How to make peace with a guy after a quarrel: six steps towards reconciliation


Author: Olesya Kuznetsova January 26, 2019

Category: Relationships

Relationships cannot be consistently cloudless. From time to time, misunderstandings and conflicts of interest arise between people. Relationships between lovers are no exception. They often have to think about how to make peace after a quarrel. It is quite normal that men, who are known to be from Mars, and women, who are from Venus, are looking for ways to get along with each other. Part of this difficult process is, in fact, a quarrel. But not every quarrel ends in forgiveness and reconciliation.

Today we will find out how to restore peace when the representative of Venus acts as a peacemaker. And it doesn’t matter whether she is a young girl, a young or a mature woman, because for each of us, harmonious, strong relationships with representatives of the opposite sex are a matter of life. From our article you will learn how to ask for forgiveness from a guy, how to make peace with your loved one and learn to determine when it is worth doing and when not.

How to make peace with a guy if he doesn't want to

A quarrel is a very unpleasant thing.
But what to do if a guy doesn’t take steps towards a girl because of his pride? Psychologists agree that if a girl admits she was wrong, the guy can quickly thaw out. Remember, after a quarrel, it is important to avoid self-criticism, which slowly destroys feelings and calls for ending the relationship. Don’t rush to conclusions; it’s better to take the initiative into your own hands.

What to tell a guy to make peace? The answer to this question is sought by many girls who, one way or another, are guilty before a man. It is especially important to show sincerity, which will definitely bribe your partner. If the guy doesn’t make contact, think about what pleasant surprise to give and how to apologize.

Use words or expressions - “dear, I love you so much”, “let’s forget all our grievances and disagreements.” Do not continue the showdown, even if the guy is determined to continue arguing and uses humiliation techniques. Even if you acted poorly, you should draw conclusions! But a real man would not dare to stoop to swear words towards a woman.

If, for some reason, you lack courage, you can make peace with the guy via SMS. To do this, you do not need to write a long text of an apology; it is enough to admit that you were wrong, and also write kind and warm words.

Many psychologists and experts recommend that before making peace with your ex-boyfriend, you should give vent to your emotions and practice special techniques. This doesn’t have to be shouting out grievances in the forest; it’s quite possible to just cry in silence. If you are an expressive person, put your grievances on a piece of paper, getting rid of negative thoughts, concerns, and fears. After that, simply throw the sheet in the trash or burn it.

After the emotions have subsided and the anger has stopped boiling, you need to think carefully about the situation. Better yet, understand why it happened between you. Perhaps you committed a misdemeanor, and not a joke act, as you think? Maybe you are quick-tempered and don’t know how to take constructive criticism? Only after analyzing the behavior should you talk to your loved one and discuss a further plan of action.

Approach the task with humor

Humor is a reliable tool in building relationships. It is especially valuable in girls, since few have this quality. In addition, humor is for intellectuals, and if you know how to joke, it means you have a developed mind. But they don’t part with smart and beautiful girls so easily.

Look at the quarrel from a different angle, try to turn it into a joke. Laugh with your chosen one at the situation. In the grand scheme of things, there are very few things in life that deserve to be fought over.

And if you can turn on humor earlier, you can use it to prevent discord.

How to make peace with a guy at a distance

Long distance relationships are fragile things. Communication is tense due to the fact that the halves are far from each other, which aggravates the quarrel and can develop the conflict even further. As in the first and second cases, it is necessary to understand the cause of the crack in a love relationship:

Lack of trust on the part of the partner

This is a serious reason, which, according to statistics, can even lead to separation. A big quarrel can flare up due to banal jealousy and deception, which, one way or another, are present in serious relationships. It’s worth talking to your partner and letting him understand that love is the most important thing and you need to learn to trust each other. This will bear fruit that will strengthen the union. According to most experts, a little spice in a relationship won't hurt either. This warms up feelings and helps strengthen relationships. But remember moderation!

Conflict due to the fact that one of the partners is proud

Whether you like it or not, it is impossible to change your partner; he is already an adult, mature person, with his own life principles and experience, which he consciously carries through life. But the power of conversation should not be underestimated. As soon as the man hears requests and sincere repentance, the conflict will be resolved.

Long separation

Another main reason why most long distance couples fight. In order to avoid such a fate, it is necessary to regularly call each other, at least via video call, if it is not possible to see each other in person.

Important! Psychologists advise coming up with certain rituals and traditions that have the extraordinary power to bring each other closer together. This will make you feel better and strengthen the union between two loving people. Such a ritual can include obligatory wishes to each other good night or good morning, drinking tea together and discussing plans for the future. Statistically, couples who frequently discuss their immediate and long-term plans have stronger relationships than those who consider it a waste of time.

Psychological problems

Unfortunately, only a psychologist can eliminate them. In this case, it will also not be superfluous to talk with your partner.

Life experiences of immediate family

As a rule, in a long-distance relationship, partners pay attention to the example of relationships between relatives, acquaintances, and parents. If in a specific situation in the family or among friends, someone can “mess up” and change, it is quite possible that thoughts about repeating this scenario are allowed.

Once you have established the cause of a quarrel in a long-distance relationship, you should immediately eliminate it. The most advantageous option would be to come or surprise you with a sincere apology for your behavior.

However, you should not rush to establish a connection. You need to carefully consider whether you need a relationship in which mistrust and difficulties caused by your partner’s jealousy creep in.

Best words and phrases of reconciliation: list

Oddly enough, there are words that can melt away grievances. Psychologists say that if you use kind words during a quarrel (cat, little bunny, little fox), then the quarrel will subside over time by itself. But insults only make scandals worse.

Some phrases that can extinguish the fire of emotions of loving hearts during proceedings:

  • It's just funny - we love each other, all couples fight, let's start again.
  • I feel bad without you!
  • If I were naked, you wouldn’t argue with me like that...
  • Let's make peace... before we forget what we quarreled about
  • I feel very bad when we quarrel.

What to write to a guy to make peace

Many experts on this issue emphasize that making peace and arguing via SMS is wrong and unacceptable. But if there is no other option, then you should work with what you have. What SMS should I write if he doesn’t want to talk?

Poem . It is best to come up with some verse of your own composition. But if nothing comes to mind, you can use the Internet and remake it to suit your relationship.

Apology picture . Find a suitable image and send it to your boyfriend with sincere words of repentance. This will help melt his heart and remember that there is an indivisible connection between you, which should still bring only positive emotions to each other, and not offend anyone.

Declaration of love . This is more captivating than ever. If you write words of love and add a picture to the topic, then, for sure, a man’s heart will melt, and he will be able to communicate as before.

General photo in SMS . This is another little trick to dispel a guy’s pride and give him the necessary dose of memories. It is advisable to insert a photo in which you are both happy - this could be your vacation or some important date.

If the quarrel has dragged on, you can issue an apology in the form of the following message:

“Vitya, forgive me for this stupid and unpleasant situation. I was very offended when I heard your words...because of this, I said a lot of nasty things. Let's remember how much good things happened between us. How we met and spent time together. I really miss your warmth and affection. You are the best man for me. Let's draw conclusions and continue our relationship?

You shouldn’t be banal and send a picture with a disgruntled animal crying. The guy will start to get angry or mock you, the situation will get worse. Also, psychologists do not recommend sorting things out over the phone. Out of 100 cases, 90 did not lead to a positive outcome. It is possible to make peace with a guy by correspondence, but still, you should give preference to a meeting where physical contact is possible - hugs and kisses, as well as the opportunity to look into each other's eyes.

How to get your ex back: 5 steps behind, what's next?

First, praise yourself. After all, you have successfully passed this path, although it was not easy. If all the steps have been consistently completed and at least a month has passed since the breakup, it means that the necessary positive energy for the “return attraction” of your loved one into your life has already accumulated.

And, for sure, your ex-partner is already wondering how you are doing without him. Now is the perfect moment to take action.

Just one SMS or your call with an offer to sit over a cup of coffee is enough for him to readily agree. And your positive vibrations and vibes, attractiveness, energy and good mood will do the rest of the work for you, completely unnoticed by your partner.

He will look at you with different eyes and see a completely different woman - not at all the one from whom he so recently wanted to escape. He will be surprised at how pleasant and comfortable it is to be with you again, and feel how much he missed that energy of love that again forms an invisible connection between you.

Who in their right mind is capable of rejecting SUCH a woman? I think the answer is obvious!

Always remember that men can love you only as much as you love and value yourself. And if you suspect that you have problems with self-esteem and self-love, don’t wait for others to confirm it.

Come to the marathon “I’m Alone” and fall in love with yourself again, discovering new beautiful facets of your personality >>>

And even when the operation called “How to get your ex back” is completed, remember that you need to constantly work on maintaining a positive energy connection: only this will help keep your loved one forever. Work regularly and systematically on yourself and your relationships, be happy and loved!

How to make peace with a guy if he is to blame

Of course, if the guy is to blame for the quarrel, it is logical to expect his apology and admission of guilt. But, if the other half does not strive to improve relations, it is worth thinking about resolving the conflict with the first. There are a few ways a guy won't even realize you've made the first move. A competent reconciliation scheme will eliminate the possibility of humiliation and imposition.

Showing admiration for a man

Even if you are in a quarrel, most likely the guy is waiting for a word of approval and praise, which he needs now like air. In order for this not to look like flattery, it is recommended to express gratitude from the heart, bringing out his best qualities. For example, “Sasha, you are so attentive! He took out the trash and made sure our house was clean.”

Showcase your strengths

The girl needs to simulate a situation in a quarrel when a man can show his masculine strength. This will serve as the first step towards reconciliation and will allow you to reach a new level of relations.

Feeling of gratitude

The ideal option would be to make a collage with your own hands with your photos. This will evoke certain feelings and the man will be moved.

If experimenting with these methods does not work, it is necessary to bring the other half to a sincere and sincere conversation, to note your part of the blame in the quarrel. However, you shouldn’t go too far and be intrusive - you can achieve the opposite effect (the guy will hate you).

In order to understand how to act correctly if he is wrong, you need to refer to the sign of the zodiac ring:

  • Aries is the most vulnerable and cunning sign that claims excessive attention. In order to make peace with this representative, you need to pay compliments and ignore the barbs addressed to you.
  • Taurus – does not tolerate bad treatment, cares about the stability of the mental state. In order to take the right first step, it is necessary to give him freedom of choice and give him time to breathe. Perhaps after this he will initiate reconciliation.
  • Gemini is a contradictory sign that loves everything connected with it. When taking initiative, communication should be built competently, guided by memories and common sense.
  • Cancer is a touchy sign that don’t feed with bread, let it be offended. A delicious dinner and beautiful lingerie on his woman can serve as forgiveness.
  • Leo is a selfish sign. Astrologers recommend using compliments.
  • Virgos are characterized by a cold mind. Kisses and hugs are acceptable as apologies.
  • Libra is, according to experts, a quick-witted representative of the zodiac ring. It is recommended to simply express words of apology.
  • Scorpio - it is important to be able to listen to him and draw correct and effective conclusions.
  • Sagittarius – an affectionate SMS or a general photo and Sagittarius’ forgiveness in your pocket.
  • Capricorn is also stubborn. In order to earn forgiveness, you must try. They love sincerity and praise.
  • Aquarius - an unusual gift or surprise and Aquarius at your feet.

About the main mistakes

Psychologists have identified several common mistakes that every couple makes. To prevent them, you must adhere to the following recommendations:

  1. Avoid obsession, emotional outbursts and the desire to change your partner.
  2. Respect the opinion, position and decision of your loved one. During a scandal, this is almost impossible to do, but you need to pull yourself together.
  3. Don't talk about problems to friends and family. In such situations, they begin to give advice. Their opinion is biased, so the relationship can completely deteriorate. They may also form a negative opinion about the chosen one.
  4. Don't manipulate. Men do not tolerate pity and women's tears, so manipulation on the part of a girl can aggravate the situation.
  5. Treat your loved one with warmth and tenderness. Unwavering coldness can show him indifference.

In any situation, a girl should approach problems philosophically. Quarrels and scandals are an integral part of any relationship. To avoid misunderstandings, you need to listen to the advice of conflict prevention experts.

What should I do if I'm at fault?

When a girl is to blame, the guy expects an apology from her. In order to resolve the conflict, it is necessary to arrange a romantic meeting. During a delicious dinner, admit your own mistakes and subtly express your point of view. Some girls make a number of mistakes when the blame for the quarrel lies with them.

Psychology experts recommend being proactive. If the fault really lies with you, you need to admit it. Call, meet, make it clear that your man is very dear, as is your relationship with him. You shouldn’t concentrate on little things and tease – this will only drive your partner into depression. You can offend a guy even with caustic remarks.

Be sure to pay attention not only to the external signs in the guy’s behavior, but also to his internal state.

Should a girl write or call first after a quarrel?

The main question that torments any girl after a quarrel with a young man is whether she should write or call him first? Will this be normal or is it not customary for a girl to take her first steps? Very often, the reason that even the strongest relationships cannot be restored is simple human pride. Moreover, most often it is unnecessary. If a relationship with this guy is dear to a girl, she should throw away all her prejudices and call the young man first. This will let the guy know that his girlfriend is still thinking about him, thinking about relationships and reconciliation. It is not necessary to start the conversation by immediately finding out the reasons for the quarrel - you can start with a neutral topic: find out how the guy is doing and his health, whether he has solved any of his recent problems. And gradually you can turn the conversation to the topic of the fact that you regret that quarrel, that you need to give each other a chance and try to get everything back.

To summarize, we can say: if a girl is ready to fight for the relationship and wants to continue it, she should and can call first, putting aside her fears, because sometimes a man is much more afraid than you. Prejudices and fears are not worth losing someone dear to you forever.

How to make peace with a guy after a breakup

Before you make peace with your ex-boyfriend, you need to decide whether it’s worth stepping into the same river twice. If the answer is yes, you should talk frankly with your partner - does it make sense to rebuild relationships and family? This is a very important issue that can only be discussed together. It is important to avoid mistakes and betrayals in the future. Relive this experience together and start everything from scratch!

Remember that no techniques from famous psychologists will help if the partner’s personal boundaries are violated and there is no trust in the relationship. You should understand your own doubts and inner world and only then build a harmonious relationship with a man and live together. All the problems that we see in a partner are a reflection of our own personal conflicts.

Men and women perceive quarrels differently

The strong half of humanity is characterized by a logical type of thinking. In the heat of a quarrel, they give arguments to prove their point of view. For a man, a dispute has 2 goals - to solve a problem or to prove he is right. Women are guided by emotions, which does not always lead to positive consequences.

There are individuals for whom conflict is a way of obtaining energy, emotional release, or replacing some need, for example, sexual.

If a showdown turns into psychotherapy, where a woman has long educational conversations, the man produces the hormone prolactin, which affects potency.

When conflicts become part of life, it's time to think about what is behind them. Often this is a consequence of old grievances, fatigue, some claims or lack of love in a couple.

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