How to forget the married man you love (advice from a psychologist)

Meeting your soulmate, with whom you feel warm, comfortable and cozy, is a wonderful event for every person. But there are situations in life when women, with feelings beyond the control of reason, want to build relationships with married men.

On the one hand, it is wrong, and even completely immoral, but on the other hand, there can be such strong feelings between people that they do not pay attention to established life patterns. But quite often such relationships end, and then a woman who has feelings for a married man can suffer greatly. How to forget the married man you love and get rid of painful feelings in order to improve your personal life will be discussed further.

Why a woman’s relationship with a married man cannot end in marriage

First of all, you need to understand that relationships with married men almost always end in separation, since they very rarely leave their wives.

The reasons may be different, for example:

In a legal marriage, a man has children who are dear to him, and he does not want to leave them until he puts them on their feet;
Despite the fact that the husband is often absent, supposedly on business or on a business trip, there are no scandals or bickering in his family. He is always welcome at home, this suits him quite well;
Of no small importance for men is both a sense of duty and respect for their lawful soul mate if she has health problems;
The man simply does not want to change the existing situation, so he comes up with various “excuses”.

Another reason why a relationship ends directly between a woman and a married man is considered to be a change in status if he divorces and marries his mistress. Family routine can radically change everything, which leads to the end of the relationship.

Call him as often as possible and leave as many “traces of betrayal” on him as possible.

A mistress who has decided to stop loving her married man should forget about the basic rules of behavior and call him as often as possible. These may be very early or very late calls. Don't hesitate to make calls in the middle of the night. You need to “get it” as much as possible. Then he will leave her himself.

It is very simple to explain this behavior to him: “I miss you very much.” An unfaithful husband will get the idea that the girl is suffering from some kind of mental illness, and he himself will try to avoid her. Which is good for the mistress herself.

As often as possible, he should appear in places where he is with his family. You don't have to be noticed. You should watch what the girl destroys. She will stop meeting, and everything will work out between him and his wife.

A copious amount of perfume or bright lipstick on the chosen one’s clothes will only confirm the wife’s suspicions. At home she will make a scandal for him, throw a tantrum with the words “either family or mistress.” And he will have to choose a family. Otherwise, during the divorce, she will sue him for everything. And if there are children in the family, then he will have to pay a tidy sum every month to pay child support.

Is the girl ready to give away half the amount from their total budget for the rest of her life? After all, sooner or later children will appear in their family. But the point is not so much about the money, but about the fact that the “new” offspring will have to share their dad with the “old” ones. Which will create many additional problems and unpleasant situations.

Illusions that women who date married men harbor

You shouldn’t have harmful illusions

One of the main illusions is a change in marital status, since a woman expects that her married lover will soon leave his wife and propose marriage.

The following facts can also be misleading:

This is a small infatuation and will last for a while. But, often a woman gets carried away very much, and after that she cannot refuse such a relationship and suffers greatly;
Even if a married man leaves his own family, then it is possible that when starting a family with his former mistress, she may share the fate of his ex-wife;
Secret meetings will give additional adrenaline and excitement. Such a situation will only bring pleasure at first, but after some time such secrecy will develop into hardships for all participants in such flirting;
Secret meetings may seem romantic to some, but this is only at first, but there is one more point. A married man can meet his mistress only when he has such an opportunity. Therefore, not showing up for a date or leaving earlier than usual are common situations in such relationships. And it is important to remember that a married man has completely legal grounds for this, but his mistress simply has no choice. After all, her disagreement will cause a break in the relationship. Therefore, she must either tolerate such behavior or break up with her lover.

Another fact that must be attributed to the illusion is the respect of a beloved married man for his mistress. It should be said that in the indicated life situation there is no question of respect, even if the man has strong feelings for the woman he is secretly dating from his legal wife.

A man will never humiliate his beloved woman by assigning her the status of a mistress.

It is important to remember that in the case where a woman is married and dating a married man, such love relationships can have more unpleasant consequences. There is a risk of hurting not only the lover’s wife, but also her own husband. Most often in such situations, it is their own children who suffer.

How to tell your lover that you are planning to leave him

Make an appointment with him, start talking slowly and calmly. First, be sure to celebrate the good things that happened in the relationship. Focus on the fact that you find it difficult in them, and you don’t want to lie to anyone anymore. State directly that you are tired of hiding and hiding and want to find a “full-fledged” man for a serious relationship. You can say the following: “I’m very sorry to say this, but I consciously came to the decision to break up with you. And it is not negotiable, I ask you to understand and accept it, no matter how painful it may be. Let me go, let me start a new life!”

When opening your soul, do not overdo it with warm words - the interlocutor may inflame you with even stronger feelings. Be calm, grateful and honest.

At the end, be sure to thank the man for the gifts he gave and the time he spent on you. If you can't dare to say everything directly, write him a note. The same text can be used.

Farewell letter

The text of the farewell letter should not be long, a maximum of one notebook page. It must contain:

regret that you have to part;
gratitude for a good time;
wishes of all the best, a strong family and a happy marriage;
apologies if something was wrong;
please do not disturb (do not look for meetings, do not call or send SMS).

Are you afraid to meet your lover face to face? And rightly so, it can make you change your mind! Therefore, it is best to send the letter through mutual acquaintances or his friends. This will make it easier for both him and you.

Advice from psychologists to help you forget a married man

To forget a married loved one, get him out of your head and experience the pain of separation, many women try various options, although some of them are considered completely unacceptable. For example, they try to quench their sadness by drinking alcohol. This is not a way out of the situation at all; in this case, harm is caused not only to the psychological state, but also to health in general. Since it is not easy to forget a married man, the best option would be to contact a psychologist who can deal with the problem.

a good psychologist will ease your morale

Next, the psychologist’s advice directly, which will help you figure out how to forget a married man:

It is important to understand that a married man who cheats on his own wife can do the same to his mistress in the future. No one is immune from this.
It is worth excluding from your memory all memories that relate to a married man. This applies to messages on your phone and computer, and you should also get rid of photos together. In this case, you need to be decisive. After all, unnecessary reminders can prolong a depressive state. Do not forget that you also need to delete messages from social networks if communication took place on them, but it would be better to block your ex-lover’s access to your own account.
As for mutual acquaintances, of course, you should not lose friendly relations with those people who are relatives or friends of a former undivorced man. You can limit communication at first in order to quickly get through the most critical period if their friendship is dear.
It helps to avoid a depressive state by changing the interior of your own home if you had meetings with a married man there.
You need to try to find as many flaws as possible in your ex-lover. This will help reduce the feeling of admiration and love that makes it impossible to forget him.
You can remember the advice and complaints of loved ones who knew, but were against such a relationship, because their arguments were somehow justified, and not just simple complaints.

In most cases, psychologists advise getting rid of not only photos together, but also gifts given to former lovers. An unnecessary reminder can provoke a long period of depression, and this can quite possibly have a negative impact on your health. It is best to remove them from your personal life. For example, return them to your ex or give them to someone else, you can also sell them if such an opportunity arises.

Among the ways to improve your own personal life after breaking up with a married man, many argue that giving free rein to tears makes it easier. This option is quite acceptable, although it should be short-term, that is, it should not drag on for weeks.

What you can’t do to avoid ruining yourself

The following should be avoided:

relaxation with alcohol;
digging inside yourself, trying to understand why you don’t have any available gentlemen;
listening to sad music;
watching romantic films that can make you depressed;
the appearance of a new lover (let the man be free this time!);
constant memories of how good it was with him.

Listen to what an experienced psychologist says:

That's it - you broke up, why bring up the past? Put him down and let him fly in search of a new naive girl, who will hang noodles on her ears. And you are created for sincere, all-consuming love - allow yourself to be happy!

How to end a relationship with a man who has a legal wife

Many women who start dating married men believe that over time he will leave his own wife. But as statistics indicate, more than 90% of legally married men do not marry their mistresses. Therefore, in the case when the relationship develops according to the “wife-mistress” scenario, it makes sense to stop it or not start it at all.

love triangle is not the best relationship

In order to get into the right frame of mind and not fall into depression, it is recommended to use several tips that will help you avoid unpleasant yearning because of your love for a married man.

It should be taken into account that a relationship with a man who has a family is immoral, and also short-sighted. The first option speaks for itself, but as for short-sightedness, such infantile relationships are often short-term in nature. Various everyday situations can contribute to this (tiredness from unstable meetings, tired of playing spy games, reproaches from a mistress about breaking up with his legal wife).
You need to put yourself directly in your wife’s shoes. After all, it is extremely unpleasant when your beloved husband has an affair with someone else. If a woman who has warm feelings for a married man is aware that their relationship will destroy family happiness, then the best option would be to find another admirer who can surround her with warmth and care.
It should be noted that if it is impossible to decide to part with a beloved but married man, you can try to present him with a fait accompli: either his wife or me. If your beloved begins to make excuses and fuss, then it’s worth thinking about the fact that the expected cardinal changes in family relationships simply will not happen.
Therefore, it is recommended to take this decision as a basis and end the love affair on the side if this situation is no longer satisfactory.

According to statistics, only 5-7% of married men leave their wives and marry their mistresses, and their relationships do not always last long.

How to get over a breakup?

The primary task is to realize that breaking up a relationship is not the end of the world. It’s better now and on your initiative than later and on his whim. Love fever is curable and is not included in the list of deadly diseases. Methods to combat the disease are known:

Intensive occupational therapy. Wipe off the dust on your desk and get down to business. The annual report will not print itself. Go to your boss’s office one more time: he’ll definitely come up with something to puzzle you with over the weekend. If a dead end in career growth has already occurred, then switch to household chores. Wash the windows and you will see for yourself how beautiful this world is.
Consigned to oblivion. Forget your unsuccessful romance like a bad dream. Don't call or write to him. Somehow you lived without him before. Let there be a cute monkey on your cell phone screen instead of a photo of the two of you in Sochi. With your girlish memory, there will soon be no trace of unpleasant memories. According to legend, King Solomon sometimes became despondent. The wise ruler was replaced with antidepressants by a simple inscription on the ring given to him: “This too shall pass.”
Go to a psychologist. If the relationship lasted a long time, then you won’t be able to relieve stress with a piece of chocolate and washing the windows. Fortunately, your problem is not unique and is successfully solved by practicing psychologists. An individual course will help you recover from shock, believe in yourself and regain the joy of life.
A trip to the pet store. The intense desire to be needed and take care of someone may seem unbearable at first. Get yourself a pet! He will brighten up your temporary forced loneliness, will wait for you from work and look devotedly into your eyes. You will feel loved again.

Other possible options to quickly forget a love relationship with a married man

A visit to a psychologist when a separation from a married man occurs is considered the best option, but in addition to this, you can try to cope with the current situation on your own.

Eg:

1. Change your image. You can go directly to a stylist, makeup artist, or visit a beauty salon;

visiting a beauty salon is a great option

2. A good option would be to distract yourself with some activities that will bring only positive emotions. If possible, the best option would be to go on a vacation trip, for example, to the sea, or engage in some exciting extreme sports;

seaside holidays are the best medicine

3. You shouldn’t just sit at home and be depressed; you can go to the cinema, theater, concert of your favorite artist, or attend other entertainment programs.

going to the cinema or theater is also a great way to distract and unwind

Increasing self-esteem

Self-esteem is of great importance for every representative of the fair sex. Quite often, after a breakup with a married man, a woman loses self-confidence and in this case it is difficult for her to get out of an apathetic and depressive state.

To improve your self-esteem, you can follow these recommendations:

If possible, you can start a career or create your own business;
Establish a relationship with yourself. It is important not to dwell on past relationships, and not to reproach yourself for the fact that the relationship with a married man cannot continue;
It is recommended to find something you enjoy, which can also provide emotional stability. And if your favorite activity brings profit, then this will be an additional step towards increasing self-esteem;
In addition to financial stability, it is important for a woman to be surrounded by love and care, so it is worth acquiring a new fan who will give the desired feelings. But this is mainly recommended for unmarried representatives of the fair sex;
If a woman is married and has dated a married man, then she should try to improve her relationship with her own husband, if it has not yet been completely damaged.

It also needs to be said that a woman who wants to forget a love relationship with a married man should set this as a goal, then the painful situation will quickly disappear and will not cause unpleasant sensations.

The main reasons for separation

A woman, being married or dating someone else's husband, obviously dooms herself to suffering during separation. Her emotional attachment is much stronger than that of her lover, although the young man may say the opposite. The longer the relationship lasts, the stronger the feelings at the moment of breakup. However, if this happens, at a certain point the understanding comes that you need to stop indulging in weaknesses.

READ How to behave with your lover: nuances of relationships and advice from an astrologer

Awareness is possible for a number of reasons:

The husband is more expensive. Despite the many advantages of a lover, a man who has been married to a woman for more than one year seems closer. The emotional connection on the other side gradually cools down, becomes boring, and the loved one suffers due to lack of warmth and affection. Understanding kinship and the value of family after betrayal is a normal mental reaction. It especially often manifests itself after the first incident of betrayal, but can cause a break in a long-term affair.
The desire for a fulfilling life. You can’t marry your lover, you can’t give birth to his child, because the man has a family. It is also unlikely that you will be able to lure her into your bed with pregnancy - the young man will either offer an abortion or leave the girl alone. In such situations, the thought arises of how to leave a hopeless married lover, because no further development of the relationship is expected.
Communication does not give emotions. A woman expects passion and novelty from her lover, so she wants to postpone everyday aspects for later. If the girl has no intention of leaving her family, and the second young man begins to demand fulfillment of duty not only in bed, but also in the kitchen, the thought of separation arises.
A woman feels an obligation to her lover. Intrigues on the side are started for various reasons, but in any case, the main requirement is ease of communication. If a man forces you to have sex, insists on meeting in strange places or at inconvenient times, or behaves rudely, then the intrigue must be stopped.

Regardless of the reasons, breaking up with your lover requires decisive action.