Someone might think that giving advice on how to show love to a man correctly is stupid and they will be right! After all, love is love, there is no place for right and wrong! However, there are 10 nuances that can significantly improve the relationship between any man and woman, eliminating omissions and failures.
These 10 points are a great opportunity to understand where you need to work on your relationship to make it better. The tips will help you understand what needs to be done to make your man feel like a significant person next to a woman who would like to love his partner for many years. So, let's look at ten tips on how to show love to a man.
Be confident, love yourself
Don't confuse self-love with selfishness, otherwise the result will not be what you expected. If a woman does not love herself, it is unlikely that a man will be able to love her.
But it often happens that women stop loving themselves, because there are children and a man nearby who come first.
Loving yourself is the main quality of a healthy personality. Therefore, devote enough time to self-development, beauty and positive emotions. Try to find time to relax and have fun.
Turn off mommy
Men become very attached to their mothers. Therefore, we are very happy about the care of our woman, who is similar to a mother’s. But this is one of the main mistakes of a woman - becoming a mother for a man, surrounding him with care and not giving him independence.
A man needs a beloved, he already has a mother. Yes, caring is always good. But you'd rather love your partner more than constantly worry about him.
Practical steps to real feeling
A loving person wants to make his partner happy. True love is impossible without the following components:
- Respect
. Men and women want to be valued and respected for their personal qualities and interests. Sarcasm and cruel jokes about a partner’s shortcomings gradually destroy relationships.5 ways to increase respect in your family
1. Be careful about your partner’s needs. 2. Accept the psychological and physiological characteristics of a person. 3. Share interests, hobbies, loved ones. 4. Try to understand someone else's point of view. 5. Make decisions that are important for the family together.
- Attention and care
. Caring manifests itself differently for men and women. Men will highly appreciate: a delicious dinner, a clean and tidy house, a massage, and the opportunity to be alone in difficult times.Women need emotional support, kind words, protection in a dangerous situation. Constantly showing signs of attention (kisses, compliments, touches) is the best way to express love for a woman.
- Selfless actions
. Love differs from a transaction in the desire to bring joy to a loved one, without expecting anything in return.A man gives a ring to his beloved to make her happy, and not with the expectation of passionate sex, in gratitude for the gift.
- Praise and sincere compliments
. Psychologists believe that men and women need to be praised differently.Correct compliments:
To a man To a woman High assessment of personal qualities and character traits. Praise appearance, body features. A woman dreams of being attractive to her lover; she will be delighted by truthful compliments that celebrate her beauty. Expressing gratitude for care and protection. A woman wants to be chosen, to be singled out among all others. She will be pleased with the words: “You are the most tender,” “You are my only,” “You are the most graceful.” The main thing is that she knows that she is valued more than others. A man will not forget a woman who is sensitive to his work, skills, and abilities. You need to praise him more often for the results of his work and achievements. Representatives of the fair sex constantly strive to attract attention. By positively noting her new clothes, hairstyle, manicure, the man satisfies her main need. - Support in difficult times
. True love is tested by difficult life circumstances. One who has sincere feelings will show care and support, even when the whole world has turned its back on his loved one.
For reference!
Love requires knowledge about the character traits and needs of the partner. Men and women have their own understanding of love, a happy family, and relationships. It is important to learn to speak the same “love language” in order to achieve mutual understanding.
Always be feminine
Women's sophistication physically and psychologically always attracts men, so work on yourself. Be interested in different areas, develop your personality.
If you are involved in a scandal and want to use strong language, replace it with strict speech that does not contain profanity.
Take care of your natural beauty. Avoid wearing bright cosmetics and experimenting with hair coloring. Everything should be in moderation.
Be confident in your attractiveness and grace. A woman should exude sexuality, but not show it off.
The key to a woman's heart
Relationships are a real science, which is not easy for men.
But without knowing the peculiarities of female psychology, a man has no chance of winning love and proving his feelings to his beloved. For many women, the fidelity and devotion of their partner comes first. A man can destroy sincere feelings by showing that his girlfriend (wife) is far from the only one.
Women react very painfully to any manifestations of infidelity:
- Compliments to other representatives of the fair sex.
- Close communication between a man and his “girlfriends” on the Internet.
- Passionate glances at other women's charms.
- Friendship with another girl.
- Kisses, hugs and actual betrayal.
The girl will highly appreciate the loyalty and devotion of her beloved, she will prefer him to anyone else.
Hating is always wrong, but loving is always right. Lady Gaga
An indicator of feelings for women are
regular signs of attention
:
- kisses;
- embrace;
- words of love;
- flowers;
- sweet surprises;
- compliments;
- expensive gifts;
In family life, men forget to show love, thus believing that painting was already the best confirmation of feelings. It is important for women to regularly make sure that she is loved, desired, and appreciated.
Men, love women!
They are all goddesses! show a woman her importance
, importance in your life, in other ways:
- Helping his wife with housework.
- Going shopping with your loved one.
- Offering your help.
- Praising her culinary masterpieces.
- Supporting a woman in difficult times, in difficult periods of life.
Even self-sufficient and independent women dream of the protection and care of their beloved man.
The weaker sex is attracted to masculine character traits:
- Ability to quickly make complex decisions
. - Determination
. It is important for women to know what goals a man has, what is most important in his life. - Strength of will
. A man must remain calm in any circumstances, even with a woman’s hysteria. - Ability to solve everyday problems
: fix a faucet, drive a nail, repair an electrical appliance.
Having thus won the trust of a woman, a man will win her heart. Feeling a strong man's shoulder, a woman will gladly give her beloved the role of leader, laying aside the overwhelming burden of male responsibilities.
Remember every minute what the purpose of your relationship with a man is.
For normal people, the goal of a relationship is to provide maximum comfort for a long time, that is, to make yourself and your partner happy. So repeat this to yourself every time you want to teach, treat, criticize your man, take it out on him during PMS, be violently jealous, inquire about his leisure time, express an opinion about his friends, argue about politics, religion and the color of his pants.
Is your rightness or interest in a particular situation worth the peace and joy that you deprive your partner of?
Keep in mind: approximately two-thirds of the sources of conflict are described by the scheme “the woman came up with a problem out of the blue and inflated the man’s lack of response to it to the scale of a tragedy.”
Praise him!
If he is not worthy of praise and does everything crookedly, what the hell are you doing next to this loser? Leave, don't prolong each other's agony. Don’t be a grumpy mother, a strict boss, a capricious daughter for him - take only positive components from all these hypostases: constant but unobtrusive care, interest in his growth, admiration for his toughness.
Many in childhood heard the expression “over-praise - spoil”, but this is a myth; it is impossible to over-praise an adult sane person, he has a self-esteem bar. And praising does not mean flattering, it means looking at him with the desire to see the good.
Praise is pleasant for everyone; if you don’t take it into service, there will be smarter people with whom he will prefer to communicate.
How to love your husband again like before if there are no feelings anymore
Remember your favorite love films that you enjoyed watching in childhood and youth. Yes, the screen characters had to go through difficulties, quarrels and breakups, but in the end they were reunited, love triumphed, everything ended with a wedding, kisses, a limousine, and at the end there was a curtain and credits. We, as in the scripts of these films, did not think to look anywhere far. Our goal was to find the love of our life, get married, have a child.
Few of us imagined the difficulties that we would face in our future family life. It seems that before our eyes we had parental experience with quarrels, scandals, disagreements, but we thought that everything would be different for us. And they were not ready, but it was necessary that marriage is already work on oneself, and work must be done in a team with your husband. And the marriage will not last on love alone in the first years.
But first, you still need to determine whether there really is a cooling of feelings in your marriage.
Why do feelings fade away? How to rekindle faded feelings? Let's look at the reasons why love dies, and whether everything is really hopeless.
Don't humiliate him or make trouble in public
Showdowns in public places are taboo, because the public image of respectability and reliability is much more important for a man than for a woman, who, under the current social system, can still afford to be a beautiful, frivolous fool.
When the “other half”, the most trusted person, begins to undermine a man’s authority in front of his friends, colleagues or the crowd in the subway, it is perceived as a knife in the back. This is often forgiven, but never forgotten. Making a man lose face is one of a woman's biggest strategic miscalculations in a relationship. This will come back to haunt you, no doubt about it.
So wait until you get home with your claims, at the same time cool down and think about them.
Support his endeavors, even the most idiotic ones
When he takes away your wedding rings to play the slot machines a little more, that's one thing. But when he is interested in ice fishing, playing the trombone, cross-stitching, biathlon, collecting garden gnomes, and selling his own adjika over the Internet - that’s completely different. The desire to meet new initiatives with hostility is inherent in the nature of every person, because any system strives to maintain balance, but here you will have to be smarter than nature.
Start from a realistic assessment of the maximum possible damage to you personally and to the well-being of your family. Do you feel sorry for a couple of thousand dollars for the happiness of your loved one with Pisces, and after that you are surprised how fiercely he hates your trips to shoe stores? Well, the gnomes have cluttered up the hallway and two loggias, and is this really so terrible?
And again: if you don’t appreciate and support, someone else will, and at that moment you will move away.
Correct communication
Even if you feel that emotions are taking over you, the feeling of anger and resentment towards a man does not allow you to remain silent, then try to filter what you say. Insults, offensive words - a man will never forget all this, even if you are able to resolve the conflict soon.
Under no circumstances should you humiliate a man. Try to convey to your loved one what you feel at the moment. Tell us how angry, offended or upset you are, and most importantly, then voice the reason why you feel such feelings.
To show love for a man, you don’t need to blame him for all sins; when you start saying that the man is guilty of everything, and everything that happens is just his mistakes, then your partner immediately reacts with hostility to such behavior. Learn to calmly, and most importantly, correctly and delicately defend your positions, convey your point of view to your loved one without offense or accusation.
The most stunning look is for him, not for a meeting of classmates
The syndrome of a victorious hunter losing interest in the game he has caught is no less common in women than in men. The fact that you got him into cohabitation or tied the knot does not mean that now he is forever in love with you. Yes, it’s vulgar, mean and banal, but about half of my male patients complained about facts of a girl’s neglect of her appearance after the relationship had become stable.
If he fell in love with a physicist with gray hair, a brown checkered vest and worn-out boots, he knew what he was getting into.
But since in your wedding photos you are a blonde in curls and roses, and now you are a cropped woman in a comfortable jumpsuit, then don’t blame me if they stop perceiving you as an attractive female. Moreover, when at corporate events you put on makeup and buy a new dress, and at home you walk around a la naturel in the same delicate pastel things (which the male eye perceives as faded and asexual). It's very simple, but women don't stop making this mistake. You are not obligated to be loved for who you are (moreover, you are not obligated to be loved a priori at all).
He is the main one. And period
Seriously, this is so convenient. The main problem of feminists is trying to, figuratively speaking, unload the cars when they can dance instead. Whether by evolution, social attitudes or upbringing in most families, a man is raised to be a problem solver, leader, captain, and so on. This does not humiliate you in any way unless you decide that you want to be humiliated.
One girl perceives the offered hand as she gets off the bus as gallantry, the other as a hint of her inability to jump over a puddle due to the physical weakness of her short legs. It is clear which of them enjoys communication with the opposite sex, and which suffers from the oppression of chauvinists.
And it’s up to you to decide which girl to be.
- Give him the joy of being strong, acting, thinking and playing first violin.
- Let the man lead and the dance will work.
Even if he is not always right, you can then quietly correct the situation: even when in fact you do the lion’s share, if you love your partner, it will not be difficult to imitate the picture “you are my hero, I am just in the wings.” Carry out your will to power in other places. For example, with gays. They do not care.
The importance of psychotherapeutic work on childhood
The consequences of injuries received at such an early age are dangerous because they are practically unconscious and difficult to correct. Growing up, such a woman realizes: “I love my husband very much, what should I do now? How can I reduce this emotional intensity before it begins to take advantage of my weakness and trample on family values?” The answer to this truly difficult question lies in turning your attention to the past.
Moreover, it is recommended to do this in the company of a qualified psychotherapist. A child raised in an orphanage is completely deprived of parental attention, which cannot but lead to negative consequences. In addition, some children may be subject to overt, gratuitous violence from adults. And even if a child grew up in a complete, prosperous family, he could receive many negative attitudes from his parents that could hinder him in adulthood.
For example, a mother could often reproach her daughter for giving her a lot of trouble, or constantly set up a more obedient child as an example, reproach her for not being serious and it’s time for her to grow up, demand primacy in all endeavors, or, conversely, not allow anything. , afraid that something will happen to her. Having matured, such a woman will feel inferior, which will certainly affect her relationship with her husband. Yes, psychotherapy is quite an expensive pleasure. But if a lady values her family relationships and also wants to develop herself as a person, then all these costs will pay off handsomely in the future.
Talk about important things directly, without hints
Men understand hints, but more often these are hints from other men or those hints that are beneficial for them to understand. It is not customary for them (with the possible exception of the Japanese) to talk about the essence of the matter in Aesopian language.
When your husband wants to sell a batch of motorcycles to a client, he says: “We have a well-known brand, the warranty period is average in the market, and for wholesale we will discount you 7%,” and not: “The autumn leaf has withered on the lonely elm that grew on the sad hill , and it’s time to harness the iron horse to intelligent creatures and quickly run to the south from these places.”
Therefore, state it simply, but not globally, not “tell me straight, you stopped loving me, right?”, but “I’m tired of collecting your worms for ice fishing all over the house, this is not what my mother raised me for, hire a housekeeper.”
Reasons for the disappearance of love. 15 main factors
And so, dear readers, we found out with you what the signs are that you have stopped loving your husband. Now let's figure out why love leaves in marriage.
One of the reasons is constant scandals in the house
- One of the reasons may be the presence of constant quarrels and scandals in the house.
- When people get married because the girl is pregnant, and not because of mutual consent.
- This marriage was too early, when both were absolutely not ripe for adult family life, and now an epiphany has come.
- Often girls marry “just a good man”, fearing never to meet the love of their life again. At first, the marriage is still supported by these thoughts, and then it begins to collapse like a castle in the air.
- The change in the husband's appearance is not for the better. He gained weight, went bald, and stopped taking care of himself.
- My husband's addiction to alcoholic beverages. When my husband often comes home from work drunk, he gets together with friends. And these are no longer one-time cases, but permanent ones.
- The husband became interested in roulette and is losing the entire family budget.
- Solving family issues with fists on the part of the husband. Perhaps more often he lets his hands go under the influence of alcoholic intoxication.
- Poor relationships with your husband’s mother, father, sister or brother and other relatives.
- When my husband doesn't come home to spend the night.
- Absolutely opposing interests.
- When intimate life has practically disappeared
- When the wife fell in love with another man.
- When the husband cheated on his wife, and she cannot cope with the pain and resentment caused by her husband’s betrayal. Read more about this situation in our article: What to do if your husband cheats and lies, but doesn’t want to leave, says he loves you.
- When the wife wants to have children, but the husband does not.
Don't put him at the center of your universe and don't demand that he put you at the center of his.
I don't mean sincere concern for each other's needs or depth of love, but demands for attention to small things. Half-hour conversations on the phone five times a day about nothing irritate almost any man. Psychological dependence on his opinion flatters him, but also irritates him.
Therefore, do not try to officially devote your life to him, this is very frightening, and reproaches for inattention, coupled with meaningless emotional manifestations, will very quickly tire him, and you will be left crying and exclaiming “ungrateful, I gave him all of myself.”
Let's be honest: you don't even need all of you. And it’s even more reasonable for him to offer only the most delicious parts.
Signs of emerging reciprocity
How can you understand that all your efforts have a positive result? A feeling of love in such a situation most often arises gradually, and it is not always possible to immediately understand that indifference to this person is a thing of the past. You should listen to yourself carefully, because the first positive emotions arise almost imperceptibly at first.
Feeling of comfort and lightness
The first manifestation of falling in love can be a feeling of comfort and ease next to your partner. You are interested in being together, you have many common hobbies. You don't get bored spending leisure time together. There is no tension in communication; you can discuss almost all topics without embarrassment, without fear of misunderstanding.
Sadness at parting
Also an important sign of emerging feelings is sadness during parting and separation. You want to spend more time together, so when forced to spend time alone, melancholy comes over you.
You think about what you would do together at this time, where you would go or go. Alone, these activities seem uninteresting.
Desire to call or write
As a continuation of these thoughts, a strong desire arises to call or write to your chosen one. In the same way, I really want to receive a message from him with pleasant and gentle words, hear his voice or see him via video call. Fortunately, modern means of communication easily provide this opportunity.
Worry about your partner
When tender feelings arise, a desire appears to take care of the partner, worry about his condition, find out about the state of his affairs. If he is haunted by failures, then you too worry and cannot find a place for yourself. If everything is fine with him, then you have joy in your soul.
Desire to provide help or support
After you have found out how your partner spends his time, what he is interested in, what makes him happy and what upsets him, you are happy to notice any little things where your help and support is needed.
Attentiveness
You are ready to show any, even the smallest, signs of attention. You are happy to congratulate him on the holidays, choose gifts for him, give him advice when he needs it.
Respect
As mentioned above, respect is an important sign of a serious relationship. If you feel respect for your partner, this says a lot. Even if there are no bright emotions, it is this feeling that can become the key to a further happy relationship.
As a matter of fact, even where there is intense love and no respect, there is a very high risk of the relationship breaking up.
How to love a man and create a long-lasting relationship.
Method 1 – Be understanding
Respect his independence.
Loving a man does not mean trying to do everything and everything with him. In fact, if you really want to love a man, then you should show your love by allowing him to do things without you from time to time. If he likes to read in his study or practice his carpentry skills in the garage, you don't have to check on him every two seconds and ask him what he's doing or if he needs anything. Of course, sharing your interests with your loved one is wonderful, but it is equally important to take into account the fact that he would like to do something of his own from time to time.
If you really want to love a man, then you must be able to determine when he actually wants to be alone. Leaving him alone when he really needs it is a way of showing him your true love.
Give him “man time.”
If he's going to hang out with guys, let him do it. While he shouldn't go out drinking with friends every night and leave you at home, every now and then a man needs to relax and spend time in the company of other men. There's nothing wrong with that, just like there's nothing wrong with wanting to hang out with your girlfriends.
Get psychotherapy
Sometimes it can be extremely difficult to heal yourself from love addiction. In this case, you cannot do without the help of a specialist who will help you work through childhood traumas. Even if they are mild, one way or another these early effects on the psyche leave an imprint on a person’s entire life.
Parents begin to make mistakes in raising children from a very early age. In infancy, the mother could underfeed the child, not approach him when he was crying, or ignore him for a long time. There is an opinion that if you do not react to a child’s crying, he will grow up to be independent. This is wrong. The child develops a feeling of fear, he feels abandoned, and is constantly in an anxious state.
