Respect for a man is the foundation of a happy relationship. Having met “the one,” women see only advantages in a guy: intelligence, sense of humor, readiness to help at any moment. But after six months, the rose-colored glasses disappear. It turns out that the chosen one smokes in the car, goes on a solo hike every weekend, and prefers to watch TV series instead of walking the dog. Respect disappears, along with love, passion and harmony. What does respect mean in a relationship, why and why to respect a man, and what happens if you don’t? Let's figure it out together.
Why are they respected?
Respect is based on recognition of a person's merits .
These could be character traits, behavior, views and beliefs, achievements, etc.
Since the nature of men and women is very different, they evaluate their partners according to different criteria.
Women
Which women are respected? Men never lose interest in women who:
- They know their “worth”. The most popular are those representatives of the fair sex who, first of all, respect themselves.
They will never impose themselves, show excessive persistence, agree to unworthy offers, etc. - They have their own range of interests . Often in family life, wives concentrate all their attention on their children and spouse, forgetting about their own needs. As a result, they cease to be interesting to the partner. A man always respects his soul mate, who has his own activities, goals, and plans.
- Attractive to others . The demand of a woman “on the market” immediately increases her value. Often a man grows cold towards his other half due to negative changes in her appearance, style, and behavior. But as soon as a girl takes care of herself and acquires a circle of fans, her partner immediately begins to show more attention.
- They act feminine. This concept includes a whole set of qualities: the ability to please the opposite sex, run a household, show care and attention, and always look attractive.
Femininity is inherent in those representatives of the fairer sex who are in harmony with themselves and are clearly aware of their nature.
Men
Women value the following traits most in their partners:
- Confidence. A man makes all decisions himself without regard to the opinions of his parents or friends. He knows how to take responsibility and meet expectations. All his actions indicate the presence of character and will.
- Success . This is not only material wealth, but also the presence of a certain social status. In this case, the age of the partner plays a big role. Of course, a young guy who just graduated from college yesterday cannot boast of significant achievements. Mature men are already assessed by their partners precisely from the point of view of their merits, since the absence of them indicates lack of initiative and laziness.
- Self-sufficiency .
At first, obvious interest may flatter a partner’s vanity, but gradually a man’s excessive concentration on her person will lead to a loss of respect for him and the appearance of irritation. The partner should not constantly call, write, share all the hobbies of the chosen one and constantly be aware of all her affairs. - Physical endurance . A man is, first of all, a provider and protector. For this reason, representatives of the stronger sex must develop not only strong-willed qualities and intelligence, but also physical strength. Next to such a partner, any woman feels confident and protected.
- Restraint . Since, due to their psychology, most women are prone to excessive expression of emotions, they feel the need to have a partner nearby who will balance them. Men who remain calm in any situation and do not give in to women's hysterics always command respect.
Earn Trust
Trust is a very delicate thing. But despite this, without him it is impossible to build any relationships, especially family ones. You need to trust your partner as you trust yourself.
The key to building trust is simple. Keep your promises, don't lie about your location, be honest with your partner. Don't say you're going to buy bread if you're going to the mall to buy jeans. And if they said that they went to buy a bakery product, go to the nearest stall and strictly follow the intended route. Trust is built from little things. It is enough to lie or let your chosen one down once to lose trust.
Signs of Lack of Respect
Signs by which a man or woman can understand that their partner no longer respects them :
- outright boredom in the presence of the other half,
- contempt for the interests of the partner,
- accusations of greed
- use of obscene language, offensive statements,
- constant reproaches, humiliation,
- stinginess,
- excessive demands,
- lack of care and attention,
- ignoring needs
- showing interest in other people of the opposite sex (flirting, staring, flirtatiousness, etc.),
- comparison with other women/men.
It should be noted that such behavior signals a lack of respect, not love.
A person may by nature have a complex, contradictory character , to which is added bad manners and the inability to communicate with the opposite sex. As a result, a similar style of behavior is observed even in the presence of strong feelings for a partner.
Communicate
Having secrets means that you don't trust your partner or don't trust them at all. Perhaps the reason for the appearance of secrets is embarrassment or fear of telling some shameful things, in your opinion. The only way out in such a situation is to tell everything. If a person really loves you, he will not make fun of you, but will show respect and understanding and help solve the problems that arise.
Advice from psychologists
Lack of respect in a couple is not a reason for separation. Often it is enough to make an effort to change a relationship for the better. Advice from psychologists will help you cope with the problem.
Girls and wives
What should you do if your boyfriend doesn’t respect you or your husband stops appreciating you and starts insulting you ? How to teach your partner to behave differently?
- How to get a guy's respect? You just need to start respecting yourself. A guy will only show attention to a girl who demonstrates self-confidence and has her own hobbies and interests. Well-groomed appearance, intelligence, financial independence, the ability to communicate with others, the presence of fans - these are what guys pay attention to first of all. Also, you should not show excessive enthusiasm for your fan. It is enough to encourage his advances by demonstrating affection and a desire to communicate. But constant calls and messages will definitely not do any good.
- How to regain your husband's respect? The husband could not change his attitude towards his wife without reasons.
Therefore, it is important to analyze the situation and identify existing problems. Perhaps the woman has neglected her own appearance or has ceased to be interesting. If during the period of courtship she was a confident beauty with many admirers, and in marriage she turned into a faceless homebody, then it is quite possible to understand the man’s negativity. In this case, you need to take care of yourself, change your image, play sports, make new acquaintances. Often the loss of respect is associated with a change in the wife's character. An unrestrained, hysterical, demanding, selfish spouse only causes rejection. In this case, you need to start working on your behavior. - How to punish a man for disrespect? The easiest way to teach him a lesson is to stop paying attention to him. Any insult, humiliation or ignoring of requests must be met with complete indifference. It is important for a woman to concentrate on her own life, on personal interests. It is important to start leading an active life, meeting new people, including men. Such behavior will show the partner that he can easily lose his other half if he does not change his attitude towards her.
For husbands
What to do when your wife doesn't appreciate you? How to make her show respect ?
- What to do if your wife doesn't respect you? A woman's disrespect is always caused by the wrong behavior of her other half. It is necessary to learn to take responsibility, make decisions, achieve high results, and ensure the material well-being of the family. Such a companion is always an authority for his wife. It is also important to never follow a woman’s lead or give in to her whims. Only men who always make their own decisions and remain calm in any circumstances deserve respect.
- How to change your wife's attitude? For women, divorce always becomes a last resort, especially if there are children in the family.
Accordingly, any attempts by the husband to correct the situation and regain the respect of his wife will be regarded from a positive point of view. If the disrespect is due to the professional failure of the spouse, you should try to find a good job. If the reason lies in his inability to provide for his family, he should think about finding an additional source of income. When your wife is offended by the lack of care and attention, you need to change your behavior. Negativity on the part of a woman can be explained by the immature, infantile behavior of her husband. In this case, you should learn to take responsibility for the family.
Thus, following the advice of psychologists, you can regain the respect of your other half . The presence of problems in a relationship is indicated by typical negative signs in the behavior of a partner.
What to do if your husband does not respect and insults:
Trust your husband
The flip side of trust is the manifestation of mistrust. When you express mistrust, you destroy the foundation of your marriage. Demonstrating trust is easy. Don't check your partner's phone for suspicious SMS or calls, or try to find anything unusual in your browser browsing history. Don't control your spouse when he leaves home to spend some time with his friends: play video games, golf or poker. You need to be happy that your husband has friends who will support him in difficult times, and not judge him for leaving home, leaving you alone or with a child.
For your chosen one, trust is important. If he sees that you doubt him, it can destroy the connection between you and drive you further apart. Trust your chosen one, and you can become an ideal wife.
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Be grateful
Be grateful for your husband. Be grateful for your home. Be grateful for your job, children and close relatives. Women who want more reproach their partner for failure, thereby undermining not only their relationship, but also destroying a bright feeling - love. Show your husband gratitude and you will become a better wife in your husband's eyes.
Practice of acceptance
Accept your spouse for who he is. Don't try to change an adult. You won't succeed anyway. You will only ruin your nervous system, but you will not get results. If you want to become an ideal wife for your husband, accept him for who he is, with all his shortcomings and advantages, bad habits and things that may irritate you. After all, don't forget that you have flaws too.
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Accepting your husband is the best way to show respect. Of course, exceptions to this rule include situations involving verbal or physical abuse, addiction, and criminal activity.
Deer syndrome
There is no need to blame yourself for this. Deer syndrome is the scourge of modern men.
Our society is patriarchal, slave, it cannot live without a leader
. Everyone remembers what the country turned into after the establishment of democracy. People were given freedom, but instead of using it correctly, they began to drink, take drugs, and start a crime. Most of our wives have Soviet, not European, thinking; they do not understand the basics of democratic partnership, so they subconsciously expect management from their husbands.
Young husbands in Russia do not understand that their wives need to be managed, they need to constantly educate them, and they need to spend their time and energy on this. This often happens due to the fact that husbands in Russia were raised by mothers, while fathers worked hard from morning to night.
When a husband is too lazy to educate, the relationship deteriorates, the wife drives her husband under her thumb, begins to act stupid herself, and makes the whole family suffer.
Managing a family is difficult, but going through these difficulties will make you a leader with a stable psyche
. You will grow morally if you take care of your family - this is a guarantee.
You have to fight for your family, there’s no other way.
First installation:
your wife is a difficult teenager, and you are a teacher
. You should engage in re-education of your spouse with a minimum of emotions. This is a long process, but it will be fruitful if you do it.