Definition
Sociopathy is a human emotional disorder, manifested in antisocial, impulsive, sometimes aggressive behavior, and inability to form close relationships. People suffering from sociopathy are not adapted to life in society. They are conflict-provoking, regularly cross the line, and violate socially prescribed laws and rules. They do not know how to empathize, have compassion and pity, they are cynical, self-confident, deceitful. They have difficulty experiencing disappointments and are unable to get rid of aggression peacefully. They tend to blame others for everything, do not learn from their mistakes, sanity is the norm for them.
Recently, people have increasingly begun to cover up their antisocial behavior by claiming that they are sociopaths, but not simple ones, but highly active ones. In fact, a true sociopath is unable to admit that he is not like that.
Sociopathy and social phobia should not be confused. The second term means fear of committing any public actions, actions that will be evaluated by the public.
Don't appeal to conscience
Many, when discussing how to defeat a psychopath, think that the best way to overcome an aggressive person is to try to appeal to his spiritual qualities. But you need to understand that unbalanced individuals do not have a conscience as such. They do not understand the norms of behavior; for them there is nothing unacceptable or unacceptable. Therefore, a psychopath cannot have compassion, regret, repentance, or care about the feelings of others. He doesn't have a clear understanding of what is right and wrong.
Moreover, if you appeal to the conscience of such a person, he will begin to treat his interlocutor with even greater contempt. He will see him as a weak person. Therefore, when thinking about how you can defeat a psychopath, you need to understand that only complete composure will help to slightly cool down the ardor of such a person. Otherwise, it will only spread out even more.
Twelve Signs of a Sociopath
Like any other disorder, sociopathy has characteristics that matter; they can manifest themselves immediately or over time, it all depends on the person. The main thing is not to think that this is a temporary phenomenon and everything will pass. You need to be attentive to people, and if any of the signs arise and recur, it is better to protect yourself and exclude such a person from your social circle. Due to his tendency to behave aggressively, this must be done very carefully, especially in the case of too close relationships.
Inappropriate actions
A person is aware of existing rules and laws, but does not accept them. He goes beyond limits constantly, acting either planned or in a fit of emotion, depending on the situation and goals. The antisociopath considers his inadequate decisions to be normal, and if you tell him that this is not so, he may completely agree, but his conscience will definitely not torment him.
Deceit
Constantly lying, even in situations where it is not necessary, is a common state for a sociopath. It turns out that he is believable, despite the improbability of the stories, it is quite difficult to catch him lying. And sometimes it is fraught with bad consequences. To deceive for the sake of profit in order to gain trust is completely consistent with their worldview. This is typical for “intelligent” sociopaths who, from early childhood, had good grades at school, read books, etc.
Criminal behavior
Often sociopaths become thieves, swindlers or even murderers in adulthood. Any disagreement with their opinions, desires or demands can lead to disastrous consequences. To get out of a difficult situation, such a person may commit illegal actions.
Lack of conscience
A sociopath never feels guilty, even for terrible, immoral acts. One of the points of view of psychologists is that they lack conscience at the genetic level.
Manipulation
Many sociopaths are highly intelligent, creating the image of a smart, intelligent person without studying. Their special thinking gives them the opportunity to manipulate people, to cause pain for profit. They know how to calculate the actions of others several steps ahead and hide their true goals. Some of the famous killers had a high IQ level, this helped them deceive and evade the police for a long time.
Sociopaths easily find weak points in a person and put pressure on them. Gloomy people searching for the meaning of life are excellent targets for them. They will slowly and quietly take over a person without his participation. But strong people are avoided, they are uncomfortable in this situation, it is important for them to control the situation.
It is worth taking a closer look at the people around you who, without the slightest hesitation, deceive others to achieve what they want.
Indifference
A sociopath cannot have close relationships because pity, love, and respect are alien to him. He never feels compassion for anyone. He doesn’t care what consequences his actions cause, even the most terrible ones.
High pride
Sociopaths are narcissists and are only interested in talking about them and not about anyone else. Often their opinion of themselves is inflated to incredible proportions. Moreover, there may be no reason for this. Sociopaths do not want to hear the opinions of other people, they do not perceive it, there is no attachment to others. They are capable of looking at themselves in the mirror for hours, fixing their gaze, and completely not noticing what is happening around them. Such people need universal admiration and react sharply negatively to criticism. The opposite of narcissists are empaths.
Unjustified risk
A sociopath loves risky situations, and it doesn’t matter whether the risk is justified or not. Adrenaline gives them great pleasure. Sociopaths don’t care about their own safety, much less those around them. Often, in order to obtain emotional satisfaction, many mentally ill people resort to sexual violence.
Aggression
Cruelty and anger towards other people, girls, and defenseless animals are normal behavior for sociopaths. In a fit of aggression, such a person pounds the wall and throws things. The peak of behavior is physical violence against weak people. A sociopath understands that he cannot cope with a crowd alone, so he will never go against a group of people.
Intimidation
A person with dissocial disorder needs self-affirmation at the expense of others like air. If he cannot prove his superiority morally, then he turns to physical force. When a sociopath does decide to enter into a relationship, it is important for him to feel total control and superiority over his partner. Any rejection of the situation causes aggression and inappropriate actions.
Failure to learn from mistakes
Inflated self-esteem explains the inability to adequately accept criticism. Even having made a serious mistake, he will not change his actions, and, after a while, he will make it again. Because of this, their level of self-development lags behind other people, and their behavior cannot be called mature.
Damage to someone else's property
A kind of challenge to social rules of behavior. When parting with a “close” person, the sociopath tries to take as much property as possible, and what he couldn’t take away, he destroys.
To correlate sociopathy with the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-10), it must have at least three of the listed signs.
A sociopath is a person who has not found a place for himself among the ethical consumer goods called the social environment.
Andrey Betsenny
Don't expect a miracle
Some wives, husbands or parents believe that the people they love will sooner or later appreciate all the sacrifices their loved ones make. They believe that the psychopath will eventually learn to control himself or look at everything that is happening in his life from the outside. Some people also feel guilty. For example, mothers of psychopaths stubbornly reproach themselves for the fact that they overlooked something and raised a monster. Throughout their lives, they feel guilty about this and decide to “carry their cross.” But this is a fundamentally wrong position.
Each person chooses the path to follow. If he was born a psychopath or became one due to certain events, then no amount of proper upbringing would stop him. No matter what “hothouse” conditions a psychopath lived in, a piece of aggression was in him from the first days. Therefore, there is no need to blame yourself. You also can’t rely on the situation to “resolve” on its own, like a tumor. This will not happen until drastic measures are taken.
If a psychopath is your child, then you need to take him to a specialist. Or go to a psychologist yourself and ask for his advice on how best to behave with your own blood. If the psychopath is the husband, then the most correct decision would be to break off such a relationship. Of course, you can try contacting a family psychologist, but you need to understand that in this case the problem lies much deeper than the standard misunderstanding between spouses.
Causes of sociopathy
Dissocial disorder has not been fully studied, and specific causes have not been identified.
Psychologists have different opinions:
- Genetics. Sociopathy can be inherited or is a genetic defect.
- Upbringing. Another group of psychologists believes that the emergence of sociopathy is a consequence of improper upbringing or the absence of it at all. Problems arise with the outside world, the inability to control aggression and show compassion for others, because no one has ever felt sorry for him.
- Imitation. Someone in the family or social circle with authority behaves this way. And a weak person, wittingly or unwittingly, begins to imitate behavior in order to have the same power over other people.
- Clinical disorders (schizophrenia, mental retardation, psychosis) or traumatic brain injury.
A mental disorder can be caused by several factors at the same time. According to statistics, men become sociopaths more often than women.
"Rule of Three" and breakup
If the topic of how to morally defeat a psychopath is too complex, and we are talking about a sadistic husband, friend or work colleague, then experts advise taking the least difficult path. First of all, you need to pay attention to how a psychopath behaves. If this is not the first time he insults, humiliates, or, even worse, beats, then you should not tolerate such an attitude towards yourself. The first few times you can forgive such behavior and try to understand the person. However, if he drives household members into hysterics with enviable frequency, then it is worth moving on to drastic measures.
Only ending the relationship will help minimize losses and preserve your psyche. Although this seems like a very difficult and impossible step, you need to understand that as soon as you manage to free yourself from a psychopath, a new life will begin, calm and happy.
Types of Sociopaths
People with dissocial disorder are either active or passive. Regardless of this, the sociopath's life priority is to satisfy his own needs. The only difference is that they achieve it in their own way.
Active type - does not hide the entity. Often provokes conflicts and is in a constant state of irritability. Gives the impression of an unprincipled, selfish and arrogant person, unable to control himself.
The passive type is latent, hiding its real “face”. Able to behave normally, communicate with others, and keep himself under control. It can still flare up unexpectedly, and only at such moments can one recognize a sociopath.
Five self-defense techniques
1. Choose in business with your mind, not your heart. If you meet an entrepreneur who is too charming, too charismatic, or too emotional, turn on the “orange danger level,” just in case. And measure seven times before cutting once.
2. An attack on a victim is almost never complete without a “charm” stage : the sociopath wants to make sure that he has found the right “buttons” in the victim and hooked him.
Always keep a distance from strangers, this will greatly increase your safety.
Photo from gawker.com
3. If you are a boss , demand from your partners and subordinates that they document any proposals and promises and also justify them on paper. Check references of new employees carefully.
4. If you are an employee of a company , do not try to accuse a sociopathic colleague of intrigues against you. This will only inflame him. Collect the facts, look for other injured colleagues - and go to the boss together.
5. If management is pushing you to sign dubious documents or to participate in “gray schemes,” your refusal must be firm and unequivocal. Otherwise, this happens and you will have to go to prison.
However, the sociopathic boss will definitely “revenge” you if you refuse for your moral superiority. Therefore, having given him a “diagnosis”, start looking for a normal employer.
Sociopathy in different groups of people
Mental health problems manifest themselves differently among genders.
In men, sociopathy manifests itself in the form of despotism, which they direct at people weaker than them. Acting antisocially is a habitual way of life for them, and they almost always do bad things intentionally. Causing physical and moral pain to others gives them pleasure. Asocial men have been aggressive since childhood.
The tendency to cheat or betray your spouse, blaming her for it, is another sign of a sociopath. Obtaining moral satisfaction from risky actions alone or with someone else. Narcissists, chronic liars, who react irritably or aggressively to resistance. They believe that they have all the rights over the people around them and can dispose of them.
Sociopathic men, openly violating generally accepted rules, challenge the world around them. Characteristic qualities are the inability to control impulses, take responsibility for one’s actions and shift it to other people.
More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.
Not every sociopath becomes a monster; the transformation is accompanied by other psychological disorders (schizophrenia, psychosis). Therefore, having recognized a sick person, you do not need to immediately put a “stigma”; it is enough to be attentive to his words and actions.
In women, sociopathy manifests itself more covertly. A woman who cannot empathize and sympathize is a sociopath; she considers her needs to be her only needs. He simply does not notice the desires of others. Children suffer the most from such women, because the psychology of a sociopath is as follows: to assert oneself at the expense of the weak. They rarely resort to physical violence; they mostly destroy the environment morally. We can say that female sociopathy is insensitivity, a lack of emotions inherent in nature. You will never feel comfortable and cozy with such a woman.
Five examples from Belarusian business
The stories below may turn on the red light in your brain when you meet a sociopath. However, if the meeting has already taken place, you probably realized it yourself: unlike ordinary business conflicts, your life has most likely changed a lot.
1. Double “divorce”. Several large Minsk businessmen suffered from a man who posed as a “colonel” of one of the security forces. As one of the victims found out, he had nothing to do with this organization - and, nevertheless, he brazenly resolved minor business conflicts. After which he began to take money from clients, involving them in projects with “big and quick profits.” At first, the first 2 times, I fulfilled the agreements, brought money even a day before the deadline. And for the third time he offered to play big (they say, you can hit a big jackpot, but you need money today). And then he disappeared from the “access zone” for a long time.
What saved such a person from prison was not only his outstanding resourcefulness, but also the sense of shame that the victims experienced. None of them risked being branded a “sucker” among their colleagues.
Photo from rogersinspiration.com
2. From a sore head to a healthy one. The company, which once topped the ratings in its market segment, was going through hard times when the owner hired a young and ambitious commercial director. He painted impressive pictures of quickly overcoming the crisis and crushing competitors. All this reminded the boss of his former glory years.
Soon, top managers from the old guard began to complain to the owner that the actions of the new favorite were only worsening the company's situation. But who will believe people who have brought only bad news in recent years?! In addition, the commercial director skillfully shifted the blame from a sore head to a healthy one - to his opponents.
He soon left the company. Together with the collected client base. And his former colleagues spent months afterwards resolving the conflicts he provoked.
3. Escape from obligations . A foreign investor has created a large company in Belarus. Concluded several risky deals, gained loans. But he soon became bored with this business, and the company inevitably went bankrupt. However, the investor did not put her through the bankruptcy procedure, but simply left the country, abandoning the people who believed him.
The company's debts, in accordance with legal provisions on subsidiary liability, had to be paid by its Belarusian partners. Some of them went to prison.
4. Stealing ideas . At meetings, the boss more than once promised bonuses for valuable ideas. One employee came to him to share a very promising idea. The boss praised him, and at the meeting he presented the idea as his own. And a week later he accused the employee of intrigue and trying to pass himself off as the author of an idea overheard in the boss’s office.
And, it should be noted, after talking with a sociopath, you may well feel like a person who actually did it. Such is the power of suggestion and persuasiveness of this type of people, based on a complete lack of conscience.
5. Lure ideas . Idea generators among sociopaths are as common as plagiarists.
And it seems that it was sociopaths who came up with the phrase: “To launch a startup, you need friends, family and fools.” In our example, the entrepreneur did without “friends” and “family.” And as a “fool” he attracted an old acquaintance, persuading him “for the sake of creating a new Google” to sell a three-room apartment and even go into debt. Having spent other people’s money on personal needs, the sociopath found a thousand explanations for “why the new Google didn’t take off” - and closed the case. When his ex-partner, almost on his knees, begged him to help pay off his debts, he grinned, citing the argument: “It’s just business, nothing personal!”
Photo from the site sib-hf.net
Rules for dealing with a sociopath
If signs of a dissocial disorder were noticed in a colleague or acquaintance, then you can calmly, gradually distance yourself from him.
If a sociopath is your boss and you don’t want to change your job, then it’s important to follow a few tips:
- keep the maximum possible distance;
- do not talk about personal topics;
- carefully check the documentation before delivery;
- do not provoke a conflict (the main thing to remember is that for a sociopath, a small thing is enough for an outburst);
- keep your emotions under total control;
- do not succumb to provocations, manipulations, do not be afraid.
It is advisable to stay away from a sociopath, literally and figuratively. If you cannot avoid communicating with an unhealthy person in this way, then you can use one of the options for the development of events.
- For a sociopath to voluntarily lag behind, you need to communicate as boringly as possible. Calmness and emotionlessness are the key to saying goodbye to a sociopath.
- This option completely contradicts the previous one. An incessant stream of words without the opportunity for him to add anything of his own will also push away a sociopath. The main thing is not to overdo it and not provoke him into irritability or aggression.
- Find a stronger accomplice - Sociopaths fear people stronger than themselves. Therefore, when confronted with a strong spirit, he himself will withdraw from communication.
If you still cannot limit yourself, then you need to be careful not to give the sociopath the desired reaction to his actions. Do not accept his help, do important actions while he is not around. Do not give the sociopath reasons and leverage for manipulation. If he feels superior, it will be even more difficult to protect himself from him.
- Describe yourself.
- White fluffy obnoxious creature.
Max Razin
It's clear that they don't care
Sociopaths do not understand your feelings and are often simply unable to feel guilt when they hurt your feelings. Moreover, they show little to no reaction to many situations that would evoke one or another emotion in most other people, and this makes them slightly robotic.
This quality of theirs is incredibly infuriating and infuriating, but at the same time it is one of the clearest signs that you are dealing with a sociopath.
In addition, you should know that this sign does not necessarily appear at the very beginning of the relationship.
Many sociopaths are masters at manipulating people, and at the beginning of a relationship, they can literally envelop you in ostentatious attention and affection, and only when you are firmly in their network, show your true colors
Ways to combat sociopathy - how to cope on your own
The first step towards getting rid of dissocial disorder is taming the negativity. Simply put, sociopathy occurs as a result of an incorrect perception of the world around us and our own self. As a result, a person withdraws into himself and is constantly overcome by anxious thoughts. The longer this state lasts, the more negativity accumulates due to a feeling of hopelessness. It is advisable to experience the current circumstances while talking with someone. If there is awareness of the problem, it is better to seek help from a psychologist. The main desire to alleviate the symptoms of sociopathy is to reduce negativity, which will allow you to extract emotions and free yourself from fears.
The next step is curbing anxiety and aggression. They prevent a person from normally assessing the situation and perceiving the environment. When overwhelmed with aggression and anxiety, a spark is enough for an emotional “explosion.” Once you can get rid of these irritating factors, treatment will be much easier.
Sociopathy has not been fully studied, so there are no techniques yet that can completely cure a person. A sociopath is unlikely to accept the fact that he is unhealthy. If awareness has come, given the number of factors that provoke sociopathy, it is difficult to cope with the problem without the help of specialists. With help and desire, you can teach yourself to control emotions and impulses.
Prepare for the meeting
When talking about how to properly communicate with psychopaths, you need to understand that every word spoken to such people can become the starting point of a scandal. Therefore, if there is such a possibility, then before meeting or talking with an unbalanced person, it is worth considering in detail what exactly will be discussed.
Of course, it is very difficult for an unprepared person to predict exactly how communication will go. Therefore, the best solution would be to visit a specialist and ask him to prepare several phrases that can be used when talking with a psychopath.
Famous sociopaths
There are famous sociopaths among historical figures and contemporaries.
Gaius Julius Caesar, or Caligula, the Roman emperor, was distinguished by his cruelty and composure. Ancient authors assessed him as a voluptuous tyrant-madman. During the four years of ruling the empire, his policies alienated the ruling class of the slave-owning class. He increased treasury expenses for construction and established ideas about what an empire should be like.
One of the famous personalities whose actions shook almost the whole world is Adolf Hitler. The disdain with which he exterminated everyone who, in his opinion, was not worthy of existing is a clear sign of sociopathy. And the lack of conscience and feelings of guilt contributed to gaining power. Only the superior sociopath Joseph Stalin was able to adequately resist Hitler.
Josef Mengele was a doctor from Auschwitz who conducted experiments on people. The number of people maimed exceeds 10,000. Despite the nickname "White Angel", his decisions were cruel. To determine how many times a person's bones could heal after being broken, he broke children's legs, let the bones heal, then broke them again. Never used anesthesia, stitched twins together and tried to change the color of the iris through chemical elements.
The famous serial maniac, cannibal Andrei Chikatilo kept the entire Soviet Union in fear. He has more than 50 victims, whom he tortured for a long time, slowly killing. The youngest was only seven years old, the oldest was 49. “Addiction” did not prevent him from living a family life and becoming the father of two children. The wife did not notice her husband’s abnormal behavior until recently. The psychotherapist who studied Chikatilo believed that he had a split personality: the first lived with his wife and children and was not able to kill a chicken, the second brutally raped, killed, chopped, bit and ate his victims. Cold-bloodedly luring, manipulating desires. Moreover, he did not touch those who refused the offer to go with him, but switched to searching for a new victim.
Jeffrey Dahmer is a cannibal from Milwaukee. Confessed to 17 murders. He lured victims to his home under plausible pretexts, drugged them, raped them, killed them, and dismembered them. During his arrest, a huge number of body parts and photographs of mutilated victims were found in his apartment. He showed no signs of inappropriate behavior; he is classified as a sociopath.
John Gacy - killed 33 people, including teenagers. After the arrest, 29 bodies were found on the territory of his house, four of which he threw into the river. He was sentenced to death, the residents of Chicago celebrated what was happening during the execution of the sentence, and after that they organized a city holiday.
All of these people are examples of sociopathy and other related mental disorders at their maximum. Many people with dissocial disorder manage to exist in society without causing such terrible harm to people.
Sociopaths know right from wrong, but do not feel the emotional need to conform to the rules of behavior that conforms to social standards.
M. Thomas
There's no need to be ashamed to leave
If you ask a specialist how to get rid of a psychopath, he will say that the best way is to avoid him or leave each time the unbalanced person begins to behave inappropriately.
As a rule, this advice is most often given to those who are forced to live with psychopaths. They can be husbands and wives, as well as children, brothers or sisters. In this case, it is difficult to erase a person from your life, no matter what he is. Therefore, you need to develop an action plan in such a way as to minimize communication during those periods when the psychopath is most aggressive and active.
As a rule, everyone in the family knows well why one of the household members loses his temper. For example, a son may become aggressive every time his favorite football team loses a match. If this happens, then you should find something to do in another room and try not to contact the hot-tempered young man for a while. After a certain time, he will calm down, and you can communicate with him again.
Diagnostics
You can take the “Am I a Sociopath?” test on your own.
Interpretation of results:
- 20-22 - you do not have any signs of a sociopath, you are not in danger of it;
- 15-19 - you are not a sociopath, but deviant behavior is present;
- 10-14 - you are unlikely to be a sociopath, but all the signs of a manipulator and a mild personality disorder and behavior are evident;
- 6-9 - an unadvanced form of sociopathy is present;
- 0-5 - advanced form of sociopathy.
Without additional research, no conclusions can be drawn based on the test results. Only a psychiatrist or psychotherapist can make an accurate diagnosis.
