Self-realization: how to achieve life goals

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The article explains:

The structure of personal self-realization
Self-realization goals at different ages
Problems of self-realization
4 types of self-realization
The first steps towards self-realization to achieve your goal
10 methods to achieve self-realization goals
Signs of self-realization: how to understand that you have achieved your goal

Self-realization is a long, complex process.
Sometimes it can take a good half of your life. But this process is pleasant and brings very valuable and desired results. After all, the goal of our life is to realize ourselves, and it doesn’t matter how this will be expressed: in a dizzying career, creative growth, becoming an ideal parent - all this is part of one whole - a self-sufficient personality. Self-realization does not tolerate dispersion. Choose one goal and methodically follow it, developing the necessary skills, competencies, and abilities.

The structure of personal self-realization

Each person has his own priority direction in which his further life self-realization will occur. Some people are given the ability to express creativity as a talent, others have special skills in communicating with children, which makes them an ideal parent.

The most important thing is to have the freedom of self-realization, to get involved in it for real, and not at the insistence of third parties. In addition, there are special strategies, goals and mechanisms of personal self-realization, which I would like to talk about in a little more detail.

If we consider the self-realization of the individual in some aspects, then we can say that it is:

activities that are inherent in each person;
a special process of knowing yourself, in order to recognize and reveal your own abilities and talents;
implementation of the most important personal qualities, the purpose of which is to achieve certain goals.

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Be that as it may, the process of self-development and self-improvement is the main component of self-realization as a whole. Don’t think that this process will go quickly and unnoticed. The path to self-realization is not easy, by no means easy, and success at one stage or another will help determine a set of structural indicators, for example:

manifestation of initiative aimed at planning one’s own activities, its regulation, careful control and mandatory focus;
signs of autonomous (independent) behavior, when you can make a competent, important decision, and are also able to independently regulate your interaction with other subjects;
references to creativity that can help bring creativity into your work.

As already mentioned, the potential takes quite a long time to be realized, and therefore goals can change depending on the stage of life in the present.

The desire for self-realization and the desire to become happy are not the same thing?

Self-realization comes from perfectionism rather than from the pursuit of happiness, eudaimonism, which considers bliss, happiness as the motive and goal of all aspirations. “Happiness makes me bored,” said the heroine of Rousseau’s novel “The New Heloise.” This phrase very well conveys the spirit of self-realization. However, by making efforts to realize myself, I do not at all give up happiness. It will eventually come - as an addition, as a reward for my work. If, summing up my life, I can say: “I did everything I could, I used all my abilities, I achieved the goals that I set out, I followed my calling, I remained true to the life plan that I made in my youth,” - if I can, without sinning too much against the truth, say one of these phrases, then I will experience a feeling of satisfaction, peace, serenity. Isn't this what happiness is ultimately called?

Self-realization goals at different ages

Personal self-realization is closely dependent on a person’s age, because over the course of our lives our priority goals can radically change:

In childhood, mental and moral potential is revealed, and therefore the emphasis is on the following priority goals:

with the help of training, develop intelligence to the maximum and form character;
get to know your strengths and weaknesses through communication with peers;
Find yourself in creativity by testing all kinds of hobbies.

During adolescence, there is a need to find a potential partner for future life and, of course, to determine professional direction, and therefore the priority goals are now:

learn the interaction with the inner “I” through deep reflection, as well as get rid of existing prejudices and stereotypes;
develop mental abilities as much as possible;
devote time to improving bodily and spiritual knowledge;
get acquainted with the patterns in intimate relationships.

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In the mature period , a moment comes when a person establishes himself in the status of a professional, which is important, and a person, which is more important, and priority goals change:

increasing one’s own competence in the chosen profession;
emergence of authority among fellow professionals;
achieving harmony in family or love relationships;
acquisition of the desired, and desired, social status.

Is it absolutely necessary to actively act in order to achieve self-realization?

What does effort at self-realization mean? This is a kind of “life project” that requires consistency and perseverance. “I am defined by my project,” wrote Jean-Paul Sartre. To realize yourself, you need to want to achieve some goal in any area: in professional or leisure activities (for example, hobbies), in sports or artistic pursuits, in social life, in volunteering, in family life, in love. relationships. There are a lot of ways for personal realization! Some people strive to achieve something exceptional, extraordinary, majestic. They need great goals, a noble mission that they want to fulfill. They need noisy, brilliant success, fame, glory. Others, on the contrary, collect their harvest in the field of everyday life and feel very good. And it’s wonderful that this is so. They have one thing in common – action. Action is necessary for self-realization. As the writer Andre Malraux said, “we are the sum of our actions.” A life consisting only of a continuous series of moments of contemplation (“let everything go as it goes”) would be incomplete.

Problems of self-realization

Most fears in the matter of activity and self-realization are justified by the fact that the problems of turning dreams into reality come from ourselves. We may have thousands of chances for self-realization and achieving something worthwhile, however, for people who find it difficult to decide, these chances will be seen as a yoke around the neck, and also cause apathy, depression, self-flagellation and other negative manifestations. All this will end in complete collapse and degradation.

It is not for nothing that many philosophers and scientists have written a lot of scientific works on issues of self-realization.

Aristotle expressed the opinion that achieving the highest, unconditional happiness is possible only through the implementation of talents, and it does not matter whether they are innate or developed.

Problems of self-realization

Abraham Maslow also devoted a lot of time to thoroughly studying all sorts of aspects of self-realization, and came to the conclusion that the human need for self-realization is at the top of the imaginary pyramid of all kinds of human needs.

It turns out that the primary requirement is to overcome physiological needs, ensure safety, carefully analyze social factors, find true friends and true love, and only then devote time to your own self-realization.

It is not surprising that statistics report only 4% of all people who managed to reach this peak

It is very important to use all your existing creative and professional potential - this will be the key to a happy life in harmony with yourself.

Difficulties that are psychologically oriented always appear on the path of self-knowledge; most often they appear due to a discrepancy between intellectual and energy potential, as well as the level of skills and the degree of realization of experience in the real world.

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Difficulties with personal self-realization go back to childhood, since any mistake can become fatal:

At the stage of education, when parents allow their child to be overprotective, depriving him of the opportunity to act independently and learn from his own mistakes. Children grow up, adults appear who are absolutely incapable of setting clear goals and, of course, will not be able to develop a plan to achieve them.

The first difficulty: realizing what we really want

Andre Gide said: “There are a thousand “I” inside me, and I cannot decide to be one.” The realization of all our possibilities encounters the first difficulty: realizing what we really want.

Yes it is. That's why, perhaps, you should allow yourself not to realize every single one of your possibilities. One of the most dangerous temptations of self-realization is the desire to do everything you can, to try to put all your ideas into practice. This is a teenage dream that we have to give up in order to become adults, because in reality it leads to dispersal of energy, which is unproductive. We must overcome this “Don Juanism” of a person who grasps at everything. I cannot work in all specialties at once, shine in all types of arts, defend all positions in a row, engage in all sports. I have to make a choice. The forerunner of existentialism, Søren Kierkegaard, spoke of choice as baptism, and this is fair, since this moment determines the formation of our personality. You must be able to limit yourself, set limits for yourself. Self-realization is inseparable from self-restraint.

How to find your calling if you are not like everyone else?

Realization in the life of a sound artist is always associated with cognition. Inanimate nature: the laws of physics and mathematics, the mastery of which gave the world incredible IT technologies and the Internet. Plant and living nature: scientists have developed food technologies unique in the history of mankind, and medicine has reached the highest level. Human nature: it is the sound people who strive for psychotherapy and psychiatry, trying to unravel the secrets of the human soul and protect themselves from their native fear - going crazy.

How to find yourself in the profession? The range of professions in which a sound engineer can succeed is quite wide: programming, exact sciences, foreign languages, creative writing, music, psychology, psychotherapy, and there are others.

The names of realized sound artists whose lives are a shining example of the great value they brought to society are Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, Steve Jobs, Nikola Tesla and Albert Einstein.

But it is not at all necessary to be born a genius in order to succeed and be happy, because everyone is born with their own amount of desire, which must be realized. And this will be quite enough to feel for sure that life is a success.

Incredible changes occur when you fill the fundamental desires of sound to understand yourself, humanity, the meaning of everything that exists, the cause-and-effect relationships of what is happening around you in particular and in the world in general. When you get to know not only yourself, but also learn to focus on people and understand each person as yourself. And a boss with a huckstering streak, and superficial office colleagues, even the most notorious gossip lovers. Yes, like yourself - completely without irritation and condemnation.

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What happens after this?

All your desires are freed from the yoke of the sound vector, and your whole being literally explodes with interest in life and desires - the most unexpected and different. Suddenly, a new reality will appear in front of you - multifaceted and filled with meaning. And you will no longer wonder what it means to find yourself, because you will find both yourself and a new reality.

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Author of the publication: Yana Parshina, sales manager
The article was written based on materials from the training “System-vector psychology”

How can an emotional person find himself?

For example, if a person has special, sensitive vision, distinguishing a greater number of colors and shades, good artistic taste, and his keyword is “beautiful” - this means that he has a visual vector. His life is filled with emotions - he is sensual, funny, kind, fearful, and his eyes are wet.

If you have a visual vector, you can find yourself in intellectual and creative professions. Culture and art, design, photography, fashion - the viewer will feel good where he can enjoy beauty, create it, expressing emotions, experiencing emotions, conveying emotions to others. Emotions for him are life.

We receive all the kindest and most beautiful things created by people from spectators who realize to the maximum what nature has given them.

Now let’s imagine a viewer who works as an accountant, marketer or salesperson. How to realize yourself here? Where are the emotions here? Where is the beauty? Unfulfilled emotions burst out in the form of hysterical breakdowns, from which loved ones suffer, or he constantly falls in love with someone.

Difficulty levels

By analogy with a computer game, each participant in the game is assigned his own role, his own unique abilities-talents (his own unique equipment, his own type of weapon, his own tools). Each game has difficulty levels. For example: easy (light), medium (medium), hard (heavy). Anyone can overcome the first level of difficulty. At the second difficulty level, there is already a much greater return, but it is also more exciting. Very few pass the third level.

These levels of complexity are assigned to a person even before birth in accordance with his potential, as they say, “everyone is given according to his shoulders.” Of course, everyone has the opportunity to try to play on the most difficult level, but this is doomed to failure. The player will always lose in the very first minutes of the game. In this case, he can spend his whole life trying to take someone else's place. But if he had played his role, he would have been able to successfully complete all stages of the game, getting maximum pleasure from it.

What advice would you give to a young person to help them realize themselves?

I would tell him: your self-realization is a rocket with two engines. One depends on your abilities, talents, inclinations. The other works from motivation, from desire. Engines have different power and are not equally important. Mainly, what matters is the second engine – your aspirations and desires. Therefore, stop anxiously asking yourself: can you, do you have the ability to do anything. Better ask yourself if you want it. Listen to your deepest desires, that’s what matters most.”

Based on materials from //www.psychologies.ru/

Practical recommendations

First of all, you need to competently and realistically assess your own talents and abilities. To do this, psychologists recommend taking a sheet of paper, creating a calm, relaxing environment and writing down the qualities and hobbies that need to be worked on.
Honestly and impartially write down all your character traits, regardless of how much they are valued by society.
List all the types of activities in which you would like to realize yourself. Think about your dreams, what you wanted to do as a child. As psychologists note, childhood dreams reflect a person’s true personality. Next to each activity, write down the necessary character traits that will help you achieve success. After all, only in activity does self-realization of the individual occur.
Compare the lists and this way you will see which type of activity suits you best. At first glance, this method is only suitable for teenagers who have not decided on a profession. However, according to statistics, most adults are not satisfied with their work and would like to change their type of activity. Such dissatisfaction is dictated, first of all, by the inability to correctly identify one’s talents and set life priorities.
Many people mistakenly believe that they can only realize themselves in professional activities. However, this is a general misconception. It is necessary to abstract from traditional views and evaluate yourself comprehensively. It is quite possible that a person will be able to express himself while on vacation or while doing his favorite hobby. The main thing is that the process is enjoyable - this is the main sign that the self-realization strategy has been chosen correctly and is successful.

Watch the video - an expert’s opinion on personal self-realization and finding a worthy goal in life.

What if nothing is interesting? How to find yourself in the profession?

There are eight vectors, and every modern person has several of them. In different circumstances of life we can use our different abilities, properties and talents. The skin vector, for example, gives a person a rational mind and pragmatism, dexterity and entrepreneurial spirit. The anal vector allows you to become a professional in any industry, gaining experience and knowledge in your field.

But there is one vector that makes its owner different from everyone else.

It is this vector that makes you think more than others about how to find yourself in life. This is a sound vector. It is thanks to him that you think about things that mean nothing to others. For example, about the meaning of life, space, some energies, about a state of altered consciousness, about knowing oneself.

If you have a sound vector, it is the most important in your psyche. His desires are very voluminous, and if they are not realized, your condition becomes grave. You withdraw into yourself, and the desires of other vectors seem to be blocked. Other people become uninteresting, stupid, annoying.

And then, no matter what you do in life, you feel that it is not yours. Life turns into a search for yourself and your path. Everything is empty, uninteresting, painful, everything is not worth doing. Working as an executive assistant, for example, you hate your skinny boss and secretly despise his huckstering streak. Office life with its bustle and gossip seems unbearably disgusting.

How can you be so down to earth? Surely your dream job is remote work. Locking yourself at home and being alone with yourself is your constant desire. But in this there is no realization, no fulfillment of the innate desire for sound - self-knowledge.