The issue of ending a relationship becomes extremely relevant when it ceases to bring joy or minimal benefit. Women are looking for ways to leave a tyrant husband, as well as how to leave someone they no longer love in order to save their soul. The reasons vary and their weight, seriousness and urgency vary from couple to couple, but there are some basic general principles for ending any relationship.
Those thinking about leaving their husband should consider the most serious reasons. It happens that people ruin relationships that are still alive because of a trifle, but it happens the other way around - they do not notice serious warning signs. Trying to stay in a relationship that is destroying your personality because you have come up with a fairy tale about eternal love can be the greatest folly in life. The main criterion for leaving or trying to renew a good relationship is solely your own well-being next to this person, and not the presence of children, the opinions of others and any social norms.
Why is it difficult for a woman to leave her husband?
Even the happiest family relationships can suddenly reach a dead end from which there is no way out. Therefore, many married women have a desire to leave their husband. But not every woman is able to decide to take such a step.
What's stopping you? There are a lot of factors:
- lack of courage;
- fear that children and closest people will not understand such an act;
- lack of understanding of where to go and how to continue to provide for oneself and children;
- fear of judgment from strangers;
- fear that the ex-husband will pursue and ask to return.
Each woman has her own story, but sometimes all of these factors overlap. In this case, being married becomes a real torture, which is repeated day after day.
It can be very difficult for women to decide on divorce.
During a heated quarrel, especially one involving beliefs, every woman may have a desire to get a divorce. This is a normal reaction to negative emotions. After a quarrel, such thoughts usually go away. Another question is when desire gradually accumulates and occupies all thoughts.
Putting things in order in our heads
First of all, you need to calm down and ask yourself: is there any hope that this will pass or not? Our mood depends on a thousand little things, like the weather outside and hormonal levels. On certain days, even the most harmless action can cause a flood of tears and indignation. Therefore, you need to come to an even state of mind.
Next, you need to look at the situation from the outside, as objectively as possible. There is such a good method for this as writing. Just sit down and throw out everything that excites and worries you on paper. Then you read, but it’s as if it’s not about yourself, but about your best friend! It becomes much clearer to see all the acute and controversial issues.
Let's say your fears are confirmed: nothing can be fixed, you need to leave. What's next?
When is it healthy to want to leave your husband?
There are situations in which the desire to leave your husband is justified. Further cohabitation does not make sense and spoils the life of both people from the married couple, but especially the woman.
So, divorce will be the best option in such cases:
- Alcoholism (drug addiction) in men . A woman does not immediately decide to leave her alcoholic husband. First, she tries with all her might to cure her loved one of his addiction. But when neither persuasion, nor threats, nor tears no longer work, and the man is constantly on a drinking binge, the best choice would be to destroy such a family.
- Violence (physical or mental). Tyrant husbands almost never rehabilitate. Living with such a person means becoming the subject of insults and beatings every day. No one deserves such a life, and love has absolutely nothing to do with it.
- Constant betrayals. Every woman has a choice - to forgive betrayal or not, but only if it is isolated. But a man who cheats chronically, and does not hide it, is definitely not worth your love or your presence next to him.
- Financial difficulties. Life is very unpredictable, so any person can lose their job and permanent income at one moment. These problems are temporary and can be overcome. But if it is the norm for a man to constantly sit on his wife’s neck, then in no case should this be overlooked.
An obstacle to the decision to divorce is often judgment and fear of being alone.
These reasons are objective and truly significant. There is also a situation when, separately, a man and a woman are considered wonderful people, but when they are together, they simply cannot avoid constant scandals. Incompatibility of characters and different outlooks on life are the most common reasons for this phenomenon. And it happens that it is impossible to resolve the situation without divorce.
"Love has passed." Can this be called an indication for divorce? No one can be one hundred percent sure that his feelings for his loved one will not cool down. But if there really was love, then there is always a chance to return it. After all, no one can guarantee that the new person in your life will not become just as indifferent after some time.
How do children feel when their family collapses?
In such a situation, it is important to take into account the interests of children. The biggest mistake many unhappy couples make is that they choose to endure an unsatisfying relationship for the sake of their children. This is not beneficial either to the spouses themselves or to their children. Children see an unhealthy family model and adopt it, writing it down in the subconscious.
If they do not see an example of a happy marriage in which mutual respect and love reigns, there is a high risk of repeating this scenario in their future families.
In the event of a divorce, it is important to inform your children about the planned separation together with your spouse.
It is important to discuss in advance how to interact in the future and maintain a healthy, peaceful relationship. If it is not possible to divorce your husband without discussing future interaction, the child issue will need to be resolved through the court, and this will further traumatize the children.
The greatest distress experienced by children during a divorce is due to the following reasons:
- fear of the unknown;
- feeling of guilt for the broken marriage of parents;
- fear of losing contact with parents.
The task of parents is to assure their children that divorce will not have any impact on their attitude towards them. It is also worth conveying in a language understandable to children the reasons for the separation and voicing thoughts regarding the format of maintaining relationships in the future.
The more information parents can convey to them, the easier it will be for children to cope with their experiences.
To reduce stress levels for children, you should pay more attention to them. During the period of divorce, they are going through a crisis, but communication and creating a favorable atmosphere will ease emotional suffering. Support should come from both parents so as not to aggravate feelings about the loss of contact with one of them.
There is no need to avoid children's questions. They should be listened to and explained what is happening in the family. It will not be possible to do without worries, but if you are patient and support the smallest family members, adaptation to new living conditions will be less painful.
How to decide on divorce and how to move on
So, how to decide to divorce a person with whom you have lived a certain part of your life. It is important to understand that your life does not end after a divorce, and there is a high probability that you will still meet the person you love. If you find it difficult to find the strength to take action, find like-minded people. This could be your mother or any other relative, friend or colleague.
You can also contact a psychologist. If your problem can be solved, you can go to sessions with your husband. If the decision to divorce is firm and unshakable, go for help and advice.
An alcoholic husband is one of the justifiable reasons for divorce.
To start a new and free life, follow the algorithm:
- Be prepared for the fact that divorce is a long and exhausting process.
- Discuss your desires with your husband. If he is not a tyrant, a drunkard or a drug addict, then it would be better to remain on good terms with him.
- Set your priorities. If your married life did not last long and you do not claim anything, then the process will take less of your time and effort.
- For spouses who have children, divorce will be more difficult. You need to discuss who the children will stay with, when the other spouse will be able to see them, and the amount of child support.
- Don't quarrel, don't sort things out, and don't make accusations against each other. It probably won't do any good. Try to leave quietly and in a civilized manner.
- Discuss financial matters. To avoid forgetting anything and being left with nothing, consult a lawyer. Find out what rights you and your husband have. If you have children together, then the financial issue regarding their future life comes almost to the fore.
You must tell your intentions with complete seriousness so that your husband understands that you are not joking. If your marriage still has a chance, it may make a man change and think about your role in his life.
Divorce is a long process that requires constant discussion.
Let's pull ourselves together
Any changes in life cause side effects. It is unlikely that the husband will calmly or even joyfully accept the news of the divorce. Any methods can be used: promises to improve, gifts, demonstrative insults, aggressive attacks, assault. Therefore, we don’t speak ahead of schedule! For our own safety. Especially if you are pregnant!
Breaking attachments is not an easy task; at first there will be strong emotional swings. One of the reasons to remain silent is to prevent yourself from clinging to your old life and giving up on discomfort. It will be scary - that's normal. But once we decide, we go to the end.
How to leave an alcoholic or tyrant husband
A husband suffering from alcoholism or drug addiction, as well as a tyrant husband who constantly physically abuses you, is a threat to your life. Therefore, the process of divorcing him requires a more scrupulous approach. How to leave an alcoholic husband? Follow these tips:
- Don't start a serious conversation when your husband is drunk or aggressive. Communicate your intentions when he is sober and, preferably, do it on neutral territory.
- Tell your closest people about your desire to get a divorce - your parents, your girlfriend. Ask them for help.
- Find yourself a place to live and collect money for the first time.
- Keep your car and apartment keys, as well as money and other valuables, in a safe place that is out of reach of your husband but within easy reach of you. If necessary, you will need to take these items and leave the house quickly.
A tyrant husband can be a threat to your life and the lives of your children.
If your life or the life of your child is threatened, then there is a need to contact law enforcement agencies. At that moment, this may be the only and correct decision.
A child will be happier with one parent than in a complete but unhealthy family
Believe me, even if you have to leave your husband with a child, both for him and for you this act can be decisive in the long term to live a happy and calm life. Listen to yourself and don't be afraid of change. They are only for the better!
Child support
Both spouses are responsible for the costs of caring for their children after they separate, even if they were not legally married. In any case, the spouse who does not remain in the family with the children must pay alimony, which goes towards:
- daily content;
- additional needs for children with disabilities;
- post-secondary education;
- additional education.
