The topic of betrayal is very relevant and, at the same time, painful. Finding out about the betrayal of a loved one is terrible, especially if he refuses to call it cheating. So where is the line between deception and simple communication? Is a kiss considered cheating, and correspondence on the Internet considered betrayal? Not everything is as simple as it seems at first glance.
Concept
What is cheating in a relationship? To begin with, it is worth defining the concept of treason.
There are two people who are dating or living together .
In the process of close contact, they have certain obligations among themselves.
If these obligations are violated, then we can already assume the presence of betrayal.
Treason, meanwhile, can be physical and moral.
- physical &ndash, intimate relationship, kissing with another person,
- moral – a connection in which emotions are also involved.
Treason can have either one of the options or combine both.
When defining treason, one should also be guided by the norm of what is permissible. For some, simple correspondence on social networks, flirting with the opposite sex is already a betrayal, another person will consider that physical contact without love is acceptable and is not considered a full-fledged betrayal.
There are couples who, due to their own convictions, allow relationships on the side and do not consider this something offensive.
In a toxic relationship , as a rule, one person loves and is emotionally dependent on a partner, the other takes liberties on the side, without considering such behavior to be wrong or immoral.
The internal contradiction between one’s own attitudes and actions is of great importance.
What for one person will be a betrayal, for another – just harmless entertainment , diversifying their personal life.
Why do we look for our other half and decide to cheat:
From the wife's side
The difference between male and female infidelity is that girls seek joy on the side 50% less often. This is due to the fact that physical betrayal is less common to them. They live as a family and never think about betrayal. After all, the family hearth becomes the meaning of life. The main reasons for betrayal are the following factors:
- Having experienced a whole range of the most joyless feelings, the spouse often comes to the idea of \u200b\u200brevenge. This helps you feel needed and numb the pain of disappointment.
- When sex plays a key role in a relationship, physical “outing” becomes a way to satisfy secret desires.
- Every representative of the fairer sex simply needs affection, care, and tenderness. In family life such things are often ignored. And the desire to be significant often develops into something more.
- Mental betrayal becomes an outlet when the spouse completely stops paying attention to his companion.
Is this betrayal or not?
Can treason be considered a full-fledged betrayal?
Or is it just a human mistake, a personality trait that allows such behavior.
If the other party has suffered severe moral, emotional or physical harm , then infidelity can be regarded as betrayal. In cases where the consequences are not felt too clearly, it can be classified as a negative stressful situation.
Betrayal does not exist in a couple where the relationship has already come to an end, there is no love, the marriage is on the verge of divorce. Here, betrayal is regarded as a search for the other half.
Fidelity in marriage is also about preserving health, since intimate contact increases the likelihood of sexually transmitted diseases, as well as preserving the purity of the family and genes.
Often, the search for connections on the side is regarded as compensation for the fact that something is missing in the relationship. If a person is caught cheating, he will try to instill in his partner a feeling of guilt for not paying him due attention.
In fact, the reasons are much deeper. Even with a lack of intimate relationships, a loving and respectful spouse remains faithful or would prefer to end the relationship and start a new one than to have an affair on the side.
If a partner allows himself to have affairs, it means that initially there is no respect , concepts of morality, fidelity, or unity in the couple.
In a harmonious relationship, there is no desire to seek intimate connections outside the union.
When considering whether betrayal is treason or not, it is important to take into account the emotional component .
Why do women cheat
It's no secret that many men do not value their wives at all. Moreover, as time passes, they completely stop paying attention to them. And women want attention and affection. Everything is quite simple.
How does a woman cheat? The psychology of the behavior of an unfaithful wife may not be entirely clear. On the one hand, the lady becomes cold and insensitive towards her husband, but at the same time, the latter will try to hide the betrayal from her chosen one.
What will this behavior lead to? Sooner or later she will admit to cheating, or her husband will figure it out himself.
Why do women start cheating on their spouses? This only happens because of the inattention or bad attitude of men towards their wives.
A woman cheats because she is looking for something better, and a man cheats because he wants to find something new. The difference here is, of course, obvious. Therefore, if a woman feels loved and desired, she will never cheat on her husband. All men should know about this.
Who is a cheater and what does it mean to cheat?
A cheater is a person who violates certain obligations in a couple. By default, when people get into intimate relationships, loyalty to their partner becomes a priority.
The cheater ignores the need to be with only one person and allows himself relationships on the side, one-time or permanent.
An extramarital affair can happen once and never happen again . Either it becomes habitual, partners change, or a permanent mistress or lover appears.
In the second case, we can say that the person is a traitor. He broke his promise to be faithful and caused his permanent partner distress.
Those who decide to have extramarital affairs often do not take into account that their spouse feels, understands, suspects that there is a third person.
As a result, irritation, aggression, and a depressed mood appear.
The cheater justifies his actions by saying that his partner began to treat him differently, but in fact such negative behavior was caused by a lack of fidelity .
Is a kiss considered cheating?
For one, a kiss is a betrayal, while another will calmly react to such an act. If you look at it, there are different types of kisses: business, friendly, family, parental, but intimate ones are considered treason. It is important that each person determines his own attitude towards such an act. When a partner consciously does not repeat this and keeps boundaries, it is possible to forgive.
Flirting
Flirting - loving courtship, coquetry. Here you need to understand the person's intentions. It happens that they simply communicate with you politely or try to make friends, there is nothing reprehensible in this. But if the partner himself is not averse to flirting, the girl needs to know about this trait. After all, everyone loves compliments and approval in their direction.
It's okay to flirt to boost your self-esteem rather than ruin someone's relationship. It is not the process of flirting itself that is considered cheating, but its concealment from a loved one. This means that he has internal complexes that he is trying to solve in this way.
Sex
Entering into physiological contact with a partner is considered completely unacceptable by most people. Although many explain that treason is a betrayal of the feelings of a loved one, and sex does not always imply their presence. It is a powerful emotional connection, a long-term affair, and not intimate intimacy itself that negatively affects the relationship in a couple. Behind such actions there are always problems that people do not dare discuss and are accustomed to hoarding within themselves. Therefore, to understand this, you need to observe, hear and understand each other.
Psychology
The psychology of female and male infidelity is fundamentally different.
Women and men cheat differently. This is due to their psychology, reaction to stress, cultural traditions, and upbringing.
Loyalty, as an internal quality, a human attitude, should be instilled by parents from childhood.
Cultural characteristics are such that infidelity by the stronger sex is treated more tolerantly . Even the upbringing itself, the example of the parents, develops in the boy the idea that having an affair, having a mistress, is acceptable.
As a result, men are tolerant and condescending towards their own infidelities.
For many representatives of the stronger sex, going left is, first of all, to satisfy physical needs and prove their worth and women’s interest in him.
Having sex on the side, the husband may not experience any emotions at all.
After this, he returns to his wife, whom he loves and appreciates as a companion and mother of his children. Feelings of guilt may arise at the beginning, when going to the left has not yet become something habitual.
In the future, moral standards and feelings of conscience are erased. Convicted of betrayal, a man can promise that he will break up with his mistress and will no longer look for outside connections. For some time this may indeed be the case. But nature and habit take their toll .
With women the situation is different. Emotions come to the fore, and only then the satisfaction of the physical need for contact.
Sex on the side of a man is often not even considered cheating. However, if his partner or spouse has an intimate relationship with another, this is perceived as a betrayal.
Here, a sense of ownership and the opinion that has developed in the process of evolution is manifested that a woman should remain faithful no matter what.
What is considered adultery?
When entering into marriage, a man and a woman swear an oath of fidelity.
This means that they must not have intimate or other relationships with anyone other than their spouse.
Can a kiss be considered cheating? This is not yet an intimate relationship, but already physical contact. For a man, a kiss most likely will not mean anything, although this is already the first stage towards infidelity.
For a woman, a kiss also has an emotional component, so it can be regarded as some form of betrayal.
Having an affair with your spouse on the side is already a betrayal, a violation of the oath of fidelity.
From a legal point of view, intimate relationships on the side, single or permanent, will be considered treason, and they may be grounds for divorce.
Is it worth forgiving?
Any type of adultery is a manifestation of weakness.
This fact will forever sow the seed of mistrust between you.
A person who betrayed once can do it again. This thought will come to you from time to time. Can you live with this? And do you need a spouse you can’t rely on? It happens that after betrayal comes repentance, a desire to return everything. If the love has not faded away, and both have a desire to reconcile, it’s worth a try. Experienced psychologists can help you cope with this situation.
However, spiritual betrayal is the most terrible betrayal. If a person fell in love with someone other than you, the only right decision would be divorce. How can you live next to someone who imagines someone else in their thoughts? Live for your family? Children? Run without looking back. If you stay, you will feel a sense of betrayal throughout your life, you will feel pain every day when you look at your spouse. Children will grow up under terrible stress, and then they will certainly repeat this experience in their personal lives. Spiritual betrayal can ruin your entire life. Is this what you wanted for your children?
Having overcome yourself, you need to move on. Only by letting go of the situation will you be able to forget what moral betrayal is. You will learn to live without it. As soon as this happens, your life will be filled with meaning, your soul will be healed. Soon you will find your soul mate, with whom you can forget about betrayal forever.
What does it mean?
If a husband cheats on his wife or a wife cheats on her husband, what could this mean?
In marriage, the norm is to remain faithful to your partner, even despite the circumstances that provoke an affair on the side.
If one of the partners decides to have an affair on the side, it means there are problems in the family.
Reasons for family betrayal:
- partner does not satisfy physically,
- lacking emotions
- family life seems boring, monotonous,
- partner "tired"
- the spouse shows indifference,
- there have been no unifying factors in the family for a long time; in fact, the relationship is at the stage of discord,
- the inner “nature” of a person, which allows him to have connections on the side with ease and without pangs of conscience.
If cheating is discovered in a marriage, this is a reason to pay attention to how harmonious the relationship is and whether the partners are comfortable with each other sexually and emotionally.
The best way to find out the reason is to talk.
How to approach the situation?
Psychologists advise not to take what happened seriously, because each person is individual. What seems unacceptable to some, others perceive as friendship. Therefore, it’s worth finding out everything, talking, and then drawing conclusions and deciding what to do. Even the most experienced psychologists cannot give an exact answer as to why this happens, but there are several most important factors:
- The love of independence is ingrained from childhood, so the fear of losing freedom takes precedence over common sense and thus forces one to show who is in charge.
- Career problems and low self-esteem lead to self-doubt. It is important for such people to constantly feel self-love. It is not surprising that their shortage is sought outside.
In order for a man not to doubt his importance, he needs to show his wisdom. Create the illusion of what he is missing.
The most important thing is not to lose faith in love and loyalty! Remember that everything depends on you. As long as you sincerely want to save your family and sincerely love, it will exist.
