Many of our fellow citizens are trying to convince others and themselves in particular, of their relaxedness, which corresponds to the modern world. Absolute freedom of thought, jokes on “slippery” topics, free discussion in the company of friends of different sexes of numerous porn films watched.
But most people have such bravado only in words. Therefore, when it comes directly to sexual fun, self-confidence gallops on a dashing horse in a direction unknown to anyone. So are there any effective tips on how to relax during sex?
Source of the problem
In order not to complain that I can’t relax during sex, you need to understand why this happens. The reasons may be as follows.
- Diseases of the reproductive system. In this case, it is worth examining a specialist.
- Incompatibility with partner. During intimacy, he commits the wrong actions.
- Psychological complexes. Many people are simply unhappy with their appearance. They may feel self-conscious about their face or body, even if there is nothing wrong with it, so they cannot relax.
- Extraneous thoughts. After a difficult and hard day at work, intimacy is usually so banal, boring and unpleasant that you don’t want to engage in it. This can be fully explained. Thoughts about business simply prevent you from thinking about your partner and focusing on your feelings.
- It's not the time. If intimacy occurs at the wrong time, then it is very difficult to relax and tune in to pleasure. Because of the lack of timing, thoughts arise: “Why don’t I feel anything during sex?”
- Wrong place. Of course, the reason is quite ambiguous. There is simply no universal and ideal place. However, where exactly partners place love greatly influences the sensations experienced.
You can fix the problem by finding out the real cause. Perhaps in your case there will be several of them. Listen to effective recommendations on how to learn to enjoy sex and relax during it.
Psychotherapist's explanations2
Experienced psychotherapist Olga Miloradova is not only ready to present effective recommendations for getting rid of fears, but also explains their origin quite clearly. Thus, the majority of our compatriots did not have the slightest idea about sex until they themselves “grew to bed age.” Isolated examples of “observation” of parents or older brother (sister) having sex should not be taken into account.
In most cases, we learned everything about sex from movies, which directly influenced the idea of what real sex should actually be like. But, unfortunately, when watching another film (it doesn’t matter whether it’s a romantic melodrama or porn filled with more than intimate scenes), not everyone thinks about the fact that they contain standards that are impossible to implement in real life. By the way, most of them in real life are not only inappropriate, but also dangerous. Despite this, many still, in spite of everything, try to bring all the “cinema” passions to life.
Love yourself
To make love happily and enjoy intimacy, you need to accept yourself as you are. If, after an objective assessment, you realize that you have shortcomings, then immediately begin making efforts to get rid of them. Go for a massage, go to a beauty salon, play sports or undergo useful procedures. If you have an imperfect figure, remember that your partner still paid attention to you. Perhaps, on the contrary, he likes some flaw. You need to understand this and love yourself.
Place and time
You can choose absolutely any place. The main thing is that it is comfortable and enjoyable for both partners. Many people like the classic option - a soft, warm and cozy bed that allows you to completely relax.
Others, on the contrary, need a shake-up, so they prefer the most unexpected places (elevators, fitting rooms, parks, etc.). Why not try it? Just be vigilant and do not go beyond the bounds of decency.
When is the best time to have sex? Experts recommend engaging in intimate intimacy spontaneously, and not according to plan. For example, invite your partner to take a bath together - water procedures will definitely end with sex, which will bring pleasure. Or give your other half a passionate, long kiss before going to bed. It will excite not only your partner, but also you.
Don't think about anything
It's difficult to have sex when different thoughts are running through your head. At least for a while, forget about everyday affairs, worries and problems. Drive away extraneous thoughts, switch to your partner and your feelings. If this is very difficult for you to do, remember some pleasant moments that are associated with sex. For example, it could be an unforgettable night in which you had the most fun.
Also try not to worry about the fact that your partner will soon experience an orgasm during sex, and in the meantime you will be left without him. Understand that the main thing is not this, but the process itself. In addition, intimacy can be repeated after some time. And this is not necessarily sex in the classical sense. Petting and oral sex will also bring a lot of pleasure.
How to relax and enjoy... life
Why the best things in life always come from the opposite - popular American blogger and journalist Mark Manson tells how to stop chasing your own tail.
The US Navy SEALs have a special exercise: they tie a person's hands behind his back, tie his ankles and throw him into a 3-meter deep pool.
His task is to survive for five minutes.
As is often the case in SEAL training, the vast majority of recruits fail. Many immediately panic and start screaming to be pulled out. Some try to swim, but go under water and have to be caught and pumped out. Over the years of training, there have even been deaths several times.
But some people manage to cope with the task, and knowledge of two rather contradictory rules helps them in this.
The first rule is paradoxical: the more you try to keep your head above water, the more likely you are to drown.
It is impossible to hold yourself on the surface of the water for five minutes with your hands and feet tied. Moreover, your erratic twitching will only help you drown even faster. The trick is to allow yourself to sink to the bottom of the pool. Then you should push off with your feet from the bottom and, when you are thrown to the surface, quickly inhale and begin the whole process again.
Oddly enough, this technique does not require either superhuman strength or special endurance. You don't even have to know how to swim; rather, on the contrary, you are required to not even try to do so. You should not resist the laws of physics, you should use them to save your life.
The second lesson is a little more obvious, but also counterintuitive: the more you panic, the more oxygen you need, and the more likely you are to pass out and drown. The exercise turns your survival instinct against yourself: the more intense your desire to breathe, the less ability you will have to do so. And the more intense your will to live, the more likely you are to die.
Thus, this exercise is not about physical strength or willpower. It is aimed at the ability to control oneself in a critical situation. Will a person be able to suppress his instinctive impulses? Will he be able to relax in the face of potential death? Will he be able to risk his life to achieve some higher task?
Self-control is much more important than swimming. It is more important than physical strength, endurance or ambition. It is more important than intelligence, education and how good a person looks in a luxurious Italian suit.
This skill - the ability to not give in to instincts when you want it most - is one of the most important skills that any person can develop in himself. And not only for service in the navy. Just for life.
Most people believe that effort and reward are directly related. We believe that if we work twice as hard, the result will be twice as good. And if we pay twice as much attention to our loved ones, then they will love us twice as much. And if we shout twice as loud, our words will become twice as persuasive.
That is, it is assumed that most of what happens in our lives is described by a linear graph, and that for every “unit” of effort there is a “unit” of reward.
But let me tell you (me, who was hoping that drinking twice as much Red Bull as usual would get this article over with in half the time) - that almost never happens. Most of what happens in the world does not occur according to linear laws. A linear relationship is observed only in the most primitive, monotonous and boring things - when driving a car, when filling out documents, when cleaning the bathroom, etc. In all these cases, if you do something for two hours, you get two times more than if you did it for an hour. But this is due to the fact that there is no need to think or invent.
Most often, the linear relationship is not observed precisely because monotonous mechanical actions make up a smaller part of our life. Most of our activities are complex and require mental and emotional effort.
Thus, most activities follow a diminishing returns curve.
The Law of Diminishing Returns states that, after a certain point, increasing investments do not produce equivalent returns. A classic example is money. The difference between earning 20 thousand and 40 thousand dollars is huge, it completely changes your life. The difference between earning $120,000 and $140,000 only means that your car will have nicer seat heaters. The difference between earnings of $127,020,000 and $127,040,000 is generally within the statistical margin of error.
The concept of diminishing returns applies to most all events that are complex or new. The more often you shower, the more chicken wings you eat at dinner, the longer you maintain the ritual of annual visits to your mother - the less significant each of these events becomes (may my mother forgive me).
Another example: productivity studies show that we are only truly effective in the first four to five hours of our workday. This is followed by a sharp decline in productivity - to the point that the difference between working for 12 hours and working for 16 hours is practically invisible (save for sleep deprivation).
The same rule applies to friendship. A single friend is always vital. Having two friends is always better than having one. But if you add a 10th to 9 friends, this will change little in your life. And 21 friends instead of 20 only brings problems with remembering names.
The concept of diminishing returns works with sex, eating, sleeping, drinking alcohol, working out at the gym, reading books, vacations, hiring employees, consuming caffeine, saving money, scheduling business meetings, studying, playing video games, and masturbating—the examples are endless. The more you do something, the less reward you get for each subsequent action. Almost everything works according to the law of diminishing returns.
Refuse. Give up. Surrender. Not because of weakness, but because of the understanding that the world is wider than our consciousness. Recognize your fragility and limitations. Your finitude in the endless flow of time. This relinquishment of attempts at control speaks not of weakness, but of strength, because you are choosing to give up those things that are beyond your control.
But there is another curve that you have probably never seen or heard of before - this is the inverse (inverted) yield curve.
An inverted yield curve demonstrates those cases where effort and reward are negatively correlated, meaning the more effort you put into something, the less you achieve.
And it is this law that operates in the example with the Navy SEALs. The more effort you put into staying afloat, the more likely you are to fail. Likewise, the stronger your desire to breathe, the more likely you are to choke.
Perhaps now you are thinking - well, why do we need to know all this? We are not going to dive into the pool with our legs and arms tied! Why should we care about reverse curves?
Indeed, there are few things in life that work according to the law of the inverse curve. But the few that exist are extremely important. I will even dare to say that all the most important experiences and events in life work according to the law of an inverse curve.
Effort and reward are directly related when performing primitive tasks. Effort and reward operate under the law of diminishing returns when the action is complex and multidimensional.
But when it comes to our psyche, that is, what happens exclusively in our own consciousness, the relationship between effort and reward is reversed.
Chasing luck takes you even further away from it. The search for emotional peace only makes you more anxious. The desire for greater freedom often makes us feel even more strongly that we are not free. The need to be loved prevents us from loving ourselves.
Aldous Huxley once wrote: “The more often we force ourselves to do something against our will, the less often we succeed. Knowledge and results come only to those who have studied the paradoxical art of doing without doing, of combining relaxation with activity.”
The fundamental components of our psyche are paradoxical. This is due to the fact that when we consciously try to induce a certain mood in ourselves, the brain automatically begins to resist it.
This is the “Reverse Law”: the expectation of a positive result in itself is a negative factor; being prepared for a negative outcome is a positive factor.
This applies to most (if not all) aspects of our mental health and relationships:
Control. The more we strive to control our own feelings and impulses, the more we worry about our incontinence. Our emotions are involuntary and often uncontrollable, and the desire to take control further intensifies them. And vice versa, the calmer we are about our own feelings and impulses, the more opportunities we have to direct them in the right direction.
Freedom. Ironically, the constant desire for greater freedom places more and more barriers in front of us. Willingness to accept freedom within certain boundaries allows us to independently determine these boundaries.
Happiness. Trying to be happy makes us less happy. Reconciliation with failures makes us happy.
Safety. The desire to feel safe creates insecurity in us. Coming to terms with uncertainty makes us feel safe.
Love. The more we try to make others love us, the less inclined they will be to do so. And, more importantly, the less we will love ourselves.
Respect. The more we demand respect for ourselves, the less we will be respected. The more we respect others ourselves, the more respect we will receive.
Confidence. The more we persuade people to trust us, the less often they do so. The more we trust others, the more trust we receive in return.
Confidence. The more we try to feel confident in ourselves, the more worried and worried we become. The willingness to admit our shortcomings allows us to feel more comfortable in our own skin.
Self improvement. The more we strive for perfection, the more acutely we feel that it is not enough. At the same time, the willingness to accept ourselves as we are allows us to grow and develop, because in this case we are too busy to pay attention to secondary things.
Significance. The more significant and deep we consider our own life, the more superficial it is. The more meaning we give to other people's lives, the more important we will become to them.
All these internal, psychological experiences work according to the law of the reverse (inverted) curve, because they are all generated at the same point: in our consciousness. When you desire happiness, your brain is both the source of this desire and the object that should feel it.
When it comes to these lofty, abstract, existential considerations, our brains become like a dog chasing its own tail. To the dog, this chase seems quite logical - after all, if with the help of the chase he gets everything else that is necessary for his dog's life, then why should this time be different?
However, a dog can never catch its own tail. The faster she catches up, the faster her tail runs away. The dog lacks breadth of vision; it does not see that it and the tail are a single whole.
Our task is to wean our brain from chasing its own tail. Give up the pursuit of meaning, freedom and happiness, because they can only be felt when you stop chasing them. Learn to achieve your goal by refusing to pursue this goal. Show yourself that the only way to reach the surface is to allow yourself to sink.
How to do it? Refuse. Give up. Surrender. Not because of weakness, but because of the understanding that the world is wider than our consciousness. Recognize your fragility and limitations. Your finitude in the endless flow of time. This relinquishment of attempts at control speaks not of weakness, but of strength, because you are choosing to give up those things that are beyond your control. Accept that not everyone will always love you, that there are failures in life, and that you won’t always find a clue as to what to do next.
Give up fighting your own fears and insecurities, and when you think that you are about to drown, you will reach the bottom and be able to push off from it, and this will be salvation.
Translation by Dmitry Fomin Original in English - markmanson.net
Get ready for sex
Most often, a woman cannot relax during sex. This is explained by the fact that a woman needs to prepare and tune in to receive pleasure. The sensations you get will largely depend on this. If you get down to business with a clear understanding that heavenly pleasure will soon come, then it will be so.
However, you need to realize that sex is not necessarily an orgasm. Of course, for many it is some kind of end point, pinnacle, peak of the process. But it’s definitely not worth making love just for him. Intimacy may not result in orgasm if the partner is tired or very excited due to everyday activities. Therefore, you need to enjoy the process, concentrate on the sensations and enjoy every moment, and not wait for the orgasm to come.
Where is sperm formed and why does a man need testicles?
The scrotum refers to the external genitalia of a man. It contains a pair of testicles in which sperm are produced. The male internal genital organs also include the epididymis, vas deferens and prostate gland.
Testicles (testes) are paired sex glands, with one testicle (right) usually located higher than the other (left). They are quite sensitive to touch (although some experience discomfort from this, while others experience strong sexual arousal) and produce sperm, which carries sperm in microscopic seminiferous tubules (which are up to 500 cm long in total), as well as hormones (mainly testosterone) .
On the posterior surface of each testicle there is a tubular system called the epididymis (epididymus). Spermatozoa move along it for several weeks, reaching full maturity. They accumulate in the appendages, which resemble caps on the testicles and, having gained strength over the course of two months, rush into the vas deferens, which goes into the abdominal cavity, up behind the bladder.
Once in the seminal glands, they accumulate there and, with the help of the fluid they produce, which allows them to move further, the sperm at a certain point mixes with the secretion of prostate juice, which nourishes them with the necessary substances. And only then they burst into the vas deferens in the form of sperm and leave the man through the hole on the head of the penis.
The process of expelling sperm in quick bursts is called ejaculation, or ejaculation. It only lasts a few seconds. This creates a single mechanism for the production and release of sperm - male reproductive cells carried with sperm.
Sperm is a thick, sticky liquid that varies in color from white to yellowish, or even gray. Its concentration is not constant and depends on the frequency of ejaculation in volume. On average, during one ejaculation, 3-5 ml of sperm are released (one teaspoon), containing from 40 to 120 million sperm per 1 ml. This amount is considered the norm, sufficient for successful fertilization.
Sperm consists of a head, middle part and tail, they differ from each other in appearance and their maturation time is about 11 weeks. Within one reproductive cycle, sperm remains fertile (suitable for fertilization) for approximately 10 days.
Don't rule out foreplay
A very important part of preparing for lovemaking is foreplay. Moreover, women need much more time to “warm up”. When a man experiences an orgasm, his partner is just beginning to approach the peak of pleasure, so do not forget about foreplay. Pay special attention to the erogenous zones, and then you will make sure that girls moan during sex. Why don't you try making foreplay longer? This is a very useful recommendation.
Exercise
Getting pleasure largely depends on the preparation of the vaginal muscles. This is because sensations and orgasm are the result of their contractions. To increase the sensitivity of the pelvic organs, you need to ensure a flow of blood to them. This can be achieved through training. Abdominal exercises will give good results. They will tighten the muscles and ensure proper positioning and support of the uterus. Kegel exercises are very useful, the effectiveness of which has long been proven. Their meaning is that you need to consistently strain and contract the vaginal muscles.
Study the body
If even you are not familiar with your body, then your partner does not know much. He simply has nowhere to get information about which “buttons to press” in order to deliver true pleasure. Only through trial and error can you figure out how to completely relax during sex. Therefore, study your body, look for your erogenous zones. This can be done alone if you are shy, or with a partner. The latter option will be more enjoyable and exciting.
Feel free to ask your other half to look for your erogenous points with you. He will definitely be carried away by the idea and will do it with enthusiasm and selflessness. Just don’t forget to show your partner that he hit the target. This can be done through words or strong expressions of emotion.
You're only worried about how he feels.
Having sex just to make him feel good is not the best solution. Remember, in sex, as in life, you shouldn’t be “comfortable”, you should be comfortable. This doesn't mean you should only take care of yourself, but if your sexual energy is spent solely on not disappointing your partner, you won't give yourself the opportunity to truly enjoy sex.
Solution: the more often you forget about your pleasure, the less often the desire to have sex will arise. If you need more foreplay, lack lubrication, or need additional clitoral stimulation, don't be shy to tell your partner. Get over your shyness and your efforts will be rewarded.
Feel free to make sounds
Loud sighs and moans are a great way to communicate with each other during lovemaking. They help express desire, excitement and pleasure. Experts note that men and women who prefer to have “loud” sex are more sexually satisfied. This can rarely be said about those who indulge in pleasure in silence. Moans help convey information about preferences to your partner, indicating the most pleasant moments.
Have you ever wondered why girls moan during sex? It has long been proven that women use vocalization in bed to achieve orgasm. Loud sounds help saturate with oxygen and automatically increase pleasure, thereby bringing you closer to the peak point faster. Moreover, girls are well aware that men find sighs and moans very exciting. Therefore, they successfully use this to stir up the interest of their chosen one, speed up orgasm and increase his self-esteem. So don't be shy about making sounds during sex.
If you often think: “I can’t relax during sex,” then think about the technique of making love itself. Perhaps you are doing something wrong, although this concept is purely individual and quite flexible.
Erection in a teenager: how to relieve tension
From an unexpected erection, the penis involuntarily rises, spontaneously “stands up” - this is the norm in adolescence. And, of course, sometimes it’s embarrassing and uncomfortable when this happens in public places. There are many measures and ways of detente in this case, and adult men remember them with a smile.
- You need to distract yourself, think about something extraneous that does not cause sexual desire (everyone has their own such objects: look at the ceiling, remember about the morning porridge, losing in hockey, a chemistry test, and so on).
- You may pinch your arm or thigh hard enough to feel pain. Prick yourself with a pin. Pull out a hair on your arm, chest or head.
- Dip your hand or finger into cold water and touch the ice. Douse yourself with cold water.
- Think about it, counting in your mind, for example, the product of 123 and 654. Someone should remember the spelling rules or one of Newton’s laws
- Smell an unpleasant or pungent odor.
- Clench your teeth tightly.
- Sit down several times.
- Relax your buttocks, do not concentrate on the penis.
- Focus on your right earlobe, and then move your attention to your left earlobe. Quickly switch your attention back and forth between them.
- Self-hypnosis (through training) can reduce the level of sexual arousal. For example, the command to yourself “lie down!” will lead to the fact that the frequently repeated attitude penetrates so deeply into the subconscious that at the right moment the man carries out the command automatically.
- Inhale and then exhale everything from your lungs gradually, and then completely empty them, making a final effort to contract the diaphragm. You can repeat this exercise several times.
- Play loud music.
Friends can give many more tips, but they all boil down to one thing - relaxation to reduce the tone of the striated and smooth muscles with the drainage of blood from the penis, which leads to a weakening of the erection and a decrease in the level of sexual tension.
Rhythm and breathing
Rhythm in sex is very individual. Some people like slower, softer, neater and gentle movements. Others prefer sharp and quick thrusts. When you make love, pay attention to which option you like best. This will help you relax and experience pleasure.
Proper breathing is also of great importance for obtaining true pleasure. When enough oxygen reaches the body tissues, they receive everything they need. If you take the deepest possible breaths, blood will flow to the pelvis, and the sensations experienced will become not superficial, but more vivid.
Poses
Choose the best positions during sex that you think are the most enjoyable. For example, for maximum penetration, the man stands behind him, and the woman takes a knee-elbow position. In common parlance this position is known as “doggy style”. To feel your partner with your whole body, to enjoy kisses and tactile contact, it is better to make love missionary style. In order for a woman to control the situation during sex, she needs to sit on top and become a “rider”. These positions are considered the best, but they may not be suitable for you. Make love the way you like best.
Practices for relaxation
Sexologists recommend using special practices to relax and enter a state of peace. They help you get rid of extraneous thoughts and tune in to enjoyment. They can be performed periodically at any time, not just before intimacy. Practitioners will teach you how to properly relax during sex in order to experience pleasure.
Relaxation should not be neglected; it is very important in the crazy modern rhythm of life. If you performed serious tasks during the day, then after a hard day you need to relax. Otherwise, tension will remain in the body, and the state of anxiety will develop into a chronic state. It is recommended to do at least one practice every day for ten to fifteen minutes. Only with regular exercise can you get rid of stress.
Let's look at what practices exist to develop the ability to relax during sex.
Premature ejaculation: should anything be done?
Premature ejaculation (PE) is rapid ejaculation that occurs before the time required for partners to achieve orgasm with psychological satisfaction from sexual intercourse. Since the duration of sexual intercourse varies for everyone, the PE in each couple is different.
Most men ejaculate quickly during their first sexual intercourse in their youth, and almost a third of men experience PE regularly. 75% of male students ejaculate quickly, and this is at least sometimes a problem for them. Every fourth man has, in their opinion, accelerated ejaculation, and this problem accompanies them constantly.
In most cases, PE affects adolescents who are beginning to become sexually active. This is due to overstimulation, high sensitivity of the glans penis, fear of being caught at the wrong moment, fear of not satisfying the partner, lack of trust and understanding, the habit of masturbation, obsessive expectation of sexual failure and a number of other reasons.
As a result, ejaculation often occurs either before the penis is inserted into the vagina, or after several movements inside. This situation goes away as experience of sexual activity develops; with regular sex with a regular partner, the ability to control oneself develops, but sometimes PE persists for a long time.
Shaking
This practice is considered very effective. The point is that you need to stand on your feet and begin to wriggle your whole body. This includes shaking your head, arms, legs and hips. It may look funny, but the result will definitely be there. Definitely give it a try, especially if you find yourself wondering every day: Why can’t I relax during sex?
When performing the exercise, it is important to periodically change the rhythm. Otherwise, some muscles will constantly work, while others will be at rest. Approach the practice in a good mood, with a feeling of enjoyment and pleasure. Turn your focus inside your body, listen to it and trust its impulses.
Tip 5: healthy sex in a healthy body
You can be a “weakling”, but it’s great to be able to use your hands and tongue, and even cooler is to be able to engage in the process with your whole body (and experience an orgasm with your whole body). So if you haven't started training yet, start today.
Pilates is the perfect workout to improve your sex life: a lot of exercises are aimed at the bikini area. Yoga and rock climbing are great options - all about strength, stretching and resilience.
We would vote for Muay Thai and other martial arts where the legs are actively involved: get the perfect abs, stretch and train unprecedented endurance.
Reproduction of CityDog.by materials is possible only with the written permission of the editors. Details here.
Spontaneous dance
This practice is best done barefoot, listening to the desires of the body. The exercise will be more effective if you turn on music that alternates from slow to active and back again. This will allow you to move smoothly and dance actively. Ideally, you need to practice alone, so that no one sees. This way you can close your eyes and learn to listen to your body. Over time, you will understand how to relax during sex. These should not be movements of beauty or seduction, but a dance of one’s natural beginning. You can imagine yourself as some kind of animal. Release excess activity, rage and the adrenaline that has accumulated during the day.
Special breathing
If for some reason you cannot lie down, shake your body or dance, but need to relax, then try this technique. It is very simple and accessible to everyone. Take a deep breath, mentally collect all the accumulated tension in your body, and then exhale sharply. So alternate actions for at least ten minutes. If you breathe in this way, you will experience deep relaxation. This is what you need after a hard day.
Belly breathing
When performing this practice, you need to inflate your stomach like a balloon when you inhale, and when you exhale, deflate it. The easiest way to feel this kind of breathing is in a lying position on your back. In this case, it is better to position your legs so that your feet are on the floor and your legs are bent at the knees. In this position, the stomach and lower back relax as much as possible, which is what many women need during sex. It is also recommended to place one hand on the chest and the other on the stomach. This will allow you to monitor the correctness of the exercise. This way you will understand that you are breathing with your stomach and not with your chest.
How to avoid pain during the first time: choosing a position
It is better to choose a position in such a way that it is the man who controls the process. Otherwise, the girl may constantly “jump off” at the last moment and nothing good will come of it.
After several attempts, despair may set in and everything will end in wasted time. Therefore, after a good foreplay, making sure that the girl is sufficiently aroused, you can begin sexual intercourse.
The missionary position is considered a classic. The girl lies on her back with her legs spread wide apart, the man on top. In this case, the girl is positioned as conveniently as possible for penetration, taking into account the structure and location of the vagina.
You can’t go below the bed, so at the moment of back and forth movements the penetration will be maximum. The main thing is not to tense up and let your partner finish what he started.
Mutual understanding with a partner
To experience true pleasure, you need to choose the right partner. Of course, perfect compatibility is rare, but you should still strive for it. Try to please your loved one, and he will respond in kind. Feel free to talk about sex, express wishes and discuss sensations. These should be gentle requests, not intrusive advice. Over time, if this is your person, you will achieve complete mutual understanding.
Now you know how to relax during sex and enjoy the process. Put these recommendations into practice and make love with pleasure!
Discomfort after defloration
Unpleasant sensations after the first time are possible for a number of reasons. The most banal thing is new sensations that the girl has not experienced before. There is no talk of pain here, but many experience discomfort.
Irritation from lubricant or condoms is also possible, especially if you are not used to it. But this is not a problem the first time, this can happen to anyone, even the most experienced girls.
Otherwise, there are no negative consequences of the first time and there is definitely no need to perceive defloration as a painful, scary process. For many, everything goes away without any unpleasant sensations at all.
If you prepare well for sexual intercourse, don’t rush anywhere, choose the right position and don’t overwhelm yourself with fears, then everything will go smoothly. Physiological characteristics may be favorable to the girl, for example, for some, the hymen breaks without any pain or blood. It is important to know that this is not a blank wall, there are holes in it from birth and sometimes they are quite large. Even a gynecologist cannot say with certainty whether the person in front of him is a girl.
