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Why can it be so difficult to find yourself? After all, we didn’t lose ourselves anywhere. Are we exaggerating the importance of the question “How to find yourself and your purpose in life?”
In fact, it turns out that finding yourself is not so easy. Therefore, finding yourself and your purpose can become almost the key issue of your whole life.
The topic of searching for purpose is perfectly explained by blogger Mila Levchuk. It was her advice that helped me find my life’s work, so when writing the article I could not ignore this valuable information. I'm sure these tips will help you too!
To find your purpose, you first need to figure out: who you are, what you want, what you love, what you like? Based on the answers to these questions, the entire life strategy is built, a life “route” is laid out.
In this article you will learn how to get the fastest route to your destination.
This article is a practice in applying 8 brief principles of finding purpose.
How do you know when it's time to start looking for your purpose?
If you have:
- There is no understanding of what kind of person you are, what you like and what you don’t like;
- There is fear of the future. You worry about what awaits you and what will happen to you;
- The priority is to find money matters. You don't pay attention to what the soul wants;
- There is confidence that you can’t make money doing what you love, that it cannot be a matter of life, but only entertainment.
Interesting and useful exercises
Determining the correctness of your path is sometimes very simple, just pay attention to waking up in the morning. Those whose path is correct get out of bed energetically and with creative ideas. And accordingly, those who hate the alarm clock and get up with difficulty and in a bad mood need changes. There are several exercises that will help you find out what you really need to do:
- Exercise 1. Ideal environment. Almost always, the environment that produces winners consists of them. The faith of others in a person greatly simplifies and supports faith in oneself. But many are unlucky; their environment is not conducive to the discovery of genius. The exercise asks you to imagine that upon waking up in the morning, a person discovered that the world had changed in accordance with his needs. Now he is surrounded only by those people whom he wants to see next to him. What will they be like? And what qualities characterize them? What has a person learned about himself and what does he need to reach his full potential?
- Exercise 2. Bring back children's interest. There is one thing that separates a genius (which anyone can be) from ordinary people - this is standing up for the right to do what you love. As a rule, this can be traced back to childhood. It is necessary to answer the question of what a person liked to do in his early years, before the imposition of serious and profitable activities by adults.
- Exercise 3. Ideal day. All you need is a piece of paper, a pen and imagination. It is recommended to live your ideal day in every detail: the place of action, the people around you, food, clothes, activities. No restrictions. It is important to imagine having absolute freedom, billions of rubles, skills and the powers of your dreams.
- Exercise 4. 20 favorite activities. This list may contain banal things like eating delicious food and something more significant and global. After compiling the list, you need to carefully study it. There are probably patterns there and a certain type of activity predominates: sports, helping others, or something related to monotonous work.
- Exercise 5. Five lives. That's how many of them there really are, just imagine it. And every life is an opportunity to become what you want. How will these chances be used? The number of lives can be changed to 3 or 7. Then choose the life that you like the most. But this is not necessary; you can also choose from each one what a person loves and needs, and then implement it all in reality.
Having completed the exercises , you need to make three lists and add all your fantasies to them . The first concerns things that are needed like air. The second includes what would be desirable, but not necessary. And the third is about things you can do without.
Human life is experiences, roles, relationships, stories, skills, earnings. Something from this list is imposed, chosen, is a compromise, or even an accident. Others are necessary or expensive. Those who want to find themselves in life, understand what is theirs and where their place is, must focus on themselves, find their favorite things and activities and act, move towards their destiny.
How to “FIND” AND UNDERSTAND yourself? ► 3 steps to creating a better you
Why can it be so difficult to find purpose?
We don't know our talents and abilities
If, since childhood, your parents paid attention to: you have such and such a talent, you are good at this, and you felt that you liked it - in this case, it can be easier to find your purpose.
But it is not a fact that in childhood someone studied your talents and abilities. Neither the kindergarten, nor the school, nor any child care institution had a priority to identify any of your individual characteristics.
Not everyone knows that there are 8 types of intelligence. Using this technique, it is possible to identify a person’s inclinations.
At school, only logical-mathematical and linguistic types of intelligence are in demand. All other talents are not in demand, although their purpose may lie in their area.
Therefore, if no one has studied your talents since childhood, you can determine your type of intelligence right now. This will probably make it easier to find your purpose.
There were no conditions for studying oneself in different roles
If you have musical talent but were born into a non-musical family without an instrument, your talent may go unnoticed.
It may be that there are many talents, but there is no place to show them.
In order for talents to manifest themselves, it is necessary to create certain conditions in which they will be in demand.
There were no conditions for developing talents
This is when abilities and talents were identified, but there were no opportunities for their development (for example, the city did not have the required section, or parents did not have the financial opportunity).
They decided for you what is more important to you
The clubs, sections, and focus of the school were chosen for you. Your parents thought that in life you would benefit more from the ability to play the violin than from a handicrafts group, or from a swimming pool instead of singing. Perhaps you wanted to grow flowers but were told you couldn't make money from it.
You were required to perform well in all subjects
Everyone has their own abilities. If a child was confused: he was good at mathematics, but most of the time he was improving his Russian language - the child could become a mediocre humanities specialist and a mediocre mathematician.
There is no need to improve your weaknesses to an average level.
We need to invest in talent and develop it.
Often the weakest thing is what is not needed. It’s all the more difficult to succeed in an area you don’t like.
Parents insisted on a profession that was in demand but unloved
You wanted to be a kindergarten teacher, but went to law school.
You are a creative person, but you went into a technical specialty so that you could have a job later.
The subjective parental perception of what earnings can bring sometimes turns out to be more important than the child’s abilities, desires and aspirations. Stable salary with social benefits the package turns out to be more important than the implementation.
Often parents have a plan for their child: they want admission to a certain faculty, then force them to study there.
This is how the personality breaks down: the plan becomes more important.
Moreover, if a person chose an occupation he liked, he could become, for example, a successful designer, more in demand than most accountants or lawyers. Realizing and developing his potential would bring him happiness and a decent income.
There is no need to blame all failures on your parents. They could be wrong, but remember that only you are fully responsible for your own life.
Therefore, draw conclusions and we will move on.
Sequencing
The problem for those who do not understand how to find their place in life is often hidden in inconsistency. They tend to take on the next lesson, abandoning the previous one, without bringing it to its logical conclusion. Enthusiasm disappears, and along with it the desire to search. The result is a lack of results and disappointment.
In fact, everything should be different:
- How to find yourself? Choose a task, feel the goal with all your soul and move forward.
- Get the result, feel the importance of the idea, and you will be surprised at how many positive emotions and energy will fill you.
- If you have found your calling, doubts will be dispelled immediately.
- If this doesn’t happen, don’t live with the thought “I’ve lost myself” - move on.
How will life change when your purpose is found?
Every person has their own superpower. This is what works best. Superpower is an inner need of a person.
From the outside, many people may perceive your superpower as hard work, but you will be happy about it.
When you find your superpower, your purpose, you will be happy.
You will be able to do your work as efficiently and efficiently as possible and receive positive feedback from the world.
You can become a genius if you discover your superpower.
Leave stereotypes behind
People tend to treat their choices, their own thoughts and actions as the only right decision. This factor often interferes with them, depriving them of sensitivity. Those who strive to change their life, to find new meaning in it, need to abandon the existing ideas formed earlier.
To get an answer to the question of how to find yourself in life, there is an interesting technique - when communicating with different people, try to mentally try on their image on yourself, feel their values, desires and worldview.
Do not look disdainfully at unusual frames, try to evaluate them objectively. As if to weigh it.
Traps on the way to your destiny
When you start looking for purpose, you may be pulled back. Something will start to stop, opposition will appear.
At this moment, you need to find one of the traps listed below and tell yourself: I will not give in and I will not stop.
So, the traps:
Endless doubts and objections
An inner voice can tell you why you won’t succeed: you don’t have enough knowledge, skills, experience, connections, so you don’t even have to start. Under no circumstances should you listen to your inner critic.
Feeling like your seat is already taken
It will seem to you that there are already professionals who bake cakes, treat animals, teach dancing, conduct weddings, etc.
It is not true that all the places are occupied. Every day new specialists appear in all fields. The greatest successes are achieved by those who came to the sphere at the call of their soul.
You need to go not in the direction of money, but in the direction of your destination - and there will be money there too.
In an unloved field, burnout occurs very quickly. Everything where there is no call of the soul, but where there is money - not for long.
Therefore, for those who love what they do, there is no competition. There is competition at the level of huge corporations.
Competition for private craftsmen, small salons, cafes is an imaginary barrier.
If you do your work efficiently and responsibly, there will be no price for you.
If you do your work with talent, you will have great success.
Dependence on people's opinions
“People will think that I am doing some nonsense. They will say that this is not a serious matter. How will I be assessed? How will they look at me?
Let everyone think what they want. You've made your decision. The main thing is that it will be right for you.
You need to live as you choose, and not as others have decided for you.
Shifting the focus not to benefit, but to profit
Money comes when a person begins to bring maximum benefit.
People come to highly qualified specialists with a request: take the money and do your job well! It's nice to pay for good work. In this case, the client does not feel deceived; he is happy to part with his money.
Discover your depth, create yourself not for the sake of recognition, approval or money - but only for the sake of discovering your true “I”.
The desire to prove something to someone
For example, you studied to be an engineer, but you don’t like this specialty. At the same time, you want to prove to everyone that you are a girl engineer. In reality, you want to play the piano, but you are afraid that they will not understand you.
Don't let anyone control your life. Allow yourself to make decisions for the purpose of implementation, and not out of a desire to prove something to someone.
Long preparation
When, instead of doing it, you prepare for years, and then the desire to change something in your life disappears.
It’s a pity to throw away years of learning something you don’t like from your life.
You studied for some specialty, and now you realized that you want to work in a completely different field. What to do? So many years devoted to another specialty...
If you realize that you've wasted a lot of time on something you don't enjoy, the best thing to do is take your losses and move on.
You don't need to lose another 20 years of your life for it to make sense that you've already lost 10. You don't need to condemn yourself to an unhappy life. Then you will greatly regret that you lived the wrong life all those years while you tried to justify the diploma that turned out to be unnecessary.
Seeing only one way
For example, figure skaters go ice skating, but you can’t due to health reasons, so you are looking for another activity.
Sometimes you just need to expand your vision.
You don’t have to ride yourself, but teach other people to do it or record training videos.
All new directions appeared when someone started doing something differently from everyone else. At the same time, many stop when they realize that they cannot do as others do.
Dependence on other people's opinions, fear of criticism
Sometimes our family and friends worry about us and begin to scare us, criticize us, and express their opinions. You don't always need to listen to other people's opinions.
If these opinions lower your energy and you feel bad after the conversation, you need to ask them to stop talking about this topic.
Fear that it's too late to start
Every year you will think: why didn’t you start earlier?
Start today!
You will never have as much energy and time as you have now.
Every day you are younger than you will ever be.
There are people who start late, but the rest of the time they will be happy. There are people who will say that it is too late and will never be happy.
Today is the day to start!
About finding yourself
Every day, children, teenagers and even adults and older people tell themselves and others “I want to find myself in life.” Self-confidence and success are also often not a guarantee that a person will not have problems finding himself. According to psychology, such conditions are typical for people with periodic repetition from the first grades to old age. This is one of those things that should be taught in schools.
From a philosophical point of view, it is understanding oneself and searching for a unique place. Psychologists believe that if such a problem takes a long time, this may indicate depression. Therefore, it is recommended to seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist or leave everything and just enjoy what you have if the search turns into an obsession and no longer brings pleasure. Sometimes such moods are explained as fatigue and, accordingly, the need for rest. It happens that a person has long found himself, but due to fatigue and stress he doubts it and needs to reboot.
Those who are looking for themselves value not only the result, but also the process itself and the efforts made. There is no magic recipe and, on the one hand, this is good, because this is what makes the search interesting, memorable and fun. On the other hand, universal instructions would make a difficult task easier. Among the main ways to determine your place in life are introspection and analysis, advice from psychologists and exercises, consultations, master classes and trainings, as well as spiritual practices, meditation and motivation. Some people choose to combine several methods, thereby simplifying their lives.
A simple way to FIND YOURSELF AND UNDERSTAND what to do in life
