Femininity through the eyes of men: which women are considered attractive

Femininity through the eyes of men – what is it?
Someone will say that a man loves with his eyes, so beautiful makeup, smart clothes, a fashionable hairstyle, and a sports figure are important. Of course, at the beginning of dating, external data is assessed, but then intelligence, a sense of humor, inner strength and spiritual values ​​come first. Without them, any woman will seem like just a beautiful doll. From this article you will learn:

• What does femininity mean?
• What is femininity like?
• How to develop femininity
• What should a feminine girl look like?
• How should a feminine girl behave in society?

What is femininity

Sometimes guys see only a friend in an attractive and cheerful girl. Why is this happening? Perhaps the answer lies in the definition of femininity.

Femininity is a traditional combination of various character traits that are inherent or expected of the weaker sex: softness, sensitivity, tenderness, caring, vulnerability, humility. In some cultures, femininity is associated with motherhood and sexuality.

Of course, different peoples and different eras understood femininity in their own way. For example, in ancient Chinese philosophy the weaker sex was considered passive, and in Indian mythology, on the contrary, active. In a patriarchal society, the main female virtues were marriage, motherhood, and home economics, but in the modern world the relevance of these qualities is decreasing.

There is no universal set of qualities that characterize the weaker sex. However, there are ideas and expectations about it. What, according to men, is femininity?

Problem from childhood

To be honest, as a psychologist, the frivolous ideal is not very close to me. So I will offer my understanding of femininity - a positive attitude towards your gender and your body. And therefore this concept does not correlate with the love of pink dresses or manipulation of men. To be feminine means to accept your sexuality in the broadest sense of the word and find many advantages in it

And whether you’re wearing stiletto heels or wearing a helmet and a fire hose is not so important

Alas, the truth is that not all representatives of the fair sex are delighted with their own bodily capabilities and limitations. Some desperately resist the idea of ​​motherhood, others suffer from feelings of inferiority and fiercely compete with men. Others quietly hate their bodies as a source of frustration. To paraphrase the classic, there are many unhappy people, and everyone is unhappy in their own way.

The difference in the experience of one’s own gender should be sought in communication with the closest person – the mother

. A parent, satisfied with her marriage, child, and friendly support, demonstrates femininity every day, as a matter of course. But the mother, exhausted, irritated, having long forgotten about self-love, is a different story. “My pregnancy was a nightmare”, “men love cheeky people, but you and I are not like that”, “you know who is fixated on their appearance.” These sincere, but not the most constructive, maternal beliefs are the building blocks of our ideas about sexual relationships.

Without wanting it, the unhappy mother broadcasts: being a woman is a so-so job. It is joyless, difficult, dangerous. It is not surprising that, having learned her mother’s lesson at a young age, the girl completely forgets about her charm. She seems to be trying to belittle female nature in order to avoid the vicissitudes of fate. Growing up, such a girl can become her favorite boyfriend, a strong specialist - anyone, but not a beautiful woman.

The main types of femininity through the eyes of men

1. External femininity.
   The basis of sexual attractiveness is, of course, external data. A chiseled figure, luxurious hair, big eyes and plump lips have always aroused delight and desire among men. What should a girl look like to be considered feminine and desirable? What attributes are important? Many men say that long hair turns them on. They ask their lovers to grow their braids and look at the thick curls of other ladies. This addiction has historical roots: in Rus', a woman always wore a braid down to her waist. However, in the 21st century, when the rhythm of life dictates its own rules, it is more important to have clean, well-groomed hair and a neat, modern hairstyle. A beautiful figure is not a tribute to fashion, but an indicator of health and activity. There is no need to strive for thinness, the main thing is to have a toned body with strong muscles, eat right and exercise. A beautiful figure will add attractiveness and self-confidence to you.

   We'll leave heavy boots, torn wide jeans and shapeless sweaters to the stronger sex. Light dresses, airy blouses, high heels - here it is, femininity through the eyes of men, irresistible and inspiring. Add pastel colors, transparent fabrics, soft textures, and you will get the perfect look.

   Previously, bright, provocative makeup was an attribute of women of easy virtue. Since then, little has changed; men still prefer to see women with delicate, natural makeup, and excessive interest in cosmetics is considered vulgar and vulgar.

   An impression of a person is formed in the first five seconds of acquaintance. Of course, during this time it will not be possible to analyze each part of the girl separately. In a split second, the entire image is covered and all the details are noted: makeup, manicure, hairstyle, skin condition, style, demeanor, posture. Therefore, self-care should be an integral part of everyday life.

2. Inner femininity.
   If everything is more or less clear with external femininity, then it is very difficult to characterize internal femininity, since it depends on the subjective ideas of each individual representative of the stronger sex. Internal femininity through the eyes of men is something completely unique, an individual set of qualities inherent in a particular woman. This is what makes you fall in love at first sight, do something crazy, and lose yourself in another person. There are several traditional qualities that are associated with feminine virtue. For example, calmness, friendliness. Hysteria, aggressiveness and irritability do not make a woman beautiful. And at the same time, she must be able to show her claws, protect her territory from intruders, in order to become a reliable rear for her lover.

   Trust and flexibility are also valued in men. Guys don't like being bossed around, told what to do, or lectured. It is not for nothing that there is a division into the stronger and weaker sex. A man should want to protect his beloved, and not sit under her thumb.

   True femininity through the eyes of men is the ability to actively listen, delve into the interlocutor’s problem, empathize, have a wealth of knowledge to maintain a conversation, make people laugh and relieve tension, and keep secrets.

   You can often hear that a woman is allowed to be emotional, but a man should hide his feelings. But you shouldn’t hide behind this phrase and go to extremes, losing control and frightening your lover with hysterical outbursts, streams of tears or unbridled fun. You need to express emotions without strain, naturally, not accumulating them in yourself, but sharing them with others in conversations and constant communication.

   Read also:  What to write to a girl in the first message so that she responds 100%

   And of course, the main manifestation of femininity is motherhood. The birth of a child is not just a biological function, it is a miracle that reveals the true essence of a woman and makes men bow in reverence before the feminine principle.

Affectionate and feminine - similarities and differences

Affectionateness is a personality trait. It is characterized by a greater need for tenderness and empathy. Affectionate people experience emotions intensely, sympathize with others, and take other people's problems to heart.

The concept is narrower than femininity. If a woman is feminine, she is affectionate. But an affectionate girl is not necessarily feminine. Femininity includes a lot of qualities. Affectionateness is one of them.

A feminine woman takes care of loved ones, empathizes and has compassion. At the same time, she remembers herself and her aspirations.

Three common myths about femininity through the eyes of men

Every young lady in her dreams saw herself as a fatal beauty, a conqueror of hearts, without having the slightest idea what guys need. This has given rise to many false judgments about male preferences.

1. Big breasts are feminine!
   Unfortunately, many girls are sure that only external data is important to guys. In pursuit of far-fetched beauty standards, ladies torture themselves with diets, resort to plastic surgery, abuse cosmetic procedures, while sacrificing their individuality and uniqueness. It is generally accepted that all men are greedy for a magnificent bust. It is unknown who created this stereotype, but according to numerous surveys, women with small breasts are just as popular with the opposite sex as busty ladies.
2. Long slender legs are the key to success for men!
   Long slender legs certainly attract the eye, if only because they are not so common. But they certainly cannot guarantee a successful marriage. However, many girls forget about this and, in pursuit of male attention, wear indecently short skirts and high heels, which are uncomfortable to walk in. And in response they receive only immodest comments and suggestions from guys. Perhaps this is the secret of femininity through the eyes of men? Deliberate protrusion of any parts of the body does not make girls more desirable and prettier. Only natural beauty can win a man's heart. Individual unique style and the desire to be oneself speak of the integrity of nature, inner harmony and self-acceptance. Such a woman is a valuable life partner, which means there will be plenty of attention from men.
3. Character traits.
   According to surveys, external data still does not play a major role in determining femininity through the eyes of men. Beauty is only one of the components of this deep concept. Women's virtues cannot be limited to a slender figure, regular facial features, good manners, and the ability to behave in society. Any external beauty becomes boring over time. The French don't go to the Louvre, the Portuguese don't enjoy sunsets on the ocean. And only inner beauty is limitless in its manifestations and therefore cannot become boring. A man wants to see next to him not a charming doll, but a strong, loving, gentle, caring woman. However, the presence of these traits still does not guarantee success in men, as many ladies mistakenly believe. The stronger sex is not so limited in its preferences. There are men who like daring, eccentric or, conversely, infantile, capricious, weak-willed ladies.

So what is the secret of femininity? True femininity defies clear definitions. This concept is subjective, and everyone puts their own meaning into it. A woman often consists of contradictions, spontaneous thoughts and actions, but still there is a trait that is valuable for all men - the ability to empathize and understand. Without mutual participation in each other's lives, it is impossible to build strong relationships.

Attractiveness criteria: experiment

We invited a group of students into the laboratory, where they were photographed and videotaped while they interacted with other people or told something.

We made three assessment groups

The first assessed attractiveness by seeing only the face, the second only the body, and the third paid attention only to clothes. To do this, we processed the photos and videos accordingly - so that each group saw only their “site”. Another group of judges had to rate overall attractiveness

For example, how much they liked this person, would they like to become friends with him, would they like to start dating, etc. This way we could control for different attractiveness criteria

Another group of judges had to rate overall attractiveness. For example, how much they liked this person, would they like to become friends with him, would they like to start dating, etc. This way we could control for different criteria of attractiveness.

We found that dynamic attractiveness (in the video: how a person speaks, expresses emotions, etc.) received higher ratings than static attractiveness (in the photo: face, body, clothes). We came to the conclusion:

The dynamic expression of individuality (manner of speaking, emotionality, gait) is the main component of a person’s charisma and attractiveness. Moreover, this individual style can compensate for the lack of physical beauty.

In other words, there are many people who are not classically beautiful, but who are still attractive to others. We have no control over hereditary beauty, but attractiveness depends not only on it. It consists of both appearance and the unique behavior inherent in a person.

Translation, original author Ronald E. Riggio. Photo credits: jpalinsad360, Pierina Diez.

Editor's comment

I completely agree with the author that there is no single standard of attractiveness. No matter how many photoshopped actresses wink at us from glossy covers, a beautiful “picture” alone is not enough to create deep feelings.

There is something touching in the way she holds the mug... Something whimsical in his unruly hair... Something cozy in his love for knitted sweaters... The combination of unique details is what attracts us to a certain person, like a magnet. And the set of these details is different for everyone. For each of us, a love potion would consist of different elements. So feel free to be yourself to the fullest.

Ideal femininity through the eyes of men

Having analyzed the point of view of representatives of the stronger half of humanity, the criteria for female virtue include:

• inner softness;
• respect and trust for the beloved;
• non-conflict behavior;
• affection, tenderness;
• love for children;
• fit figure;
• long hair;
• absence of bad habits;
• desire for personal growth;
• chastity.

And no matter how much men claim that they like daring and promiscuous ladies, they then marry calm and affectionate ones, because with them they are more reliable and stable.

Some statistics about femininity through the eyes of men

Due to the fact that our society is constantly changing, a group of sociologists decided to find out what femininity is through the eyes of modern men.

A survey was conducted on a social network in which men were asked to name words, necessarily nouns, that are associated with femininity.

The final result was as follows: beauty - 19, fragility - 11, tenderness - 10, sexuality - 9, voice - 6, weakness - 4, mystery - 3, warmth - 1, intelligence - 1, caring - 1, look - 1, grace - 1.

1. Beauty.
   The concept of beauty is controversial and subjective, each man has his own. However, she is leading the poll. When clarifying the answers, it turned out that femininity through the eyes of men is beauty, which is expressed in grooming and neatness.
2. Fragility.
   Alas, such a number of votes for fragility proves that the stronger sex still prefers slender women. Of course, the survey results cannot be extrapolated to all men, and every girl will find her other half. However, such indicators can become an incentive for the fairer sex to take care of their body and keep it in sports shape.
3. Sexuality.
   In a survey about sexuality, respondents primarily mentioned the girl’s external characteristics. Of course, everyone’s preferences are different, but guys have one thing in common: they don’t like the provocative, promiscuous, vulgar behavior of a lady. A girl should be sweet and beautiful, but at the same time discreet and modest.
4. Be yourself.
   Society imposes many stereotypes, among which individuality is lost. People strive to appear rather than to be, abandoning their essence and true self. It is difficult to see the true soul behind all the masks. And femininity through the eyes of men is, first of all, self-acceptance, which is impossible without the ability to be yourself in any circumstances.

Afterword

Femininity is a complex of external and internal qualities attributed to women and expected from them. Men's ideas about femininity are approximately the same, and we have examined them. But every man has his own ideal of a woman. Femininity is only one aspect, and not every image of an ideal woman is inherent. Some people like strong-willed, masculine girls.

Femininity or its absence does not indicate the happiness or unhappiness of a woman, a couple of a man and a woman. What is more important is what image a woman is comfortable in, what kind of man she needs and what kind of woman he needs. Read more about female ideals and male preferences in the article “Which female images are attractive to men from a psychological point of view.”

How to develop femininity

Is it possible to develop femininity in yourself, and how to do it? Of course, it is possible, any girl can do it, just follow a few simple truths:

• Be positive, live here and now, learn to enjoy every moment of life. Happiness cannot be in the past or future, it can be felt by living in the present. Smile despite adversity, because life is unique, just like you. Men are drawn to positive girls because fun is contagious and provides a resource for overcoming difficulties. Don’t take on the burden of problems, live for today and be open to everything new.
• Don’t immediately fall into the arms of the guy you like, be unavailable, force yourself to conquer. After all, the more expensive the victory, the more valuable it is. But don’t overdo it, adequately assess the gentleman’s capabilities so as not to push him away with an impossible task.
• Perhaps a feminine girl will not stop a galloping horse and will not enter a burning hut. Femininity implies weakness, awakens the desire to protect and excludes the dominant position of a lady.
• Take care of yourself, monitor your diet, the condition of your skin, hair, face, play sports, work on good manners and correct speech, dress stylishly and tastefully. Femininity through the eyes of men is a harmonious combination of external attractiveness and spiritual values. To enrich your inner world, visit theaters and read books. And if you are not sure that you can handle taking care of your appearance on your own, then contact a stylist, go to a beauty salon, read forums or specialized literature.
• Appreciate romance. If a gentleman gives you a bouquet of wildflowers and invites you for a walk in the park, appreciate his attention, do not rush to refuse because you were expecting a bouquet of a thousand roses and an invitation to an expensive restaurant. Commercialism does not make a woman look good. Again, a man’s willingness to spend a lot of money on you does not indicate his love. But the desire to share with you what is truly dear and important is the best proof of the seriousness of intentions.
• Genuine feminine virtue is revealed in the ability to love, to put the interests of another person above your own. When the feelings are mutual and a woman is under the protection of her beloved man, her femininity blossoms. After all, you no longer need to worry about tomorrow, carry the burden of daily problems alone and look warily into the future.
• Inspire your lover to achieve their goals, achieve success and open new perspectives. Only a worthy companion can give a man a resource for moving forward and personal development. Your beauty, love, understanding, empathy and support will not allow him to break down in difficult times and will be a reliable support for family happiness.
• True femininity through the eyes of men is a plate of delicious cabbage soup and a dish of rosy pies!
  The ability to run a household, cook well, and take care of children is undoubtedly an important component of female virtue. An ideal-looking lady with a gentle soul, a successful career, a tidy home and a couple of children will be a goddess for her husband. The feminine essence, although complex and multifaceted, is still amenable to change. Even an unbridled and tough lady can develop femininity. It is enough to curb your feelings, learn good manners, pay attention to your appearance and behavior. Girls acquire most of the properties that characterize femininity in childhood. They adopt their mother’s demeanor and clothing style, learn to cook, attend the theater for the first time, and get acquainted with classical literature. And if, as an adult, you realized that there is some kind of gap in personal development that was not filled in childhood, then do not be upset, everything can be made up for. Nowadays, the popularity of educational trainings, seminars, and psychological counseling is growing. If you feel that you cannot solve a problem on your own, go to class. There you will find yourself among like-minded people and under the guidance of professionals who will help you deal with what is oppressing you. And don't despair at all. Any lady can become a feminine, harmonious and integral person!

The most feminine women of Russia of the 21st century

Russian women are known all over the world for their beauty and charm. Classic Slavic femininity - long, thick, brown hair, light eyes and skin.

Rating of the most feminine women in Russia of the 21st century:

• Valentina Zelyaeva - model;
• Sofia Rudyeva - Miss Russia 2009;
• Irina Shayk - model;
• Ekaterina Guseva - actress;
• Yulia Snigir - actress;
• Maria Alexandrova is an actress.

Everyone can be feminine. The main thing is to work on yourself and accept those shortcomings that cannot be corrected. Being feminine does not mean being perfect. Only a confident lady will be desirable.

If you don’t want to give up and are ready to really, and not in words, fight for your full and happy life, you may be interested in this article .

What should a feminine girl's appearance be like through the eyes of men?

1. Cloth.
   A self-respecting girl will never wear dirty, torn or wrinkled clothes. Things are a continuation of our “I”. Therefore, people who value themselves keep all their things clean and in order. As already mentioned, femininity in the eyes of men is associated with dresses and skirts. Focus your attention on choosing appropriate clothing. Replace shapeless trousers with light skirts, and T-shirts and turtlenecks with blouses and blouses. When choosing clothes, take into account the features of your figure, emphasize its advantages and disguise flaws. Give preference to things that highlight your silhouette and avoid baggy wardrobe items. Clothes should not be vulgar, so avoid deep necklines, huge slits and ultra-short lengths. Feminine things are easy to distinguish from masculine ones. Your boyfriend will never wear a lace blouse or a fur coat. However, if you have doubts, do not hesitate to ask your date what he thinks about a particular item of clothing that you are about to buy. You will flatter him with your question.
2. Makeup.
   Makeup is a kind of clothing for the face. The same rules apply here as when choosing a wardrobe: do not overdo it with colors and saturation and maintain a single style. Feminine makeup through the eyes of men is natural tones that emphasize natural beauty. Bright, flashy shades are only suitable for special occasions, such as parties and holidays. Makeup should not turn your face into a mask, distort your features, or overwhelm you with its brightness and richness. As in clothing, give preference to restraint, sophistication and sophistication.
3. Handbag and shoes.
   Beautiful shoes are one of the sexiest attributes of a woman's wardrobe, and a handbag can complement them perfectly. Pumps, ballet flats, and sandals will harmoniously complement a feminine look, unlike boots with thick soles, sneakers and felt boots. A girl keeps a thousand important little things in her handbag. Depending on taste, style and needs, a lady can choose a clutch or a spacious shoulder bag. But make sure that everything in your appearance is in harmony and corresponds to femininity. If you like to carry a lot of things with you, choose a suitable bag model, but do not buy a backpack or a shapeless bag, they will ruin your delicate image. It is better to choose a handbag in neutral colors (black, white, brown, beige), this will increase its versatility.
4. Personal care.
   Manicure, pedicure, haircut, coloring, visit to a cosmetologist, massage - these procedures have become an integral part of the lifestyle of a modern lady. But don’t forget the simple rules that will help you always be feminine in the eyes of men:

• Take a shower or bath every day and keep your hair and body clean. It is impolite to appear in public with dirty hair and the smell of sweat.
• Use a moisturizer every day to care for your face and body. Soft skin is an integral part of a delicate feminine look.
• Monitor the condition of your nails. If you don't get a manicure or pedicure at a salon, make sure your nails are clean and neat.
• Take care of your hair and style it daily. There is no need to build complex hair structures on your head; limit yourself to simple manipulations. The main thing is that the hairstyle looks fresh, neat and modern.
• Wear antiperspirant deodorant and perfume every day. While it’s difficult to overdo it with deodorant, it’s very easy with eau de toilette. Apply perfume in moderation so as not to “suffocate” the people around you.
• Maintain good oral hygiene: brush your teeth twice a day for at least two minutes, use dental floss and mouthwash, and visit your dentist promptly. Bad breath can destroy any feminine appearance.

Appearance

The symbol of femininity is long hair and dresses. You don't have to grow your braids or have elaborate hairstyles. But you should get rid of crew cuts and the like. If there is no inner femininity, such hairstyles will make you look like a man. Soft curls, frivolous curls or straight shoulder-length hair will add charm. You don't have to do your hair every day. But clean and healthy hair is a must.

Flowing dresses or formal skirts will emphasize the femininity of the figure and add mystery. Heels - even low ones - will introduce fragile instability into your gait and visually lengthen your legs.

You should not put too much makeup on your face or drench yourself in perfume. A slight understatement of the smell will make men come closer. It is better not to overuse cosmetics, but to prefer a healthy complexion and the radiance of a snow-white smile.

How should a feminine girl behave in society?

Feminine nature is manifested in gestures, grace, gait, timbre of voice, facial expressions. A true lady can turn a man's head with one movement of her hand. Refined manners, wit, and the ability to correctly express one’s thoughts always attract the attention of the stronger sex. Behavior should be in harmony with appearance. A beautiful girl in a delicate dress swearing loudly with obscene words will, at the very least, cause bewilderment and regret.

To make your feminine look complete, pay attention to the following points:

1. Avoid sweeping and sudden movements with your hands, do not slap other people on the back, and do not clench your palms into fists.
2. The gait should be light and smooth, the back straight, shoulders down. Don’t copy a model’s gait; in everyday life it looks unnatural.
3. There should be no harshness, rudeness, or raised tones in intonations. Men also don't like shrill voices.
4. You should not laugh loudly and loudly, as men do. Avoid homeric laughter, snorting, or a wide open mouth. But don’t be shy to laugh, shyly covering your mouth with your hand or silently giggling, because laughter is a natural human emotion.
5. In an era of advertising thinking and declining interest in books, correct speech and the ability to express your thoughts are your main trump card. An intelligent man will not ignore a woman who can easily carry on a conversation on various topics.
6. Watch your facial expressions, try not to wrinkle your forehead, bite your lips, puff out your cheeks, squint or bulge your eyes. Kindness, relaxation and sympathy should be read on a woman’s face.

Here are the types of women men like:

Thank you for reading this article to the end.

Hello, my name is Yaroslav Samoilov. I am an expert in the psychology of relationships and over the years of practice I have helped more than 10,000 girls meet worthy soul mates, build harmonious relationships and return love and understanding to families that were on the verge of divorce.

More than anything, I am inspired by the happy eyes of students who meet the people of their dreams and enjoy a truly vibrant life.

My goal is to show women a way to develop relationships that will help them create a synergy of success and happiness!