Rating: 4.7/5 (319)
Today we will talk about how to understand if your ex wants to get back with you. And, before jumping directly into our topic, I want to note: if the relationship was serious, and you were together for more than a month or two, then I can guarantee that she still misses you and still loves you. The question is, are these feelings enough to come back to you? And today we will try to understand this.
But I want to warn you: don’t overdo it!
You don't have to spend the rest of your life wondering if your ex-girlfriend will come back to you. Don't look for signs where there are none. It won't work, and it certainly won't help bring the relationship back. So, don't overanalyze the situation. A free test that will help you find out if she wants to renew the relationship and how interested she is in it.
Well, now let’s get down to the signs of whether your ex wants you back. Believe me, this is quite easy to understand.
Sign #1: She is the initiator of communication.
So, the first signal that will help you understand whether she wants to get you back is attempts to communicate, especially if she is constantly trying to remind you of herself.
Regular messages and calls are a reason to think that she wants to return to her previous relationship. If not even consciously, then subconsciously for sure. Of course, one call or message a month is not a reason to think so. But I can say with confidence that if your ex calls or writes very often and at the same time, you do not show any initiative, then this is a clear sign.
What is also important is how often she does it and in what way. If she calls you or often hangs around your house, then, of course, this is a more clear signal than just a message on Viber or on a social network. And, if your ex constantly reminds you of herself, listen to what you are saying.
What does it look like? To show they care about you and try to stay in your life? Or does all the talk boil down to unpaid bills or the boots she left with you? So pay attention to what you're saying and if it's caring, that's a pretty obvious sign.
A useful skill in a situation where your ex was the first to text you would be the ability to respond to her SMS correctly. I told you how to do it correctly in this article.
How to forget your girlfriend after a breakup? — Practical advice
To forget your ex-girlfriend, we will use two methods with you, alternating them with each other.
1) Sublimation method 2) Substitution method
Sublimation method
Sublimation is a way to relieve psychological stress by redistributing energy in a productive direction.
Those. you need to direct all the excess negative energy into some useful activity. Load yourself up to the maximum with your studies or work. It is advisable that you absorb new information, because our brain is incapable of learning something new and complex, and at the same time thinking about unsuccessful relationships. You can only think about one thing at a time. This method once helped me a lot, so I recommend it.
You can also sublimate energy into sports. Join the gym and leave all your anger and disappointment in the gym. Perhaps breaking up with your ex will be the starting point that will bring you more success than you expected.
Substitution method
At first it will be difficult for you to switch to another girl. The hormones in your brain believe that your ex is the best lady on earth, there will be no other like her. This is just a chemical reaction in the head that will soon pass. That’s why I wrote about the sublimation method first, so that your hormonal levels will calm down a little. And then we can move on to another step - replacement (or switching). Just switch to other girls, start dating them and you will be happy.
Once you seduce the cool girl you like, you won't remember your ex. There are practically no monogamous people among people. Therefore, we are able to fall in love more than once in our lives, but much more. Switching your attention to other girls helps a lot, but not right away. Because, again, I repeat, immediately after breaking up, other ladies will be uninteresting to you, but keep in mind the thought that this is a chemical (hormonal) reaction in the brain, and it will soon pass.
Conclusion: 1) It is always easier to start a new relationship than to restore an old one; 2) To get your ex-girlfriend back (who doesn’t want to date you), drastic internal changes must occur in you; 3) Don’t force yourself on your ex, always maintain your dignity and leave gracefully; 4) Sublimate negative energy into a productive channel and develop; 5) Chat with new girls and gain practical experience in seduction;
Sign No. 4: circle of acquaintances
About friends again.
If you have a common circle of acquaintances with her, and she constantly asks about you or talks about you often, then this is another positive sign. After all, this means that you are still not out of her head. And so much so that she talks about it with others. So if you heard about something like this from mutual friends, then pay attention to it.
Reasons why an ex-girlfriend might come back years later
Before burning bridges, guys prefer to find out whether their ex-girlfriend will return after a long relationship or not. Often hopes for a revival of relationships are dashed, and a considerable period passes before a person gets back on track.
After a certain time, life gets better, but then the woman decides to remind herself. To understand a woman’s logic, you need to determine the reason why she decided to return.
Fallback option
If a girl who has been in a relationship for a long time is sure that her partner is reliable, she can return to bring any plans to life. Often such women do not like partners, but simply need a reliable person in order to build a family. If you want to start a family, restoring the relationship will not be difficult.
Can't accept the fact that you're happy
The likelihood that an ex-girlfriend will return after a long relationship is high if the beloved was possessive. Such women appear as soon as the ex-boyfriend’s life gets better. If your ex decides to return, then the first thing to do is think about the reason. There is a high probability that it is just jealousy that will break the current relationship.
She just needs something
The most common reason is the desire to gain benefits: connections, acquaintances, skills. Often, girls prefer to lull their ex-boyfriend's vigilance and then get the things they want. This relationship will not be happy.
Wants to assert himself
If the breakup ends on a negative note, there is a chance that the partner is coming back for revenge. In this case, women try in every possible way to show who the man has lost. The girl will return to the life of a loving person, tempt him, and then break off communication.
Sign #7: Jealousy
A very strong indicator that your ex-girlfriend is still interested in you, or even wants to get back, is jealousy. This is exactly the sign that will help us understand the situation and, as I already mentioned in my program “The Ex Factor”, this is exactly what will help you get your relationship back. And if she gets jealous when you spend time with other girls, go on dates or post photos on social networks with other ladies, then this is a reason to think about it.
It doesn’t matter what it is, but if she is jealous at the same time, then it is clear that she still has romantic feelings for you and jealousy is perhaps the best indicator of this.
Why does she remind herself if she doesn’t want to get back together?
Girls are quite insidious creatures. Our behavior cannot always be interpreted “head-on”. Many actions can be caused by completely different reasons, so it is important to realize that her activity in your direction is not always a request to “come back”.
Why does she write or call if she actually closed the issue with your relationship a long time ago? There may be several reasons, and we have outlined the most common ones below.
Desire to improve self-esteem
Perhaps the most obvious reason is the desire to increase self-esteem. When a woman is courted by many men, she instantly feels more beautiful, successful, attractive and begins to love herself even more powerfully.
In this case, even her question whether you have a girlfriend, unfortunately, does not say anything. Thus, she just wants to feel important and enjoy the fact that she still ranks first in your life.
Wants to show off to friends
Another reason indirectly related to increasing self-esteem is bragging in front of other girls. Your exes abandon you and beat you up, but mine just can’t forget me! And it doesn’t matter that you yourself throw wood on the fire of your relationship. So the next time you have a question about whether to help your ex-girlfriend or solve her problems, remember. that the desired result may not happen. On the plus side: her cute friend might like you.
Feels guilty
The desire to make amends is a common trigger for girls to continue communicating with their ex. Everything may be fine with you for a long time, but she is gnawing at the feeling that she treated you badly (especially if the breakup was her fault). To check this, let her understand that everything is wonderful in your life. If she continues to initiate your communication after that, it means that her interest is caused by another reason.
Nostalgia
Men know less than girls what nostalgia is. But nevertheless, they are also familiar with this feeling. If you have spent many months and years side by side with another person, it is quite possible that you will not be able to burn all your bridges after one quarrel. And that's okay. But you shouldn’t take communication out of a sense of nostalgia as a way to get your relationship back. So if a girl wrote to you a year after breaking up, it is quite possible that memories of old times came flooding back to her. Which may result in something, but most often will be forgotten the very next day.
Values you as a friend
After breaking up, does the girl want to communicate with you? Initiates communication, writes, cares? Do you think your ex wants you back? Everything is not so obvious and can be ridiculously simple. She. Loves. You. How. Friend. There is so much pain in these five words.
Sign #8: Depression
Well, the last sign, which can be quite ambiguous.
If your ex is depressed, constantly in a bad mood, her negative emotions only increase and she seems emotionally broken after the breakup, then this may indicate both that she wants to get back, and that she has made a final decision to break up .
That's all for today. In fact, there can be a lot of such signs, but perhaps the best way to find out is to take a five-minute test. It's completely free. And yes, if you liked it, rate the article 5 stars, this is very important to me. Thank you for watching.
See you soon! Arthur Nikitin
How to get a girl back after a breakup - Psychology
After you've broken up and you want her back, there are two possible scenarios. In the first scenario - she also wants to return to you (you now already know how to determine this) and the second scenario - she does not want a relationship with you.
Let's start with the last, most undesirable option, when the ex does not want to renew the relationship.
There is only one way to return it, now I will tell you step by step.
Step #1 - Get out of her life completely.
If you write to her, call her and make attempts to return her, then immediately stop doing this. Every attempt you make only reduces your chances of success. Take a break.
During this pause, you must completely change and become the best version of yourself. If you love a girl, and she leaves you, this means that your beliefs and behavior are wrong. It’s hard to admit, but women don’t leave men with the right backbone and demeanor. Admit it and start pumping yourself up.
How to start changing?
Explore the topic of relationships more deeply . My site will help you with this. Here you will find a huge number of useful articles that will improve your understanding of the psychology of relationships. But you can also study courses and videos from other experts who specialize in the topic of getting your ex back. Link to training material (Opens in a new tab)
In addition to upgrading your knowledge in the field of relationship psychology, also do not forget about other areas of life.
Set yourself an ambitious goal
If you are a student or schoolboy, then set yourself the goal of getting a gold medal or a red diploma, becoming the best student in your class or group. If you are already working, then strive to get a promotion or open your own business. The more ambitious the goal, the stronger the pumping. In the process of achieving your goal, you will change, your character and picture of the world will become different. Girls adore ambitious men, so this is an important point. It will also help you take your mind off your feelings, and you can direct your emotions in a productive direction.
Start chatting with other girls
Get as much practical experience interacting with women as possible. It doesn’t matter how old you are, 14 or 50. Start at any age. Overcome your fear of dating and start meeting beautiful girls in your city. While you're on your way to work or school, you meet a lot of beauties on your way, but you don't approach them, and that's in vain. Also, create an account on a dating site (on my blog you can find many articles about online dating), start chatting and inviting worthy girls on a date.
Moreover, there are universal strategies that allow you to take a girl’s number right away. You can read about this in the article: What to write to a girl instead of “Hello, how are you?” Personal experience (Opens in a new tab)
As you gain experience, you will begin to better understand girls and their psychology. You will become more confident and relaxed.
Step #2 - Getting your ex back
You improve yourself, at the same time achieve ambitious goals in the outside world and develop the habit of a winner. You also form an environment of other girls, learning how to interact correctly with the opposite sex in practice. And I can tell you that when you have a choice among other women, then you already become in the position of the chooser. And if you still decide to choose your ex, then do the following:
You go and get to know her as if she were a complete stranger. You start everything from scratch. There shouldn’t be any memories or hints about your past relationship, you are now completely different in front of her. This won't be the same guy she left.
Your experience will have enough influencing skills to interest her and make her fall in love with you. If you deeply study the topic of relationship psychology and pump up your masculine core, then there is a chance that your relationship will be restored.
Recommendation I also recommend that you take a course from an expert on the topic of relationships - Sergei Sadkovsky. The course is called “How to get your ex-girlfriend back easily and quickly.” Sergey is a professional psychologist who has many positive reviews. Men really get results. Therefore, taking the course will not be superfluous for you. Course link (Opens in a new tab)
She's asking you for a favor4
She needs to get a meeting: her tap is broken, her car is making strange sounds, it’s raining outside and she’s sad. All this is not easy. Yes, sometimes her car can really act up, but can’t she figure it out without your help? What about guy friends? Or a trip to a car service? These guys will handle the problem much better and faster. But no, she is calling you to the rescue. It's simple - the problem is clearly something else. Or in someone.
Of course, don’t take it personally when she asks you to take your once-shared pet to a doctor’s appointment, for example. If you got an animal together, then she has every right to turn to you to resolve this issue. Well, a decent man should not refuse. This is a matter of honor and the ability to take responsibility. But this is a different story.
Sometimes guys surprise us with their blindness! The ex called - this is a real chance to fix everything. If, of course, there is interest in this. But instead of turning on all their charm and making an appointment, men hesitate and everything ends in nothing.
Despite everything, she, a weak girl, decided and took this step towards you. What else do you need? Not all women can say directly that they miss you and want to try to build a relationship again. But you want this too, don’t you? Then your passive role is unclear. Maybe it's time to act?
Mutual claims
She was tired of socks scattered around the house, the bathroom mirror with traces of toothpaste, and the toilet seat not lowered. He was tired of eating instant soups instead of borscht, because his beloved went to the salon yesterday and got a new manicure. Before that there were extended nails, and before them an incomprehensible abstract art with rhinestones, how terribly expensive and fragile.
Discontent is growing, and with it tension. The slightest push and a destructive mechanism is launched, as a result a huge scandal and an equally loud separation. Everyone is in shock, yesterday's lovers included.
Your state after your ex left
If, after reading the above, you began to suspect yourself of weakness, this is not true. Almost everyone has encountered the situation you are in now (even if it is a really difficult case) in one way or another. We can say that this is a necessary test that everyone goes through before finally growing up. Another question is how you will get out of it. Feeling lost is not weakness. Weakness is the reluctance to get out of it, the encouragement of self-pity.
As soon as you realize that you have begun to live in the past, you need to reboot.
Guys who don’t fight with themselves continue to feel sorry for themselves and gradually sink to the very bottom. In my practice, I see the same mistakes: trying to talk to my ex, not letting her leave, or quickly getting her back through conversations, tears, and the like. All this leads to the girl finally cutting off all contacts, and the guy’s reputation is level with the plinth.
And at this moment the psychological state only gets worse. The girl is completely ignored. Everything that happens in her life is a secret. Or maybe she’s already in bed with someone else, but doesn’t even remember about you?
How should a man behave in this situation?
If a former life partner demonstrated a desire to return through her behavior, a man has a completely logical question: what to do in such a situation? When making a decision, he faces a lot of difficulties and doubts. After all, there is a risk that after a response appears, her interest will evaporate and she will not want to return.
So, the answer to the question: what to do? First of all, decide on your true desires. It’s one thing when a woman wants her marriage back, and another thing is her own preferences.
To determine the fate of such a relationship, you should first answer a number of questions for yourself and make a decision based on the emotions they evoke:
- Did she have a man after the breakup?
- What emotions overcome you at the thought that she managed to start a relationship with someone?
- Did she have a lover during her marriage?
- Who was the initiator and what was the reason for the separation?
- Is there still any resentment towards your ex-wife?
- Are your feelings for her as strong as before?
When there is a possibility of preserving the union, and the initiative from the spouse has not evaporated, you need to start acting.
If a man is to blame for the breakdown of a marriage, but his wife has forgiven him, he will have to again seek her favor. Dates, romantic gifts, flowers, sweets and compliments will help you become a happy part of society again.
READ
How to survive a breakup after 40 years for a man and a woman
To return her beloved man, a woman can act through friends and relatives
If the thought of reunification causes protest, you should not step over your own desires. It is necessary to make it clear to the ex-wife that the relationship has exhausted itself and no happy reunion can be expected.
Drunk messages
Some people perceive this as ridiculous, but in reality, drunken calls or messages to your ex are not nearly as straightforward as they seem. Alcohol is the elixir of courage. Therefore, under its influence, many commit sincere actions that they would not dare to do when sober. And if your ex-girlfriend suddenly calls you around midnight and, through intermittent speech, says that she misses you, loves you, or, conversely, reproaches you for “you ruined everything,” then most likely she regrets the breakup. And drinking a bottle of wine has absolutely nothing to do with it.
Author: Mixtests Team
I'm afraid of losing my girlfriend forever
The question “how to understand that there is no chance of getting a girl back” is asked to calm down. Intellectually, a man understands that the relationship is already lost, but cannot accept this fact on an emotional level. He has already seen his mistakes or found similarities in the stories of problematic relationships from the video. Viewers of the channel leave many comments asking for clarification of their situation. They do not dare to apply knowledge in practice because they are afraid of losing control over the situation. The irony is that there is no control anyway, and fear simply prevents you from thinking soberly.
Man's greatest fear is the unknown. To cope with fear, let's turn the unknown into unpleasant but transparent facts. This approach simplifies the choice and leaves only two options:
Deny reality consciously and remain on a leash. When choosing this option, a man sees the facts and says “Nooo, this is not about me, but my girlfriend is not like that, she is special.” I don’t recommend reading further to such people - you’ll only waste time. It’s better to immediately sprint to your ex with a bouquet in the anus. It’s clever: he fell to his knees, and there were flowers on top.
Consciously accept the truth about women, yourself and your mistakes. This is not an admission of guilt, but an acceptance of responsibility for one's actions.
Let's leave the stooped sprinters to endlessly run around in a circle of humiliation. They choose this path on their own. Let’s not feel sorry for them; in some perverted sense, these men are even happy. I invite those who remain to take off their illusion glasses. Now we will break these pink glasses.
Nostalgic conversations3
If your conversations are filled with sadness and melancholy, then she wants to convey her experiences. She feels bad and lonely. These thoughts haunt her. She's trying to get you emotional or make you remember the best times you've had together. Everything is used: events, favorite places, unusual occasions.
Think about it, it’s not in vain that she shares her pleasant memories with you. Her goal is to make you remember how good it was with her. And in this way she emphasizes that everything can happen again.
When do women return?
The girl’s return to her ex-partner is directly dependent on the reason for the separation and the presence of feelings for the man. As a rule, difficulties in couples do not arise overnight; they accumulate over months and years. If difficulties are hushed up and not discussed with your partner, then someday this will result in a large-scale quarrel.
There are several global reasons for a break:
- A sudden conflict, under the influence of momentary negative emotions, increases the chances of separation. When for one of the lovers, integrity and pride are above all else. It’s not uncommon for numerous small quarrels to lead to separation, from which you get tired and just want to take a break.
- Treason. Many couples break up for this very reason. Men are polygamous by nature; it is difficult for them to restrain their instincts. As a result, the woman who suffers is emotionally weaker and more attached.
- Violence. The female sex is obviously weaker than the male sex and cannot answer. Such a relationship is doomed from the start. If a girl returns to such a person again and again, then it is worth thinking about a painful addiction, akin to a drug addiction.
During the emergence of affection and love, the girl does not notice any shortcomings, but everyone has their own character, habits, manner of communication and behavior in everyday life. People in love find ways to get around the “sharp corners” and adapt to each other. When feelings pass, minor shortcomings begin to irritate and infuriate, quarrelsomeness and discontent appear in girls.
The psychology of relationships is built on the trust of partners and complete mutual understanding. If a woman returns, then she has thought about everything a million times, remembered both positive moments and negative situations. As a result, positive emotions prevailed, and there is a feeling that everything can be returned to normal.
