Self-development and coaching - necessity, luxury or absurdity


Self-development is an independent process of self-improvement, conditioned by a set goal, which is realized mainly by acquiring new and developing existing skills, as well as by overcoming bad habits.

Thus, self-development (self-improvement) is the path that leads you to a happy and healthy life.

Self-improvement helps you develop your personality in such a way that even the people around you become happier.

If you do decide to change your Self for the better, you should be prepared for various grueling physical and emotional stress.

Where to start self-development

In order to walk your path and begin to live the life of your dreams, the life that you are proud of and enjoy, you need to become the best version of yourself, the person you are meant to be.

The starting point of self-development is the decision made and the choice made.

Then you need to perform the steps discussed below that will contribute to self-improvement.

As you move forward, your priorities and ways of personal development may change.

For example, at first you decide to train in one type of activity, but as you deepen and gain professionalism, it is quite possible that you will realize that in fact you have a passion for something else.

When you embark on the path of self-development, you will notice that people who are dissatisfied with themselves will confront you, dissuade you from your plans, or try to confuse you. Don't let them do this.

Decide what you want to achieve in life

What do you want from life? Perhaps this is one of the most important questions that every person should ask themselves.

All people want something, but only a few have conscious goals and make meaningful plans.

However, the reality is that if you don't decide for yourself what you want to achieve in life, someone else will do it for you.

There are always people next to you who will try to impose their own vision on this issue.

But only you can decide which direction to move in and whether to implement the advice of others.

These people will include everyone around you, but the greatest influence on you will be, firstly, your parents, whose advice is most often based on their own experience.

Secondly, your friends, many of whom do not even know what they want, and very often can only lead you astray from your intended path.

In general, of course you need to listen to the words of your surroundings. But do not forget that only you are the person who has the right to lead your life, and therefore no one should be allowed to reshape your destiny according to someone else’s scenario. It's your choice and your life.

If you really do not want to go to university for the specialty proposed by your parents, having well-founded reasons and a sincere reluctance to engage in this type of activity, then you should not do this.

If you know what your inclinations are, and you can imagine at least in general terms how you will be able to realize them, then be sure to move in a direction close to your heart.

If you can imagine it, you can do it. Walt Disney

It is very important to understand that “We become what we think about,” and this expression is so true that it is even difficult to imagine.

This is the fundamental secret of the universe, which can be described in other words: “To receive something, you must first give.”

The basis in this case is the focus of your attention. If you focus on negative thoughts, you will get negative results. By focusing on positive thinking, you will achieve positive results, at least sooner or later.

So be very responsible and find out for yourself what you want to achieve in life, what do you want to do, what do you want to become?

Identify your problems and shortcomings that can be eliminated

Identify those negative or missing points in your life that you would like to improve.

For example, you can conclude that you go to bed late every day, smoke, drink alcohol, earn little money, are overweight, dress poorly, etc.

Face the truth, make a list of your problems and shortcomings. This list can include anything you like, but try to only consider issues that are truly relevant, not just those that other people have mentioned.

To begin self-development, you should understand what, in fact, you should develop in yourself.

For each item on your list, jot down a short plan and a reason for fixing it.

For example, if you want to lose weight, the reason will be the desire to improve your appearance, general well-being, relationships with members of the opposite sex, as well as the desire to increase self-esteem.

As a way, you can mark the need to sign up for a gym or swimming pool, doing physical activity at home or street jogging.

Your mind can rationalize anything. Having explained to him the true state of affairs and the validity of the tasks that have arisen, he will become your faithful servant on the path of personal development.

Ask yourself the following questions:
  1. Is there anything I would like to change? I don't have my own apartment, I don't like my job, my relationship with my girlfriend is on the verge of breaking up, I'm stressed or anxious, etc.
  2. Is there anything I would like to have? I don’t have a girlfriend or close friends, I haven’t traveled for a long time, there is no advancement in my career, I don’t earn enough, I feel unhappy, etc.
  3. Is there anything that I should give up? I drink too much alcohol, I eat unhealthy food, I treat my parents poorly, I spend too much time on social media, I am too short-tempered, etc.
  4. Am I doing what I like? Start planning your life, learn to prioritize, play sports, create a hobby, read books, find a better job, etc.
  5. Do I want to change? Change your bad mood, low self-esteem, dependence on others, your own laziness, anxiety, existing negativity, your fears, etc.
  6. Am I not fulfilled? I'm not successful enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm overweight, I'm a loser, etc.

The answers to these questions will allow you to formulate your goals that need to be realized.

Make a self-development plan

At this stage, you begin to detail ways to move towards your goal.

Creating a self-development plan may seem like a daunting task, but there is nothing overly complicated about it.

The most important thing is behind you, because you have already realized your life guidelines. Once you know what you want, allow your mind to identify ways in which you can achieve your goals.

If you clearly imagine a ship of self-development leaving the harbor with a crew on board and choosing the course of its voyage, 99 percent of the time out of 100 it will be able to reach its destination.

Along the way, your conqueror of the ocean of life's problems may encounter unforeseen obstacles, such as depletion of fuel reserves and the need to replenish them.

He may have to anchor for a while and provide the crew members with proper rest.

Despite all this, the ship's captain will not forget about the laid route and eventually the destination will be reached.

To create an action plan, research information about possible ways to achieve your goal. And the first thing you can do is find the necessary information using search engines on the Internet.

Whether you want to start a business in your niche, create an at-home exercise plan, or develop a sense of style, do some research in your area of ​​interest.

Include in your plan the actions that you must take every day, every week or every month to achieve your goal.

Start moving towards your goal

You have already defined your goal, and now you know how to realize it, so start taking actions every day that will bring you closer to it.

Along your journey of self-development, you will find that you want to change other qualities in yourself, and this is wonderful.

For example, as you improve your ability to dress stylishly, you may notice that your hairstyle also requires changes.

The process of self-development will most likely be a difficult undertaking, but almost any innovation in your life initially leads to some confusion and confrontation with the usual foundations of your life.

Still, remember that as long as you are focused on your dream, nothing else matters.

Stay moving

Motivation is like taking a shower: you can't get endless energy for the rest of your life in one session.

A clean body loses this quality if water procedures are not systematically repeated. The same can be said about motivation, which needs to be replenished periodically.

If at some point you decide to press pause on your self-development due to your own laziness, it will be quite difficult for you to return to the previously trodden track, which will be swept away by the snowstorm of your indifference.

Benefits of Self Development

Developing your strengths

Self-development not only helps you gain new skills, but also helps you develop the qualities you already have.

By focusing on improving your strengths, you will not only be able to do things well, but will take your abilities to the level of Excellent.

Increased self-confidence

Making a decision to develop yourself in a particular area will have an immediate positive impact on your self-confidence.

As soon as you achieve another goal, acquire another skill, or improve the quality of your life, you will feel a surge of strength and energy.

The more you continue to improve, the more confident you will become.

Raising awareness

Self-development is closely related to the level of awareness, which allows you to objectively look at the areas of your life that need improvement.

Through mindfulness, you can understand who you really are, what your true values ​​are, and what kind of life you would like to live.

Leaving your comfort zone

Self-development, to one degree or another, forces you to leave your usual comfort zone, pushing you out of your usual way of life, where everything is familiar, calm and boring.

Typically, development is associated with a certain level of pain. But this is the only way you can feel your progress and improve your own skills.

Lifelong improvement

Having chosen the path of self-development, you will no longer be the same and will not be able to stop improving yourself.

For you, this means your ability to change for the better so much that at the very beginning you will not even imagine that this is possible, because the result you receive will become the starting point for the implementation of new plans.

New opportunities

Self-development will open up new opportunities for you. All you have to do is be willing to recognize and implement them.

Improving quality of life

Self-development in general contributes to the growth of your standard of living.

You don't just become a better person by acquiring new skills. As a result of your internal changes, everything around you begins to change.

You gain better health and well-being, start doing what you love, your relationships with others improve, and life itself ceases to seem like alternating scenes of work and boring life, but takes on the image of a game.

Having gone through a series of obstacles and trials, you become happier, and problems that once seemed to you at a new level of thinking can only bring a smile to your face.

Components of success in personal development

Developmental psychology includes several aspects. Here are the main components of personal growth:

1) Personal growth goals:

  • developing awareness and giving up mechanical habits,
  • compliance with modern times and rhythm of life,
  • development of intelligence and acquisition of comprehensive knowledge.

2) Personal growth plan:

  • determining the starting point,
  • visualization of the desired result,
  • development of a strategic plan for solving assigned tasks.

3) Motivation – determining the driving force for self-development:

  • “movement from” - dissatisfaction with current life,
  • “striving for” - action to improve the state of things.

4) Trainings on personal growth. The topics of personal development trainings are very diverse and only experienced coaches can tell you exactly where to start with personal growth. Physical exercise is also indispensable in the process of human development as an aid in strengthening self-control, willpower and self-confidence.

5) Creativity is the engine of progress, developing:

  • creative attitude to life,
  • the ability to be yourself
  • spontaneity and freedom of expression.

6) Improvement – ​​the formation of three interconnected aspects of human life:

  • body development,
  • development of the mind,
  • spiritual development.

7) Foresight, or wisdom – the ability to objectively assess the present and plan the future based on possibilities.

8) Acquiring knowledge is the path to self-realization.

Self-development plan

Have you ever taken a trip on your vacation without planning ahead? Probably not likely.

It's very difficult to enjoy a trip if you constantly have to think about where to stay, what to eat, and where to go next.

It's much easier to travel when you have an idea of ​​your destination, as well as a plan for what to do next.

The same is true for the journey through your life. Very few people take the time to plan, so it's not surprising that they end up asking themselves, "How did I get here?"

This is why it is so important to prepare a plan in advance. However, most people find it easier to ignore the current state of affairs than to try to make the necessary changes.

There are other benefits to creating a self-development plan. If you ever feel lost in life, you can simply look at your plan and remind yourself where you are going.

A personal development plan is your guide to life, allowing you to take control of your destiny and be able to make better decisions.

A self-development plan will help you expand your knowledge, develop new skills, or improve important areas of your life.

So what elements does a self-development plan include?

Define your goals

The first step is to identify the goals that really matter to you.

They may be related to career, personal life, health, or the desire to acquire a new skill (for example, learn a foreign language).

What is important to you? What new skills do you want to gain? What achievements will make you happy? Do you have unfulfilled dreams? Do you want to get a better job?

Write down 5 to 10 goals that matter to you.

Set your priorities

Of all the goals you wrote down, which one do you consider the most important? This will become the main strategic objective on which you should focus your attention.

Perhaps you want to develop your career, get in better physical shape, or learn new skills.

Think about skills that, in addition to their immediate benefits, have a positive impact on other areas of life.

For example, if you learn to speak well, the result can be increased self-confidence, improved communication skills and relationships with other people, and even business success (for example, successful business negotiations or achieving greater sales volumes).

So look at your list and choose one goal that is most important to you and that you will begin to implement first.

Set a deadline for achieving your goal

If you have set a goal for yourself, but have not determined the deadline for achieving it, it will remain just letters on a white sheet of paper.

Additionally, if you plan to complete a large project in a short period of time, you will most likely fail.

When planning, you must be realistic, specific and use a reasonable time frame approach.

Instead of deciding to become a dollar millionaire in a year, it is better to set a goal to double your income over the same period.

Once you have determined a realistic time frame, it is very important to take your plans seriously. If for you a self-development plan is just a piece of paper, so be it.

Instead of focusing on the problems and obstacles that may arise, imagine the genuine state of euphoria you will find yourself in when you achieve your goal.

In addition, you can provide a reward for the results obtained.

Identify your strengths

Each person has ordinary average skills, while at the same time possessing stronger qualities, which are based on aptitudes for a particular type of activity.

What are your advantages compared to other people? If you're not sure of an answer, ask your friends and family. You might even be surprised by what you learn about yourself.

Your strengths are what make you unique and special, so it is very important for you to recognize these aspects of your personality.

Perhaps you are collected, patient, persistent, sociable, smart, brave, grasp everything on the fly, have a tendency to be interested in music, sports, programming, etc.

With a clear understanding of what your strengths are, write down those that will help you achieve your goal.

Reveal your weaknesses

Your current behavior and existing habits can either help or hinder the achievement of your goal.

If your goal is to live to 100, then you need to quit smoking, stop eating junk food, and stop taking things too personally.

Write down at least 5 bad habits that you should break.

Identify new skills

If you want to have something you've never had, start doing something you've never done. Richard David Bach

In other words, to achieve something you've never achieved before, you need to develop skills you've never had before.

You should start working on these skills as soon as possible. To do this, determine what skills and knowledge will help you achieve your goal and make a list of them.

Take action

If you want to achieve a big goal, you have a lot of work to do.

Write down at least 3 to 5 of the most important tasks that you need to complete within a certain time frame.

Get support

Who can help you achieve your goals at an accelerated pace?

If you want to lose weight, you can contact a fitness trainer. If you want to organize a business, find access to people who have experience in the niche you are interested in, who will not be your competitors (for example, entrepreneurs from another region). If you want to become a master of words, sign up for public speaking courses.

Make a list of people who can help you achieve your goals.

Progress

The best motivator for continuous movement forward is your own progress. Even if it is insignificant, you will receive a portion of pleasure and a boost of energy.

It is important to evaluate your achievements and also draw conclusions about what can be improved. If something goes wrong, then you need to change the strategy you are using.

Write down all conclusions based on the results of the evaluation of the results obtained, which will determine the need to make appropriate adjustments.

Your task is to make all available resources work for you.

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We set strategic goals

If short-term planning produces results, and you have entered the “I see a goal - I see no obstacles” mode, you can expand the time frame and set strategic goals. And remember! Laziness in psychology is divided into two aspects - lack of motivation and lack of will. If laziness eats up all your progress, then you should think about changing your field of activity or working conditions. But if you have chosen the right direction and are steadily moving towards your goal, then all possibilities are open to you.

Jack Ma , a man whose fortune is now estimated at $25 billion, never showed much promise. A frail Chinese man from a poor family - he was not accepted into college twice, was refused a job more than ten times, and was hired only as a provincial tour guide for foreigners. There he learned English on his own and then graduated from a pedagogical university. Having learned about the existence of the Internet, he realized that China does not exist on the Internet, just like the Internet in China. Then Ma Yun (his real name) set himself the global goal of becoming a pioneer. For four years he studied literature, studied, and finally organized an Internet company. Today it is known as the Alibaba Group, a rival-crushing legend with a turnover of more than $180 billion.

Jack Ma is called the richest man in China. That's why he's so happy. Photo source: VTB magazine “Energy of Success”

We've figured out where to start personal growth in your career, but how to finish? Nothing and never! As you know, movement is life, and upward movement is a good life.

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