Why are you unlucky and can it be fixed?

Fortune is a capricious young lady. She smiles at some quite often, while she ignores others with her attention. But can all the bad things in life be attributed to failures, and the good things to the fact that a person is lucky?

It is quite understandable for a person to want to understand what to do if he is unlucky, if the bad streak really drags on, and most troubles happen due to circumstances beyond your control.

At the same time, you need to learn to take more responsibility, because you can’t wait forever for fate to smile.

Unlucky people avoid responsibility

When we say that someone just had bad luck, but we are stubbornly unlucky, we often simply do not want to take responsibility for certain decisions and actions.
It is much easier to convince yourself that your neighbor has whiter snow, more obedient children and a higher salary than to admit that he made a little more effort to achieve success. But you lacked something: perseverance, willpower, or just time.

Behind this position lies the habit of devaluing the process, of fixating on the final result, and not on the efforts expended, thanks to which this result was achieved. What many call chance and luck is actually a colossal work that requires patience, perseverance and strength.

Keep a diary

A diary is needed to record successes.
Every time you succeed or are lucky, write a line in your diary. In just a month you will have collected a whole evidence base that you are not a loser. As soon as doubts begin to overcome, it will be enough to flip through the diary for them to evaporate. You can only record victories, you can count defeats too, it doesn’t really matter. In the worst case, the score will be equal, and with due diligence it will inevitably change in your favor. Sign up for a trial lesson

Life is an adventure, not a test

Another difference between a lucky person and a loser is that the first one finds a reason for joy in everything, while the second one is set up for a tedious struggle.

A successful person views life as an adventure. Everything good that happens to him is an incentive and encouragement for further action. And difficulties are a challenge to his abilities.

An unlucky person lives with the mindset: life is hard, and even if you work hard, your efforts will not be appreciated. In order not to be disappointed again, he immediately prepares himself for the worst. At the same time, he convinces himself that he still believes in the best. This is self-deception, which takes away strength and desire to do anything.

It is important not to miss the opportunities that come in life. Svetlana Strazhina from the Arkhangelsk region does not often participate in sweepstakes, but when she was offered to purchase a Russian Lotto ticket at the checkout counter in a store, the woman did not refuse. And this decision brought good luck - Svetlana won a million rubles. She used the money to buy a new apartment.

What to do if you are unlucky or why is fortune so unfavorable?

Usually what we are used to writing off as failures has very specific reasons for its occurrence.

Knowing about these reasons, as well as understanding what mistakes you shouldn’t make, you can significantly improve your life and stop repeating like a parrot: “I’m unlucky. I'm having no luck. Oh, how unlucky am I, poor thing.”

Reasons why you are unlucky and what to do about them?

It is not so easy to talk about the general causes of bad luck, since in this matter everything is individual, and each person is unique.

If you really want to get to the bottom of it and understand what to do, then it’s better to work with a psychologist one-on-one.

I’ll tell you about the most common reasons why a person thinks he’s unlucky:

Inability to think logically, so you don’t see the connection between your actions and the problems that happen in life.
Lack of experience.
It comes only with age, when you learn to distinguish minor troubles that are not worth attention from truly global failures.
The "excellent student" complex.
A girl who sheds tears over a B, when she was hoping for the highest score, carries this behavior into adulthood. That is why a good, but not the best result is perceived as “I’m unlucky.”
Inability to lose.
You can't win all the time, otherwise you lose the taste for it. It is situational defeats that make the taste of victory sweeter. And you don’t need to take every loss as confirmation that you are unlucky.
“I’ll still have time” attitude.
Many people live into adulthood with this attitude, never having time to accomplish anything they set out to do. Stop treating your life like a draft and thinking that you still have plenty of time to rewrite everything completely.
There isn't as much of it as you might think. Time should be spent not on thinking “What to do if you’re unlucky?”, but on life itself.
Read also: Primary human needs and ways to satisfy them
Reluctance to overcome difficulties.
Without labor, not only will you not be able to pull the fish out of the pond, but you will not be able to achieve anything. Remember the fairy tale about the turnip. If the grandfather had given up, the family would never have been able to pull out the root crop.
And so people tried, looked for a solution.
Health problems.
If you feel unwell, then it seems that the world is painted in dark colors, that you are unlucky precisely because of endless illnesses. As soon as you improve your health, you will immediately decide what to do with your failures.

What to do if you're unlucky: 5 mistakes that need to be corrected...

Many of our failures are the result of our own mistakes.
It was you yourself, and not someone else, some otherworldly forces that created this or that problem and did not even bother to solve it, stopping at lamenting: “I’m unlucky! What should we do about it? The most common mistakes made by people who are unlucky are:

№	Error	How does it manifest itself?	How to fix the error
1.	Fear	At one time you were afraid to take a risk and change your job, and now you are complaining that you were unable to build a career? It was you who, out of fear of being left alone, continued to live with an unloved man, depriving yourself of the chance for happiness in your personal life. Being afraid of everything and always is the most common human mistake.	Remember that you can turn your life around and stop being afraid not only at a young age. Better late than never. If you don’t stop trembling with fear when making important decisions, you will die as a failure.
2.	Laziness	She, darling. Too lazy to go to school, too lazy to work on self-development, too lazy to accept a promotion because you have to work hard, etc. Just admit that you are unlucky because you are lazy.	Work, work and work again. Not only with your hands, but also with your head. You can’t expect to be lucky if you don’t want to do anything, if you think you can get a lot of money for sitting idle in your chair for many years. This is not how a career is built! Yes, you also need to work on relationships!
3.	Self-hypnosis	Whether you yourself have branded yourself a loser or whether your parents instilled in you as a child: “Eh, our family is never lucky,” it doesn’t matter now. Stop repeating phrases about how unlucky you are and setting yourself up for failure.	The Universe reacts very sensitively to the signals that we send to it. If you believe in the best, that's what you will get. If you tune in in advance to the fact that: “Do it or don’t do it, but I still won’t be lucky,” so it will be. More faith in your strength and the favor of fate.
4.	Pessimism	You stubbornly notice only the bad in your life, while refusing to see the good. That is why it seems to you that fate is unfair to you, and the black streak never gives way to white.	Stop focusing on small failures - even in the lives of the lucky ones there are plenty of them. Learn to forget about them. Instead, enjoy the little pleasures: good weather, new clothes, an empty minibus, a promotion you were lucky enough to attend, etc. More optimism!
5.	The aimlessness of life	What goal (namely a goal, not a dream) did you set for yourself and failed to achieve it? What did you do to get what you wanted? Have you fantasized about how good it would be if such and such happened? Did you make a timid attempt and retreat after the first failure? But there are people who never set goals for themselves, but simply float through life. They are the ones who most often whine about being unlucky.	Live by the principle: “I see the goal, I see no obstacles.” Yes, you won’t be able to get everything you want, but by setting goals and achieving their implementation, you can achieve a lot.

Luck is helped by character

Richard Wiseman, professor of psychology at the University of Hertfordshire and author of The Luck Factor, conducted an interesting study. He invited people who consider themselves very lucky or, conversely, complete losers, to take part in the experiment.

When the focus groups were formed, the scientist gave each subject a thick newspaper and asked them to count the number of photographs in it. The catch was that on one of the pages, among the advertisements, the psychologist placed his own: “Tell the experimenter that you have read this advertisement and receive a reward of $250.”

The text was typed in large font and the ad took up a lot of space on the page. But only those people noticed it who, before the experiment began, said that they were always lucky. And those who considered themselves failures did not pay attention to the announcement - they scrupulously and purposefully counted the photographs.

Wiseman's experience proved that unlucky people are too anxious and preoccupied. They miss their chance because they waste their energy, attention and nerves on solving one specific problem. Lucky people, on the contrary, are open to everything new: ideas, people or experiences. This gives them more opportunities to succeed.

Attitude to the present moment

One of the authors, Eckhart Tolle, in his book “The Power of Now” interprets the obstacles received in life this way: life treats you the way you treat it at the present time. If you see obstacles everywhere, it will become one continuous barrier. If you are looking for an answer to the question of how to get your luck back, try taking care of your world. Clean your apartment with love, get a pet, help a friend with her children, find ways to express gratitude to life. Then she will turn to you with her best side.

Happiness is normal

Some people cannot say goodbye to bad luck simply because they are sure that being happy is unusual, restless and even somehow naive.

These people are dominated by the conviction that adult life is necessarily full of problems and disappointments, and those who for some reason look at it with optimism are superficial and immature people. But if a person realizes his luck and feels gratitude for it, then by this he already significantly increases his chances of luck.

Sociologists from the University of California studied the phenomenon of gratitude and found that because of this feeling, various physiological, psychological and social changes occur in people's lives.

The scientists divided the subjects into three focus groups. Members of the first group kept diaries in which they recorded events and moments in their lives that made them feel grateful. Members of the second group noted what irritated them. And the participants in the third simply kept a diary of events, without judgment and impartiality.

Ten weeks later, the researchers reported dramatic changes in the well-being and mood of the participants in the first group. Subjects reported improved sleep, decreased pain and nervousness, increased levels of sociability and compassion, and decreased feelings of loneliness and aggression. What’s most interesting is that nothing similar was observed in the remaining two groups.

Where to start improving your life? Methods that work!

So, how will we fix everything:

We get rid of what is not beautiful or necessary. Garbage, unloved things and unnecessary trash. You need to clear your space, it helps to restore order in your head as well.
After spring cleaning, we surround ourselves with beauty. We make a list, everyone will have their own. Clothes that make you feel your best. And at home too! Decorative elements, even the smallest ones, that make your heart feel warm and good. Photos of loved ones. Delicious and desirable food on chic tableware. At home, at work, on the street. Every day!
Create your own colorful world full of pleasures!
Visualize your desires. Imagine what you want in the smallest detail, and everything will definitely come true.

Don’t put it in reserve, don’t put it on the mezzanine. Use everything that can bring smiles and pleasure TODAY. After all, today is no less unique than a birthday or December 31st.

How to become more successful

To be successful, you must recognize opportunity when it comes and grab it. To do this, you need to learn to see connections that others do not notice, train logical thinking, attentiveness and insight, broaden your horizons, develop self-confidence and courage. We tell you how to do this.

Argue

The ability to prove your position develops logic. When selecting arguments, we analyze causes and consequences, and notice non-obvious connections between people, events and objects. But there is no need to constantly run into arguments: you can ruin relationships with family, friends or colleagues. It is better to train in discussion clubs or debates, where your desire to express your point of view will be supported by everyone present.

Ask

Choose any random object and ask yourself three questions about it: “What is it?”, “How does it work?” and “Why is this happening?” Answer them clearly and logically. If you can't, Google it. You will be surprised how many interesting things around you you haven’t noticed before.

Play

To develop logic, you can do it the old fashioned way: solve puzzles, play chess, or play solitaire. Or you can boost your brain with a high-quality computer game. The main thing is not to get too carried away: 30 minutes a day is enough for training.

Richard Wiseman proposed another exercise that develops luck. You need to do something at least once a week that you haven’t gotten around to doing before, or something that for some reason you didn’t want to try. The daily routine can be tiring, and stepping out of your comfort zone will increase your chances of getting lucky in life.

Luck smiles only on those who do not sit still and are not afraid to try new things. A good way to practice your luck is to take part in the New Year's Russian Lotto draw, where a billion rubles are guaranteed to be won. It only takes a couple of clicks to buy a ticket. Who knows, maybe you will become the first lottery billionaire in Russia?

I'll be lucky!

Aromatherapy for well-being

What to do if you have no luck in life? Burn incense, of course! By choosing the right aroma, you can adjust your energy space to abundance. Several scents to bring good luck and fortune to your home:

Nutmeg - This aroma brings prosperity.
The orchid brings financial stability.
Ginger incense will bring wealth.
Verbena is burned for good luck in business.
Cloves also bring prosperity.
Patchouli attracts customers and brings prosperity. These sticks can be burned in the office.
Cedar will also help to attract money.

Changes

If you are unlucky and want to be happier than you are today, then now is the time. Don't wait for anyone or anything. Start playing sports, learning languages, going dancing and swimming. How would you behave if the perfect person came into your life? Maybe some of the above would become a pleasant habit. So, this person is you. Become interesting to yourself, more beautiful and attractive in your eyes, and people around you will notice it. Throw out the old trash from your house, do some general cleaning, get to know your neighbors - and changes will not take long to arrive. In order for something new to come in, you first need to make room for the old.

Bad luck in your personal life

Emotional burnout - how to deal with the problem, is it possible to overcome it
? It very rarely happens that the same individual is chronically unlucky in all areas of life. It happens much more often that failures haunt a person either in business or in his personal life. Moreover, bad luck in your personal life can negatively affect other areas of a person’s life. A lack of positive emotions, primarily love, leads to a decrease in labor productivity, the appearance of health problems, a violation of goal setting and incorrectly setting life priorities.

Why you have no luck in your personal life, reasons:

infantilism (the result of unsuccessful parenting);
underestimation of oneself;
fear of new relationships;
self-hypnosis.

Bad luck in men's personal lives

The reasons for male loneliness are varied, the most common are:

Unsuccessful previous experience. Disappointment in a relationship greatly reduces a man’s self-esteem and awakens numerous complexes: isolation, misogyny, misogyny and others.
The statement that girls are only interested in material values. Such a conclusion, as a rule, comes from unsuccessful previous relationships, in which the man suffered significant material losses, and the woman did not appreciate his efforts. At the same time, it is not always the lady who demands expensive gifts; sometimes the guy tries to buy love in this way, and in case of failure, accuses the woman of commercialism.
Uncertainty in the intimate sphere. Lack of experience, certain physical characteristics, previous failure or a negative reaction from a partner make a man doubt his abilities.
Reluctance to adapt to life with another person. Such reluctance is found in older men who have left positive experiences of living together in the past (widowers) or so-called old bachelors.

A sea of bad luck

Bad luck in women's personal lives

Some girls have too high self-esteem and set high demands on men. Each woman has her own ideas about male ideality, and inconsistency with these ideals gives rise to disappointment in the stronger half of humanity and classifying oneself as a loser.

Why girls are haunted by failures in their personal lives, reasons:

They are expecting to meet a rich groom. As a rule, young people have not yet accumulated their capital, and wealthy men of advanced age usually have a family that they will provide for in the event of a divorce. Therefore, girls should not expect an instant solution to material problems at the expense of a rich husband, but choose a promising, ambitious young man and create family capital with him.
Failed relationships in the past. Women's emotionality and sensitivity do not allow them to quickly overcome disappointment and believe in themselves, and realize their right to a happy personal life. Before entering into a new relationship, a woman analyzes her mistakes and builds her life according to her own rules.
Fear of intimate relationships. Some girls are embarrassed by their imperfect appearance, consider themselves not very beautiful and are afraid of male ridicule. Some women who have experienced sexual violence develop a psychological barrier that only a psychologist or a very loving and patient man can cope with.
Some divorced women (and not only) do not consider a new relationship with a man vital. They enjoy solitude, independence and self-reliance.

Total bad luck

To get rid of bad luck in your personal life, psychologists recommend:

analyze parental attitudes and reconsider some life positions;
accept yourself as an adult responsible for your life;
do not ignore dating sites and social networks;
gain confidence in your abilities and your attractiveness;
constantly monitor your appearance and health;
do not be afraid of dating and conversations with representatives of the opposite sex;
communicate naturally, do not show off your inexperience or, conversely, your experience;
expand your horizons, show interest in art;
travel and learn foreign languages;
devote more time to your hobby;
don't be afraid to experiment.

Getting rid of bad luck

Thus, a person is to blame for constant bad luck. Until he realizes that no one will bring him all the blessings of life on a platter, and success and luck do not fall from heaven, the streak of bad luck will not end. It’s not for nothing that a quote from folk wisdom says: “Whoever fights for happiness, that’s where it tends.”