Psychology of breakups: do men return, when and why does this happen?

Parting is always difficult for any loving female soul. And if a woman loves, she begins to wonder: “Do men come back after breaking up?”, “How long to wait, how long does it take for a man to return after breaking up?” etc. Everything, of course, depends on what your relationship was like (you are husband and wife, just lovers, etc.), how close you are, whether you separated out of stupidity and still love each other or whether the love has passed, etc. In any case In this case, it is important for a woman to know when and in what cases her loved one returns. A man is not a mysterious alien creature. He, just like a woman, worries, suffers, and gets bored. Therefore, there are certain signs that indicate whether a young man will return or not, and whether he is ready to continue your relationship. Psychology also knows the answers to the question “Why do ex-men come back after breaking up.”

Signs your ex wants to get back together

There are several basic clues that will make it clear that your lover wants to return. But one of the most important things that you need to keep in mind and answer honestly is how positive the relationship was. If you are sure that they were positive and you parted very stupidly, then most likely your loved one will return.

Below is a list of signs that will indicate that your ex-boyfriend still loves you and wants to get back together. So, 12 signs:

• after several months of silence, he wrote you one or two messages;
• you broke up because of the distance between you. Perhaps you had to move to another city or leave for certain reasons. But if you really have feelings, then distance will not be a problem and you will be able to reunite;
• his relatives called you and said that the faithful misses you;
• a handwritten letter of love came from him;
• your chosen one has not removed you from friends on social networks;
• the separation passed calmly, without quarrels and mutual insults;
• it is possible that the lover had too many problems, so he needed to focus on solving them. So, most likely, he will want to return;
• he is jealous of you, so he cannot allow you to date someone else;
• mutual acquaintances and friends tell you what he remembers about you;
• your ex-boyfriend is trying to meet you by any means;
• leaves statuses on social networks that confirm that he misses you;
• your beloved gets nervous and angry when he sees you next to another representative of the stronger sex.

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How to behave if your ex wants to come back?

If you still love this man and have been waiting for him to return, in this case you need to accept his apology and get back together. Talk to him about your breakup and the conclusions you have drawn from past failures so that the relationship becomes stronger and more harmonious.

But if you are sure that you no longer need to have any communication with him, then do not make contact and try not to meet him anywhere. Move on with your life. In addition, you need to know that your ex wants to get back into the relationship for a number of reasons, which include:

• he feels guilty towards you;
• wants to ask for forgiveness in order to remain friends;
• wants to give the relationship another chance;
• just wants to know how you live, without changing anything;
• he wants to know if he can manipulate you again;
• There are only failures in his life, he needs money, so he wants to make peace.

Why does your ex want to come back?

Every man who wants to reunite with his former passion has certain goals. Psychologists identify several main reasons that encourage exes to return:

1. He realizes that he made a mistake. Sometimes people make rash decisions, driven by emotions, and then regret their actions. Representatives of the stronger sex with high moral qualities most often return to ex-girlfriends. They believe that the chosen one will have a difficult time without him, and her life will become worse.
2. He was tired of loneliness. Having been a bachelor, the guy notes that delicious food does not appear on the table, the house is not cleaned on its own, and shirts are not washed or ironed. Being lonely, a man is forced to solve all everyday problems on his own. If the couple shared all expenses in half, then the desire to return may be due to commercialism.
3. Disappointment in other women. Some men are accustomed to seeing certain qualities in their life partner that they expect from new passions. However, not every woman wants to be a cook, mistress and cleaner all rolled into one. As a result, a person begins to suffer from a lack of attention and care. Therefore, guys often express a desire to return to their former passions.

1. A sense of ownership. In such a situation, even after breaking up, they continue to monitor the lives of their exes, because they do not want to put up with the loss of power. Realizing that the girl in whom he invested his time and resources may end up in the arms of another, the man returns.
2. If he quit on his own. Men rarely return to women they leave themselves. But if the girl who initiated the breakup beckons, then in almost all cases they return, despite the fact that they may have a new relationship.

1. We have common children. Many women wonder whether their ex-husband will return. If they have children, then this is a common story of husbands returning to their wives. However, without feelings for a woman, children cannot always become a decisive factor in the return of a spouse to the family.
2. Emotional pressure. There is a category of girls who can achieve anything they want with their tears. They begin to put moral pressure on their boyfriend, acting through his friends, relatives and acquaintances.
3. He managed to compare. The young man sees some shortcomings in his chosen one, and therefore decides to break up with her. But having started a relationship with another girl, he becomes convinced that his previous passion was much better. However, this does not always mean that the relationship can end with a happy ending. If on his life's path he meets a girl who meets his ideals, he will go to her.
4. Real love. It’s hard for people together, but bad for people apart. And the lovers once again quarreled and decided to separate. They start a new relationship, but at one point they break off all ties with new passions and return to their exes. This can only be explained by true love.

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Does a love spell work?

Now let’s go back to the beginning of the article and find out: is it true that a love spell can help? It’s strange that many people believe in some kind of power from above, because most often mistresses don’t do this: they are already loved for their special qualities that are not present in their own wife. And the reasons for all the throwing are described above.

But sometimes a mistress turns to some kind of witch if she feels that the relationship with a man is becoming tense, and he has returned to the family. The sorceress will wave her hands, cast spells, throw the grass into the cauldron and say that everything is done.

How does this work? The mistress believes that the spells have worked, and calmly and indifferently waits - he, they say, will not get away from me. Her indifference and silence are reasons for the married man to be alarmed: what’s wrong with her? Why doesn’t she call and demand anything? Is she getting ready to get married? Or maybe call her and return her past romance?

That's the trick. But in reality, all the magic lies in a woman - she herself is an attractive force for a man with her troubles, whims, humility, passionate sex and other things. Don’t go to grandma here either.

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At the moment when the husband returns to the family from his mistress, qualified advice from a psychologist on how to behave as a woman-wife can become the saving grace for a falling apart marriage. After all, maintaining composure and choosing the best tactics of behavior when the heart is “bursting” with resentment and emotions are overwhelming is not an easy task.

Don't rush to accept your ex-boyfriend

In any case, the ex will make attempts to restore the relationship. They usually do this via SMS, calls or messages on social networks. If he calls or writes, try not to show your feelings, get offended or throw a tantrum. Since the decision was not easy for the beloved and it took him a lot of courage to contact you.

Therefore, be calm and try to communicate positively. Do not remember the past and mistakes of your loved one. You should have done this during the separation period. And if you rub his nose into his unsuccessful past again, you will only indicate to him that you do not believe in his sincere desire to make peace.

Will my married lover leave his family for me?

If your spouse goes into the next room every time he calls, always puts his mobile handset on silent mode, and keeps his mobile phone only near him, then you should check his phone numbers, messages or photos. As a rule, men record their mistresses under a completely different name, for example, “Vasya office.” You need to take note of such names. Check the man's phone

1. Underwear. If your spouse has been choosing underwear for himself for a long time, trying to wear something sexy and beautiful, then you should do one experiment - give your husband torn socks. If he doesn't want to put them on, then there's something wrong here. Most likely, your husband is cheating on you and plans to take off his shoes outside the home.
2. Alcohol. Have you noticed that your spouse often returns from work a little drunk, even though he has never drank alcohol before? As a rule, men try to mask the foreign smell of a woman in this way.

Why your ex will never come back

And although you want to believe that your ex-lover will someday return, this is not always the case. If he does something from the list, then most likely he will never return:

• the man stops any communication with you, does not call or write;
• blacklists on social networks;
• starts an affair with another woman;
• speaks poorly of you among friends and tells how you ruined his life;
• you parted hard, it’s likely that one of you cheated.

Intimacy

For some, sex is one of the components of a relationship, but for others, it is the most important component. And some men return to their former partners solely because they have not found another girl with whom it would be just as good in bed. If for some women a union built purely on sexual relations is unacceptable, then for others it is more than satisfactory. For some, an emotional connection is important, but for others, male libido and the ability to use it to their advantage are enough to be happy.

What does a woman need to do to get her ex back?

A young lady who has broken up with her lover and wants to return him should not provoke scandals. Psychologists recommend adhering to the following tips:

• do not write angry messages;
• do not pester your loved one with endless calls;
• do not push for pity;
• avoid discussing relationships during a chance meeting with your loved one;
• show that you are independent and positive;
• Organize a date yourself if your spouse does not offer it;
• think over your image, the main thing is that it is natural.

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Why men come back after a breakup - men's opinion

Initially, it all comes down to the fact that they are interested in how his former passion lives. And if there is nothing interesting in her life, then he may not appear in her life soon.

And if her personal life has improved or career growth has occurred, this arouses interest and indignation at the same time that he did not become a participant in such cardinal events in her life.

If a couple has children, then the man considers it normal to appear regularly in the life of his ex. Sometimes such appearances can cross boundaries when he expresses a desire to stay overnight or asks to borrow money. Some even consider themselves entitled to kick out their ex’s new boyfriend, citing the fact that he is the father. On a subconscious level, they try to protect their offspring from the influence of another man.

Sometimes gentlemen decide to return because he does not want to start a new relationship and pursue another woman. With the ex, everything is simple, he knows all the approaches to her. In addition, some spiritual closeness pushes men to write or call their ex-lover when difficult life situations occur.

Results

After parting with your beloved man, life does not end; you should not spend days thinking about how to get him back, how to understand his motives, whether he should wait for his return. Accept the breakup as it is, give time to get over the emotions, don’t hold back your tears. Regardless of the outcome, you need to be able to preserve yourself, the confidence that the future will definitely be wonderful. It is impossible to immediately realize that your loved one left because he was unworthy to be there; it takes time. So give it to yourself, go through the pain of denying the loss, get angry, analyze the past, cry again and be reborn in a new, free form. And if he asks you to return, first consider whether you need a rushing person, and, if so, forget everything that happened before, build a new, strong, happy union.

Share your stories in the comments. Let's discuss whether it is worth forgiving betrayal? Should you give a second chance to someone who abandoned one?

How does a man feel after a breakup?

For women who are used to taking decisive action, it is difficult to understand why men often return after a breakup. Male psychology has certain characteristics. The guys who initiated the breakup are relieved.

Tired of endless scandals and misunderstandings, a person wants to be left alone. If there were no good reasons for the separation, the man may soon feel devastated and regret what happened.

As a rule, a man’s pride does not allow him to express emotions openly, which does not have the best effect on his nervous system. To suppress his mental suffering, a person can do the following:

1. He goes on a drinking binge. Often, after a breakup, men begin to abuse alcohol. This behavior can have negative consequences. But most often, after some time, the man is forgotten and returns to his previous life.
2. Immerses himself in his work. Parting with your beloved can provoke an attack of workaholism. In such a situation, a man devotes all his time to work and tries to avoid any communication with the female sex. Thanks to this, he distracts and increases his self-esteem.
3. He is interested in extreme sports. He learns to fly a hang glider, conquers mountains or takes part in fights without rules. Thus, he tries to avoid depression by releasing adrenaline.
4. Frequently changes sexual partners. By changing his ladies every night like gloves, he asserts himself and emphasizes his own importance.
5. Starts a new romance. Most men are not ready for a new serious relationship immediately after a breakup. But the care of a new lover helps to survive the separation.

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Advice from psychologists

If it is not possible to visit a specialist, you can learn universal useful advice from eminent psychologists who will help you cope with emotions and not drown in apathy:

• There is no need to throw hysterics, showdowns and other “heart-to-heart conversations” while resentment is tearing up in your chest. It is necessary to learn to control emotions, at least in society and in communication with him. Give yourself time to cry alone, get angry, scream, throw out the pain. When you feel ready to talk, start trying to make contact.
• Analyze yourself. Just don't focus on appearance. If a man loves, he will like the extra weight and the tendency to wear the same jeans on all occasions. Look deeper in the mirror, evaluate your behavior, attitude towards yourself and towards him. Maybe you should improve your education, read books, study new things, find a hobby so as not to get hung up on one person.
• Do not try to hasten the return of your loved one. When experiencing a breakup, there are 5 standard stages, everyone goes through them, including their ex-partner. But the speed depends on the internal readiness to survive the breakup.
• Don't feel sorry for yourself, don't make others feel sorry for you. To be driven, downtrodden means to be lonely. Only strong, independent people attract and hold men. No one leaves those who know themselves and value their time and hobbies; on the contrary, they steal their attention.
• Do not agree to continue the sexual relationship only. It's not uncommon for exes to suggest rekindling feelings through occasional sex. But communication will not move forward from the dead point. He will drop by only for the sake of intimacy.
• When renewing a relationship, start with a clean slate. Do not carry over old quarrels into your newly built life. A frank conversation cannot be avoided, but all grievances must be left in it, and sincerely, so that they do not come up in subsequent quarrels.
• Don't talk about how you suffered. There is no need to tell how painful and lonely it was. There is no need to stroke his pride or destroy the constructed image. Stay proud of yourself for returning the love. Be real, but confident, self-sufficient.

What to do if your ex doesn't come back?

Breaking up with a loved one is not easy. But no matter what's going on between you right now, stay strong and stay positive. Whatever happens, move on with your life. You may even be grateful to him for leaving you.

Don't worry or wonder if your ex-boyfriend will come back. Better focus on your own life. Many women claim that as soon as they began to live their old lives, it was at that moment that the ex expressed a desire to return.

Now you need to focus on self-love. Don't blame yourself for your emotions, which may overwhelm you. Instead, listen to your heart. At the moment, the best idea would be to take some time for yourself, remember your hobbies, meet with friends and take care of yourself.

To get help and specific recommendations from a professional psychologist, watch this video right now. Click on the screen below:

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Drunk calls and messages

There is a good saying: “What a sober man has in his head, a drunk man has on his tongue.” Alcohol has the ability to intensify whatever is being felt at the moment. So if you're upset, drinking is not a good idea.

In this regard, how to understand that your ex misses you can be because he starts writing and calling while drunk. But there are 2 options:

1. He thinks about your relationship and misses you, but is still in a state of pendulum, that is, he doubts whether it is worth renewing the connection.
2. Hopes for a reunion, but doesn't know how to do it.