/ Narcology news / What to do if your husband drinks
Many women experience alcoholism in the family. This misfortune can happen both at the beginning of family life and in long-established relationships. It is important to address the problem in a timely manner. Taking action in the early stages of addiction is much easier than in chronically advanced cases.
What to do if your husband drinks
Alcohol addiction, like any other, does not arise suddenly. Take a closer look - does your spouse drink beer every day? Alarm bell. The problem grows gradually with small steps. And measures must be taken in a timely manner.
In the early stages, to stop your husband drinking, try the following:
- The first thing a woman needs to do if her husband starts drinking is to figure out why he is doing it. Look at yourself from the outside. Perhaps he is looking for relief from his grumpy wife and everyday problems in alcohol. If you don’t want to live with a drinking husband, take care of yourself. Get in order both externally and in your way of thinking. Don't stand still, develop;
- Don't help him get drunk. Your husband drinks every single day - voice that you don’t like it. Stop buying alcoholic drinks even when he asks. Remove alcohol from the house;
- For a man to quit his addiction, pay more attention to him. Devote time to relaxing and having fun together without alcohol;
- You can protect yourself from alcoholism by making joint plans and achieving common goals. Start a new business or hobby together that can replace alcohol;
- If you develop a habit of drinking after work, show your man that you are waiting for him. Let him be more comfortable at home than with his drinking buddies.
- The situation becomes more complicated when a man drinks every day. At the same time, he becomes embittered and aggressive. There are several ways to solve the problem:
- A specialist will help you get rid of alcohol addiction. Convince you to contact a narcologist for professional help. Gently guide your husband to this decision. No one stops drinking by force. Greater personal motivation is needed;
- Fight alcohol addiction on your own, including using folk remedies. This is a very complex and time-consuming process. Treatment at home is not as effective as professional help.
Advice! Your spouse drinks every day and becomes aggressive, raises his hand against you or the children, drinks away the last of his money, insults you - you should seriously think about kicking him out or leaving yourself.
Risks of living with a drinking man
No woman, when she gets married, intends to live with an alcoholic. Some people do not even notice their chosen one’s pathological craving for alcohol for a long time. However, the intoxication of the body accumulated over many years eventually makes itself felt by mental disorders and deterioration in the physical condition of the drunkard. Living with such proximity becomes simply unbearable.
If you don’t start therapy in time, alcohol addiction will only progress - for some faster, for others slower, but in any case, this problem is fraught with family life:
- financial troubles (an alcoholic will drink away his money, and then begin to take valuable things out of the house and sell them cheaply);
- scandals, quarrels, hostility towards each other;
- damaged family reputation (the inappropriate behavior of an alcoholic causes condemnation);
- degradation of the personality of a drunkard husband and more serious mental disorders;
- aggressive behavior of a drunken husband, reaching the point of assault, cruelty;
Answer the following questions honestly:
- Is alcohol consumed systematically and constantly?
- Have the strength of drinks and the frequency of drinking increased recently?
- Is there aggression towards family members or insults?
- Is alcohol the main expense in your budget?
- The person doesn’t realize the problem and doesn’t want to quit?
If the answer to at least one of the above questions is yes, then the situation requires an urgent solution, which depends only on you. If you can’t cope on your own, seek advice from a psychologist or help from a social service.
- Decide how to deal with alcoholism while you can still influence the situation in the family:
- He began to drink so much that you are ready to separate - think about how to get rid of your husband. Do not make this decision rashly or under stress. Take care of your future - material well-being, place of residence, children.
- If you want to continue to bear your heavy cross, this is everyone’s personal choice. Find options to help you stop drinking beer every day or get rid of stronger alcohol.
If your husband is an alcoholic, what to do and how to behave correctly
The consequences of living with an alcoholic father for children
No matter how difficult it is, some wives live with alcoholics for years and endure their abuse. Some are forced to do this due to lack of housing, others depend on their husbands financially, others simply love their spouse very much, even though he is a drunkard, or do not want their children to grow up without a father.
However, a child who constantly sees conflicts arising from alcoholism cannot grow and develop normally. His somatic and mental health are at risk because:
- in families with a drinking father, quarrels and violence against children, including beatings and sexual harassment, are common;
- a drunkard father and a mother who argues with him all the time cannot raise a harmonious personality;
- due to the lack of proper control over minors in families of alcoholics, the likelihood of injuries and accidents is high;
- a bad example is contagious: children of drinking parents can early become addicted to alcohol, cigarettes and drugs;
Psychologists have developed 5 basic tips to help you:
- Don't help him get drunk. If a man drinks heavily, stop buying alcohol, giving him money, or delivering him home from drunken parties. Don't become his drinking buddy and interlocutor. Let him take responsibility and worries;
- Deprive him of attention. If you verbally scold him, but in reality still feed him delicious food, wash him, treat him and give him a hangover, he doesn’t need to quit or change. A person feels comfortable in such a situation and the motivation to change anything is completely absent;
- Don't isolate yourself. Perhaps your relatives or friends will help you heal. Share your experiences;
- My husband started drinking - ignore it. Live your life, not just his. Find yourself a hobby, new friends or interests;
- Do not allow yourself or your children to be offended or insulted. If you can’t stand up for yourself, call the police, call the rescue service, or seek the help of neighbors.
Attention! Show once that you do not intend to endure, and you won’t have to prove it anymore. Do not be afraid of his aggression; alcoholics are usually cowardly, especially with those who are morally stronger. But humility and resignation inflame them even more. Don't provoke, but don't be afraid to stand up for yourself by any means necessary.
Reasons for drinking at home
It is impossible to single out a single cause of alcohol addiction. However, there are known risk factors that increase the likelihood of developing the disease. Men drink at home for the following reasons:
- burdened heredity, that is, one of the person’s close relatives also suffered from a pathological addiction to psychotropic substances;
- genetic susceptibility;
- early onset of abuse - in childhood or adolescence;
- frequent stress;
- active advertising of alcohol in the media;
- personality traits – increased suggestibility, anxiety, infantility, etc.;
- tendency to hypochondria, depressive symptoms;
- features of the environment in which the culture of regular drinking is accepted;
- influence of colleagues, friends, relatives;
- family conflicts;
- death of loved ones;
- family dysfunction – parental divorce, lack of emotional attachment, interpersonal problems;
- low level of intellectual development;
- the actual psychotropic effect of ethanol on the central nervous system;
- relieving emotional stress;
- attempts to make life easier for oneself due to one’s addiction, parasitizing on the kindness of family members;
- problems at work;
- false belief that alcohol makes men more attractive in the eyes of women or the team;
- low self-esteem;
- financial instability.
In most cases, people resort to false excuses, often inventing them out of nowhere. The progression of addiction only aggravates the situation, as the patient’s psyche changes. Delusional ideas (jealousy, persecution, deception) and personality degradation appear.
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How to stop your husband from drinking
Try to do this yourself, at home. At the moment, many medications and folk remedies have been developed. Seek advice from specialists. Each specific family situation must be considered individually. All people are different, and what helps one will be completely useless for another. Try different approaches and options. No one can figure out better than you how to wean your husband from drinking.
If the addiction to alcohol is no longer under control, only professional help from a narcologist and psychologist will help cure an alcoholic husband. But he must come to this decision consciously. Without an internal desire to refuse to drink alcohol, compulsory treatment is 99% useless.
The power of a woman
Experts in human energy say that feminine energy has enormous power. She can fill a home with grace, fill a man, protect children, and even change negative birth scenarios. She will be able to influence a man (reflect him) if she learns to respect him “in a smart way” and note the good traits of his character. After this, all his business will go uphill.
If she builds a partnership with him based on trust, then he automatically reflects this state and wants to become active and caring.
In practice, this doesn’t always work out, or someone doesn’t try hard enough. How many times have we discussed with friends all these “secrets” of a happy life, they don’t work everywhere, there are too many nuances.
One friend decided to tell her husband everything, share everything with him, even gave him her entire salary (into a common money box). But in the end they got divorced. All this beautiful advice does not take into account two things:
- It’s difficult to change a mature person
- all people are different. It is necessary to give to one, and it is better to take from another.
How to help you stop drinking beer every day
Don't know what to do to stop your husband from drinking? Use our tips. In the early stages, you can try to wean yourself off alcohol. But remember that you will face a daily struggle. How to stop drinking beer every day? Create the most unfavorable conditions for him.
- Husband drinks alcohol after work with colleagues - return home together;
- Prohibit drinking any alcohol at home;
- Avoid socializing with family or friends who drink;
- Spend more time together;
- Leaves home to drink beer - limit your finances;
- Start communicating with like-minded people - teetotalers;
- Do not go to places where you can drink beer or other alcohol.
Nobody will give you universal advice on how to stop drinking beer or stop your husband from drinking. Take advice from a psychologist. All this is comprehended by the method of practical actions, and sometimes tragic mistakes. Fight the problem. To get rid of the habit of drinking alcohol every day, be persistent and systematic, and your efforts will be crowned with success.
The big picture
Alcoholism is considered a multifactorial disease that affects not only the person himself, but also those around him. Those closest to the addict are the first to feel the negative consequences.
According to WHO estimates, more than 237 million men worldwide suffer from complications associated with drinking alcohol. Most of them are someone's husbands, fathers and children.
The alcoholic uses excuses to justify his addiction. There are such variants of regular abuse:
- on weekends, often Every weekend without fail;
- with friends, when not a single meeting is complete without intoxication;
- on frequent business trips;
- home drinking - a mandatory bottle of beer or a glass of vodka after a working day, with dinner;
- rare, massive use - once a week or every week;
- binges for many days (often more than a month), when the opportunity arises - holidays, vacations;
- hidden - alone in small portions.
In Russian regions, the culture of regular consumption is a perverted part of the mentality. Most addicts at the first stage do not consider themselves sick, denying or not noticing the problem. Men retain the ability to function normally in society for a long time and perform work duties.
The largest sales volume in the Russian Federation among alcohol-containing products is vodka. Somewhat less people drink wine and beer, as well as other low-alcohol drinks. At the same time, they do not take into account the use of surrogates, from which more than 40-50 thousand people die every year.
When you shouldn't do anything
In what cases should you not try to save a relationship:
- a man openly declares a lack of feelings, the reasons may be different, up to the appearance of another woman, in this case it is unlikely to be possible to save the family, and sacrificing children and oneself is simply pointless;
- not only you, but also your children have psychological problems;
- you feel hostility towards your spouse, there is no more love.
And remember the main thing: if you experience fear of your husband, excessive depression, a feeling of hopelessness and fear for your child, you can always seek qualified help by calling the crisis helpline for women. Believe me, any problem can be solved, the main thing is not to despair.