Communication culture is a complex collective concept that determines the quality and level of perfection of communication. The culture of communication is considered an inseparable component of the culture of the individual. It characterizes value guidelines and normative postulates, moral models of communication, the essence of the moral and psychological qualities of the subjects of communicative interaction, methods, tools, rules, techniques and forms of communication.
The culture of communication contains a set of practical techniques, mechanisms and rules. Cultivated communication allows an individual not to transfer conflict situations in the professional sphere to the emotional and personal area of interpersonal interactions, to understand the meaning and motivation of the opponent’s actions, to reduce or completely eliminate excessive emotional outburst in relationships.
What is cultural communication
The first impression is formed quite quickly, it only takes a couple of minutes.
Many people instantly attract sympathy or antipathy. It doesn’t depend at all on clothes or appearance, but on how a person speaks. A culture of communication, good manners and knowledge of the rules of etiquette come to the fore when assessing a person. Good manners are not given by birth, like many other things, they need to be learned. The foundation is laid by parents, who give the first ideas about correct behavior in society. A person improves this knowledge and skills throughout his life. And by setting such a goal, you can help yourself to facilitate communication with other people, make a good impression and achieve success faster.
Rules of good manners for men
A man’s appearance, clothing and demeanor will tell people a lot about him even before they come into personal contact with him, so you should not neglect the basic rules of etiquette:
- pleasant, fresh aroma. Modern cosmetics companies offer men the use of perfume lines, which include both hygiene and aromatic products that are combined with each other;
- a man’s wardrobe should be just as carefully selected;
- basic rule: shoes should ALWAYS be clean;
- watches: either good or not at all (obvious fakes are unacceptable);
- before shaking hands, a man must take off his glove; hands are not shaken in the toilet;
- headwear is removed indoors;
- It is a sign of good manners for a man to open and hold the door for his companion, help her put on or take off her coat;
- Men do not carry a small handbag, but a real gentleman will not allow a lady to carry a heavy suitcase in his presence;
- do not respond to rudeness and rudeness in the same way, find acceptable ways out of conflict situations.
The importance of etiquette
Speech is not at all a simple formation of thoughts into words and sentences; it is a most complex mechanism in establishing and establishing social connections. The culture of communication affects not only the interlocutor, but also the person himself. The selection of the right expressions and correct manners shape the special mood of your opponents.
The need to master communication etiquette in the business sphere is especially clearly visible. Subject to all the rules of good manners, the employee forms a favorable opinion among others not only about himself, but also about the company he represents. Therefore, if you want to reach certain heights, you need to have good command of your speech.
Basic concepts of linguistic culture
In the life of a modern person, speech activity occupies a particularly important place; without it, neither the acquisition of special knowledge nor general cultural development is unthinkable. The ability to dialogue becomes one of the main characteristics of personality as a social phenomenon.
And also the concept of “speech culture” is interpreted as mastery of the norms of written language in its oral and written form, in which the choice and organization of linguistic means is carried out in such a way that in a specific communication situation and compliance with communication ethics provide the greatest effect in achieving the goals of communication.
“So, speech culture is such a choice and such an organization of linguistic means that in a certain communication situation, while observing modern language norms and communicative ethics, ensure the greatest effect in achieving communicative tasks,” this is how E.N. defines the concept of speech culture. Shiryaev.
To understand the path of independent development of speech culture, it is necessary to clearly understand the content and scope of the concepts of this discipline.
The central concept of this discipline is the concept of language. Language is “a naturally occurring and developing system in human society, clothed in a sound sign, capable of expressing the entire set of human concepts and thoughts, and intended primarily for the purposes of communication.”
The ability to relate sound and meaning is the most important property of language. Language is both a system of signs that replaces objects and speech, and a set of meanings that concentrates the mental experience of human beings.
The concept of speech is closely related to language. Language is “concrete speech occurring over time and expressed in audible (including internal utterance) or written form.” Language is usually understood as both the process of speaking itself and the result of this process, i.e. both speech activity and speech works recorded in memory or in writing” Language is perceptible, concrete and unique, intentional and aimed at achieving a specific goal.
Of course, the science of speech culture takes into account not only examples of a high level of literary norms and rules of communication, but also cases of violation of norms, both in the speech activity of an individual and in the speech practice of society.
The basic concepts of speech culture also include such concepts as written speech, speech norms, style, speech norms, speech individuality, types and forms of speech, speech etiquette.
Rules of etiquette and communication
Communication ethics is not only about the manner of speaking correctly. Intonation, language, distance and behavior of the individual are also important aspects. Studying the generally accepted rules of communication culture can help you present yourself correctly.
What you should pay attention to when communicating:
- Distance between interlocutors
The culture of communication dictates its own norms. For example, for strangers or unfamiliar people, the optimal distance is considered to be a distance of 2 outstretched arms. In addition to considerations of personal space and comfort, this also has practical significance for communication etiquette - any interlocutor can calmly leave, no one is blocking anyone’s passage or holding anyone’s buttons.
- Confusion
If during communication you mix up your name or forget it, it is enough to apologize once. You can also briefly ask for forgiveness if you stumbled or delayed the pause in the conversation.
- Gossip
Gossips at events bring particular discomfort. In order to avoid getting into a bad or sticky situation, you should not discuss anyone present. This is a sign of bad taste and is not approved by social etiquette.
- The topic of conversation
A correctly selected topic of conversation is the key to success. In the culture of communication, it is considered unacceptable for a long conversation to focus on one’s dreams, memories, children or spouse, habits, illnesses, gossip, taste or sexual preferences.
Religion and politics should not be touched upon at all, as aspects of worldview are very confusing to most people.
If the interlocutor expresses clear signs of irritation from the chosen topic, it is worth apologizing and moving the conversation to a more neutral one.
- Tact
The ethics of communication imposes an unequivocal ban on using a language that is unfamiliar to the people around you. Even if you are talking to an old acquaintance in the company of others. This is a blatant faux pas!
Jargon and professional terminology should be avoided. When meeting a representative of any profession (builder, doctor or lawyer), it is not customary to ask them for advice. If such a need arises, you should arrange a personal meeting at another time. Thus, communication etiquette will be observed.
- Patience
The topic of conversation may not always be of interest to you. If the interlocutor considers it necessary to convey some information, he needs to be listened to. If she is unpleasant, you can quietly move the conversation in a different direction. Interrupting your interlocutor mid-sentence is a sign of bad taste. As well as demonstrating obvious irritation, impatience and anger.
Making comments is not considered correct and is allowed only in exceptional cases. These cases, as communication etiquette says, are rudeness towards you or your loved ones, gossip, touching on personal issues without permission, criticism.
- Showing interest
It is impossible to look at a person closely and continuously. Looking at someone else while eating is especially embarrassing.
- Humor
Sometimes there is a desire to defuse the situation or back up your words with something pleasant or a bright joke. Any anecdotes, funny stories, poems are appropriate in small doses and only in accordance with a specific topic.
- Demonstrating your superiority
Nobody likes to feel stupider than their interlocutor. Therefore, overwhelming your interlocutor with erudition is not the best option. Overestimating and praising one’s capabilities is also unlikely to find its fans.
If you don't understand something, don't be shy. According to the ethics of communication, this can be voiced and asked for explanation. People love to show interest in them, as well as the opportunity to discover something new for their interlocutor.
- Sincerity
Ethics of communication presupposes a respectful attitude towards the interlocutor. In the event that trouble or misunderstanding occurs, words of support are very important. But using stereotypical phrases and well-known wise advice is a sign of bad taste. Try to enter the situation and find sincere words of support for the person. This shows your respect for him, interest in his personality and gratitude for his openness.
- Proper handling
Communication ethics implies the correct approach to another person, because communication begins with him. It is very important to take into account age, gender and status characteristics in such a delicate matter. Otherwise, there is a risk of starting communication on an unpleasant note.
- "You" and "you"
Ethical standards of communication suggest addressing “you” only to the closest people and children under 12 years of age, and using the wording “you” with everyone else. Even if the person is the same age as you.
- Demonstration of kinship
Society does not always welcome excessive emphasis on close relationships between two or more people. In order not to attract attention, strangers, close friends or relatives are called by name in society.
- Transition to informal communication
It is necessary to make the transition from “you” to “you” slowly and very tactfully. As speech etiquette and the culture of communication say, it is better if the initiative comes from a woman or a person older in age or social status.
General rules
Etiquette begins with the ability to behave and control your body. Good manners must be observed both while sitting and walking. Movements should be calm and confident, you should walk at a moderate pace with medium steps. Sit upright, with knees closed or legs crossed low (at the ankles), hands should rest freely on your knees. You cannot rock the chair or sit astride it.
In a cultural society, it is customary to begin communication with greetings, introductions, and addresses established by etiquette, with preference given to some individuals over others.
The advantages are:
- elders before younger ones;
- women before men;
- people with disabilities versus healthy people;
- persons superior in position to everyone else, incl. superiors before subordinates.
Difficult situations often arise, for example, in relation to a male boss and a female subordinate. For such cases, exact rules have not been established; the manner of behavior will be dictated by a sense of tact.
The first to enter the room, start a conversation, set the general tone and direction of the conversation are the elderly or those of a higher position. But the performance is done in reverse: the names of younger people are called to the elders. Guests are greeted first by the hosts, then by women according to seniority, and then by men in the same way. Late arrivals are the first to greet those waiting, just as those entering are the first to greet those present.
Seated young people are supposed to stand up when greeting. On the street, people walking greet those standing, men raise their cap or hat in front of a woman (but not other hats).
If at the entrance of somewhere 2 people are trying to let each other go ahead, then the first person to go through should be the one who was asked to do this twice.
When asking a question or request, or after an accidental collision, you should use polite forms of speech, and be sure to thank for any help. According to etiquette, it is customary to congratulate colleagues and acquaintances on various holidays and family dates or express condolences on the occasion of loss. A bad mood is not shown in public; a friendly smile and a friendly look in the eyes contribute to pleasant communication.
How to refuse correctly
Sometimes it happens that an awkward situation arises where you need to refuse a particular offer. This can be done using different tactics. The form of refusal is chosen based on the possibility of providing or not providing assistance, the proximity of communication with the person, the personal attitude towards the interlocutor, and the type of request.
Speech subtleties of refusal:
- A decisive "no"
If the situation requires an immediate response, you should not delay in refusing. A trembling voice and shifting eyes will let your interlocutor know that you are not confident in yourself. As a consequence, this opens the horizon for repeated manipulation.
- Arguments
When justifying your refusal, repeated requests or reproaches are not acceptable according to the ethics of communication. If this occurs, then this is evidence of the level of communication culture of the other person, and you have the right to leave. But refusing without explaining the reason is unacceptable.
- Defensive posture
There is no need to back up your verbal refusal with a psychological block in the form of crossed arms or legs. Such behavior can offend your interlocutor.
- Reproaches towards the petitioner
Under no circumstances should you shame or accuse another person of impudence for trying to ask for something. His right to ask, yours to refuse. Most often, in such a situation, notations are not needed. But you can at least provide moral support.
Kinds
External speech is divided into groups:
- Spoken speech etiquette includes a lot of varieties, starting with conversational speech at the everyday level. This also includes a business style of communication, scientific speech as a way of dialogue between scientists, public figures, and philosophers. Artistic speech is expressed in teaching and in theatrical performances. Publicistic speech is aimed at conveying information and telling stories about events.
- Written - displaying oral speech in writing text. It is important in terms of preserving information and transmitting it through generations.
- Monologue - a monologue by one speaker who is listened to by a large audience. Adhere to the etiquette of verbal communication at conferences, seminars, and in speeches by coaches.
- Dialogical - a dialogue between people on a specific topic that both interlocutors know and understand. Dialogue speech is replete with a set of specific expressions and technical terms related to this topic. People around you who don’t know what you’re talking about may not understand the essence of the conversation. But both interlocutors follow all the rules of speech etiquette during a dialogue that concerns only them.
- Inner speech. Identified based on the level of education and self-education. This is a person’s ability to listen, perceive and pass through the information received. The ability to think, analyze the situation within oneself, without resorting to written and oral speech. Internal speech is a continuation of external speech, only in silent mode. A person thinks before answering a question, expressing his opinion, and compares information within himself in order to teach it correctly. Inner speech depends on the development of the intellect, on the basis of which the development of speech in a person is judged. Any thought is formed with the help of inner speech, despite the fact that a person expresses it or keeps it to himself.
Chatting with strangers
Sometimes difficulties arise when speaking to strangers in transport or on the street. It is common to use the words: woman, man, boy, grandfather. However, such treatment is unacceptable. According to communication ethics, you need to use impersonal phrases: please tell me, excuse me.
According to the ethics of communication, a man should be the first to greet a woman, a junior to a senior (by age or rank), a latecomer who is waiting, or someone already present who has entered.
Depending on the circumstances, the following types of treatment are distinguished:
- Official (madam, citizen, master);
- informal (by name or “you”);
- impersonal.
