How to make peace with a girl: TOP 10 proven methods

When there is a quarrel with a girl, the guy always finds himself in a difficult position. Firstly, during a scandal, you should not scream or resort to assault, since these are not masculine methods of talking to a woman. Secondly, it is unknown how to behave after what happened: should you be the first to make peace or show your iron character and wait for her to come?

But what if her resentment does not go away and she refuses to communicate and does not make contact - is it worth insisting on continuing the relationship? Indeed, it is difficult to resolve the conflict in such a way as not to lose your dignity and save love. But there are no hopeless situations, and psychology comes to the rescue in such cases.

After a strong quarrel

Strong grievances and quarrels often lead to separation in a couple. To make peace with a girl after such a scandal, you will have to make a lot of effort, especially if she does not want a conversation or meeting.

The algorithm of actions may be as follows:

Analyze the situation. Remember the reason for the quarrel, your behavior and hers.
Admit the mistakes you made, rude phrases that should not have been uttered.
Choose a time to have an honest conversation. It is better to schedule a meeting for 2-3 days after the quarrel.
It doesn’t matter which of you is to blame, go for reconciliation first.
Ask for forgiveness for mistakes made, rudeness, rudeness.
Discuss the reason for the quarrel.
If possible, point out to the girl her mistakes in conversation or behavior.
Listen to your significant other's point of view. At this moment it is better to remain silent, let her speak out and support her with the words: “I understand that you are angry; I understand you” and so on.
At the end of the conversation, take her hand, remember the romantic moments that are important to your couple. Promise not to quarrel anymore.
After the conversation, tell her that you are going to leave, you don’t want to take up her time. If a girl decides to forgive, she will try to detain you. If she doesn’t stop and lets her leave, then she needs more time to make the right decision.

How to apologize to a girl via SMS

Express your feelings in person, but if this is not possible, you can send a touching message. Write to the girl:

Romantic poem. Do not copy from the Internet. Let it be awkward, but written with your own hand. Any representative of the fair sex will appreciate such a manifestation of grief.
Prose. Choose your words carefully, because any woman will feel false.
Traditional words of apology.

How to apologize to a girl depends on the degree of offense and the cause of the conflict. Consider the character of your loved one and her preferences. Find the key to your chosen one’s heart, give flowers and convince her of your sincere regrets. The girl will gladly forgive you. Relationships will become stronger.

Original article: https://www.nur.kz/family/relationship/1554170-kak-pomiritsya-s-devushkoy-posle-ssory/

If she doesn't want to talk

If a girl doesn’t want to talk and is very offended, it won’t be possible to make peace quickly and easily. In this case, follow the advice of psychologists:

Do not rush to make amends immediately after a quarrel. Emotions are raging, a woman’s feelings are hurt, let her breathe out and cool down.
After a couple of days, gently remind yourself. Do this through a pleasant SMS with wishes of good morning, good night. Do not insist on a conversation or meeting.
Send the girl flowers, a nice gift using a courier.
Try to arrange a meeting on neutral territory. Her agreement is a good sign.
Don't start the conversation by talking about a past fight. Show your beloved that you missed her, try to get a hug or a kiss.
When she thaws a little, ask for forgiveness for the offense. When the relationship is tense to the limit, the girl is ready to take extreme measures and break up with the guy, the main thing is not to rush. And refusing dialogue and meeting to talk is a reason for panic. In this case, you need to act carefully.

Getting ready to return the relationship

Establishing relationships after a breakup is much more difficult, since there is a distance between partners that moves them away from each other. Psychologists name several main points, thanks to which you can radically change the situation, and ultimately return your ex-girlfriend and your relationship with her to the right direction. A man is required to follow all recommendations step by step and be ready for actions, words and deeds.

Analyze the situation

In the event that she does not want to talk after another quarrel or even a breakup, the man first needs to calm down, put his thought process and emotional state in order, and only after that analyze everything that happens between the partners. You need to ask yourself whether a man needs to return this relationship at all, why he needs a girl. Only sincere feelings, and not fear of condemnation or loneliness, should be the driving motive.

Find the reason for the breakup

There are many reasons why a girl chooses to end a relationship, such as if the man hit the girl, cheated on her, was rude or cheated. You can reveal the grievances and disappointments of your chosen one during a quarrel and showdown, or you can talk frankly with her, wanting to know your guilt. If a man is ready to change, eradicating such offenses in the future, there is a chance for the relationship to return.

Get ready for the meeting

You always need to act, even if she doesn’t want a relationship after a quarrel and breakup. A man will need to collect his thoughts, think through his speech, and also plan the possibility of meeting his beloved. The success of the dialogue also depends on the man’s external attractiveness and poise, self-confidence and competent speech. You need to express all your thoughts correctly; you can practice in front of a mirror in advance. When meeting, you need to speak briefly and clearly, allowing the girl to also speak out.

Do you often have to put up with girls?

Not really

Make contact

A breakup with the girl you love is possible; the man had a fight and greatly offended her. In this case, you need to find opportunities to establish contacts. You can visit the girl in a place where she often visits, for example, at school or work. To immediately put a girl in a positive direction, a man needs to present a small gift, for example, a bouquet of flowers, sweets, etc. To win her heart, you need to remember what character traits the man was able to hook her with, and then use them again.

Find the right words

Reconciling with an ex-girlfriend requires not only awareness of the problem, meeting and presenting a gift, but also competent and correctly composed speech. Girls love with their ears, so you need to choose sincere words in advance for her return. The main thing is that everything said is sincere from the heart, since girls are very sensitive and insightful, notes of falsehood and ingratiation will be recognized immediately.

Be sincere

The main key to success in trying to regain a relationship is the man’s sincerity, as well as competent speech. All words spoken should exude confidence and clarity of position, but at the same time be from the heart and soul. The key to reconciliation is communication. To win her over, you can say compliments, emphasizing her external attractiveness. It is better to start the conversation with an apology, admitting your mistakes and guarantees that this will not happen again.

If a girl doesn't want a relationship

The rules for gradually getting closer to a girl will be useful to you. Moreover, the stronger the quarrel, the longer the period of separation will be. While the relationship is calm, behave like this:

Don't pursue girls with offers to hang out and talk.
Do not spam information from messages and calls.
Consider the quarrel situation from all sides. Put yourself in the girl's shoes.
When your loved one cools down, this may even take several months, begin to gently remind yourself. First in correspondence, then by calls, “accidental meetings.”
Craft a speech for genuine conversation. It should be short, clear, without unnecessary snot. You can practice in front of a mirror.
Watch your appearance. Come to meetings neat and attractive. The girl must understand who she has lost.
Listen to your loved one’s claims, don’t argue.
After everyone has spoken, talk about something else, set your beloved up for the positive.
At the end of the date, find the right words that will help bring the relationship back. For example, confess your love, that you missed her very much, you often dream about her.

If the above points are completed, and the girl still remains inaccessible, avoids conversation, and does not agree to resume the relationship, do not despair. Determination and self-confidence are your main helpers. Try to reach her heart repeatedly if the feeling of love is alive in both.

What to gift?

After reconciliation, you need to do something nice for the girl! A gift is a good way to consolidate the effectiveness of a frank conversation and meeting if young people break up after a quarrel or serious misconduct. You can give a girl something inexpensive but pleasant, with the expectation that she may refuse to accept the gift out of resentment and pride. For example:

a bouquet of flowers or indoor flowers;
any sweets, be it chocolate, a box of chocolates, desserts;
a figurine or souvenir in a suitable theme;
ticket to the theatre, concert, cinema or museum;
jewelry with engraving or photo, for example, a bracelet, pendant.

If a man is sure that the girl is ready to make contact and reconciliation, and the gift will not be rejected, he can give an expensive piece of jewelry that more than one representative of the fair sex will not resist. Also, a great opportunity for reconciliation would be to purchase a ticket for a joint trip or resort.

After betrayal

Establishing relationships after betrayal is a complex and lengthy process. It is difficult for girls to forgive betrayal and trust a guy again. Here's how to apologize for cheating:

Don't expect the girl to forgive you right away.
Don't make excuses, admit the fact of betrayal.
Give your partner time to cool down.
If a girl doesn’t want to talk, record a video message or write a letter to VK.
Prove that you feel shame and guilt for the offense.
If you get a chance to continue the relationship, behave perfectly.

Often couples experience the fact of betrayal in a difficult and long way; girls constantly remember their loved one’s misdeeds and torment themselves and the guy. In this case, you will need the help of a family psychologist.

What needs to be done to get it back

There is a simple action plan that will help you avoid being scammed. You are unlikely to get a girl back if she doesn't want it. But by following this plan, you will do everything right and get the best quality result.

Be alone. At least a couple of weeks. Bring your feelings and thoughts into relative order, get over the breakup, think about everything.
Give yourself some attention. Devote these two weeks or more to activities that bring you joy. Enjoy life and freedom, do what you love, remember how bachelors live and why this lifestyle is also good.
Think about the reasons for the breakup. Where there was incompatibility, where patience ran out, where there was no way out. If we are talking about a girl who left you, think about what finally brought her down.
Contact her if after the first three points the desire to return everything to normal has not disappeared. Show a positive and light attitude when calling or texting, and talk about serious things when you meet.
Keep your face up when meeting. Act like you're going out for coffee with a friend—even if it's hard. Don't create drama. Show her the guy she fell in love with, not the guy she broke up with.
Continue seeing each other if you haven’t changed your mind even after the meeting. Follow your feelings - do you really need to return everything, or is it an obsession with an idea, or a hunter's instinct.
Lay out all the cards after a few irregular meetings. Tell them that you went through a breakup, came to conclusions, changed and still want to be together. Convince that you are working on yourself, that you have heard her words and are ready to change.
Having received consent, start working on the relationship to avoid previous mistakes and not make new ones. Talk about what is happening, gently criticize each other, and be patient.

If you hit

On forums and chats for men, the question is often discussed: “How can you quickly make peace with a girl if you hit her during a quarrel?” Of course, rudeness and aggression from the stronger sex are unacceptable. Assault hits a woman’s vanity hard, and it’s very difficult to forgive.

If you have made this fatal mistake, then bright manifestations of tenderness, care, affection, and demonstrations of love will help you make amends. But you definitely won’t be able to regain trust right away, so be patient.

Time cures

Instant apologies will still not be accepted, especially if you did something very bad in the girl's understanding
. When she learned the unpleasant truth. She will remain in a heated, excited state for a long time. And here it’s better not to touch it at all, give it time to cool down. Otherwise, you will have to apologize again and again, stumble upon the same mistakes and checks.

Predict the moment when her rage will be replaced by a simple cold attitude towards you. This is exactly the case when it is time to apologize.

After the breakup

Making peace with a girl after a breakup is very difficult. The main condition will be the reciprocity of the partner’s feelings, as well as the absence of strong grievances and betrayal in the couple. The main way to solve the problem and reunite again is to have an open conversation. Organize your conversation like this:

Find out how much distance has arisen between you as a result of separation.
Make sure that the feelings have not passed, the relationship is still needed.
Determine what was the reason for the separation. Identify and talk through all the grievances and disappointments so that there are no more disagreements in the relationship due to misunderstandings.
Establish contact with the girl, take her hand, hug her.
Be sincere, falsehood and flattery will be your enemies during a heart-to-heart conversation.
Promise that the new stage of the relationship will be better than the previous one.
Be grateful to the girl for the second chance. It is given to you so that you can restore trust and show your best side.

When the danger of a final break has passed, fasten the bond with your partner. Find a common hobby, visit a family psychologist, spend more time together, talk about small problems at once. The more points of contact you find, the stronger your love and marriage will be.

Try to make peace as soon as possible

You may feel tempted to have the last word or even punish your girlfriend by making her wait for your forgiveness, but this can make both of you unhappy not only in the moment, but also in the future.

“One of the best gifts you can give yourself and your partner is to restore connection and harmony between you as soon as possible, rather than allowing disagreements and arguments to drag on,” says practicing psychologist and Harvard lecturer Holly Parker, Ph.D., author Books "If We're Together, Why Do I Feel So Lonely?"

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“When we allow arguments to escalate, this is called the negative influence of reciprocity, we can destroy the happiness in the relationship. Therefore, strive to make peace before the conflict escalates,” she suggests.

If she's to blame

The opinion that girls are always right and it’s better not to argue with your significant other, it will backfire on the guy, is incorrect. It is for this reason that women often do not admit their mistakes, they get used to the fact that the man himself will come to her and ask for forgiveness, even without guilt. This position entails the following difficulties in relationships:

The girl does not adequately evaluate her behavior, so she continues to behave “badly” without thinking about her partner’s feelings.
A man with a self-centered woman feels uncomfortable, and his self-esteem gradually decreases.
Permissiveness leads to fatal actions that provoke final separation.

To prevent the listed difficulties from arising in your couple, teach your beloved to be aware of mistakes. You can improve your relationship with a girl in such a situation in this way:

Don't rush to apologize.
In a couple of days, when she realizes that you are offended, express your complaints clearly and clearly.
Talk through the situation in a calm environment.
Find a reason to apologize yourself, for a minor offense, a word spoken in a quarrel. This will make it easier for the girl to admit her guilt.
If she continues to stick to her line and doesn’t want to apologize or listen, take a break for 3-4 days. This time will be enough for the girl to think about her actions. After the break, we can have another serious conversation.

What you definitely can’t do in such a situation is humiliate yourself. If a girl does not admit her mistakes and does not want to do anything to save the relationship, think about whether you need such one-sided love.

How to behave and what to avoid

Under any circumstances, a man must remain a man. This truth, although truism, is still relevant. Don’t follow the lead and don’t allow yourself to be manipulated under the pretext of guilt.

Before you take action, take a break. Immediately after a quarrel, both partners are usually in an overexcited state and are unable to think sensibly. “Cool down” for a couple of days, and at the same time reflect on your relationship in order to prepare for a constructive dialogue.

While this pause lasts, try to refrain from some irrational actions.

Don’t “loom” in your girlfriend’s field of vision, don’t follow her yourself or through mutual friends, don’t impose yourself through calls or messages. If she doesn’t call you herself, leave her alone for a while, she also needs to think about the current situation.
Don't try to make someone jealous by flirting with other girls. This way you will not increase your “value”, but will only increase anger and irritation towards you.
Don't gossip behind her back, don't turn mutual friends against her, don't let strangers into your relationship.
Don't try to bribe her with expensive gifts. This will not affect the speed of reconciliation, and in some circumstances may not be appropriate at all.

By SMS

A personal meeting after a quarrel is not always the best method for restoring relationships if the woman is angry and does not want to talk to the offender. In this situation, telephones and SMS come to the aid of men. The following messages will help you make peace with a girl after a breakup, betrayal, or major scandal:

Romantic. These are sweet letters about what you miss, love, and dream of meeting.

Let mountain meet mountain, let all the seas merge into one, then we will part with you, but now you are only mine and I will not let you go anywhere.

Beautiful. Be sure to contain compliments and declarations of love.

What a pity that I can’t touch you with my hand, my unshaven cheek. I love you so much.

Funny. They should make the girl smile and lift her spirits.

And I am luckier than anyone in this world: every morning two suns shine for me - one in the sky, the second is you.

Work for results

You had a fight with a girl and want to fix everything. But what exactly are you hoping for in this fight? Get more confirmation of your emotions? Or maybe less misunderstandings when you make plans?

Whatever it is, think of a mutually beneficial goal you can achieve to avoid future conflict.

"Instead of burying your own needs or your partner's needs, trying to win or come out on top, you need to think about working together to find an outcome that satisfies both of you," Parker says.

There is no need to try your best to achieve what you want or unquestioningly agree with your friend’s position; try together to find a compromise that you both agree with.

In contact with

You should only make attempts to make peace with a girl online if she wants to forgive her offender. You need to find words that will help you forget about the scandal and remind you of the good. Express your feelings without hiding, give your loved one virtual gifts, like photos and write comments on them. Try using humor when reconciling.

If you want to be original, master Photoshop and make a collage of their photos together with captions. Post your finished picture for discussion among friends. Let them write what a beautiful couple you are. The opinions of others will definitely affect the girl’s mood and disposition.

After what time should you put up?

To think that the saying “Strike while the iron is hot” would work here! - a serious misconception. It is worth understanding that you both need time to reassess values and answer pressing questions. Start the relationship from scratch, while changing your handwriting.

The feeling of love and affection should not go out completely; always keep the fire burning within you. Time changes, but if feelings remain, you will be destined to get along with a loved one.

Rapprochement after a conflict should be gradual, careful and slow; it is better not to rush the course of events and wait for the most suitable opportunity. You cannot act aggressively: it is impossible to achieve reconciliation by force.

It will be useful to look at the situation “from the girl’s side”, understanding what exactly she wants to get. Actually, actions need to be taken based on what exactly happened between you. Everyday problems are one thing, but large-scale conflicts are completely different.

According to zodiac signs

You need to choose ways to reconcile with a girl after a quarrel taking into account her character. Characteristics of the zodiac sign by date of birth will help you predict how she will react to gifts and apologies.

Zodiac sign	How to make peace with a girl
Aries	Aries girls do not expect initiative from a guy if there is a major or minor quarrel. They will come first for investigations, and this makes life much easier for the guys. But you will have to give a bouquet of flowers, make a compliment and arrange a date.
Taurus	Taurus girls have an extremely difficult time with discord in relationships with guys and find it difficult to reach reconciliation. The guilty boy or husband will have to reassure his beloved of the sincerity of his feelings, back up his words with gifts and actions.
Twins	This is a sociable and open to conversation sign. But it is extremely difficult for Gemini girls to be the first to reconcile, so after a quarrel they expect action from the guys. Don't hesitate and quickly take the initiative into your own hands. After fasting, switch your loved one’s attention to something extraneous, it could be a theater, a movie, or going to a club.
Cancer	These are vulnerable women who are having a hard time experiencing a breakup or quarrel. They need to be given time to think and lick their wounds. One thing is for sure, getting a second chance with crayfish is hard.
a lion	After an argument, you will have to be creative and be as generous as possible. Buy a nice gift for the angry lioness and plan a mind-blowing date; empty promises will not be enough. But don’t be too happy if she accepts all advances favorably. Now your beloved will watch every step of her erring husband.
Virgo	Virgo women are distrustful, vulnerable, and have a hard time withstanding criticism, so they hold grudges for a long time. It is difficult to make peace with them, so it is better not to bring the situation to a critical point.
Scales	They are never the first to reconcile; they expect initiatives from guys, regardless of guilt. But they are very sensitive to apologies; they must be sincere and long.
Scorpion	Scorpios love gifts and going to restaurants. Come up with an original present and invite her on a date. Apologize loudly, for everyone to hear, you can even propose marriage.
Sagittarius	Sagittarians are helped to relax by a relaxed atmosphere, pleasant company, or a picnic in nature. Arrange a one-on-one meeting outside the city, drink a glass of wine, and the Sagittarius girl will be ready for the most serious conversation.
Capricorn	Intuition helps to establish relationships with Capricorns. Do not show jealousy or distrust of them, fulfill all your promises and be submissive to the extreme, then the offended wife will quickly cool down.
Aquarius	Aquarius girls behave loyally towards male misdeeds, but their patience runs out. After a quarrel, you will have to demonstrate love and have long, intimate conversations about a future together. But don’t even think about offering sex or even kisses to an offended Aquarius woman, this will offend them even more.
Fish	Pisces girls seem calm only at first glance. If a guy offends, they will quickly decide to break up and will not regret it. It is extremely difficult to beg forgiveness from fish. Try to find an approach to a touchy person in different ways: devotion in the eyes, gifts, serenades. The main thing is to show that you are submissive and can be relied upon in the future. But hurry up, otherwise you will quickly become an ex, since Pisces are popular with men.

Is reconciliation possible?

There are couples who quarrel, make up, break up and get back together. For them, quarrels and reconciliations are part of the relationship itself. Here we will not evaluate whether this is good or bad. But in such a situation, there is every chance of making peace if it was one of the ordinary quarrels.

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There are couples in which everything is calm, there are almost no conflicts, then separation can be caused by serious problems: betrayal, new love, strong resentment.

Before developing a reconciliation plan, you need to decide for yourself whether it is worth returning the girl. What caused your desire to make peace: love and the desire to be close or fear of loneliness and habit?

If you really love a girl and want to be with her, then do everything possible to rekindle the relationship. If it’s just a habit or you don’t care who you date, you shouldn’t get your former flame back. Let her find her happiness, because you really don’t really need her. And you just need to understand yourself before building a new relationship.

For reconciliation to be possible, both partners must want the relationship to continue. Yes, it may be difficult to realize the desire to be together at the time of a quarrel, but when the emotions subside, feelings and readiness for change should remain inside.

If the reason for the breakup was cheating, you hit the girl, insulted her, or one of you has a new love, resuming the relationship may be impossible.

You must reflect on the situation to realize:

Reasons for what happened.
Do you have a desire to make peace?
Are you willing to change to prevent this type of behavior in the future?

If the reason for the separation was serious, then this greatly alienated you from each other. Often in such cases, making peace is more difficult than simply starting a new relationship.

When there is only a desire to return to the same relationship, without the willingness to admit your mistakes and change, this is a dead-end path that will one way or another lead to the end of the relationship.

Psychologist's advice

Quarrels and scandals in psychology are not considered something unacceptable. On the contrary, in the process of a heated conversation, people are able to find the truth, even through tears, express claims against each other and come to a compromise. But after a quarrel, the time comes for reconciliation, and it should also be approached wisely. In this case, psychologists have prepared some tips for us:

Don't be humiliated. You need to beg for forgiveness only if there are feelings in the couple. Without love, it will never be possible to achieve mutual understanding.
Don't stalk your loved one. Don’t bombard her phone with messages, don’t wait after work or near her house. Obsession irritates girls and scares them. This behavior will only make the situation worse.
Don't gossip about your ex. Rumors will definitely reach the girl, and you will regret what you did.
Don't try to buy forgiveness. Gifts should come as an appendix to the apology, after the girl relaxes a little. And expecting forgiveness for giving a ring is an insult to your beloved.

Reconciliation after a quarrel, and the scandals and misunderstandings themselves are only small parts of the multifaceted relationships between men and women. But these troubles can lead to couples breaking up and people losing each other forever. Therefore, try not to quarrel, treat the feelings and views of your other half carefully and tolerantly. Then there will be less discord in your family.

Common causes of quarrels

There are no cloudless relationships - every couple is tested by conflicts. It is impossible to completely coincide with your partner’s desires, thoughts and moods, which is why disagreements occur. Psychologists have named the main reasons for discord in a romantic union:

Understatement. Restoring a relationship with a girl is always more difficult than maintaining it. It is important to immerse yourself in your partner’s problems, delve into the essence of what was said and talk to each other more often. People do not have the unique gift of reading other people's thoughts, so grievances and complaints need to be expressed in a gentle manner. If everyone lives in their own world, accumulating discontent, the emotional “time bomb” will definitely explode.
The influence of girlfriends and friends. It is better for a couple to build relationships according to their own scenario, without regard to those around them. Quarrels with a girl can be avoided if you do not act on the advice of friends. When going with them to a sports bar, it is better to warn your loved one about your absence. These are not signs of a henpecked man, but a respectful attitude towards a woman. Girlfriends are also able to give recommendations on “how to train a gentleman and methodically blow his mind.” Let them train on their partners - with this approach the girls will have a lot of them, since not a single normal man will stay around for long.
Inconsistency of actions. The road to the Garden of Eden is not paved with good intentions, so all actions must be discussed in advance with your partner. You don’t have to look for a way to improve your relationship with your loved one if you consult with her on important issues. A guy may, with the best of intentions, start cleaning an aquarium for which the woman has special water. Ignorance of the intricacies of the process will lead to disastrous consequences and quarrel.
No compromises. Decisions in a couple need to be made together, since restoring a relationship after a major disagreement can be difficult. The inability to make concessions will certainly lead to a breakup, so psychologists advise listening to your partner’s opinion.
Lack of support. There are often situations when a guy quarrels with a girl due to lack of understanding. Women complain or talk about problems in the hope of finding support from their loved ones. If he takes the side of the “enemy” or begins to criticize the actions of the chosen one, there is only one step left before a quarrel.

When a couple begins to live together, financial issues and issues related to order in the house are added to the problems. A woman is not a free housekeeper, so her work must be respected. Before making large purchases or spending money on leisure, it is advisable to discuss expenses with your loved one.

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