a very relevant one, since you want to maintain mutual respect. Here you need to follow the rules.

Taking responsibility

The choice must be made consciously. There is no point in endlessly immersing yourself in accusations and thinking in stereotypes. People don’t always spoil relationships; after a breakup, it’s possible to maintain respect and sympathy. Whatever the reason, you need to understand that adults are aware of the consequences of their actions. That's why you don't need to swear too much and refuse to communicate.

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How to get out of depression after breaking up with your loved one

Setting Mutual Boundaries

When breaking up, it is important for people to discuss all the conditions. Former partners strive for comfort. They don’t want to constantly sort things out. There is no need to violate established boundaries. It is necessary to agree on how the spouses will interact in the future. It is important to try not to infringe on personal boundaries. Showing respect allows for a comfortable interaction. With effort, it is quite possible to agree on any conditions.

Confidence in being right

It is impossible to separate without a scandal if you are not sure of the choice you have made. Such a decision is not made in one minute. It will take time to decide on your own values, to understand how you want to live further. Breaking up a relationship will be easier if partners have worked through their feelings in advance.

It is useful to overcome anxiety, despair and hopelessness, then we can talk about a successful outcome. There is hardly any point in forcing things. The feeling of confidence will not come immediately, but it will definitely appear. The main thing is not to retreat and not to give in to provocations.

What is the right way to separate from your wife?

The woman who married you has every right to a calm and peaceful separation. And know why you decided to get a divorce.

Therefore, do it only in person. Leave all notes, messages or silent escapes from home to assholes.

Remember also that the most terrible behavior for a girl will be your hesitant tossing around.

The situation when a man leaves and then returns is the most stressful and painful for a woman.

Girls need certainty. If you decide to leave, then leave forever.

Voluntary agreement

The agreement on the division of joint property is an official document. It must be notarized and signed by both parties, otherwise it will be considered legally void and illegitimate.

If the procedure for drawing up and signing an agreement, as well as its certification at a notary office, is followed, it is impossible to challenge the document.

The following information is required to be filled in:

• personal information about the signatories of the document;
• a list of joint property subject to division with a mandatory detailed description of each divisible item;
• the procedure and procedure for division, which indicate into what shares the joint property is divided, or what subject of division is transferred to whom.

Before certifying a document, the notary checks its legality and explains to each of the signers the consequences of the section they have agreed upon.

Sample agreement on division of property

What reaction from your wife should you be prepared for?

Women feel everything subtly and understand the emotions of others. It is likely that she has long suspected something was wrong and noticed changes in your behavior.

In this case, her reaction may be more or less calm. After all, if she still hasn’t raised this topic, it means she’s ready to break up.

In the second case, your decision will be a shock and a blow for her.

Family is the most important thing for a woman. This is what she lives for.

And the understanding that everything that has been done is crumbling greatly hurts any girl. Therefore, be prepared for tears, hysteria, and anger. This is an emotional outburst that will ultimately calm her down. And you can have a normal conversation.

Now you are the one who is ruining her life. And, most likely, divorce for her is not a new life, but the collapse of her entire life.

Section cost

Of course, the division of joint property will require certain material costs, and these costs will differ significantly for different methods of division.

Voluntary separation agreement . The most cost-effective partition option. When drawing up an agreement, the parties will need to pay a notary fee, which, depending on the amount of the agreement, can cost from three hundred rubles (if the price of the property being divided is up to one million rubles) to an amount exceeding 32 thousand rubles (if the value of the property exceeds 10 million rubles).

Division through court . With this option for dividing joint property, costs can become significantly higher. Few ordinary citizens will be able to independently draw up a legally competent statement of claim, so they will have to resort to the services of a lawyer. The cost of such services depends on the region, for example, in Moscow

• an oral consultation with a lawyer will cost from 1,000 rubles;
• for a written consultation you will have to pay from 3,000 rubles;
• drawing up a statement of claim and assistance in collecting documents will cost from five thousand rubles;
• the cost of complete case management will cost 35 – 40 tr.

In addition, the plaintiff will have to pay a state fee, the amount of which depends on the price of the claim. You can calculate the amount of duty using the table.

Table for calculating state fees when filing a claim for division of joint property

So, you are facing a divorce from your wife and division of jointly acquired property. Trying to negotiate should be your first step. This will allow you to maintain normal relations after a divorce, save a lot of money and speed up the separation process.

If a voluntary agreement on separation is impossible and the court remains, then the very first step should be to find a competent lawyer. Yes, this will slightly increase the cost of dividing property, but it will help avoid even greater financial losses in the event of improper management of the case.

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What should you do when separating from your wife?

Be sure to speak without witnesses. Choose a suitable time and place. Please note that your conversation may last for several hours.

The most important thing you have to do is convince your wife that everything will be fine .

Convey to her that she will be much better off without a husband who does not want to be her husband. Open up divorce to her as an opportunity to meet a truly loving and ideal man who will make her the happiest person in the world.

Make sure that the divorce does not cause any financial problems or conflicts with children.

You can promise financial support for the first time. The woman will feel much calmer this way.

If you have children, convince your wife that you will take care of them after the divorce.

You will no longer be a married couple, but you will forever remain the parents of your children.

Discuss how much time they will spend with you and how much time they will spend with her. Give guarantees of material and moral support in any situation.

In general, discourage your wife from all fears of a future life without a husband.

Why do husbands leave their wives?

This is the main question. Many women are left alone with questions after their spouse leaves. They are tormented by them. Husbands are also tormented: “Did I do the right thing?” Much depends on the reason. A man can leave for many reasons:

• Tired
  . As sad as it is, in those families where there is a seriously ill child, husbands are the first to fail. Due to psychological characteristics, it is always easier for a person to leave and not see. Instead of living with a problem, spending time and energy on solving it. What if there is no solution?
• I found another one
  . The husband sees his wife in slippers, with dirty hair, unshaven legs, in a robe, at the stove. The mistress is always well-groomed, affectionate, sexy. Most often younger than the legal spouse. This is a common situation
• The husband cheated, the mistress became pregnant
  . He is forced to leave his current wife
• Tired of it
  . This word can mean anything. I'm tired of my wife being demanding. I'm tired of spending the whole summer at the dacha. I'm tired of my restrictions. The list goes on
• The spouses are too different
  . During the period of falling in love, they did not notice this. Time has shown that people really were “from different worlds.” With different tastes, different priorities, different views
• One of the spouses cannot or does not want to have children
  . The wife cannot get pregnant, and the husband wants an heir. Or the wife wants children, the husband does not. In order not to deprive the opportunity of motherhood, he leaves the family (so that she can find someone else)
• My wife cheated.
  Her husband found out about this and cannot forgive her
• The spouse is a burden
  . The husband provides for the family. The woman sits at home, does not work. At the same time, he still does not do anything useful around the house. Doesn't strive to become a good housewife. My husband is tired of carrying everything on his shoulders
• Lack of attention.
  The spouse is too passionate about herself, spends a lot of time at work, plays a lot of games. There are many reasons, but the essence is the same - little attention is paid to the husband, he feels superfluous, unnecessary

I can’t love anyone: psychological help for divorced men

After a breakup, many men find that they cannot love anyone. It seems that time has passed, and feelings have rested, and worthy contenders for the heart have appeared, but... The complex of emotions that poets call love does not arise.

This problem may even make me happy for a while (like, now no one will hurt me). But over time, a feeling of emptiness still appears, which weighs no less than unrequited feelings.

First you need to realize the problem and stop being afraid to love. Of great importance is the acceptance of the fact that feelings for a woman are not synonymous with pain and suffering, loss and the collapse of all plans. However, you shouldn’t dwell on the problem of lack of love.

Perhaps the time has simply not come, because until the emotional wounds heal, it will not be possible to establish a full-fledged personal life. Always be yourself and enjoy life. Only then will everything naturally fall into place.

Don't compare all women to your ex.