What's happening? Is the period of romance over and the harsh reality of life together has begun? Or is love dead? Or maybe you just need to be patient, and this is a period in family relationships?
Your loved one has started to irritate you - we study the irritants
Almost all women experience irritability towards a loved one, towards a spouse. And, of course, the point is not that “irritability is a stage in a relationship,” or that “after a year of family life, new trials begin.”
The most common cause of irritability is taking off your rose-colored glasses. Unlike men, who initially perceive reality more skeptically, women, at the stage of the candy-bouquet period, tend to add missing advantages to their novel heroes and paint over the disadvantages.
And a woman’s surprise is quite understandable when one day the trail of romance dissipates, and underneath it is her own man, but in his natural appearance - with all the shortcomings.
Psychologist's advice
In relationships, it often happens that a guy pisses off a girl and likes her at the same time. In this case, psychology will explain that aggression towards men and rejection of their behavior are caused by ambivalent feelings. Women consider love and anger to be incompatible qualities. In fact, the reason for the destruction of relationships is the failure to express anger. And the simultaneous manifestation of love and evil is correct. Irritation and anger indicate a violation of personal boundaries, while love feelings, on the contrary, are long-lasting.
Psychologist S. Freud, describing how psychological defense works, explained this by attributing to another person what is not perceived in oneself. The case of Polina is given as an example.
Since childhood, her mother punished the girl for being sloppy. As an adult, Polina was wildly angry at her husband’s display of sloppiness, thereby hiding the internal pain left after her mother’s remarks in childhood.
In another situation, a couple, having lived together for 19 years, felt bored and depressed from living together. It turned out that in childhood their mothers forbade both of them to show anger and aggression, which they learned to suppress in themselves, accumulating negativity.
To eliminate concerns about irritability and establish a calmer life, it is recommended to learn mindfulness. At the same time, it is worth knowing that anger at a man is a copy of the relationship between a mother and her child from birth to 3 years. The manifestation of anger, powerlessness, despair or irritability in response to certain habits sometimes indicates the result of mental trauma received at this age. Thus, from the point of view of psychology, irritation is understood as a person’s psychological distress.
What to do if irritation occurs:
- calm down and breathe evenly;
- Inhale and exhale deeply 2-3 times;
- remember about psychological trauma that requires a break - there is no need to argue and prove when emotions are at their limit;
- Hugs from your husband, warmth and soothing tea will help you calm down.
The next day, a realization will come, perhaps related to a situation from childhood life that is told to the partner.
For a man to change for the better, a girl should learn feminine behavior. The result is a happy relationship with long-lasting strong feelings.
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Tags: annoying husband, relationships
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There can be only two exceptions:
- When a woman is constantly in a state of romantic love that obscures her eyes. As a rule, this is the merit of a wise man, or their love really turned out to be the same one sung in books, films, and poems.
- When a woman initially soberly assesses reality - and has come to terms with the shortcomings of her loved one in advance. That is, she accepted him as he is.
In all other cases, reality comes to a woman like an insult to a child who, instead of candy, is quietly slipped into his mouth with a piece of “healthy kohlrabi.”
Whose fault is it that my husband started to piss me off?
