My husband has a lover - What to do if your spouse cheated with another guy

When a heterosexual wife finds out about her husband's lover, it turns her world upside down. All relationships have rules. We expect our other half to keep our interests in mind, even when various temptations push us to violate them. Cheating occurs in both heterosexual and same-sex relationships, although expectations may differ. In both cases, you have to answer for it.

Here are some possible signs of infidelity:

1. Something is disrupting the normal course of the relationship.
2. A husband who cheats with his lover or mistress may suddenly become angry, picky or dissatisfied.
3. The husband may feel guilty, anxious, or distant.
4. The attention he pays to his wife, including sexual attention, decreases or increases sharply.

How it happens

“Sergey” is a man of about fifty-five, married, with two children, one of whom is disabled. His wife suspected that her husband was cheating with a man and began looking for evidence to prove it. She found his gay chat username and password, and then began sending emails on his behalf, as if she were someone interested in meeting. Not knowing that the messages were actually from his wife, one of the contacts arranged to meet “him” for coffee. So Sergei’s secret life was exposed.

He apologized to his wife, admitted his guilt and that he had done wrong. He made no excuses for his sexuality, but told his wife that she had every right to feel offended. Sergei's wife reluctantly put him on probation. The husband agreed, which led to radical changes in their relationship.

The husband promised to leave his lover and stop dating men, but did not do this.

My husband cheated... with a friend

Good afternoon My story is probably still within the same framework of an “unhappy family in its own way”, contrasted with a classic equally happy one.

I’ll start from the very beginning, because the dynamics of the relationship will become clearer and, perhaps, more understandable from the outside than at the moment to myself.

We met under amazing circumstances - a bunch of very small fragments came together for him to get my phone number (I was looking for an employee). He managed to call precisely at that moment, after which the meeting with him most likely would not have taken place at all. He (according to him) was immediately fascinated, at that time my previous relationship was ending, I was terribly depressed, I didn’t look at young people at all. He waited patiently. Or impatiently - his sister later told me that, having seen me at that moment with my boyfriend, my future husband completely erased my cell phone number from his phone and disappeared. But when my relationship ended, he simply brought me back to life - systematically, tactfully, took me for walks, did not express any inclinations, built such a cocoon of care and attention around me that I, who swore to let anyone into my heart , melted. I just lost myself in passion and adoration, like I was in a whirlpool.

I took the first step towards our intimacy - he became my first man. Which is a very serious act for a person of my beliefs and upbringing. He was romantic, I thought that this was not his first time, but after a while he admitted to me that for him it was also the first time with me - before, those who liked him did not want intimacy with him, and those who those who wanted, he did not need. We coincided, despite completely different and complementary characters in many small details. From the disc we fell in love with the same melody, adored the same films, completely unaware of each other's choices, etc.

Because my parents would not allow me to live with a young man without marriage, we began to talk about marriage. He joyfully and proudly introduced me to his friends as his bride, and arranged a solemn request for marriage from my parents - romantic and beautiful. I was simply incredibly happy - so different and so complementary to each other, it seemed to me an ideal and an incredible destiny. I'm sure he was happy too! So much tenderness, joy, plans for the future, vows and romance...

My personal life was full of experiments, I tried to diversify it with dressing up, all sorts of romantic and extreme moments... My husband is a very talented person in his field, I tried to support his work, gave him a lot of advice and inspired him. We traveled, did alternative photo shoots for our wedding, had parties, walked - and everything seemed great.

The first year I was unlucky with work, but I built up an excellent portfolio, and after a year my income not only caught up with my husband’s stable but modest salary, but also significantly surpassed it. After 2 years, we decided to have a baby, my husband said that the child should be taken care of in some especially beautiful place, we went on a most romantic trip. We prepared together, attended parenting courses, both did not drink alcohol for almost a year before conception, etc. After 9 months, our charming daughter was born, my husband was with me at the birth, he helped me a lot, supported me... He was sincerely happy about my daughter, paid a lot of attention to her and me, etc. I was on official maternity leave - I still wanted to quit my job. I became interested in promising new directions within the framework of my hobbies, and achieved significant success while sitting at home near my computer. My daughter suffered from this - she either forgot to take a walk or forgot to feed her - but this is typical for men)

At this time I continued to work, I left 2 months after giving birth, because... my income still formed the backbone of the budget. He collected his salary for his computer, a luxury camera for himself (it’s far from photography, it’s just a hobby), a TV (we don’t watch it, he sometimes played the console on it or watched cartoons). Then quarrels began to appear - at first quiet, then more active, he began to say that, supposedly, it was because he was on maternity leave that he could not achieve anything beyond the limits, although he himself managed to change jobs, where they were simply waiting for him, and that’s all.

At 2.2 years old, the child was sent to kindergarten, the husband went to work - but there was no work, because... the boss became interested in new directions. We bought a car - initially he convinced me that this would benefit everyone, he would be able to take me to sites, we would go out into nature with the child, etc. In fact, he became a frequent visitor to his grandmother. And this grandmother lives in a village, about 40 minutes from our city, his childhood friends and girlfriends are there. Because Previously, it took a lot of time to get there with a lot of transfers, but I was very happy that we had the opportunity to look after my grandmother, for her to see her great-granddaughter, my husband to see his friends, etc.

Then he began to devote all weekends to this, and he did not take me and my daughter with him under various pretexts, but because... I have a lot of work (I worked two jobs without breaks or days off), I didn’t particularly protest. I was sincerely indignant at the neglect of my husband’s talents at his work. I was torn between my family and my employment, which slowly but surely bore fruit in the form of a good reputation, income, victories, etc. In general, 6 years have passed since the wedding.

And then a turning point occurred, which became, apparently, the final impetus for his rebirth - his best friend died in a car accident. My husband got drunk for the first time at his funeral. I didn’t touch it - the person is stressed, everything is clear. But then amazing things began - my husband said that he stopped loving me, “let’s live separately, our relationship is a mistake,” I only irritate him, he wants adventures and adventures, I’m not experienced enough in sex, I’m too correct, he got married early (to us was 23 years old), and in general, he doesn’t want to be responsible for anything or anyone, I personally wanted a child, etc. I was in such shock that I simply couldn’t believe it, it seemed to me that these were simply the consequences of the death of a friend, a crisis, etc.

His weekend trips to the village became the norm. Photos and correspondence appeared with some strange young children - supposedly the girls of the deceased, who, you see, were connected with my husband by a common grief. Because the friend was very loving, and there were several girls. And almost all of them are almost half my husband’s age. At first I commented ironically, then I started teasing, then I simply posed the question bluntly: “Why do you need them, what might you have in common? It doesn’t look good on me and our family, and in general.” There were suspicions, scenes of jealousy, but no facts.

These were the most terrible winter and spring of my life - I went to a psychotherapist, then to fortune tellers, everyone kept talking about letting go of the situation, the need to overcome yourself, let him feel like a man, personal space, etc. He put passwords on phones and social networks, which had not happened before. One spring, he left our family at a friends wedding to go photograph his “girlfriend’s” graduation. In response to my indignation that, supposedly, there really isn’t a camera closer, he snapped. Then they made up. In general, he changed extremely, he no longer talked about divorce, but became rude and lustful, extremely cheeky with me, allowed profanity, in general, became sloppy, stopped working completely, did not allocate a single ruble for the family, we did not pay his salaries at all did not see.

Against the backdrop of this whole nightmare, a number of diseases worsened for me, I went through several operations, and this man could lie calmly when I, with open bleeding, asked him to go to the pharmacy for me. I walked by myself, then an ambulance took me away, and he, as if nothing had happened, continued to sleep. And this is a man who swore a couple of years ago that he would not allow a single tear from me and would lay down his life for the happiness of his family... I understand that people change, but so...

The summer was so-so, I held back, he didn’t openly provoke. And then my gynecologist discovered that I had a bunch of sexually transmitted diseases... I have never experienced such shame and horror in my life!!! This was the last straw, I showed him the test results and asked to whom I owe such joy... He replied that it was one of his friends, with whom he had intercourse more than once, either to spite his wife, for the sake of interest and “new sexual sensations.” I was amazed by his partner - he was such a village “BOY”, a most primitive and simply narrow-minded person, about whom there were persistent rumors that he had repeatedly cheated on his wife.

I was just in shock, and the next day we got into an accident due to my husband’s fault - I had a concussion and my working right hand was damaged, everything else was intact. I barely kicked him out of the house as soon as I left the hospital, he didn’t even help me with my work, although he had recently been fired, and my earnings have recently been the only source of income in the family. At the same time, he completely neglected the child, did not devote even 10 minutes a day to her, he only took her to kindergarten (paid for by me!) in the morning. No help around the house either. I always think: either do it yourself, or earn money to have others do it for you.

I’m so tired of being alone for everyone, for everyone, I’ve lost my faith in men, in love, the feeling of just such a broken trough and complete collapse. I have a daughter, but what used to please and touch her resemblance to her father now irritates me terribly, I can’t help it. Now it seems to me that this is natural - he has fallen too childish to behave like a man, and such a relationship (in a passive role, of course) was probably quite logical for him. One of my friends says that this is a fairly common phenomenon now.

I wanted to ask for advice. Is cheating with a man the lesser of two evils? My heart is not in the right place, it seems to me that such experiments could lead my husband not only to a friend, but also to other women (my husband repeatedly said in the winter that he fantasized about love in a threesome or more massive). This would definitely confirm to me that I must break up with him, because such betrayal is indisputable and cannot be forgiven, because it is BETRAYAL, first of all. Feelings, family, our future, etc.

He is the father of my child. I cannot tell my parents about our separation - they have very strict rules, they are almost 70 years old, and this will be a terrible blow for them. I tried to turn to my mother-in-law - she at one time left her husband who cheated on her and left with two children - who else but her could support me? She burst into tears, said that she was tired of us all, and ran away.

I've been living with my daughter for a week now. There's simply no time to cry. There is such a lump inside, like at a dentist appointment as a child. Today I dropped by to pick up my things, sat with my daughter for 20 minutes and pestered me. Leopard change his spots? But he wasn’t like that! If only there had been even the slightest hint earlier, there was no one to be offended by, it was her own fault, and so... Until they officially filed for divorce, they decided to wait until NG. What to expect - what will drive him to find a family and repent? I am terribly confused, in my heart I hope for a miracle that everything will be fine and even better with our family, but I myself understand how unlikely such a development of events is. What to do? Am I doing the right thing?

Why is this happening

Although guys usually come out at a younger age, there are situations where many men are unable to do so. So in some societies such recognition is simply impossible. For example, a young gay Chinese student wrote that because he is the eldest son, in his cultural tradition he is expected to marry and take care of his parents. He felt he could not give up his commitment and wanted to get married, even though he was physically unable to interact with a woman sexually. If he had done this, then as a husband he would almost certainly have taken a lover.

Some men who have sex with men think they are too straight to be gay, while others think they are too gay to be straight. Many of them are married. About 7% of men have sex with men, but the number of gay men is estimated at about 4% of the population.

These figures indicate that about 3% of gay men do not consider themselves gay.

In one study in New York, nearly 10% of men identified as straight but had sex exclusively with men, and nearly 10% of married men had had an affair or sex with another man in the previous year. In ordinary life and official statistics, such people are practically invisible.

Should I tell my children?

If the husband communicates with another man, then solving this problem is not at all easy. When he leaves the family for his new lover, and you have children, you have to decide what to tell them. Should we initiate them or not into their father’s secret? How to explain to them the appearance of someone else’s uncle on the horizon, because of which their mommy and daddy want to separate? Of course, this issue must be resolved with the father of your children. You must together choose the optimal version of what is happening and not change it, so as not to confuse your offspring. Please note that the age of the children directly affects the amount of truth in your revelations.

Children under a certain age generally find it difficult to understand the issue of sexual orientation. A child aged 3–4 years has just learned to speak clearly, so it is better for such children not to know anything and to come up with some kind of story. For example: “Your dad and I can no longer live together because we are very different. We still love you and will never leave you. Dad will stay with his friend for now, and you will see him whenever you want.”

Between the ages of 7 and 10, the truth about your father's orientation should be revealed at your discretion. You can talk about this in a playful way, speaking respectfully about dad. If your husband does not hide his inclinations from society, it is better to illuminate the true state of affairs to the child. Otherwise, “well-wishers” will tell the truth, which will alienate the child from you and provoke the emergence of psychological problems.

Remember that if you learn about your father's homosexuality only in adolescence, the child will receive a much greater blow. After all, it is teenagers who take such news the hardest, as they immediately begin to develop complexes and even hate their parents.

Take the question of whether or not to tell your child that your husband loves other men as seriously as possible. The responsibility for conveying information to your children about their father's sexuality rests solely on your shoulders. But you can contact a psychologist so that he can tell you how to do this competently and not cause mental trauma to your child.

What should a wife do?

Many wives are ashamed to say that their husband has an affair, and if they do, their acquaintances usually say: “Get rid of him. He who betrayed once will betray twice.” There is data to support this.

Women's sexual orientation can be dynamic and change over time, but researchers generally agree that men's homosexual interests never change. It is estimated that 60% of cheaters do it again, but the numbers for married gay men may be much higher.

Is it necessary to forgive betrayal?

This is the most important question that a woman needs to deal with when she finds out about her lover’s infidelity. People often come to a psychologist with the request: “My husband is cheating, what should I do, how should I behave?” and are waiting for ready-made advice. Not every woman will have her own answer, and it will not come quickly.

A decision may take weeks or even months, and you must be prepared for it to change ten times a day. Only you yourself can understand how much this betrayal hurt you, whether you want to continue to be with this person and whether you can trust him again.

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Many take the position “I must save the family at any cost for the sake of the children” and remain with the cheater, never forgiving him. But experts believe that no one can say with one hundred percent certainty that such a choice will actually be correct for the children themselves. We still cannot think for another person, even a small one.

It is much safer to focus on your feelings. It would be better for mom and dad to be happy alone than to be unhappy together. Often, as adults, children remember their parents’ divorce with relief: “The scandals have finally stopped.” Therefore, it is worth saving the family only for its own sake.

Work most often becomes a place of temptation for men. A University of Washington study found that 62% of husbands cheated on their wives with coworkers they met in the office.

How serious was the husband's guilt?

Sex on the side is not the biggest problem if a guy cheated on a girl with another guy; lies used to cover up a crime are much more destructive. The deceived spouse experiences a mixture of feelings: anger, resentment, righteous indignation and a desire for revenge. Lying undermines trust, which is the foundation of any successful relationship.

Healing requires restoring trust, because without forgiveness, betrayal will destroy any union. If a couple decides to stay together, it may take years to begin to trust each other again.

Let's look at what to do if your husband is gay from a psychological point of view. The most important factors influencing the ability to successfully overcome the crisis are:

1. The severity of the offense.
2. How dear the relationship is to the partners.
3. The extent to which the cheating husband sincerely apologizes.
4. Conciliatory behavior.
5. The ability to forgive.
6. The personality of each person.

Sergei thought that admitting his mistake balanced his guilt. He claimed that his intentions were good and that he lied to his wife to protect her. Some gay husbands believe their behavior was unintentional or due to extenuating circumstances; therefore they should be forgiven. For married gay men with a family who have led heterosexual lives, coming out is a very difficult matter.

But for women married to a gay husband who has an affair, things are just as difficult. Confessing a husband's lover can lead to their social censure and loss of social status. Such shame can lead to feelings of hatred and a desire to hide or run away, which is why in some cases the straight spouse clings to his relationship with his gay husband.

How to behave with a husband who cheated: 6 absolute no-nos

1. Ignore the problem

If the ostrich hides its head in the sand, the lion will still not disappear. Ignoring is not the best way to solve problems.

2. Blackmail a man

“I will forbid you to see your children if you...” Such statements are like an atomic bomb that will destroy all life, including your relationships.

3. Blame yourself

If you were cheated on, it doesn't mean you're bad. It’s just that the man’s moral compass and self-regulation skills are not good. What he did was his responsibility and choice. Family psychologist Gary Newman cites the following figures: 88% of husbands sleep with women who are no more attractive than their regular partners.

Data from dating site Ashley Madison showed that men aged 39 and 49 are the most likely to cheat. The upcoming anniversary brings sad thoughts, and men want to prove to themselves that they are still oh-so-ho

4. Communicate with your lover

This will not help, but will only irritate the mental wound. You can, of course, show up to a homewrecker with a chainsaw in one hand and a gun in the other, but the criminal code does not approve of such actions.

5. Revenge

The principle of “an eye for an eye” will not add peace of mind (except for five minutes), and it will not cure resentment.

6. Use what happened as an argument in disputes

It happens that ten years have passed, but a woman, at every convenient, and more often inconvenient, occasion, remembers betrayal - they take out a killer trump card to solve any problem. The goal is to make the husband feel guilty and break down resistance. There is zero constructiveness in this. Forgiving forever or leaving - there is no middle ground here.

conclusions

So what should you do if your husband is gay? A couple in such a situation must decide the main question: Should they remain married, given that the husband's homosexual attraction will not go away. If a couple seeks to stay married, the question arises: is the wife ready to accept the fact that her husband has a male lover? If the wife is not ready for such a change in the rules, questions arise as to whether her spouse can truly forgive? And what will be the consequences if this happens again?

We expect our partner to always have our best interests in mind, but the reality is that rules are sometimes broken. Forgiveness cannot come without compassion. Without forgiveness, the couple will become bound only by hatred, even when they decide to separate and divorce.

Polygamy of men - fiction or reality?

You can agree or refute the statement that man descended from a monkey and all his actions are dictated by unconscious and basic natural instincts. However, the statistics of adultery are shocking: every second man who is legally married has cheated on his wife with another woman at least once. Some hide this fact, others get a taste for it, and the secret becomes clear.

Of course, many men are naturally very polygamous and hypersexual. They love to boast about their amorous exploits and conquered fortresses. However, you should not judge all men by their behavior; among them there are those who prefer one and only one to many different women.

“Why do men cheat?” — women ask this question regularly. Sometimes you look: the wife is young, slender, beautiful and well-groomed, but the husband still openly and sometimes right before her eyes flirts with another woman. Why does a man cheat on his beloved wife, ask her for forgiveness for his behavior and not leave her for his mistresses? From an ethological point of view, the reason for this behavior is a natural tendency towards polygamy. As a rule, this trait softens with age. Such marriages, if a woman agrees to put up with her husband’s behavior, can exist for decades. In addition, the legal factor plays an important role: if valuable property was acquired during the marriage, then it is not profitable for a man to get a divorce, and he may even be afraid of an application for divorce from his wife. Such husbands (who do not want and are afraid of the division of property), as a rule, try to hide the fact of their infidelity as much as possible.

What to do when you know your husband is cheating

© Oleh Veres/Getty Images

Tolerate

You can choose the option for yourself - endure. This usually happens if you love your husband very much and are unable to part with him. Or you are completely dependent on him financially and you don’t have your own home. You will have to be patient, at least until you can support yourself.

Forgive

You can forgive infidelity if it happened once, since it is usually attributed to quarrels in the family or the weakness of the man. But if this becomes a pattern, then think, are you ready to live such a life? After all, even the greatest patience comes to an end sooner or later; in the end, you will still break off such a relationship, only by that time you will be completely exhausted and broken.

First, try to separate for a while, live separately and see how your relationship develops. If the spouse does not intend to take any conciliatory steps towards him, then it is better not to stir up the past, gather all his pride into a fist and let him go on all four sides. If he wants, he will return.

Breake down

If there is no strength or sense to endure constant betrayal, then it is better to end such a relationship once and for all, and simply break up. And when starting new ones, you should take into account all the mistakes made and try not to repeat them again.

Selfish motives

The desire to prove to myself and friends “what a cool lover I am”

The reasons for a husband’s infidelity may be the following selfish motives:

1. Stretch your ego, feel superior . Read more about ego and selfishness in detail on the next page at the link.
2. Satisfy your libido.
3. From early childhood there was a lack of female attention. And now, when the man learned that attention could always be had, all he had to do was do something, the man ventures into the unknown.
4. Because of the desire to assert himself in front of his friends , to gain their approval, so that they would tell him: “Wow! Probably fried?! Wow, man!
5. He wants to prove to himself that he is capable of possessing other women. After all, this had never been possible for him before.
6. My husband's friends are bachelors and they always have something to tell about their adventures. The husband also decided that it was time to show off something and went to the left. That is, the reason is to brag to friends.

Why married men cheat on their wives but don't leave

After the fact of betrayal, even if it became known to the wife, many couples do not break up. Moreover, in some cases, the wife understands that she needs to become more attractive and change her behavior - as a result, the marriage is preserved.

Not all men, when they cheat, want to leave the family, as psychology reports. The reasons why men cheat on their wives may be different, but many people like living under the same roof with a familiar and reliable woman. The initiator of divorce after infidelity is usually a woman if her pride is overly hurt. But a man, on the contrary, wants to remain in a familiar and comfortable environment, that is, in marriage. It is very rare that someone is ready to go to permanent residence with a random mistress.

Everything is bad in bed, dissatisfaction

Some women are not yet fully aware of their femininity and attractiveness.

Your marital games in bed may not satisfy your partner.

Not all women are skilled in bed for the following reasons::

• The wife is very young and not so experienced .
• Some girls are very uptight and do not know how to express their passion and love at night.
• Lack of education and limitations in knowledge.
• Not all wives want to accept their men's fantasies . A man by nature loves to make his extreme fantasies come true. Some people completely refuse to experiment.

If a man has tried this and that, but it doesn’t change or add variety in bed, out of desperation he may find himself a mistress.

Or even just find a walking girl for one night.

After all, if a wife is very bad in bed , a man can find a girl who is simply better in many ways.

The husband can find that girl on the side who makes him just blow his mind in bed. He will secretly admire her and not tell you.

About a different smell

Not all men know that the wife always recognizes the smell of another woman . Even if her husband took a shower or put on perfume, she intuitively understands and feels everything. The man suspects nothing, but the woman digs into her head and keeps wondering: “Why do guys cheat on their girls?”

And the husband may still naively believe that everything is under control and he is in control of the situation. He does not even suspect that his wife recognized the smell of another.

Wife's pregnancy and sex life

Another important aspect of “everyday life” is the appearance of children. Alas, a pregnant woman rarely excites anyone. This factor infuriates many wives - they believe that a man must patiently endure all the inconveniences and problems that accompany the birth of a child. At the same time, a woman’s body after childbirth becomes unattractive, even if she monitored her diet and did not gain much weight after pregnancy. In particular, many women have stretch marks (striae) on their bodies, and even if the stomach remains flat, the stripes that appear on it can quickly kill sexual desire. After childbirth, even if there was no feeding, the shape of the breast also changes greatly.

And if a woman did not watch her diet and gained weight, then the answer to the question “Why do men cheat on their wives?” and it becomes completely obvious - because the spouse has become simply unattractive. If she insists on intimacy, despite her unattractiveness to her husband, she may even cause aggression towards her. It is difficult to make an assessment from the point of view of morality in such a situation - is it possible to reproach a man that his wife has become sexually unattractive to him? However, most wives do just that - they begin to nag their husbands, take offense at him and throw hysterics, as a result of which in most cases a break in the social unit occurs.

Why do men cheat on their pregnant wives? The reason is still the same - a woman’s body is changing, and many representatives of the stronger sex cannot adequately perceive this completely normal process from a physiological point of view.

The woman stopped caring and taking care of herself

Because the husband has already conquered his wife and won her heart. Now there is no one to conquer.

The wife relaxes, and this is what happens to her:

1. Years later, the wife stops watching her figure; she is already satisfied with her fat belly.
2. Now she doesn't dress as nicely as before, she wears a kitchen robe and has curlers in her hair.
3. The sparkle in her eyes, zest and femininity disappeared.
4. A woman is no longer attractive.

If all this happens, then it is not surprising that the hot beauty from work replaced the wife in bed.

Of course, a woman does not have to always be beautiful, but she must be conscious and confident, radiate love.

We describe in more detail how a woman can become more confident in herself in the next publication.

The most common reasons for a man to cheat

It is difficult to identify the most precise reasons in each individual family. A lot depends on the character of a man, as psychology says. Reasons why men cheat on their wives (most common):

1. The need for sexual intercourse, if for some reason the wife cannot satisfy her at the moment (a man is on a business trip, in a hospital, etc.).
2. Life that made the relationship with my wife familiar and boring. Living together is a real test for all couples, which rarely anyone manages to pass with dignity.
3. Falling in love, feelings for another woman who seems completely different from the annoying spouse.
4. The desire to assert oneself in the eyes of other men - alas, some of them believe that the more partners, the “cooler”.
5. Being heavily intoxicated is another common factor why a man cheats on his wife. Many of them, after they sober up, don’t even remember their “feat.”

Is every man capable of change?

Theoretically, yes. In practice, not everyone needs dubious adventures; many value the stability and feelings of their spouse.

It is useless to re-educate the so-called “womanizers”. They consider it their duty to mark any territory and are promiscuous in their relationships, since for them the main thing is quantity, not quality. At the same time, they love comfort and return to the familiar atmosphere of the family with enviable consistency.

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The other category includes weak-willed people who are accustomed to being led. They quickly submit to a woman with a strong character, and things can come to the destruction of the official marriage.

By alcoholic accident

There is one expression that sounds like “saw the night, walked all night until the morning.”

And if men walked all night until the morning with alcohol and surrounded by beautiful women , then a drunk husband by the end of the evening may forget about his wife.

After all, there is an appetizing beauty sitting on it and there is plenty of alcohol around. Then the man cheats because the male gaze sees only girls with a good figure next to him, who also don’t breathe very smoothly towards him.

Because of alcohol, he forgets about the one and only.

He no longer has much control over his speech and actions.

Cheating occurs unconsciously.

This happens both in clubs and at noisy parties, holidays and other drunken places.

How to prevent a man from cheating in marriage

Why a man cheats on his wife and what this means, we have already figured out. Is it possible to somehow protect family and relationships from such trauma as betrayal by a spouse? Below are simple tips from psychologists:

• You should never nag your husband for his shortcomings - this is very annoying and contributes to the deterioration of the family climate. The woman saw who she was marrying.
• You need to monitor your diet, the condition of your body and appearance. If a woman is admired by other men, then this will encourage her husband to “take care” of his prey.
• After the birth of a child, do not lose your attractiveness - getting your body in order after pregnancy is quite easy if you set such a goal for yourself.
• Do not hold on too tightly to one man - self-sufficiency and self-respect are a very powerful psychological support for every woman, says psychology.

Why does a man cheat if a woman meets all the criteria listed above? Well, perhaps this relationship was simply not love for him, but a fleeting crush, and a woman should come to terms with this fact. In the end, being free is also good - you can find your advantages and benefits in everything.

Tendency to cheat by zodiac sign

Looking for why guys cheat based only on their date of birth is, at the very least, unreasonable. It happens that two people born on the same day, but with a difference of several hours, will be diametrically opposed in character and habits. But there is a benefit from a personal horoscope; it warns about typical characteristics:

• Aries is harsh in judgment and quick-tempered, but prefers an interesting, strong permanent partner;
• Taurus seeks adventure in his youth, gradually learning the values ​​of a strong family and becoming a faithful husband;
• Geminis are flighty and temperamental, but they will commit infidelity only out of resentment or revenge;
• Leos are regal, courageous and generous, inclined to create a harem, where everyone will feel like a queen, but when they meet the only one, they are ready to be with her all their lives;
• Virgo is restrained and pedantic, which she also demands from her partner; she leaves for another only after systematic disappointment in the object of her adoration;
• Libras are romantics and dreamers, it is important to be on the same wavelength with them and then the storms of life will bypass the family;
• Sagittarius is an extreme person and a connoisseur of freedom, he will be there as long as his wife is able to surprise him, without trying to put him on a short leash;
• Capricorn is practical and unhurried, values ​​material wealth, strives for it and demands the same from his wife; a common goal is necessary;
• Aquarians honestly try to improve their lives and relationships, but if they fail, they abruptly change their partner;
• Pisces are completely given over to love, spiritual unity is more important to them than bodily pleasures, they rarely cheat, being in the grip of their fantasies, they value care.

She gives all her time to the child

If a child appears in your family, then the mother will spend a lot of time only with him at first.

How does a baby affect your sex life?:

• These are constant screams at night that will not allow you to rest together.
• This is caring for the baby, diapering, breastfeeding.
• A woman after childbirth cannot make love.
• Sometimes, when the baby sucks milk from the mother, some women find breastfeeding a lot of pleasure. And the wife no longer wants to spend time in bed with her husband.

Hence, as a rule, life in bed in your family fades into the background.

The husband finds no other way out than to extinguish his passion together with his mistress.

In this case, the psychology is that husbands cheat on their wives and want more at night, but they do not want to leave their family and child.