What is adultery, adultery, what is a sin, what does fornication and adultery mean?

In ancient times, adultery was placed on the same level as adultery. Such actions were condemned by society and church officials. Today, the spiritual and moral level of society has changed, as a result of which for some people fornication has ceased to be a taboo topic.

The foundations of modern society contradict the canons of the Orthodox Church

Adultery - what does it mean?

What is adultery? In marital relations, in the language of science, this is what is called infidelity. Adulter consists of illicit sexual relations, adultery.

The following social phenomena can be called adultery:

a young unmarried man has an intimate relationship with a married woman;
sex between a guy and a girl before marriage;
a married woman sleeps with someone else's husband, hiding it;
intimate caresses and sexual contact between brother and sister;
a person’s fantasies about sex with someone else’s husband or someone else’s wife.

Asya Rakhovich

Psychologist with more than 8 years of experience. Consultant on interpersonal and marital relationships, self-discovery.

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In marriage, betrayal is not limited to intimate relationships between a man or a woman on the side. Adultery is also commonly called the refusal of one of the spouses to fulfill the duties assumed on the wedding day:

the birth of children (in accordance with centuries-old Russian traditions, a family should have many children, because a woman’s purpose is motherhood, this is why she gets married);
participation in the upbringing of the younger generation (a man and a woman who tied the knot took an oath to God that they would raise children together in accordance with high moral and ethical principles);
spousal protection from adultery (to prevent spouses from wanting to satisfy sexual needs through extramarital affairs, they must have regular sex with each other);
mutual assistance (it is believed that the spouses made a promise to God to help each other in everything).

According to the scriptures, adultery is a mortal sin. A person who decides to commit adultery cannot be considered an integral person, because he is devoid of morality.

In ancient times, fornication was criminalized. There are currently no legal sanctions for adultery.

Will such a man really cheat?

If you met and fell in love with a representative of one of the described types, this does not mean that the family is doomed to suffering. After all, love really works wonders. Each of these men has a wound in their soul. You can find and treat this wound before it begins to control your husband.

What is needed to prevent betrayal? You can't tell offhand. But you must understand the risks very well and always be one step ahead. An unenviable fate for a fragile woman. However, some people like to take risks. Even if betrayal happened, you can survive it. You will learn about 19 steps that help you overcome pain and restore relationships in the training How to survive betrayal?

What do you call people who are prone to cheating?

In the Russian language, there are many colorful epithets that people use in relation to those who are unable to maintain marital fidelity.

A married man who satisfies his sexual instincts outside the marital bed is called a womanizer, a stud, a cheater, a fornicator. Sometimes a man who cheats on his wife is called the same scientific term as adultery - adultery.

Spiritual and physical levels of sin

Psychologists believe that it is necessary to separate physical and emotional betrayal. These two types of betrayal are based on completely different motives.

At the physiological level, adultery can be compared to the sexual instinct in animals. It is human nature to get aroused when he sees a naked body. A person is not able to consciously control this excitement. Homo sapiens is able to take control only of his own behavior, but not the process of arousal itself.

Sexologists say that betrayal on a physiological level should be treated leniently, since it is just sexual intercourse, nothing more. The reason for this may be a person’s lack of sexual satisfaction with his marital partner.

The best prevention of physiological infidelity is considered to be maximum satisfaction in sex. To receive it, partners must be interested in each other, try to give each other maximum pleasure.

The second level of sin is spiritual betrayal. It is also called emotional adultery. Such betrayal is based on feelings, and the completed sexual act becomes the result of these feelings. It happens due to a lack of care, attention and tenderness in a couple. Partners live together, but cease to be close people to each other.

When one of the partners cheats on each other on a spiritual level, it is almost impossible to save the marriage. It is in this case that people break up because one has stopped loving the other.

Summarizing

Cheating is a common problem in many relationships. When one partner discovers the other is cheating, there is heartbreaking emotional suffering. Unfortunately, cheating can't always be simply defined as having sex with someone outside of your relationship. Betrayal comes in many shapes and forms, but they are all equally emotionally destructive. Cheating always hurts, but you can recover from it. Talk to your other half more, discuss the fine points of your relationship - and you will be happy.

Adultery in Christianity consequences and atonement

In the Christian religion, as in many other religious systems, adultery is a grave sin. Moses says that adultery is a sin in the seventh commandment of God's Law. The meaning of God's commandment “Thou shalt not commit adultery!” is revealed as follows:

the Orthodox Church forbids a man to look lustfully at another woman;
to enter into an intimate relationship with the wife of another person is the greatest sin (in this case, 3 people become sinners: the cheater, the husband and the wife);
continuing to live a married life with a person who cheats is a sin;
a true believer should not even allow ideas about fornication in his thoughts;
by committing adultery, a person harms himself, his soul and his body;
believers must respect their own bodies, since they are members of Christ;
a person needs to take care of his body as well as the temple of God;
he who enters into intimate relations with a harlot betrays Christ;
fornicators and harlots desecrate the Orthodox Church;
a person must be ready to answer to God for all his actions;
fornication is equally terrible both before and after marriage;
the husband’s body is the property of the wife, and the wife’s body is the property of the husband; third parties cannot encroach on the body of the wife or husband;
spouses should not cause each other pain (both physical and mental);
the surest path to divorce is the deceit of the spouses;
extramarital intimate relationships negatively affect not only adults, but also children raised in these families;
It is better not to communicate with lascivious people;
before cheating on your partner. Each person should think about what feelings such an act will cause in the other half when she finds out about it;
true love is based on chastity and gives a person benefits that adultery cannot provide;
so that betrayal cannot enter the family nest, husband and wife must satisfy each other in bed, show each other signs of attention;
the marital bed must be immaculate;
adulterers go to hell, the road to heaven is closed to them;
marriage should be based on the mutual honesty of the spouses;
It is difficult to pray for people who have followed the path of lasciviousness;
fornication is equated to a person’s denial of Christ;
a fornicator can regain the favor of God and the church only with the help of deep repentance and humility;
the fornicator is a coward who cannot protect his family;
a fornicator is more sinful than a harlot;
seduce someone else's husband, wanting to take revenge on your partner for betrayal, sin;
when entering into marriage, people undertake to remain faithful to each other;
true Christians should not participate in entertainment with dancing and music, because this corrupts the body;
a Christian should remember chastity when choosing fiction;
Orthodox people should not tell vulgar jokes, nor should they encourage such stories told by others;
Orthodox Christians are prohibited from taking part in the activities of public associations where dubious songs are sung;
despite the fact that the modern world is corrupt, Christians should live in purity;
a Christian must resist not only external temptations, but also his own lustful thoughts;
Not only lascivious actions are sinful, but also lascivious thoughts;
an Orthodox person must not use profanity;
any impurities are removed by prayer;

The meaning of the commandment “Thou shalt not commit adultery!” Jesus adds the words that not only adultery in a marital relationship is sinful, but also divorce. This means that remarriage is also a sin.

If a husband or wife cheated on each other, according to Orthodox traditions, they were excommunicated from the church for 15 years. If family people sincerely repent of cheating on their spouse and regularly mourn the adultery committed, then by such actions they deserve God's forgiveness. They can expect that their period of excommunication will be reduced by 8 years.

Additional information: In addition to adultery in the family, Orthodox culture condemns such non-traditional forms of love relationships as homosexuality, swinging, and promiscuity among unmarried people. This is stated in the fourth rule of Gregory of Nyssa. But the desire of modern people to indulge in pleasures leads to the fact that they ignore the provisions of the Holy Scriptures.

Divorce is too complicated

Many men surveyed by sociologists realize that their marital relationships have outlived their usefulness. There are no former feelings, passion, interest. It would seem that we need to separate and go our separate ways. But the process of ending a relationship, especially if it lasted several years, is too complicated. A lot of moral, financial and legal problems arise. This may result in one spouse having limited communication with their children.

Or he will have to lose a considerable share of his property. Also, members of the male population may worry about the reputation they will have after leaving the relationship. At the same time, the prospect of being caught with a mistress somehow scares them less. It is much easier for men to periodically date a “left” girl and maintain their current relationship than to deal with the consequences of their breakup.

The opinion of one of the survey participants, Victor, on this topic:

“I lived with my wife for almost twenty years. We had an ordinary relationship. Children, home, work. Now I feel that she has begun to move away from me. She has developed her own interests, she is not very willing to communicate with me about her affairs. We don't have dinner together. Of course it's unpleasant. But where to go? I can't leave my family. While my feelings for my wife have weakened, I still love my children very much.

Divorce may make it impossible for me to communicate with them as freely as I do now. I do not need it. Sometimes we meet with our mistress and just sleep. I keep her at a distance, she doesn’t pretend to anything, because she’s in approximately the same situation. All my risks are reflected in her. But I don’t plan to leave my wife; this will significantly affect the lives of our children. I don't want them to think I abandoned them."

Reasons for cheating

It is known that such a phenomenon as adultery does not occur in every relationship. The reasons that force spouses to cheat on each other are:

boredom in marriage, monotonous sex life;
partners spend little time together due to being busy at work;
a man and a woman have different hobbies, as a result of which they spend weekends separately from each other;
frequent business trips, long absence of husband or wife from home;
a chance meeting with an interesting person that awakens passion;
performing a joint creative task at work, as a result of close interaction a person falls in love with a colleague
sexual dissatisfaction;
monotonous everyday life;
multiple disagreements between husband and wife in matters of housekeeping and raising children;
psychological incompatibility of spouses;
psychological immaturity of a person who married early;
genetic predisposition to multiple sexual relations;
pathological self-esteem of the cheater.

Cheating on a loved one hurts. The offended person feels humiliated. In this state, he may decide to commit a serious crime, wanting to take revenge on the traitor.

Statistics2

The famous British newspaper The Daily Telegraph conducted anonymous questions, which revealed that wives are more prone to adultery than husbands. The exact figures turned out to be as follows - approximately 40% of respondents allowed such a development of events; when surveying guys, the figure did not even reach 30%. Those surveyed who committed adultery on their part gave the following answers:

Slightly less than half of female respondents kissed guys in clubs (while in a relationship).
A quarter admitted to having sex with a work colleague.
50% said they really like nonverbal signs of interest from potential dates.
10% turned out to be supporters of polygamy.

It was not possible to find connections between the question of which women often cheat and the social position of the cheater in society. Housewives are just as prone to adultery as career women.

However, to the question of who cheats more often, we have a completely accurate and professional answer.

But a connection was revealed between fidelity and appearance. As it turns out, beauties are much less likely to cuckold their husbands than average-looking spouses. Surveys have confirmed that the first type of wives is confident in themselves and their spouse; they do not need any additional proof of their worth.

But people with unsightly appearance in this way try to assert themselves, to prove to themselves that they are not devoid of attractiveness: “If other men pay attention to me, then I’m really nothing,” so what, if I’ve changed, it doesn’t happen to anyone.

Although sometimes they behave completely differently and are not ready to start a family at all. Read more in our article about a certain type of woman who is not ready for a serious relationship.

How to understand that they are cheating on you

A person who cheats reveals himself as follows:

refusal to wear a wedding ring;
irritability, constant dissatisfaction with the partner;
deceit;
stays late at work, talks about overtime hours and additional shifts due to production needs;
inattention towards a spouse;
rare sex, refusal of intimacy for various fictitious reasons;
new sexual preferences;
changes in food preferences;
gifts for no reason (this is how the cheater tries to make amends);
the desire to look good, which was not there before;
buying new things for personal use;
a person does not let go of his mobile phone;
he sets complex passwords on his smartphone, fearing that his correspondence on social networks will be read;
he regularly cleans the history of correspondence on social networks, SMS and call lists;
when someone calls him, he leaves the room or answers in monosyllables;
refusal to spend weekends with family;
making new friends;
new aromas emanating from a person’s clothing.

Thus, you can guess about betrayal if you analyze in detail the behavior of your other half.

Husband exposed his wife

People's reaction to betrayal

Having learned about a partner's betrayal, a person feels humiliated, offended, and disappointed. Depending on a person’s personal characteristics, his reaction to betrayal can be different:

The desire to find someone to blame for what happened. This reaction to betrayal is typical of most people. It helps a person get rid of negative emotions. The likelihood of maintaining family relationships in this case is extremely low.
Divorce. This is also a common reaction to cheating. Forgiving betrayal is very difficult. Some people cannot live together after adultery or sleep in the same bed with the cheater. In this case, they file for divorce.
Forgiveness. This reaction is possible if the partner admitted to cheating and sincerely repents of what he did. The likelihood of maintaining family relationships in this case is quite high, but the one who was cheated on may remember this incident to his partner for a long time. After all, to forgive does not mean to forget.
The desire for revenge. This reaction to betrayal is due to a person’s desire to cause maximum pain to his partner. At the same time, the spouses can continue to live together, but it will be difficult to call their relationship harmonious.
Inciting passion and sexual desire for the cheater. Such a reaction to betrayal is rare, but some married couples live even better after the betrayal than before it.

The news of betrayal is shocking and unsettling

Don Juan

Men who change women like gloves are often called Don Juans.
They cannot stand stability and monotony in personal relationships and make acquaintances solely for the purpose of having fun. They are aware of their nature, which prefers a passion for change, so they do not show interest in studying the personal qualities of an acquaintance. Don Juans, realizing that tomorrow they will look for a new “victim,” do not even remember the name of the previous one. However, some of them, on the contrary, have a need for self-affirmation, and they find nothing better for this purpose than to keep statistics of their adventures, recording a list of names. They believe that the number of women they defeat increases their authority in the eyes of others. As a rule, among their close circle there are friends with similar views, so all ambitions come down to competition for statistics. Sincere feelings are not typical for such people; they are interested in excitement and entertainment. Don Juans are adventurers who have no moral values.

Is it worth admitting to cheating?

It is very difficult for an adulterer to admit adultery.

Orthodox culture forces people to repent of all their sins. Adultery is no exception. The Church calls on the adulterer to tell the priest about his fornication.

Confession does not guarantee the forgiveness of the one who commits adultery by his legal spouse. The Church will forgive fornication, although it will excommunicate the sinner from communion for a while. But she cannot force his spouse to forgive this sin.

The question of whether a cheater should admit to his other half that he indulged in sex on the side remains open. On the one hand, an open conversation with your spouse will help the adulterer get rid of the feeling of guilt. But on the other hand, there is no guarantee that a person will be able to forgive an adulterous family man.

Confessing cheating can cause unpredictable reactions