It would seem that all people in the world are equal.
But for some, fortune accompanies them throughout their entire journey, while others stagnate in one place all their lives, considering themselves losers. Despair gradually leads a loser astray from his intended path: plans collapse, and even minor goals seem unattainable. What is the reason for stagnation, and how to finally become successful?
You don't value time
Losers don't value their time at all.
Any successful person will tell you that time is our most valuable resource. People who achieve success value time even more than money. What's your job? We read Twitter, visited a site like Fishki.net or Bash.im, liked photos on Facebook and VKontakte. But you make plans every year. Every year you promise yourself that “this year I will really work.” And everything is new. Your plans are not destined to come true. This is because you are not devoting the required amount of time to completing tasks. Learn to manage your time, learn to say “no” - this will be a good step towards success in any area of your life.
Failure is the norm. Success is an accident
In fact, each of us is in some way a spontaneous entrepreneur. We invest time and effort into some assets (the same knowledge and skills), and then try to make a profit from them.
In the 21st century, the idea that a person is born to work or “benefit society” cannot be considered valid. We are born by chance, without ordering our birth, and are forced to survive, socialize and act in the market “as God wishes.” According to modern science, people make most decisions quickly, according to a pattern and irrationally.
Nobel Prize winner in economics, one of the founders of the field of behavioral economics, Daniel Kahneman, once examined a huge amount of data from the reports of a large investment company on Wall Street. The analysis revealed that traders who supposedly knew how to “read the markets” showed exactly the same results as if they acted at random.
Kahneman said:
“They got pretty angry when I told them about it. But there is clear evidence that luck has more to do with making a meteoric rise than skill.”
If you listen to scientists, it turns out that the likelihood of success in a chosen field can be to some extent influenced by the number of attempts made (more attempts - more chances of success). However, as Einstein used to say, it is stupid to do the same thing and expect a different result. Therefore, after every failure in your life, “entrepreneurial” attempts, it is worth changing something.
Moreover, the very concept of “success” and “loser” is very vague and irrational...
You're not doing things that align with your goals.
It's not difficult to make decisions when you know what your values are.
Roy Disney
Outsiders confuse busyness with productivity. It is a mistaken belief that productivity directly depends on employment. That's why losers take on everything. They take part in anything. As a result, they scatter their efforts into nowhere. The only thing they don't focus their efforts on is their goals and their values.
Write down your goals and strategy for achieving them. This will help you determine where you really need to focus your efforts. “The more important you consider it, the more likely you will accomplish a task.”
You don't know how to communicate and treat people
You can easily judge a person's character by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
Johann Goethe
Losers have no social skills. “At least I’m being honest,” “I am who I am, deal with it,” these are the phrases that losers say. Unsuccessful people behave arrogantly without any reason to do so. Who likes show-offs? So don't be one! It's very easy to be nice and polite to someone you like. And you try to behave well with someone from whom you cannot get anything.
There is an excellent saying that the best way to test a person's character is to look at his behavior in line and his attitude towards the service staff. Another good way to get to know a person is to look at their reaction when you ruin their thing.
Conquer your fears and concerns
I feel like nothing. Such an attitude towards yourself will be impossible, because, approaching the final stage, you will already have something to be proud of. But to be completely satisfied, you need to take a few more steps:
- Select the optimal operating mode. An increase in the hormone cortisol leads to negative changes in the body. To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to provide the brain with rest, since it is necessary to restore moral and spiritual strength.
- Control your emotions. You should not give in to impulsive desires and whims, and anxiety and fear must be kept under control.
- Listen to objective opinions from outsiders. It is necessary to find a person whom you can trust and consult with him on certain issues. Your own point of view and an outside view will help to recreate the true picture of what is happening.
- Normalize activity. Active activity suppresses fear. In order not to repeat “I feel useless,” it is better to do something than to sit and be afraid.
- Abstract yourself from negativity. It is recommended to think exclusively positively and not project negative experiences (your own and others) onto yourself. The expressions “I’m always unlucky” or “something bad always happens to me” should be permanently eliminated from your vocabulary.
- Avoid extremes. Since there are many shades between black and white in life, it is a wise decision to try not to be so categorical. It is necessary to consider the situation from different angles, be flexible and always be able to find a compromise.
To summarize, it should be said that thoughts and expressions like “I feel like nothing” have no place in a person’s head. Every individual is an individual who deserves respect. You cannot underestimate yourself, give up and mourn your difficult and unpromising life. It is necessary to try the above method; it must bring positive results. And such thoughts will be regarded as temporary weakness or seasonal melancholy. She passed as soon as the gentle sun appeared in the sky.
You put everything off until later
The funny thing is that losers call themselves the fashionable word “procrastinators.” And they are absolutely not ashamed of it. They don't understand the value of time at all. They are quite content to live in yesterday. Losers live as if they have another life left. But in reality, no one has the opportunity to pause life or rewind a little. Realize that you are dying from the moment you are born. Every day is a gift. You can do whatever you want, but keep in mind that tomorrow may not exist.
Who is a loser?
A loser is a person who does not succeed; it is very easy for him to lose and give up. In Western style, such people are also called outsiders or losers. No matter what they do, their ventures rarely end in success. It is impossible to say that these people are stupid. They just have a special type of thinking that attracts failure. This is not a disease or mental disorder, but the path in life that people choose for themselves, or that their immediate environment tells them.
You don't know how to deal with difficulties
There is one legend. It says that once upon a time there lived a shepherd who was small in stature and was not a warrior. He looked at the giant and said: “I will overcome you and cut off your head!” - and did it. The tests are only as difficult as you imagine and as your weakness allows. Losers don't understand this and quickly give up. They give up the moment the situation becomes uncomfortable.
There are no roses without thorns, children without labor and rainbows without thunderstorms. Trials not only bring us closer to our goals, but also make us into people we never dreamed of becoming. Don't be afraid of fears, fight them. This will open up new spaces for you. Yes, yes, we are again talking about the need to get out of your comfort zone. To find out your strength, you need to fight.
How to get rid of failure and become successful in 10 simple steps - instructions that work
Loser is not a death sentence! This is a reason to start working on yourself.
Of course, a miracle won’t happen on the first day, but heaven pats you on the head even for the intention. What can we say about constantly working on yourself - you are simply doomed to success!
And simple rules will help you get rid of bad luck:
- The first and most important step to success: stop whining! Don't complain to anyone about life. To no one, never, to anything. And forget words like terrible, bad, disgusting, etc. If you are asked “how are you doing?” always answer “great!”
- Give up negativity in your thoughts, in your forecasts, in your own programs for the near future. No anger, envy, greed, etc. Conquering the chaos in your own head is extremely important in order to bring order to life in general. How to become more positive in life?
- We fight fears - and learn to take risks! Do not doubt, do not hesitate and do not be afraid: just forward! The worst thing that can happen is that you will gain new life experiences. Therefore, we boldly look for a better job, change our place of residence and generally shake up our swamp.
- We begin to love ourselves. This does not mean sending everyone away, walking over the corpses and thinking only about yourself. This means stopping suffering, scolding yourself, feeling sorry and condemning, etc. Learn to treat yourself with respect. Value your time and your talents. Learn to analyze and adequately assess your capabilities.
- Diversify your life. The swamp is for losers. Be constantly on the move: communicate, travel and walk more, meet people, get a couple of hobbies, change your appearance and style, behavior and routes, etc.
- Program yourself only for success! Do you have an important meeting or call ahead? Or are you waiting for an interview? Or do you want to invite your future (as you would like) soul mate on a date? Don't be afraid of rejection, failure, collapse. Failure is just an experience! And you can only perceive it in this way - drawing conclusions and remembering your mistakes. The main thing is not to be afraid!
- Create your own plan for success. Start with a small goal that you have already stopped dreaming about, because “it won’t work anyway.” Consider all the steps that can lead you to this goal and take action. The one who walks will master the road!
- Surround yourself with positivity! Communicate only with positive, successful people, watch positive motivational films, read the right books, choose pleasant routes, surround yourself with pleasant things.
- Stop being lazy and wasting time . Give yourself an hour a day when you can be lazy, lie on the couch, read your feed on social networks, correspond without a purpose - for the mood, etc. Devote the rest of your time to working on yourself: read, study, communicate, develop willpower, fight bad habits.
- Constantly go beyond your usual boundaries. Expand your horizons in everything. Who said you can only be a carrot seller? Maybe there is a future famous musician in you who just needs a team and a little kick in the direction of success? Who said that you need to live where you were born? Travel! What if your city is not here at all?
And, of course, remember that you deserve happiness too. You need to believe in yourself. Self-confidence is a magnet for success.
But you must clearly understand what you want from life , and what in your opinion is a successful person. What settings you set for yourself - that’s how life will respond.
The site Colady.ru thanks you for your attention to the article! We will be very pleased if you share your feedback and tips in the comments below.
You are apathetic
You don't have an opinion and you can't make decisions. Unable to carry on intelligent conversations, unable to think openly if the topic is not from your area of expertise. Losers think that everyone should think the same way as them. Unsuccessful people don't read or study after school. At most, they graduate from college because “that’s the way it should be.” Even if they don't reach the limit of their potential, they don't care. They are capable of getting bored in a world of joy and miracles.
The quietest killer is apathy. Find yourself a hobby, do it. Even if you don't get paid for it. For now. Use your talent and find a use for it.
