In our environment we very often meet people with different personalities and temperaments. Some behave brightly and expressively, gathering other people around their active personality, while others shun society to some extent, behave with restraint and aloofness. As a rule, it is quite difficult to establish contact and interact with such people. But in order to understand exactly how to approach communication with a silent person, you need to know what reason lies behind his detachment. It could either be something personal or just a personality type.
Why silent people are smarter and more interesting than everyone else
People who speak less than others often face misunderstandings from others. The fact is that almost all of us like to listen to juicy gossip and crazy stories. With his impeccable communication skills, the “soul of the party” always attracts the attention of the public. And he is quiet, keeping silent in the corner of the room. What is he doing? Just listening to others?
Well, in fact, this aloof man has the sharpest mind of all present. Yes, it's hard to believe, but it's true.
Society is accustomed to labeling silent people as naive and gullible simpletons. But you most likely underestimate your opponent, because behind the not very confident personality of a quiet person there may be a person with enormous intelligence.
Below are 7 reasons why quiet people are smarter and more interesting than most other people.
Closedness
It is also important not to confuse concepts such as silence and isolation. Closedness can be called a state of a person when, due to serious psychological reasons, problems with self-esteem, a person refuses to interact with society. These are slightly different, more serious problems with self-awareness, self-esteem and psychological state.
At that time, a simply uncommunicative person may have only slight complexes about himself, shyness or a certain type of temperament, which in no way prevents him from existing calmly in society.
Why people are silent: mental characteristics
On the Internet, the following answers are given to questions like why a person is silent or why some people prefer to remain silent:
The arguments are very different. And yet people want to know the answer. Why do some people remain silent and prefer ordinary silence to an interesting conversation? And there is an answer to this.
What is a silent person called?
Who is he? What qualities does he have?
To find out who he is, it is necessary to understand the characteristics of the human psyche. The reasons for silence vary. Everything depends on the innate properties and qualities of a person. Understanding this, you can distinguish one silent person from another. Determine people's desires and build trusting relationships with them.
Such a person is always silent. According to his natural properties, he will be focused on his thoughts, on his internal states. He thinks a lot and talks little. He doesn’t see the point in talking a lot, and in general leaving his comfort zone, internal focus on himself, prefers written communication.
It is precisely such silent people who are burdened by face-to-face communication. If he is asked a question, do not expect an immediate answer. He needs time to reconfigure from his internal state to external contact with you. And give an answer. Despite the fact that such a reaction does not detract from his intellectual abilities.
Any office will have one of these. Will sit in the farthest corner, in silence and away from direct sunlight. Self-absorbed, detached from everyone. By yourself, alone with your thoughts. Immersed in work, focused within himself. He even forgets about ordinary desires, for example, that he needs to eat.
Psychology
Silence, as a rule, is accompanied by a certain number of features that one way or another form a unique type of this category of people. Most often, silence is accompanied by a sad or thoughtful expression on the face; such people most often make an unfavorable impression upon first meeting.
Also, the most characteristic feature of silent people is that they do not like noisy parties and large groups. They mostly communicate in a small circle of people, they have few friends, and they plan their time in a quiet, calm environment. This is the psychology of silent people.
There is also a certain category of people who have this feature due to certain complexes coming from childhood. As a rule, such people are very embarrassed by the fact that they create the impression of being offended or sad, so they constantly apologize for their “inappropriate” mood in an unfamiliar company, which further increases some awkwardness between people.
In a small company of good friends who know such a person quite well, he can behave confidently and openly, communicate a lot on various topics and not show complexes and silence.
Learn to say little - words and thoughts influence our lives
Unnecessary meaningless conversations greatly waste your energy, especially chatter fed by emotions
When something happens in your life, try one practice - don’t tell anyone about it when you’re itching to tell. Something happens - keep it inside yourself, then you will keep the power and potential of this event within yourself.
Also, when someone tries to involve you in their stories, remain calm and monitor your emotions, do not let them control you and get involved in other people's emotions. Even those around you will notice this - in what aura of strength and mystery you will begin to reside, but in fact you have simply preserved yourself, not wasting it for more valuable exploits than idleness.
Words and thoughts influence our lives. DNA perceives human speech!
Scientists have come to a stunning conclusion: DNA perceives human speech. Her “ears” are truly adapted to picking up sound vibrations.
Pushkin once wrote to his wife: “Don’t spoil your soul by reading French novels.” Our contemporary will only smile at this order of genius, but in vain. Molecules of heredity receive both acoustic and light information: silent reading reaches cell nuclei through electromagnetic channels. One text heals heredity, while the other traumatizes it.
Prayer words awaken the reserve capabilities of the genetic apparatus. The curse destroys wave programs, which means it disrupts the normal development of the body.
P. Goryaev believes that with the help of verbal thought-forms a person creates his genetic apparatus. For example, a child who has taken a certain program from his parents begins to be rowdy and use foul language. Thus, he destroys himself and his environment - both social and psychological. And this “snowball” rolls from generation to generation.
So the genetic apparatus is not at all indifferent to what we think about, say, what books we read. Everything is imprinted into the wave genome, that is, the wave genetic program, which changes the heredity and program of each cell in one direction or another. So, a word can cause cancer, or it can cure a person. Moreover, DNA does not determine whether you are communicating with a living person or with a character in a television series.
How words and thoughts affect our lives
Have you ever thought about how words and thoughts influence our lives?
In fact, they don’t just influence, they shape our reality! And what you say depends on what kind of life you live! If you have seen the film about water, “The Great Mystery of Water,” then you will probably remember that water is capable of perceiving, storing and transmitting information even as subtle as human thought, emotion, not to mention words. Under their influence, the entire structure of water, its molecule, changes, and since we ourselves consist of water, accordingly a person can influence his health and body with words and thoughts. Let's look at the most common phrases in our lives, and what we get as a result. So, let's begin!
Saying - “wow!” - How much do you think you will get for yourself? Of course not! Remember right away, have you ever had such cases when you didn’t get something? Everyone got it, but you didn’t. This situation, the universe’s response to the phrase - “wow!”
Remember how often you say, “I don’t hear anything at all (I don’t see, I don’t feel, etc.). » What do you think these words will attract into your life? - Of course, diseases of the eyes, ears, nose.
By saying and thinking, “I’m fat,” you gain extra pounds.
By saying, “I’m losing weight,” you acquire illnesses and begin to feel worse, since the word “losing weight” comes from the word “thin.” Replace this phrase with “I’m getting slimmer” - and then this thought form will begin to positively influence you.
Is silence always bad?
Silent people do not talk too much and know how to listen to their interlocutor. There is a lot of information noise in the world; people talk without hearing each other. Silent people treat every word with respect and are known as polite people.
Are you ready to stop thinking about your problem and finally move on to real actions that will help you get rid of your problems once and for all? Then perhaps you will be interested in this article .
If grief happens, the introvert does not want to talk. In this case, he simply needs to remain silent. The psychology of a silent person allows you to experience the strongest feelings and experiences, protects you from unnecessary advice and moralizing.
In a conflict situation, the ability to shut up in time will save the relationship. Out of emotion, a person says unnecessary things without thinking about the consequences. In response to such a situation, it is best to show self-control and not participate in the conversation. Silent people do not respond to attacks, they speak only to the point - as a result, the conflict ends.
If it’s uncomfortable to say “No” and refuse a friend, then you can remain silent. This will save you from having to make excuses or tell lies, and the interlocutor himself will understand everything.
The “silence is golden” rule works great in situations where you need to hide your own stupidity. If you do not understand something, then it is better not to enter into a discussion.
The less you say the better
Meanwhile, remain silent
much more useful than chatting incessantly. If you don’t keep your mouth shut when communicating with a person, you risk not only becoming famous for being a chatterbox, but also ruining your relationship. “By washing dirty linen in public,” discussing the intricacies of your illness, the financial state of your family, the bad behavior of your loved ones and children with your mother, friend or work colleague, on a subtle level you are depriving yourself and your loved ones of family protection and opening the energy channel connecting you. This disruption of communication is the cause of numerous problems in the lives of your family and friends, it can even lead to a break in relationships.
Excessive silence
Mental pain and emotional discomfort become the reasons for excessive silence. If a stranger violates your boundaries, then there is a desire not to respond and to protect your personal space silently.
Excessive silence occurs in a stressful situation. Then a person plunges into the inner world, suffers and endures. In this case, silent agreement with what is happening aggravates the situation. A silent person, by his behavior, gives the impression that he is satisfied with everything, even if this is not at all the case. The interlocutor who causes unpleasant feelings may not be aware of this.
If a person is too silent, he cannot start a conversation and respond to his interlocutor. His phrases are monosyllabic, any information has to be pulled out. This behavior occurs at any age and is caused by psychological trauma. Introverts most often suffer; the more pronounced this character trait is, the greater the risk of this condition.
Avicenna, Pushkin, Khayyam and Tyutchev on why you should communicate with people as little as possible
Along a snowy street, at this evening hour, a dog can be heard barking and the west has not gone out, and passers-by come across. Do not talk to me! What will I answer you?
I used to be able to hang on the phone for hours, discussing with my friends who was wearing what, who said what and how they looked. But the time came when I became unbearably sorry for wasting my time on this. After all, there is a wonderful alternative: cinema, music, literature. They do not force us to open our mouths, but fill us to the brim from the inside.
These brilliant rhymes were written by Alexander Pushkin:
Having voluntarily renounced verbosity, I see no benefit in a collection full of words; For the happiness of the soul, believe me, friends, Either too few are all, or one is enough.
In ancient China, wisdom was revered:
Speak only when your words mean more than silence. Don't speak unless it changes the silence for the better.
A fool and a braggart cannot keep secrets, Caution is truly beyond praise. A secret is a prisoner if you take care of it. You are a prisoner of a secret, you just blabbed it out.
Eastern philosophers, scientists and poets lived in times of conspiracies and intrigues, when one wrong, thoughtless, unweighted word could cost a life.
Reasons for excessive silence
Excessive silence depends on the current emotional state and character of the individual. Reasons for reticence:
- Personal experiences. If a person cannot let go of thoughts about troubles, then he cannot carry on a conversation.
- Fatigue, physical malaise.
- Lack of communication skills - most common in adolescents.
- Shyness, fear of communication. Occurs after psychological trauma or negative experience.
- Vulnerability, lack of self-confidence, dependence on other people's opinions.
- Complexes, fear of focusing on shortcomings during a conversation.
- Difficult relationships with parents in childhood.
If a person is usually sociable, but is silent in the same company, then perhaps the team is unpleasant to him.
Women's silence
It is not common for women to be silent, but sometimes they become silent for no apparent reason.
More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.
The fair half does not say a word if there is nothing else to say. Then glances and gestures come into play. Thus, the emotions and feelings of a woman are conveyed.
Another reason for silence is resentment. If feelings are offended, then the girl continues the dialogue within herself. Reluctance to communicate may arise from not knowing what to talk about next.
More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.
If a woman falls silent during a conversation with a man, then she wants to remind you that she is not just an opponent, but a representative of the fair sex. The girl understands that words cannot win, and resorts to body language.
Male silence
Men tend to be silent. A secretive, taciturn gentleman causes a feeling of misunderstanding in women. Reasons why men are silent:
- upbringing;
- fear of being ridiculed or misunderstood;
- fear of appearing in a different role, losing face;
- reluctance to communicate with women because of sad experiences;
- low self-esteem;
- excessive modesty, shyness, indecisiveness;
- rejection of the interlocutor.
Silent men find it difficult to speak in public, meet girls, and go on dates with them. Such personalities do not like telephone calls, but can open up in correspondence.
Alexander Baluev likes to relax in silence. In the acting community, he was known as a silent man who would not say too much. “In a team, sometimes I stop feeling like an individual,” says Alexander.