This article describes the rules for a happy family life. Do you think family is happiness?
Every family wants to live happily. But it doesn't always work out that way. There are various reasons for this, which can be explored endlessly. And it’s better to let the experts do it.
Read another article on our website on the topic: “What is happiness and where to find it?” . You will learn how to become happy, and also find secrets and useful tips.
In this article we will talk about the rules of family life that will help you live well, cheerfully and correctly. It is known that the family is now being popularized. Why and why? What is the importance of family? Find answers to these and other questions below. Read on.
Why are family, marriage and healthy lifestyle being popularized now?
Family and healthy lifestyle
The unshakable rule “live fast, die young” was relevant, most likely in the 90s . Today, a healthy lifestyle and conservative family values are back in fashion. And there is a fairly simple explanation for this. After a long orientation of society towards the West, with its freedom and disorderly connections, that very “peak” has arrived. As a result, people were fed up with permissiveness and again realized how pleasant and beautiful a correct, decent and law-abiding life can be. Why are family, marriage and healthy lifestyle ?
- Although, of course, not all people are suited for family relationships. Some people are better off being single their entire lives. However, more than 90% of people sooner or later realize the value of family and feel the need to get married.
- Moreover, both women and men feel the need to create a social unit.
- But a strong family union is not just 2 people who were attracted to each other, and now decided to live a sexual life “legally.”
It is worth noting that now there is a popularization of not only marriage, but a healthy lifestyle - healthy lifestyle . This is because only healthy people, without addictions, will be able to create happy families and give birth to healthy children for the benefit of the country and society. Nowadays a fairly simple principle applies: “those who don’t have bad habits will live longer . Every person wants to exist in this world for many years. Moreover, if a person lives for the sake of his family, he wants to stay among close people for as long as possible, to be needed by them.
And since the bad habits of a husband or wife can be a source of problems in the family and even separations, when deciding to get married, it is better to minimize your addictions or completely abandon them for the sake of your own health, the health of future children and a long life.
- A family is a kind of state in which special rules and laws live.
- Relatives not only live together and dine at the same table. They fully share all the joys and sorrows and participate in each other’s fate.
This is where the first reason a person starts a family comes from. It is impossible to live alone in this world. We need someone who will listen, give advice, and help. Of course, the well-known saying about the “glass of water in old age” that future children will bring is exaggerated. But the fact remains a fact. Family is close people who will always be there and support you in difficult times.
Qualities
Let's look at what qualities a happy family has.
- Presence of family traditions . When people live together, they have common points of contact and habits. A tradition can be family dinners on weekends, trips to relatives for a holiday, a vacation at the dacha, or something else significant.
- Desire to share life experiences. The older generation passes on their knowledge to the younger ones, and children and grandchildren readily accept it.
- Communication with the older generation , closeness to them. Grandparents in a happy family are respected, accepted, they are part of the family.
- The ability to be grateful . This is not only the ability to say thank you, but also the internal state of the individual.
- Joint activities with children . If parents devote time to their child, this not only has a positive effect on his emotional and intellectual development, but also brings him closer together and develops trust.
- The ability to have fun and enjoy life.
- Self-sufficiency of each family member.
- Maintaining status , family hierarchy, comfortable for each family member.
A happy family will not sort things out in public, criticize the partner, or complain about the children or the older generation.
They act together , together, and this is what unites them even more strongly. There are no strong disagreements in it, because the goals are directed in one direction, and there is such a family as a single organism.
What does family give to a person: why is it above all?
Family above all
Of course, the family, to a greater or lesser extent, influences the self-realization of each person. Parents, brothers and sisters can correct a person’s life and teach him how to structure the world around him. Also, family is an opportunity to fulfill your need for love and care. What else does a family give a person?
This is why she is above all:
- Emotional peace and confidence in the future
A person feels needed by someone. He comes home from work not to an empty apartment, but under the wing of a loving wife. Moreover, he knows for whom he earns this money. Family serves as a kind of motivation for a person to do good deeds and career growth.
- Satisfying the need for love
If in adolescence some people believe that the more adventures and sexual victories there are, then closer to the age of 30 even avid bachelors think that it would be nice to meet a kind, understanding and faithful woman. Subsequently, they want to devote their lives to only one, stable relationship.
- Parental instinct
A person understands that he needs to leave someone behind. It's no secret that children are extensions of their parents. Many people subconsciously hope that their offspring will be able to accomplish in this life everything that their parents were unable to do in their time. Moreover, procreation also gives a person a kind of realization.
- Desire for comfort
Having gotten rid of loneliness, a person feels much better. For men, comfort is also considered in everyday life. He does not need to wash, iron, or cook on his own. In other words, a man takes on the role of breadwinner, and at the same time knows for sure that all household issues will always be resolved.
- Constant sex life
Even today, in the 21st century , not all people are able to have sex with a new partner every evening, or easily decide to be intimate with a person they barely know. As for marriage, it makes it possible to have regular sexual relations - and not with just anyone, but with a loving and understanding person. This is also very important.
- The desire to become an example for society
There is an established stereotype that if a person is married, it means that he is a decent person and a worthy citizen of society. In the case of women, the age of marriage is even more limited. After all, it also affects the ability to give birth to healthy children. People who have children are also in favor with society. They are considered to be more responsible and mature than their childless peers.
- The opportunity to share your own happiness with someone and enjoy someone else’s
All the joys and sorrows in the family are common. In other words, a person is no longer left alone with his problems. There are close people who will help and sympathize, and suggest a way out of the situation. Family ties are much stronger than friendship ties. That is why you can share with your family even what you don’t want to tell your friends or colleagues.
Harmony - concept and manifestations
Harmony is a state of balance, balance.
In a harmonious family there are practically no quarrels, and if controversial situations arise, they are resolved as efficiently and beneficially as possible for all its members.
In a harmonious family, there is a feeling of calm, integrity, positive emotions are present, and if someone is upset or sick, then close people support, help to get out of emotional negativity or a difficult life situation.
In a family where there is balance, the morning begins positively, in the evening people rush home because loved ones are waiting for them there and need attention and care.
The basis of harmony is calmness and confidence that you are needed, that your loved ones will always support you, give you a smile, and help improve your mood.
Quarrels are unacceptable in such families - they upset the created balance and bring negativity into existence. Harmonious families avoid conflicts as a factor that threatens calm and integrity .
Why men and women want to start a family: why is family important?
Many men and women want to start a family.
What are the motives of men and women in starting a family? This is why family is important to many:
- By getting married, a girl realizes her need to be a wife. This is a kind of moral purpose, the awareness of which sooner or later manifests itself in many representatives of the fair sex.
- The desire to take care of a loved one, to raise common children - this goal must be realized, it brings satisfaction.
- In the case of sincere love, there is a need to spend more time with your loved one. In this case, fleeting meetings are no longer suitable. In the case of marriage, a woman has the opportunity to be with her chosen one much more often. Moreover, a family is a separate world ruled by a loving couple.
- Family is a great motivator for a woman. After all, she, with classical values, is capable of doing literally anything for the family and children. She feels elated and confident in her abilities.
- A man also becomes more confident when he takes on the role of husband and father.
- Marriage gives status. If an unmarried man is an eternal young man in a tracksuit, then the father of a family is a sedate man, and it doesn’t even matter how much he earns.
In itself, the popularization of the family in our time is more of a plus than a minus. In the case of representatives of both sexes, the creation of a social unit teaches responsibility and independence, protects against bad habits and promiscuous sexual relations, and motivates them to achieve career fulfillment and moral maturity.
Men's areas of responsibility
So, a man should be responsible for the basis of the family budget. Even if his beloved works, she should know that she has a reliable back in financial matters.
Don't forget to give your wife gifts. Their cost is not so important, the main thing is attention. But you shouldn’t give insincere compliments to your wife. Research shows that women are sensitive to lies.
A man is also a reference point for family vacations. “We’re going to the sea on Saturday!” - says the head of the family. And everyone is happy: both the children and the wife. Men are advised to learn to help their wives maintain order. At least don’t throw things anywhere, if he doesn’t want to wash the dishes instead.
What is a person’s happiness: is family happiness?
It is believed that each person has his own understanding of happiness. Some people experience elation from the fact that they are fulfilled in their creativity and don’t need “baby diapers”; others are happy about moving up the career ladder and, apart from money, love no one and nothing. But, one way or another, the vast majority of people agree that a complete and happy family is also a very important, if not the dominant factor. So, what is human happiness?
- Family is happiness
Surely many have heard the phrase “happiness is when you are understood . Ideally, family members should have mutual understanding and love for each other. Being part of a social unit, a person does not feel lonely or deprived. Moreover, in the person of a wife or husband we get a person of the opposite sex, for whom we always “come first.” And this can also be a source of happiness.
- Happiness is seeing new life
Or rather, to be involved in its origin and development. Despite their radically different characters, a large percentage of people have maternal and paternal instincts, a craving for procreation. Sooner or later it manifests itself. And then a person feels happiness: from the fact that he loves and is loved on a constant basis, from the fact that a person has appeared who sincerely adores him, from the fact that a new member of society has been born.
In other words, the family realizes several aspects of human happiness at once - this is the need:
- To be loved and needed by someone
- In continuation of the family
- In constant body contact
- In understanding and support
- In the division of duties, etc.
That is why in 99% of cases people are firmly convinced that family is happiness.
Examples
Glossy magazines and programs often talk about couples whose love could be used as an example .
We must understand that every family is individual. The methods for creating happiness vary from person to person.
One of the best examples is an elderly couple who lived together for many years and maintained love and fidelity. They have happy children and grandchildren who come to them on holidays, but do not forget on ordinary days. Such a family can say that “we are together no matter what.”
Happy couples can also be found among celebrities. One of them is Monica Bellucci and Vincent Cassel . They have been together for 15 years and are raising two wonderful children.
Another famous couple is Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith - one of the strongest couples in Hollywood, they have two children, have been married for 14 years, Will does everything to make his wife feel loved.
Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have been together for about 30 years. Goldie says the most valuable thing to her is that she feels loved.
Svetlana and Fyodor Bondarchuk have been together for 20 years. After so much time, their feelings have not faded away, and they are not shy about showing them in public.
Angelica Varum and Leonid Agutin. An amazing couple whose love is noticeable from the outside. Despite their bright and temperamental characters, they love and appreciate each other, and preserving the family is important to them.
Rules for a happy family life, well-being in the family
Happy family life, well-being in the family
When getting married, every person sincerely hopes that his family will be understanding, loving - ideal. But in reality this is not always the case: infidelity, quarrels, misunderstandings spoil a person’s impression of family life. Moreover, he often begins to think that happiness and family are incompatible concepts. That is why not every family is happy. A prosperous family is the desire of the vast majority of people. How can you make your family like this?
Here are the rules for a happy family life and family well-being:
- Don’t turn your apartment into a “battlefield”
Let's imagine that you all had a great day. In the evening, you gather for a family dinner, which includes many delicious dishes. Why would you spoil such an idyll and argue with foam at the mouth who is the best musical performer in the world: Sting (as you think), Celine Dion (as your wife thinks) or Eminem (as your daughter thinks)? Does your family happiness depend on this? Moreover, such questions are entirely a matter of taste. Therefore, spoiling relationships with loved ones simply because you have different preferences in something is, to say the least, stupid. In some cases, you have to agree with family members, even if deep down you don't think so.
- Don't bite each other over little things
You must understand why it is worth going into conflict with relatives, and in which cases it is better to remain silent. In other words, disagreement about how to properly allocate the family budget may be appropriate. And it doesn’t matter at all where the wife placed the floor lamp or the fact that she put butter in the dish instead of sunflower oil.
- Try to take care of each other
Creating a happy family is very difficult. But it is extremely easy to destroy an alliance. Be more tolerant. Moreover, the family teaches you to accept your loved ones as they are. You shouldn't throw tantrums about the stubble on your husband's face (if he feels comfortable with it) or your son's stupid teenage hat that annoys you.
- Learn to do things you don't really like in a fun and positive way.
If you scream every time your wife asks you to take out the trash, your marriage won't last long. Don't be selfish. Family is a reason to accept not only your own opinion, but also to listen to the opinions of loved ones. Your ideas about life and family routine will not always coincide. Know how to find compromises and provide assistance without hysterics and grumbling.
- Never shout
We are all ruled by emotions. But in order for understanding to arise in the family, one should not give in to them. Even if you disagree with your spouse or children about something, yelling will achieve nothing. The issue should be discussed reasonedly and calmly. Only then can you come to a reasonable solution that will satisfy both.
- If you want help, help yourself
Do you really dislike the fact that your household doesn’t think anything of you, and when you ask for help with the housework, they immediately want to get into a flying saucer and fly across the sky to a distant galaxy? Most likely, the reason is not in them, but in you. Don't make excessive demands. Become the person you want to help. And then your requests to vacuum, nail a shelf or hang a curtain rod will not be met with an eye roll.
- Learn to thank your loved ones even when there is nothing for it
The basis of a happy family is support. You must inspire your loved ones with confidence in themselves and the future. Don't undermine this faith. Learn to reward, encourage and accept praise and gratitude.
- Be attentive to your loved ones in front of strangers
Some men can carry their wife in their arms at home, but when visiting they behave with her like strangers. This is also wrong. You must always be attentive to family members.
- Do you need something? Speak
Very often women speak in riddles, and men are unable to understand them. That is why in the family you need to openly express your position and talk about your desires.
- Give family members privacy
Sometimes, if a loved one is upset and doesn't want to admit what happened, it's better to give them time. Moreover, the spouse and children can also have a private life. You should not pester a person with an offer to tell and discuss something if he is not in the mood for it.
- Learn to appreciate what you have, but strive for the best
A person who is not grateful for what already exists will never prosper. This is why you should support your spouse, and not constantly “nag” this person. Because of constant nagging and screaming, the husband will not earn more, and the wife will not become a better cook.
- Learn to understand your household
You must know their habits, emotional reactions to various phenomena. For example, if your husband is driven to white heat by conversations about his army past, you should not start them every time you sit down at the holiday table and drink a little alcohol. Otherwise, the righteous anger that may fall on the wife is a consequence of her behavior. In other words, highlight taboo topics and activities. Don't let them in. But at the same time, your household should understand your state of mind and your needs. This is not a one-sided reaction.
- Don't allow illusions
Before getting married, many men and women paint an ideal picture in their minds. In the family, everyone understands each other without words and never quarrels. This doesn't happen. Even in very friendly and strong families there are misunderstandings. It is important how you act afterwards: you try to save your marriage and find compromises, get into people’s shoes or, on the contrary, exaggerate problems, and remain in a state of excessive categoricalness.
- Learn to trust and avoid excessive control
This can destroy even a very strong marriage. Also know the limits of jealousy. Of course, a husband or wife is not just a cohabitant, but a person with whom you are bound by moral obligations. But you should not track down and pursue this person every time he goes to the nearest grocery store to buy a loaf of bread or takes a computer system unit for repair.
Building a happy family is a long and painstaking task with many nuances. That is why the idyll is not born on its own. It directly depends on the efforts of people. If you want a happy family and do everything for it, you get it. If you are waiting for the weather “from the sea”, while not fulfilling your responsibilities as a parent and spouse, then it is not at all surprising if the family differs from the ideal.
Are there ideal unions?
It seems that a happy family is some kind of unattainable ideal .
You and your friends periodically conflict with loved ones, someone has financial difficulties, someone in other families gets sick.
And the question arises - are there really absolutely happy families? Yes, they are. This largely depends on the married people themselves, on their willingness to work on the relationship and maintain it.
There is probably no concept of absolute happiness, and it is not achievable. But everyone is capable of creating a good, friendly family. However, this is a lot of work, and first of all on yourself.
You cannot and do not have the right to force others to change , but you are capable of working on your attitude towards loved ones. And by changing your attitude, methods of influence, communication, you will begin to notice that family members began to behave differently.
Each person has his own concept of happiness, so it is impossible to derive a single formula, a recipe, following which you and your family will certainly be satisfied with your life together.
But if you try to bring harmony and joy to the world, then you can certainly achieve this. There are happy families, and they are made so by the people themselves, who are ready to fight for their happiness and build it.
Intimate life of spouses
How the relationship between partners will develop depends entirely on sex. If their sex life is in crisis, problems in communication and mutual understanding will also begin.
To eliminate negative aspects, it is recommended to familiarize yourself with the problems people face
- Problems in intimate life arise due to disharmony. The desire to have sex in men appears much earlier, however, it begins to fade earlier than in women. As a result, when the spouse has reached the peak of sexual activity and needs to be satisfied more often, the husband is no longer so interested in sex. This is precisely the reason why partners cannot come to a compromise. However, the problem can be solved.
- To achieve harmony in sexual life, it is important for partners to learn to feel, try to please each other and discuss all aspects of sexual intercourse. Spouses should share what they don't like or like about sex. Then all that remains is to take into account all the facts and use them to improve the quality of your sexual life.
- In order for young spouses to avoid problems, they need to learn to talk. Guys don’t know female psychology, so they try to figure out on their own how to properly satisfy their partner. Often all attempts become failures, self-esteem begins to fall and the consequence of this is the appearance of signs of potency. Women try not to take the initiative into their own hands and transfer responsibility to men. As a result, both partners remain dissatisfied both physically and mentally.
It is recommended to immediately express to each other what you did not like, or, conversely, what you like. This will avoid problems and build harmonious relationships.
Cooking with love!
“All happy families are alike...” Lev Nikolaevich asserted.
Not everyone will agree with this, but it is difficult to argue with the fact that there are certain common components of family happiness. These are certain constants - quantities whose values do not change regardless of the mentality of the spouses, their character traits and other characteristics. And if you imagine that family happiness is a delicious dish, then it is these unchangeable “components” that should become its ingredients. I suggest you try to “cook” family happiness using this recipe...
Several aspects of human values
What is the concept of value for people and for each individual?
Family value is what we hold dear. Something without which we cannot imagine our existence or something without which it will be difficult for us or not entirely “comfortable” to live, work, love, etc. When talking about human values, for convenience and better understanding we divide them into several aspects .
For example, moral (spiritual) values are identified with the concepts of friendship, love and goodness.
We include work, labor and the team itself as social values
The law of God, God, rituals, traditions for us take the form of religious values.
We call beauty, style and image aesthetic values.
Political values for us will undoubtedly be our rights and freedoms. Law and state.
It is clear to everyone that material assets have always been money, real estate and various things - from jewelry to cars.
But still, among the huge list of values, we highlight in a special, main, first line the most vital, so-called vital values - this is life itself, health and Family.
That is, we define the most significant value of our life as family. It is family values that dominate the list of human values.
This is also interesting: “Is there a secret to family well-being?”
Definition of “family values”
As we have already understood, we put a spiritual rather than a material meaning into the concept of family values.
If, speaking about human values, we mean everything that is dear to us in life. Then, when speaking about family values, we mean a certain “set” of important traditions , customs and habits that are “rooted” precisely within our house-building.
For example: the simplest family values
For example, our whole family loves waking up to rhythmic music and doing exercises together.
Or we perform a certain “ritual” in the kitchen and have breakfast together, while wishing everyone a good day and positivity.
Or maybe we go on Wednesdays and Fridays to our favorite park, where in the open air everyone talks about their impressions of the past days.
This is interesting: "The happiest people!
Who are they? So many interesting things happen to us, and it is important that the main thing for us always remains our own family.
Wikipedia calls family values nothing more than a set of ideas about family in the mind of a particular person. Depending on what kind of family a person wants to create, certain family values are created that are necessary to achieve specific goals.
There is no doubt that family values are the property and merit of adult family members. This is pride and an expression of devotion to loved ones. This is a memory of the history of the family and its habits.