Until recently, it was believed that men, like dogs, only thought about sex. And ladies, you know, shy away from marital duties, inventing various reasons from critical days to headaches. Today the emphasis has shifted. And men are increasingly refusing intimacy. According to statistics, 62% of men refuse sex more often than their life partners, and 42% make love only once every two weeks. Such data were obtained during a sociological survey in Britain. But sexual dissatisfaction can cause divorce. What's the matter?
Excess of aromas
Using strong odors kills male desire. Artificial scents are not that important. Many women forget about the natural body odor, which makes a partner more sexy than the best French perfume. It happens that strong and persistent odors clog the sense of smell, especially alcohol-containing substances. This turns a man off.
It is known that each person receives part of the information about his partner by inhaling the odors emitted through the nose. Perfume contains some of the necessary information that excites a man. At the physiological level, be it sexual intercourse or banal hugs, the nose reads information that is important to it. After using any perfume or cream, this part closes, the partner becomes confused and cannot do anything.
What to do in such a situation
First, the woman should try to talk about this topic with her husband.
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The main task is not to force your spouse to go to bed with you, but to try to understand why he no longer wants intimacy. Having found the root cause, a woman will be able to understand what she should do to normalize family life.
Advice. If the conversation doesn’t work out, then you should think about the level of trust between the spouses.
What to do if the husband does not want his wife? 3 important tips:
- Try to change your approach to sex. A woman must open up to her husband from a new, unexpected side, and again become attractive to him. You can buy yourself new underwear, visit a special store and buy interesting toys. You can also try new positions. It may be necessary to create an unusual situation.
- To change yourself. Get rid of extra pounds, change your hairstyle, buy yourself bright, interesting outfits. A woman should always remain sexually attractive to her husband.
- Take care not only of yourself and your child, but also of your husband. You can walk together, go on romantic dates, attend the theater and cinema.
Important! If possible, you need to organize a joint trip abroad. If both spouses are already experienced travelers, then they should consider changing their travel style. Beach holidays can be replaced by extreme ones.
Doesn't live up to the level
A completely ordinary moment in a man’s life when he cannot maintain the high bar that he has set for himself. Perhaps he avoids sex because he has decided for himself that he is bad in bed and cannot satisfy his partner. Or the reason was that the woman had an orgasm every time she had intercourse, and then one or two times in a row this did not happen.
Without asking the woman, the man decided that the bed relationship had come to an end. After all, his crown fell in his own eyes, and the woman is not aware of the events. Or a banal decline in erection, and again the crown fell.
In such a situation, the partner can help by talking, support the spouse, and explain that nothing bad happened.
Ridiculous excuses
A woman is not recommended to refer to migraines or fictitious health problems. Reluctance to fulfill marital duty can forever change a man's attitude towards you. Perhaps the partner will begin to look for the reason in himself or suspect the woman of cheating. Such factors will not lead to warm relationships in bed and will negatively affect mutual understanding in the family. Therefore, sex should become comfortable in everyday life and satisfy the needs of both in the couple.
How does the environment affect libido?
A person is forced to be in society. Every day you have to talk to people. Sellers, controllers, colleagues, friends, comrades - everyone takes away internal energy. The world around us has an impact on libido.
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Libido is related to the guy's internal state. A bad mood has a negative effect on erection. Difficulties at work, conflicts with loved ones - these things fill your head. A man stops thinking about sexual intimacy. I want to abstract myself from reality and forget myself.
A good mood, on the contrary, improves the quality of sexual life. A promotion, a pleasant evening in company - events that trigger the production of endorphins. Making “love” in an elevated state is a real pleasure.
There is no point in tormenting yourself with questions and reflection. It is enough to understand what is bothering your loved one and solve the problem.
No soul mate
Emotional intimacy is also very important in a relationship. It happens that a man does not see or feel emotions or moral support. A problem that arose in bed or in everyday life was not voiced in time. The woman showed no emotion once, then twice, and this developed into constant indifference. The easiest way is to start showing your emotions, even in small things. Then the man will feel morally satisfied and will be more confident in himself, which will lead to physical satisfaction.
We must not forget to praise and extol our man, to cultivate in him a sense of need for the family and superiority over other representatives of the stronger sex.
Perhaps your partner’s views on certain things or acceptable standards in bed have changed. Over time, the spouses have lost common interests; the man does not know what to talk about with his wife or what to do with her. He immediately begins to worry, be afraid, and then simply stops acting. Then sex becomes indifferent.
Correct conversation3
The easiest thing to do is to talk to your boyfriend and express the lack of intensity in your intimate life. But there are a couple of unpleasant nuances here:
- Women tend to throw around accusations without thinking instead of constructive dialogue. As a result, we will get a small quarrel or even a real scandal.
- Men very often tend to underestimate the criticality of the situation (features of thinking), as a result of which the outcome of the conversation will be zero.
So that the faithful does not think that you are fooling around or being crazy, he needs to carefully convey his message and make sure that he understands the problem correctly. Firstly, it is necessary to explain the criticality and painfulness of the lack of sex for a girl’s mood and women’s health. Secondly, you need to avoid accusations and ask about the reasons for his refusals.
Only the most narrow-minded and indifferent guy will begin to deny and turn the conversation into a joke. But in any case, the first alarm call will be delivered to his brain.
Answers from psychologists in the absence of sex with your wife
Allow each other to have personal space
Every person needs their own personal space. Many people miss it, and their relatives don’t even think about giving it. This results:
- to closure
- isolation,
- tension,
- bitterness.
When a person experiences such feelings, he is no longer interested in intimate relationships.
Allow him and yourself to have such space. And the time you can spend there.
Communicate more
You need to talk to each other more. And not only after intercourse. Just communicate like that. Don't you have any common themes? Yes, just “wash the bones” of your relatives and friends. This will unite you under a common interest.
Gradually start talking about sex. Where the following follows naturally.
Diversify intimate relationships
Stop lying on the same side. Well, it’s not interesting... Study the materials, use your imagination. Buy something for unexpected experiments.
If you are interested in this in more detail, then read the article: “How to surprise a man in bed.” Just right. There are some interesting features there. I guarantee you'll both love it.
Stir up each other's interest
Sometimes, instead of sending an SMS to your husband asking him not to forget to buy bread, you can send your intimate photos. Treat sex like a game, which means introducing elements of the game into your everyday, usually boring everyday life. “Scheduled sex” may also help. How we all look forward to the desired vacation, or, at worst, Friday! You can also expect sex - prepare, plan.
Complete rest
If your body lacks some vitamins, trace elements, minerals, and so on, then goodbye libido. Sometimes, if we are talking about female libido, just getting enough sleep. Especially if a woman with small children. So men, don’t pester too persistently, if you see that your wife is tired, she has no desire now, and there will be no pleasure. Let her just sleep.
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You will have to make an effort and find time to take care of yourself, wisely distributing your to-do list. In order for free minutes to appear, it is necessary to gently involve your spouse in new tasks.
An important point is the husband’s fear of causing pain or harm to his wife after childbirth during intimacy. Swollen breasts full of milk and stretch marks on the abdomen can confuse and extinguish desire. Do not rush to accuse him of coldness, talk frankly and explain that the body has already recovered and craves the usual affection, and other phenomena are temporary and gradually everything will return to normal.
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Advice for pregnant women and young mothers
If your child takes up all your time and thoughts, and your spouse has long faded into the background, try the following:
- While there is a ban on full sex life, engage in oral sex. This way, your husband will understand that he is still important to you, he will be able to fully relax, and mutual understanding will not leave the family.
- The birth of a baby is not a reason to forget about yourself. Clean clothes, walks in the fresh air, simple but cute hair styling, at least minimal exercise will allow you to remain attractive, even if the child is capricious and demanding. You certainly cannot forget about yourself.
Less nervousness, more affection and interest in each other, and everything will be fine.
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Radical therapy2
Like any important action, the battle for your partner's attention should begin with intelligence. Or rather, from a calm, open conversation. If a guy is smart, he will want to figure out this situation himself. Further actions depend on the identified cause:
- Workaholism is cured by taking an emergency vacation, even if it’s free. Take your loved one out of the annoying environment and give them a couple of days of rest. After rest, he himself will begin to persuade his soul mate to have sex. But this sounds simple only in words. If the next vacation is still a few months away, you need to help your spouse relieve emotional and physical stress. A high-quality massage, funny comedy and care will help a guy cope with critical situations and fatigue. And a young man surrounded by care will definitely want to “thank” his sweetheart.
- With diseases, everything is more complicated; a medical specialist is needed here. If hormonal imbalance is to blame, it can be eliminated with proper nutrition and exercise; hormonal drugs are prescribed in difficult cases.
- Addiction to hobbies is treated with the “temptress wife” regime; knowing the weak points of your partner, nothing prevents you from using them to awaken the desire of your chosen one.
Everyone knows that men love with their eyes. But eyes are not the only way to the heart of a loved one. You should pay no less attention to your smell; a clean female body causes a wave of excitement in any male. A small amount of perfume won't hurt either.
- If the problem is with the girl, she must fix it herself (if she wants, of course), it’s worth asking the guy which type suits him best. This should only be done if there is reciprocity, if the young man has worked on himself for your sake.
- Monitor your behavior and conversations. Maybe the girl herself is having troubles at work, and she’s taking out the negativity on her lover.
- A radical change of image can also help. Try to surprise your partner. Jeans and sweatshirts with sneakers are undoubtedly very comfortable clothes. But an elegant dress and stilettos can excite a man’s imagination no worse than a porn film.
- For couples with extensive marital experience, we can advise trying to return the relationship to the very first “candy” period. Start flirting with your man. Intimate correspondence, small but pleasant gifts, exciting touches to sensitive areas. Remember how the stronger sex reacts to a languid voice, a sincere smile and gentle tactile contact.
It is recommended to take care of this problem in advance. Regularly arrange intimate evenings for your partner, try to keep yourself well-groomed, and don’t let yourself get caught up in work. It is worth regularly changing the scenario of bed games.
The problem is that the guy should have a similar return. This is not only the secret of regular sex, but also the key to a happy union.
When to seek advice from a psychologist
If a man does not want to talk, constantly avoids answering and is more often late at work, this is a reason to visit a psychologist. He will take into account all the factors and tell you what to do when your husband refuses intimacy. First, only a woman should come to a psychologist. After 1-2 consultations, you can bring your spouse.
If the reason for the husband’s cooling was his relationship with another woman, then the solutions will be different. For a woman who has learned about the existence of a mistress, the priority becomes the question of “forgive or let go.”
