Psychology of relationships between a guy and a girl, what is it?

Every woman has great potential

When a guy starts dating a girl, that is, he enters into a relationship with her, then you immediately need to understand that any girl has very great potential, which the guy has to develop .

She sits on a chest of gold

Because a woman is always a creature who sits on a big chest of gold and does not know that it is a chest of gold.

This applies not only to the bed, but also to the relationship between you and her attitude to the world..

This will be reflected in your comfort with each other, how cool you are, and everything else about the two of you and more.

Most men don't know why they need to date

There is a huge aspect of ignorance on the part of men who think that women are such dull creatures, too emotional, too incomprehensible.

Society imposes on men that they must date, that they must build relationships.

Most men go through life blindly and do not know what an ideal relationship between a guy and a girl should be like. They go through life simply guided by what seems to be necessary, but why is completely unclear.

How to build a relationship that you both will like? What should you pay attention to in your partner’s psychology so that everything goes well with you?

What kind of relationships are there?

We all understand what a relationship between a guy and a girl is. Each person had their own unique experience.

You also need to understand that there are two types of relationships:

Polygamous. This is an open relationship. Polygamy is a very poorly common type of relationship.
Exclusive (monogamous) . The majority are in exclusive relationships; this is when there is a girl and a guy 1 on 1.

Only you decide which choice to make between them

What choice to make is only your priority and your choice .

Only you can decide what kind of relationship you want. Both relationships have their pitfalls.

It turns out that many people fall into exclusive relationships unconsciously .

Polygamous relationships are more a matter of choice.

In what cases does polygamy occur?

First of all, it is the guy’s understanding of how much he needs other girls besides the main one.

Polygamous relationships also occur in cases:

When a guy doesn't have a main girlfriend.
When a man leads a free lifestyle and he simply loves freedom.

I'm talking about polygamous relationships, which are still a choice . That is, a man has relationships with girls after intimacy, and he has several of them.

If you like a classmate

What does it mean to date a girl 14 years old or younger? The specifics of the chosen one’s age do not yet imply active romantic actions on the part of the companion. A teenage girl wants to feel like an adult, but physiologically she is not yet ready for intimacy and will diligently avoid any form of intimate caresses (except kissing).

If a boy is the same age as a girl, there are no big difficulties in maintaining a certain distance. The main thing for young people is not to be led by curiosity and not to try to completely copy the behavior of older couples. There are many other interesting aspects in adult life that are worthy of emulation, such as the ability to trust each other or be faithful.

Be honest with your partner and yourself, mistakes

First of all, a man must have experience in an exclusive relationship before building a polygamous one!

Big mistakes many guys who are trying to build a polygamous relationship:

Many guys, guided by well-known articles, videos and all sorts of things from the Internet about polygamy, may decide that this is supposedly exactly what they need. Here you need to understand the difference between whether the guy really decides this for himself and understands why he is moving in this direction. Or it happens on a whim, because he thought it was cool - although this is absolutely not his opinion and not his desire.
If a guy is not honest with himself and not honest with a girl , lies, hides the truth, the girl begins to feel it.
From here, the main girl who you like most begins to leave you . And she doesn’t even leave because you are like that. She leaves because of lies.

A man can experience a lot of pain by lining everything up incorrectly.

Girls are generally able to accept the polygamous nature of men . One way or another, everyone has it. But in men it is more pronounced, and this belief in society plays into the hands of men.

If there is an outright lie and hiding other girls , the girl will leave precisely because of the lies, and not because you want a polygamous relationship and are trying to build it.

Therefore, it is very important to approach this intelligently and build polygamy consciously.

Otherwise, you yourself will end up with a lot of pain and internal worries if this does not happen.

There really is a benefit

First, let's talk about the advantages of a girl dating two men. There are indeed positive aspects, and here are the main ones:

A girl can receive twice as many gifts if both partners are generous. Often, “relationships on two fronts” arise precisely because a beautiful lady does not dare to refuse gentlemen who shower her with expensive gifts and take her to respectable establishments.
If a girl cannot choose between two chosen ones and the guys know about this, then this situation can fuel jealousy in them, and frantic males will woo the lady of their heart in their favorite ways. Everything will be as passionate and romantic as possible, and the girl will sweetly languish in the rays of attention and flattery. However, there is a downside, which will be discussed a little later.
If Mademoiselle is not in love, but both guys evoke deep sympathy in her, then she can enjoy them alternately, without choosing between the “good guy with blue eyes” and the “good guy with green eyes.”

This approach to the situation is selfish, but it also often takes place, because if a beauty does not have clear moral and ethical ideas about relationships, then why not meet two men until true love meets?
A girl can increase her self-esteem through a polygamous relationship. An ambiguous method, but if a representative of the fairer sex is worried about her appearance or figure, then two passionately in love admirers will help her prove to herself that she is the most beautiful and desirable.

How can a guy position himself correctly for polygamy?

Be honest with yourself and with the girl.

Tell her right away that you don't want an exclusive relationship.

Tell her about the friends you're dating.

Say that you also like her and you don’t know what will happen next.

Let her understand this completely and open up to her from the beginning.

So a man gives a girl a choice: either she takes it completely, or leaves.

She understands everything.

What does it mean to ask a girl out and how to do it?

First, the young man should make sure that his sympathy for the girl is dictated by stronger impulses than friendship. Strong physical attraction, not associated with high feelings, and the excitement of competition for the heart of a “popular” girl can be mistaken for love experiences. Having ruled out the possibility of an erroneous perception of the situation, all that remains is to act:

We need to find out what the chances are that the girl will respond positively to the proposal. To do this, you need to compare all available information about her interests and prepare a plan for further action, taking into account all the information collected.
The way to propose to your chosen one to be together does not have to be original and certainly not public. The young man should remember that this is not a request to marry him and unnecessary pomp can only confuse the girl.
Having made a decision, you should act quickly, and not walk around your friend, bewildering her with your hints.

Of course, it may also happen that the girl’s plans do not include a serious relationship, or her heart is already taken. In this case, you should not dwell on failure and devote more time to self-realization. Also, what does it mean to start dating a girl?

Initial stage in pairs

A guy meets a girl he likes, there is reciprocity on both sides and they are cool.

How can a guy let a girl know that it would be nice to go deeper into the relationship:

If everything goes smoothly and perfectly for you, there is attraction, you automatically fall into a relationship . Often, a guy doesn’t need to do anything extra special in such cases. The girl has a toggle switch in her head that he is a potential boyfriend for her and, last but not least, a lover. Often you don't have to do anything special.
If, however, the relationship between a guy and a girl somehow doesn’t work out , or the guy is not entirely sincere in his intentions, then the guy should talk about his feelings. A man should say that he enjoys being with a woman and would like to spend more time with her. A man does not need to talk about some kind of unearthly love, it is enough to say that he is pleased and would like to continue.

If everything works out and she understands, then you are in a relationship.

Usually you fall into them automatically, and she herself will make it clear by verbal and non-verbal signs.

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For older guys

What does it mean to date a girl of high school or college age? It is important for older girls to see next to them not so much a “popular” as a meaningful young man with prospects.

A sense of humor and the ability to be yourself under any circumstances will help a guy focus attention on himself. Any attempts by a guy to attribute unusual qualities to himself or to create the illusion of a more successful person around himself are obviously doomed to failure and will only prevent him from capturing the heart of the desired person.

In addition to working on oneself (improving the ability to conduct a conversation and forming a decent external image), a young man should also think about the need to have personal funds. Not too often, but from time to time you will need to take your friend to the cinema or cafeteria and please her with small gifts.

If a young man is still in school and does not have the opportunity to earn extra money, he can talk to his parents and ask them to allocate money for personal expenses. It is quite possible for a student to get a job with an hourly wage and thereby prove, first of all, to himself that he is ready for an independent life.

It's normal for a girl to take steps towards him

A girl can take small steps towards herself on her own.

It's normal for a woman to invest in a relationship with a man . There is nothing unnatural here at all and this is how the relationship between a guy and a girl should develop.

There is no need to clutter your brains.

A man doesn’t always have to have the “ I’m a leader ” type of thinking.

Here you can completely let go of something and give the girl the opportunity to take the initiative.

I’m not talking about the prize model that supposedly a man should attract a woman’s attention.

I’m saying that a man is also a busy person and has his own things to do, and it’s normal for a girl to show attention to a man.

What does a woman want?

You don’t need to conduct a survey to find out what girls expect from a man. Ask any lady how to win a woman, and she will give you an approximate list of the most attractive qualities for the majority of the fair sex:

pleasant appearance,
ability to carry on a conversation,
desire to earn money,
politeness and gallantry,
good sense of humour,
patience for women's whims,
tirelessness in bed.

“Such a huge list, I went...”, you will say and you will be right, but only partly. We all strive for the ideal, but we fall in love with flawed people, with all their pros and cons. Therefore, it may not be worth taking the generally accepted requirements of girls too seriously, but it is quite possible to learn something from them for yourself. Let us generalize and draw a conclusion from women’s claims regarding the candidacy of a real man:

Mutual care is the basis of healthy relationships. Women love it when they are treated like a treasure: they take care of their health, pamper them, look after them and support them. Such behavior on the part of a man significantly increases the chance of success in the further development of the relationship. A girl who is treated this way will reciprocate in 90% of cases. And you yourself will feel like a real gentleman, the master of the situation and a kind of benefactor. Your lady's grateful eyes will say a lot.
No to rude people, yes to respect in a couple! You may not be a prince on a white horse and you will never become one, but you simply must show respect, restrain aggression and not be rude. This is one of the most important requirements for men, which must be strictly observed. Do you want to create a harmonious couple?
Sloths are not particularly successful with women. Many young people dream of marrying an oligarch. But in reality, they are looking for at least those men whom they can rely on in difficult times. Think for yourself how many worries the average woman takes on: comfort in the home and cooking, caring for children and husband, and almost everyone works! I really don’t want to take on the burden of supporting an adult capable man. That's why ladies choose hard-working guys with the desire to get ahead.

These are the key points that girls pay attention to when choosing a partner. Of course, there is love at first sight, when ladies lose their heads over a handsome man without a king in his head

But relationships based on momentary sympathy are unlikely to last long. Therefore, develop in the right directions and you will be successful with any girl.

To live together or not to live: advantages and disadvantages

When you have been dating for some time, the question arises: “Should you live together or not?”

Let's first remove questions about money, about a place to live, who will move to whom.

When you start living together , you need to say 2 important things:

You spend more time together and begin to depend on household factors . You need to understand that when you live together, relationships begin to develop differently.
There must be an understanding that the candy bouquet period will pass for you . The chemistry and psychology of the relationship between a guy and a girl changes, an eerie mutual love passes at some point. According to various studies, this happens from 3 months to 2 years, and you will have to move to some other plane.

Alexander, 29 years old. Not too worried about his girlfriend having a child.

I will be 30 next month and am currently dating a woman who has two children from a previous marriage. I don't really like children, especially small ones, but the fact that she has a family doesn't bother me much. We have been dating for a short time, so there is no talk of a serious relationship yet, but my girlfriend has made it clear that she does not want to have more children, which suits me quite well.

I can’t say that I am an infantile young man who is not able to bear responsibility, but I don’t really see myself in the role of a father either. I understand that you will have to get used to all this, but we are doing everything gradually to make it comfortable.

In general, at 30 years old it is quite difficult to find a partner who does not have a marriage and children behind him, so I look at things soberly and accept them as they are.

Living together means less freedom

If you start living together, this is primarily a disadvantage.

All the shortcomings

What disadvantages can be identified if you started living together:

This is especially a disadvantage if a serious relationship between young people occurs for the first time. You start looking for an apartment, find and arrange your things and begin to get used to each other.
Everyone is used to different things and their own order . This can be such a painful process. Girls, as a rule, are more tidy, and men begin to scatter their things somewhere. Some kind of confrontation may begin here.
First of all, this is the aspect of freedom . It will inevitably seem to both of you that somehow there is less living space. Especially if you lived alone before, there will be a clear problem of personal space. If it’s completely unbearable, then this can become a stumbling block for both of you.

Literally from the first days the question may arise: To live or not to live further?

But behind such a veil of love, everyone can forget about it , when in the first months of a relationship most of the time is spent in bed.

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In other languages:

English: Get a Girl to Like You when She Has a Boyfriend, Español: enamorar a una chica que tiene novio, Italiano: Conquistare una Ragazza già Impegnata, Português: Conquistar uma Garota Comprometida, Deutsch: Ein Mädchen erobern das schon einen Freund hat, Français: conquérir une fille qui a déjà un petit ami, 中文: 让有男朋友的女孩喜欢你, Čeština: Jak se zalíbit dívce, která má partnera, Bahasa Indonesia: Mendapatkan Gadis untuk Menyukai And a Saat Dia Punya Pacar, Nederlands: Een meisje dat bezet is verleiden, Tiếng Việt: Khiến một cô gái thích bạn dù cô ấy đã có bạn trai, ไทย: จีบผู้หญิงท By the way ها مرتبطة, 日本語: 彼氏がいる女子に好きになってもらう

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Greater mutual understanding: what is it eaten with?

Greater mutual understanding is, of course, an advantage in the first place.

What are the advantages of relationships in terms of mutual understanding?:

It's cool that there is a person nearby for whom you have good, sincere feelings.
If you can find common activities, then you will live in a completely different flow . It will be more general for you. From there you can find the interior space for yourself. There will be an understanding that the person next to you is growing and smelling.
You will have a moment of such spiritual intimacy if you find a partner with whom you are simply interested. Your human understanding will grow.
Over time, you learn to understand each other perfectly . This is a definite plus for relationships.

But, on the other hand, there will be difficulties in terms of mental adjustment. Because a person’s value system may not be entirely compatible with yours.

Ivan, 23 years old. I tried to become a husband for a girl and a father for her son.

When I was 18 years old, I met a wonderful girl, but our relationship was not successful. We decided we needed a break and that break lasted 4 years. We both had been living our own lives for a long time, but one day we crossed paths again, and I realized that I wanted to be with her again, but only now she had a 7-month-old child in her arms - a boy whose father had run away.

I decided that despite the obvious difficulties and the fact that I was only 22 and simply not ready to become a father, this relationship was worth renewing in a new format.

We could not meet as is customary for single couples. Planning leisure time together has become very difficult. There was no privacy, and my girlfriend made it clear to me that her child would always come first. Soon the father of the child appeared in our lives, and a serious drama unfolded. He wanted to see his son, he was even going to help my girlfriend financially, and, oddly enough, she didn’t mind. So I constantly felt pressure from him. He ignored my presence, wanted to be with her again, and I knew: he was somewhere nearby, he could come whenever he wanted, he would compete with me.

In addition to problems with my ex, I was faced with the fact that even someone else’s child can become seriously attached.

I began to fear that if we separated again, it would be hard for me. The situation was too obvious: I was standing in the way of family happiness, and my friends were condemning me. But the funny thing is that a spark ran between me and this girl, and I began to experience feelings. We felt comfortable and easy together, but I didn’t want to cause trouble for her and her child.

Naturally, we broke up, but I realized that this relationship gave me invaluable experience: I believe that I can cope with fatherhood, and that my child will definitely be in good hands.

How to solve all the grindings

If there is something you can't put up with about your partner, it might be worth thinking about what that person has to put up with about you in order for things to go smoothly and more comfortably for you.

If you cannot accept a person for who he is at least at the first stage, then, of course, you will immediately ruin the relationship, and there will be many problems.

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An article about how a guy can hug a girl correctly - the meaning of hugs.

Be unusual

Maybe I will surprise you, but women are not always attracted to guys who are no different from each other. To start a relationship with a hot girl, you have to be unusual. And right now you will ask me “how can I be unique, Leon?” Don't worry, you already have it in you. The options are varied: maybe you write memoirs of adult film stars, you do powerlifting, you like to read the classics, you lived in New Zealand, you worked on an organic farm.

In any case, this should be used. You shouldn’t talk about this all the time, but you need to be able to drop a word in time to interest your interlocutor. If you are still ordinary, it is time to change.

How to arrange everything so that both are comfortable

First of all, we need to pay attention to such a thing as personal freedom . Usually this joint comes from girls.

Let your partner know that you have activities that he cannot attend.

When a relationship between a guy and a girl begins, or you live together, the guy needs to let her know that you have activities in which she is not and cannot be present .

This should be done not in an ultimatum form, but from the point of view that this is normal, natural.

Let your partner understand that you cannot be with each other online 24 hours.

Being constantly connected isn't always super cool

There are couples who are in touch 24 hours.

Very quickly, as a rule, they run out of everything.

That is, they sit with each other on Skype, constant correspondence, calls, SMS. Plus, they spend time together at home.

As a result, they are faced with what is “bored” ! There is such a crisis in the relationship between a girl and a guy when they are no longer particularly comfortable together.

Give up clinging and fear of loss

Therefore, everyone must have a certain number of activities, in which there may not be a partner .

Here we need to discard the unhealthy feeling of egoism like “she’s mine” or “he’s mine.” You can read more about the ego and how to get rid of its influence in another section.

You can do the things you like and devote a certain amount of time to it.

Let your loved one know that this is completely normal..

Then you will save yourself and your loved one from the discomfort caused by spending time together all 24 hours.

First date

When inviting a girl to a meeting, it is advisable to avoid this very word – “date”, otherwise the beauty may become tense. Invite her to take a walk together, ride a bike, or drink coffee.

where to go

Choose a place where you can communicate calmly and easily. Recently, interactive games, various quests, and intellectual quizzes have become very popular - you can take a girl there.

Assess your capabilities soberly. You don’t need to take a girl to an expensive, pretentious restaurant and spend half your salary there to impress. But the shawarma shop “At Arsen’s” won’t do either. The space should be cozy, simple and stylish.

Under no circumstances invite a girl to your home for a first date. She will decide that you considered her easily accessible and your intentions are frivolous.

How to dress

Appearance plays an important role on a first date. You don't need to dress up too much, otherwise you risk looking comical. A shirt and jeans are a good option. Naturally, all clothes must be washed and thoroughly ironed. This also applies to underwear.

Don't forget to put yourself in order, too. Eau de toilette, fashionable haircut, everything. You must like yourself and exude confidence.

What to talk about

There is no need to strain yourself to come up with topics for conversation; let the dialogue arise on its own. Show sincere interest in the girl, and focus less on impressing her. If you are afraid of awkward silence, invite the girl to a place where conversations can be diluted with joint activities.

You can go to a master class on cooking some delicious food, play ping-pong or billiards - a place where you need to do more than talk.

Too personal and intimate topics are taboo on the first date. Financial issues too. Don’t ask a girl how much she earns or if her car was bought on credit - this is tactless.

If you have common hobbies and interests, it will be much easier for you to connect. Start discussing them, and the conversation will start on its own.

Here is a useful video on this topic.

What to do after

Be sure to walk your chosen one home after the date! Even if you have to go to the other end of the city. If the girl refuses, call her a taxi and check how she got there. Such unburdensome care captivates.

Don't forget to thank the beauty for the evening and hope to see you soon. You can do this at the end of the date or afterward by writing her a message.