Relationship Stages: 5 Stages Every Couple Goes Through

1. Birth and initial stages of relationships
2. Falling in love is the first stage of a relationship
3. Stage 2 of relationships – oversaturation
4. 3rd stage of relationship – rejection
5. Stage 4 of relationship development – ​​patience and only patience
6. Service Relationship Stage
7. Laying the Foundation for a Serious Relationship at the Respect Stage
8. The main stage of a relationship is love
9. Characteristics of relationship stages by month
10. Stages of relationships between a man and a woman by year

The stages of a relationship are a chain of natural changes in a pair of men and women, starting from acquaintance and ending with true love. Someone goes through all the stages and finds happiness, someone is afraid to take the next step forward or understands that this step should be intended for another person, and someone is simply not ready to move to the next level.

Every stage of a relationship, even the most difficult, is a normal course of events. And the candy-bouquet period will end someday, and the period of testing the strength of the relationship will also end. If a couple wisely goes through all the difficulties, then the man and woman will find happiness in their life together. Read about how each stage of a relationship is characterized and approximately how long each of them lasts.

Birth and initial stages of relationships

Before a relationship begins to develop, you need to find a person with whom you want to go through life hand in hand. Basically, people roughly understand what kind of partner they would like to see next to them, and with age and the emergence of some experience, his image becomes more and more distinct.

It often prevents you from meeting people who differ from the ideal picture drawn long ago, but could become excellent partners in a relationship. As a rule, we look at a person and quickly make a conclusion about whether he is suitable for us or not. But what can you understand about people after a few minutes of conversation or even one meeting? Yes, sometimes a person immediately demonstrates not the most pleasant character traits, and there is not the slightest doubt that a relationship with him will not work out. But it also happens that the counterpart is embarrassed, timid, behaves unnaturally, which is why a wrong impression is formed about him.

Often people are fascinated by each other literally right away, start dating and even live together, but as time passes it becomes clear that they are completely unsuitable for each other: different psychotypes, different views on some basic things in life, etc. At the initial stage of a relationship, a woman and a man make mistakes that eventually force them to separate.

This preliminary stage can be considered fast if, for example, a couple gets married at lightning speed. This speed of development has both positive and negative aspects. It’s wonderful when people are so in love and attached to each other that they cannot separate for a minute, they want to always be together. This state of euphoria gives rise to thoughts about marriage. However, such a rapid development of relationships almost inevitably leads to disappointing discoveries: it gradually becomes clear that the partner is endowed with certain shortcomings, is not adapted to everyday life, or does not think about the future at all. A showdown begins, mutual claims begin, the marriage eventually fails, and the newlyweds themselves wonder why they even officially confirmed their relationship.

It is necessary to understand that before going to the registry office, it is important to go through all the stages of building relationships, get used to each other, test your feelings for strength in various life situations, and only then make a decision about creating a real family.

Ideally, partners should gradually go through the initial stages of a relationship

.

1. First stage

   : uncertainty. People are just getting to know each other and forming a basic impression of a potential partner.

2. Second phase

   : rapprochement. Everyone in the couple still lives their own life, but the other person begins to occupy an increasing place in it, meetings occur more often, people become closer.

3. Third stage

   : falling in love. People assume mutual obligations. They view themselves as a couple, emotional and physical intimacy appears, while each has their own interests and their own separate lives.

The early stage of a relationship is extremely important

– at this moment their foundation is laid, trust is formed, an understanding of how to build correct and comfortable interaction for both. Often people break up because they fundamentally misperceive the union of lovers. Many people think that a couple is an absolute interpenetration, an interweaving of lives, dissolution in a partner. However, harmony in relationships arises only when two self-sufficient psychologically mature people make a balanced decision to be together. Each of them has their own interests (which, however, can intersect), personal space, the opportunity to retire if necessary, but at the same time they are confident that their loved one will be there in sorrow and in joy, will support, and will never betray .

Falling in love is the first stage of a relationship

One of the most pleasant periods in the life of any person is the period of falling in love: the world is filled with light, butterflies flutter in the stomach, the loved one fills everything around him. The conditional duration of this stage is 18 months.

Harvard professor Helen Fisher conducted a study and found that people actively release so-called love hormones during the acute phase of falling in love. They neutralize negative emotions, suppress rational thinking, make a person immune to everything bad, in terms of physiology he seems to be under the influence of drugs - everything is so good and wonderful during this period in his world. This lasts for about a year and then gradually subsides. People study each other and cannot get enough of new discoveries.

Helen Fisher - American anthropologist, researcher of human behavior and author of self-improvement techniques

During this period, you want to be the best for your loved one, to demonstrate yourself in all your glory, but the main thing here is not to overdo it. By forming an ideal image, you can drive yourself into a trap and, in order not to disappoint your partner, continue to play a role that is unusual for yourself. It’s trite but true: it’s better to be yourself without trying to portray someone, because sooner or later everything secret becomes clear, the euphoria of the first months of falling in love dissipates, and the person appears as he really is. Relationships at the first stage should not turn into an exhibition of achievements. The task of everyone in a couple is to create comfortable conditions for the other person, allowing him to open up without feeling awkward.

Stage 2 of relationships – oversaturation

A year passes, and people get used to each other, meetings no longer cause some incredible euphoria and are taken for granted. Often lovers decide to move in together.

For some, the onset of this stage of a relationship comes as an unpleasant surprise; it seems to them that the absence of a storm of emotions is a clear sign that love has passed, but this is not so (or not always so). The euphoria simply dissipated, and the partners began to perceive each other more realistically; they saw not only the advantages of their loved one, but also his shortcomings. Life seemed to have returned to normal. And this is not bad at all.

If in the early stages of a relationship there is an excessive idealization of the partner’s image, reality can hit you hard on the head when the rose-colored glasses fall off. But it is not the partner’s fault that he was perceived differently from what he really is.

When the acute phase of falling in love passes and the hormonal explosion stops, people begin to look at each other and relationships from a different angle. It turns out that the person slurps and periodically says some nonsense, throws dirty socks around and is always late, does not know how to cook, and generally does some nonsense in life. The desire to go out somewhere together, come up with surprises, etc. gradually fades away. People think that perhaps this is not the relationship they need, and that the person they previously loved is not who they seemed to be all this time. It is often during this period that couples break up. Some people's feelings really fade away, while others simply don't want to work on the relationship and are afraid of a new stage.

Those who have maintained relationships have a need to somehow harmonize them, make them more understandable, deep, and conscious. However, this is not so easy to implement.

What to do in this situation?

• Clear

  . It is vitally important to talk to each other, discuss what is happening around, explain your view of things, try to understand your partner’s train of thought. After all, we are so different that often things that are quite obvious and acceptable to one person seem completely incomprehensible to another. Conflicts arise on this basis, which can be avoided if you just talk.

• Agree

  . The basis of relationships is compromise. People in a couple are two separate universes. Each person acquired certain habits and attitudes during their life, developed some characteristic patterns of behavior, and, in the end, found a hobby. And now it is necessary to combine all this baggage with the baggage of another person. Of course, there will be a conflict of interest that will have to be resolved through compromise.

A couple is a small state that itself establishes certain rules and laws acceptable to both

. At the same time, they may diverge from the generally accepted ones, the main thing is that the lovers feel comfortable. And if it is accepted in society that a man earns money and a woman looks after the children, this does not mean that you specifically cannot do the opposite.

3rd stage of relationship – rejection

Overcoming the above stages of relationships, the couple comes to stage 3. This is a rather difficult period, which is characterized by uncertainty about the correctness of the choice made. A person may seriously question whether their partner is truly right for them. The chemical reactions that have been raging in the body for the previous months stop or become less pronounced, people begin to soberly evaluate their relationships, wonder whether they can live with this particular person all their lives, start a family, give birth to children. Many are faced with a choice - to leave or stay.

Sometimes when conflict situations arise, the feeling that the wrong person is nearby can get worse. And this is where many people make a mistake: instead of working through the problem, they simply leave without giving the relationship the opportunity to reach the next, more stable level. Often those who are in an eternal search for the ideal partner end all their relationships at the “Rejection” stage.

In this difficult time, it is important to consciously approach the ongoing grinding process, take responsibility for the relationship upon yourself, and not constantly shift it to your partner, try to analyze your emotions and reactions, draw conclusions, discuss all the problems that arise, without resorting to shouting and mutual accusations.

You need to understand that most couples go through this period. For some it goes easily and almost unnoticed, for others it becomes a real test of strength. As a result, the union becomes stronger, people begin to feel each other’s emotions better, understand how to behave correctly to make the partner feel comfortable, and at the same time learn to build personal boundaries. This is a lot of work, and you need to be prepared to do it properly in order to jointly take the relationship to the next stage.

Satiation

It is impossible to imagine the stages of a relationship without the second stage. It comes inevitably. The lovers in the first segment managed to “get enough” of each other, so they gradually lose the urgent need to constantly be nearby, fulfilling the desires of their other half. The intensity of passion fades away and is replaced by a calm feeling of love. Relationships begin to resemble a calm sea: everything goes peacefully, predictably, smoothly, quietly. The danger of this period lies in the possible discrepancy in the psychological readiness of one of the partners to leave the phase of falling in love. A man or woman does not want to take off their rose-colored glasses and return to reality, demanding that their other half “continue the banquet.” As a result, they become completely dependent on their loved one.

The saturation period lasts from 6 months to 1.5-2 years. If couples soberly evaluate each other, then they overcome the difficulties of this period and successfully move to the next stage of the relationship.

Stage 4 of relationship development – ​​patience and only patience

Another difficult stage, in a sense a turning point. Usually a couple has been in a relationship for a long time, their life together has been established, they have common children and property. All these factors often prevent people from pursuing self-realization; they are focused on fulfilling the responsibilities assigned to them over time: making money, raising children, paying off a mortgage, and much more. Everyday life begins to consume lovers; they have less and less opportunities to be alone and spend time with pleasure, forgetting about bills, debts, shopping, and so on. Many begin to feel dissatisfied with life, lonely, and suffer from a lack of self-realization.

At this time, it is necessary to give the partner the opportunity to show his individuality and support his aspirations for something new. At the same time, it is important to look for reserves within yourself so as not to get bogged down in the routine of everyday life. When people have a hobby, even if everyone in a couple has their own, they are more interested together, new topics for conversation appear, some plans, ideas, aspirations, life is not limited to living together. A hobby does not have to have some kind of global scale. The main thing is that a person realizes his potential and desires.

If partners respect each other, have learned to read mutual emotions and needs, and no one tries to dominate, we can talk about successfully overcoming the “Patience” stage.

But it often happens that people disperse without being able to complete this path. For example, the children have grown up and moved away, and the man and woman are left alone and do not understand what connects them now. It turns out that only their common children kept them together, and now these two essentially lonely people are faced with a cruel reality. Many, out of habit, continue to live together, getting stuck at the “Patience” stage, while others break up because they do not see a future together.

People in couples who have successfully moved to the next stage become calmer, do not try to prove to their partner that they are right, accept their position, minimize conflicts and quarrels, talk about their feelings, and allow their loved one to engage in self-realization.

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The “Service” Relationship Stage

A new stage in relationships is “service”. During this period, we can say that true love took the place of falling in love. This is manifested in selflessness of actions, the desire to make the partner’s life pleasant and comfortable, while the initial stages of the development of relations between a man and a woman are often characterized by a desire to satisfy one’s own needs and ambitions. Now there is a natural desire to serve a loved one and not demand anything in return.

At this stage, people consciously choose their roles and responsibilities; it is as if they are signing an agreement about who is responsible for what in the couple. Everyone sincerely wants to be part of this union, to make it strong, reliable, and comfortable. Of course, for this it is important to communicate, discuss everything that is happening, and express your emotions. Whatever happens, the partners undertake to fulfill this unspoken agreement, but at the same time make mutual concessions if necessary.

Adviсe

My recommendations:

• Put away your smartphone, laptop, tablet. Communicate more in person.
• Find a common hobby - drawing, sports, music, board games, completing quests.
• Read and discuss the same book. You will better understand your partner's thoughts.
• Kiss more - sweetly at parting, passionately in bed, routinely when meeting.
• Hug and hold hands. When touched, dopamine is produced, which makes us happier.
• Tell us everything that amused you, disappointed you, touched you, or brought you into a stupor. Share your feelings not only towards him, but also your emotions regarding the environment.
• Give compliments. Tell him why you love him right now!

Laying the Foundation for a Serious Relationship at the Respect Stage

People come to the “Respect” stage with a huge amount of knowledge about their partner. Moreover, this knowledge has practical daily application. Everyone in a couple is strongly attached to their loved one, trusts him completely, feels gratitude, and mutual understanding reigns between people.

Relationships at this stage do not require such serious work as at the beginning, because it has already been done, all mistakes have most likely been made, corrected and taken into account. Ideally, a couple is a harmonious union of two self-sufficient people who have the opportunity to realize their desires and are confident in the support of their partner in any situation. They need each other, but this is not a painful dependence, but a desire to be close and give each other warmth, comfort, love.

Of course, this does not mean that at this stage people cannot feel irritated, angry or dissatisfied with each other. But the essence of a properly built relationship is to be able to talk about your feelings so that your partner hears and draws the necessary conclusions, corrects or supports.

Results

When reading about the time frames and stages that couples go through to find cherished love, one should not try to adjust them by measuring conventional periods. All these steps, two of them, take place unconsciously, developing in pairs, as sedately as they do personally. It is impossible to build a harmonious union just by imagining it. To do this, you need to work and develop yourself, first of all. We must remember that having internal conflicts, we push away the people we need, and attract those from whom we subsequently suffer. Therefore, there is no need to seek salvation in relationships; they should become a complement to a mature personality, a logical continuation, evolution.

Do you believe that childhood traumas have such a strong influence on adult life? Did the article help you understand how to solve problems in your couple?

The main stage of a relationship is love

Having gone through all the stages of a relationship, the couple reaches the most important stage, which is called “Love”. This is the most calm and harmonious period in the life of lovers.

People already know each other so well that there is simply no need to conflict or make mutual claims. They have learned to listen and hear each other, they feel how to make their partner satisfied and happy, and what not to do so as not to cause irritation and provoke an unnecessary quarrel for anyone. Relationships are characterized by confidence in each other, mutual respect, lack of demands and hidden grievances.

Everyone in the couple takes responsibility for their actions without shifting it to the partner, invests as much as possible in the relationship, without demanding anything in return, but at the same time receives in abundance.

The last stage is successfully reached by those people who are ready to change themselves, listen to their loved one, compromise, but at the same time can talk about their feelings, desires and needs, and convey their emotions to their partner.

Sixth stage8

The penultimate stage of a relationship, in which partners become not just lovers, parents, but true friends. There comes a time when another unwashed cup no longer causes an explosion of emotions, sex is not so bright, but emotional intimacy covers everything in full. These are two truly close people who steadfastly withstood all the hardships and difficulties, found the secrets of understanding, fulfilled their duty to their children, went through all the temptations and stayed together. This is where the desired fairy tale comes in, in which “they lived happily ever after” best describes the state of things.

Although a person has been known for a long time, there are new traits and virtues for which one can respect, admire, glorify and be proud. Love has not yet reached the stage of highest meaning, but is already very close to it. Two people talk cheerfully and openly, ready to spend time together. Relationships are built on dedication, boundless trust and defense of common interests.

Characteristics of relationship stages by month

To create a harmonious union, the normal development of relationships is necessary, the main stages of which cannot be skipped.

The most common scenarios in this process are:

:

• over time, people either fall more deeply in love, or their feelings fade away, which leads to separation;
• they marry and live together until the end;
• They get married, but in the end the marriage breaks down.

In the psychology of interpersonal relationships, there are several stages of their development. Let's look at what happens within a couple during the first year of communication.

In general, everyone in a couple in the first year of a relationship is in a state of euphoria and does not pay attention to those qualities and character traits of the partner that he may categorically dislike.