16 tips for anyone in a relationship

In this article we will tell you:

10 Problems That Cause Couples to Fight
5 reasons why relationships fail
12 tips on how to improve your relationship with a guy
5 tips for maintaining a long-distance relationship with a guy

From TV screens or the pages of books, we learn about ideal relationships and dream of the same ones, feeling a sense of envy for the heroines who drew a lucky ticket and met the prince who turned their life into a fairy tale. But no movie or story depicts a 100% perfect relationship. Even the strongest couples are tested for strength. The law of the genre. Just like in life.

When we quarrel with our loved ones, the ground seems to disappear from under our feet. We experience anxiety, uncertainty about ourselves and our future together, and we come up with the darkest options for how the situation will develop. Subconsciously, all people strive for peaceful coexistence. Few people like quarrels, because they are very exhausting. If you value communication, it is important for you to know how to improve a relationship with a guy that can deteriorate for various reasons.

Don't compare your relationships to stories from books and movies

Stop trying to repeat the love story from your favorite movie, book, and especially fairy tales. You are not Cinderella and the Prince, not Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet (or Bridget Jones), not Tony Stark and Pepper Potts, your relationship is developing differently, and that's okay.

And then, before plunging into the vanilla abyss called “happily ever after,” the characters go through a series of difficulties, because conflict is the engine of the plot. Create your own “happily ever after” without serial wisdom and without regard to the fantasies of screenwriters and writers.

Recommendations for zodiac signs

Aries are very patient and good-natured by nature. A partner’s mistakes are usually easily forgiven and forgotten forever.
Taurus are touchy and stubborn. Even if a man continues to love his partner, it can be difficult to restore former trust after a quarrel.
An attempt to return Gemini will meet with decisive resistance bordering on hatred. With your words you have caused a mental wound and there is nothing to talk about with you. We have to wait. The guy will cool down and speak on his own.
Cancer should be handled carefully, like a fragile glass vase. You will have to work hard to earn trust again.
Leos are demanding of themselves and their partners. A man will rush to help if you need it, but he will not rush to return to the old relationship.
Virgos strive for perfection in everything. If your partner is not happy with something about you, you will have to work on yourself.
Libras do not make unnecessary movements; they are always ready to listen before making an informed decision.
Scorpios are impulsive. They are ready to take apart a casually thrown phrase and accuse you of causing universal offense. It’s worth waiting a little, trying to explain that there was no secret intent, and soon everything will work out.
To quarrel with a Sagittarius, you need to try hard. He is always sympathetic to someone else's point of view. Sagittarius's cup of patience is enormous, but if the last drop has fallen into it, he leaves, burning bridges.
Capricorns rarely step back and resolutely break off relationships without giving a second chance.
Aquarius is a very difficult and capricious sign. He accepts care and attention, but is in no hurry to reciprocate, although he knows in advance how everything will end.
The best strategy in relationships with Pisces is to let go of the situation, but stay close. They don't tolerate any pressure.

Don't ignore warning signs

In most relationships there is a presentation period when both partners try to appear better than they really are. And if already at the candy-bouquet stage you see danger signals, do not ignore them, trust your intuition.

Unreasonable outbursts of aggression, rudeness towards waiters, unflattering statements about exes and other things that bother you can easily be attributed to “it seemed” and “he/she will improve.” Most likely, it didn’t seem to you and your partner will not correct himself. Think soberly about whether you are ready to deal with such negative manifestations regularly.

Basic rules and recommendations

Most married couples go through a crisis of misunderstanding. It is not always possible to avoid a stormy showdown, but minimizing the risks of negative consequences is quite possible.

Regardless of what caused the quarrel, try to maintain your composure. Do not stoop to banal insults and shouting, be on top. If once again the desire to discuss a problem results in a showdown, let the situation go for a while.

Take it as an axiom that the psychology of a man and a woman are two only occasionally coinciding realities. If you do not try to accept that your husband does not want to intentionally offend you, but is simply protecting his ego from attacks, then nothing will work.

Has your always intelligent, smiling spouse turned into a brawler, starting a quarrel on any occasion? It's time to seriously think about how to improve relations with your husband on the verge of breaking up.

Disconnect from emotions, go alone, try to understand the deeper meaning of what is happening. Write down your thoughts on paper. Don’t start listing the negative qualities of a man: selfish, doesn’t keep his word, doesn’t help around the house, doesn’t take care of the child. Nothing good will come of this. For some reason you fell in love with him!

When you find a “string”, pulling which you will gradually begin to unwind the tangle of misunderstanding and untangle the knots, everything will go smoothly. At first glance, the task seems impossible.

Psychologists have come up with a method called goal decomposition or “how to eat a whole elephant”? Try to break a global problem into many small ones. Figure out whether everything is fine in the family, considering various aspects - mutual understanding, solving everyday problems, sex, recreation, relationships with parents, your appearance. Give yourself an honest answer to the questions: are you doing everything right? So as not to wonder in the future how to improve a relationship with a man? Decide whether it is important for you to remain right in everything or the harmony of family relationships?

Under any circumstances, it is important to take responsibility. “If I became the cause of this situation, even if indirectly, then it is in my power to fix it.” Taking the first step is not weakness. It is much easier to blame everyone around you than to admit your own mistakes.

But you are only responsible for your own mistakes. If your spouse unfairly accused you, and you responded with rudeness, what happened is partly your fault. But this only applies to conflicts. Continuous drunkenness, aggression, and domestic violence should not be forgiven. Having raised his hand once, a man will try again.

See if relationships make life easier

If your love story consists entirely of difficulties, overcoming, quarrels and rare but bright bouts of happiness, this is an unhealthy relationship. People quickly get used to the emotional swing, when despair and delight alternate, and can consider themselves quite happy with it.

But answer yourself honestly: does your partner make your life easier or complicate it? Do you feel happy more often than unhappy? Don't wait for the Titanic of your love to sink, get on the boat. Otherwise, you may not have enough space on the saving door.

In what cases is reconciliation possible after a quarrel?

Of course, you need to go for reconciliation when your relationship is quite strong and serious, and the quarrel is not related to something serious like betrayal or betrayal. There are unforgivable situations - and they really should not be forgiven, since in this case they are likely to be repeated in the future. But in any normal relationship, people sometimes quarrel due to differences in character and outlook on life, so these kinds of petty quarrels should not ruin your relationship.

If mutual feelings, sympathy and affection remain

In cases where your situation was difficult and the quarrel was based on a serious problem, but there are still mutual feelings and love between you, you should definitely give each other a chance. It is possible that you just need to talk in detail and together come to the most correct solution to the problem in order to patch up the quarrel and avoid negative consequences. Even if you need to wait and be alone for some time before reconciliation, this is normal. The main thing is that then you can tell each other everything openly and return your feelings to relevance.

The quarrel was not serious

There are also moments when a quarrel occurred out of nowhere. For example, a young man had a difficult day at work and, amid a bad mood, he lost his temper and yelled at the girl. You need to be able to forgive and forget such moments, because these quarrels are not too serious and are not worth it for you and your boyfriend to waste your time, energy and nerves on them.

Other situations

There are other possible situations when it is simply important to make peace and it is worth it. For example, if you quarreled because you haven’t seen each other for a long time and were bored too much. Sometimes this also leads to a quarrel. It is important to correctly assess the seriousness of the situation, weigh the pros and cons in order to make an informed decision about the need to make peace and continue the relationship.

Don't chase the ghosts of your exes

If you didn't meet in kindergarten, your partner was most likely already in a relationship. Just leave them in the past, no need to constantly compare yourself with your ex, check their pages on social networks and count how many likes they give to your spouse.

By the way, you probably had a relationship too. And you should forget about them too. It is very easy to start idealizing a person with whom you have a romantic history. But think about it: if the ex was wonderful, he wouldn’t be an ex.

How and what to write to a guy if he is very offended

If a young man is very offended, it means that the girl has managed to seriously hurt his feelings or pride. To restore peaceful relationships, you can try to start the first communication after a quarrel via SMS or on social networks. And here the girl has a question about what she can write to the guy in order to shift the conversation to the topic of reconciliation.

First of all, it is very important to admit your guilt and sincerely apologize to the young man for the rude things said or done. This first step will surely melt the ice in his heart. If you live together, you can, as a gesture of reconciliation, welcome him back from school or work with a romantic dinner, during which you can talk in a pleasant atmosphere and make peace.

You should not start your conversation with reproaches or comments about the past quarrel - otherwise there is a risk that instead of reconciliation, you will only quarrel even more. It’s better to talk about the good sides of each other and your relationship, emphasize what is important for you to preserve in them and what you are ready to do together for this.

You can also write him a sweet SMS with a declaration of love and emphasize that you love him, despite all your problems and quarrels. This is also a good option.

Psychology2

Before you understand how to make peace after a quarrel, it is worth remembering that female and male psychology are different. Screaming and throwing out emotions is normal and familiar for a woman, because her mood changes many times a day. For a man, such a phenomenon is something unusual and unusual for him. After all, his emotional state is much more stable than that of his companion.

Therefore, a woman quickly moves away from scandals and is ready to tune in to the wave of normal communication again. Psychologists advise giving a man time to comprehend the conflict in his head. You shouldn’t immediately try to hang yourself, talk about your mistakes and ask to start all over again. A man needs to think about what happened, weigh all the words spoken. Therefore, the best solution is to give him time to rest.

He can go to a friend’s house, go out for a walk with the dog, or just sit silently at his laptop before work. You shouldn’t approach him with suspicion and try to convict him of something. A man just wants to rest after a conflict, relax and relieve tension.

As a sign of reconciliation, you can invite him to dinner in a calm voice and talk during the meal. Psychologists advise not to make a festive show out of the reconciliation process, for which dozens of luxurious dishes are prepared. This is unacceptable and stupid. After all, a quarrel is a common everyday phenomenon, and reconciliation should be the same.

If offensive words were said by a woman, it is worth apologizing during dinner and saying that it was said in a fit of anger.

But what should a man do? 3

If with ladies everything is clear and clear that they think most about how to behave after a quarrel in order to make peace, then men are not always the initiators. Therefore, they do not fully know all the subtleties of the female mental organization. If a companion must be left alone after a conflict, then a companion - no way!

For a man, being alone after a scandal is a common occurrence, allowing him to relieve stress and tension. For a woman, on the contrary, this is stress and a period of active paranoia, when she can think of something that will linger for several more weeks. If a man, after a conflict situation, can go to his workplace and completely immerse himself in work, a woman cannot do this. She thinks about the quarrel, examines it from all sides and points of view, comes up with some new phrases and options for the outcome of events. And leaving her alone in this state is dangerous and fraught with consequences. Therefore, if a man initiated the quarrel, after it you must be close to your companion and maintain communication.