- October 25, 2018
- Psychology of communication
- Tatyana Proskuryakova
Many girls face a situation in life when a guy doesn’t say he loves them. Such manifestations are difficult to experience and often lead to emotional detachment. Representatives of the fair sex always want to hear assurances of love. As a result, relationships deteriorate because partners cannot come to an understanding. Existing together without mutual consent is quite difficult.
So it turns out that resentment, quarrels, jealousy, and anger arise. Often girls ask: “Why doesn’t the guy say he loves me?” There is a logical explanation for this. Let's consider possible scenarios. It is worth understanding the situation well before drawing certain conclusions. You should never cut rashly and give up everything important.
Strict upbringing
Some parents, from a very young age, instill in their children that they should not cry in the most ordinary cases. For boys, the expression of any feelings is regarded as weakness, an inability to cope with oneself. For “inappropriate” behavior they are often shamed, ridiculed, and teased in every possible way. It is not at all surprising that, upon becoming an adult, an individual never even learns to recognize his feelings. He was simply forced to drive them deeper. And then in adult life problems arise related to the inability to declare love. Young people are driven by the fear of being misunderstood and ridiculed. Even if somewhere deep down he understands that the girl will never act in a certain way. When a guy doesn't say he loves you, it's quite possible he doesn't know where to start. The inability to talk about your feelings is a serious problem that, unfortunately, few people take into account.
Individual restraint
There are naturally shy young men who do not know how to pronounce loud words. They cannot apply any eulogies to their personality. Somewhere deep down in their souls they consider themselves unworthy of the highest happiness. Restraint comes from the habit of acting in a certain way, it consists of character traits.
In most cases, the surrounding reality does not in any way contribute to the manifestation of personal activity. The conditions of modern reality often require a certain resourcefulness from a person, the ability to bring the work started to its logical conclusion. It is impossible to see any practical result in feelings, so they are often swept aside. Individual restraint is a good reason why a guy doesn’t say he loves you. He simply does not consider it necessary to utter these words. It must be good for him anyway.
A man is afraid of loneliness
Intellectually, such a man understands that the relationship is going well and requires serious development, but he is afraid to make a decision. From the outside it may seem that a man simply does not need a woman, since he is not looking for constancy with her. But everything can be completely the opposite - he is possessed by the fear of loneliness. A man fears that the woman he loves will one day be disappointed in him, fall out of love, become interested in someone else, and leave him. And to avoid this pain, he does not treat the woman seriously. Being abandoned and being abandoned are two different things for a vulnerable psyche.
What to do?
In most cases, these neurotic relationships have no future. A man can only be helped by a specialist who can cure his phobias coming from childhood or from a failed past relationship. If he doesn't understand this, he won't be able to build a healthy relationship. Do you need life with a person who, fearing loneliness, dooms you to it too?
Initial stage of relationship
Some girls, due to their inexperience, naively believe that a young man should start making warm confessions immediately after meeting. Of course, this is not at all true. It’s just that a woman’s heart wants to feel that its needs are reflected in relationships with the opposite sex. However, the initial stage does not at all imply that stormy enthusiasm and recognition will immediately follow.
People are just beginning to look closely at each other and draw certain conclusions. If a man doesn't say he loves you, maybe you should wait. There is no need to try to rush things.
Relationship dissatisfaction
Sometimes it becomes really difficult for people to learn to understand each other. Frequent conflicts provoke new quarrels, which do not add optimism. If a guy stops saying that he loves you, you need to understand the situation well. It is necessary to find out why his behavior changed. Maybe you inadvertently offended him in some way, hurt his best feelings. The reasons can be completely different. Dissatisfaction with a relationship is a warning sign that you should definitely pay attention to. It happens that interest disappears, the feeling of novelty is lost. You must strive to understand your partner very well, to feel what is happening to him.
Collector on a daily hunt
Boys stopped collecting stamps a long time ago
We will not understand the reasons for polygamous male behavior. Let’s just accept it as a fact: there are men who are not satisfied with the monogamous model of relationships. No matter how perfect you are, no matter how delicious the borscht you cook and no matter how first-class you behave in society, time will never be enough for you. You alone are not enough. After all, there are so many different, different women around! The collector's appetite is unlikely to ever be satisfied, and even if one is found, it will soon be replaced by the next one.
Negative factors
If a man does not say that he loves, perhaps certain negative aspects influence him. Unfortunately, the impact of negative factors is such that it lingers in memory for a long time. Having experienced several unpleasant events, some representatives of the stronger sex decide that they should not let anyone into the depths of their personal experiences. For example, if a previous romantic relationship ended in severe disappointment, then the guy will be very wary and suspicious of the subsequent experience. The fact is that no one wants to experience the same unpleasant emotions again.
Why doesn't my husband say he loves me?
So, let's go... grab a cup of coffee, the article is long, because my task is to give you as much information as possible. At the end of the article, there will be some practical advice from a psychologist on how you can change the situation for the better?
Why does a woman need words of love from a man?
This is how the female psyche works: if they love, then they are needed, if they are needed, then they are good, if they are good, then well done, and I did everything right and chose the one and only!
With the help of her man's words of love, a woman raises her self-esteem and her value in her own eyes and in the eyes of society.
After all, you can say with pride, but my husband loves me! After all, there are so many unhappy women around who complain about their men, and of course, you want to stand out for the better.
And in order to feel the love of your man, you need to understand male psychology, know what balls and cogs are spinning in their heads? And of course, use this information for your feminine purposes. And this is not manipulation at all, but on the contrary, sincere concern for your man.
After all, what happens... if a man is silent about the fact that he loves you, then he only makes things worse for himself. You are in a bad mood, you are dissatisfied, which means that somewhere your husband will get it.
And if he regularly talks about how happy he is with a woman like you, then I’m sure you will fly on wings, and your husband, accordingly, will be very pleased...
Want to improve your relationship? Do you want to receive support, attention, love from your man? In fact, it is not so difficult, you just need to learn to say the right words at the right moment! I suggest you download the checklist “22 phrases that will save your relationship”!
Let's figure it out first
Dependent Relationships
From the outside it may seem that people who are ready to live purely in the interests of their other half love too much. They sometimes don’t even notice how they are losing themselves. As a result, tenderness gradually transforms into irritability, and a reluctance to do something appears. Any person will inevitably get tired of the need to constantly give, because he will also need to be filled with something that brings joy.
When thinking about why a guy no longer says he loves you, you need to carefully analyze the current situation. Perhaps some tactlessness was committed in relation to the young man. Remember, no one will endure insults and humiliation forever. If a guy feels disadvantaged in some way, then his love will begin to melt over time. Dependent relationships mean that people necessarily suffer from interacting with each other. Happiness is when you know how to respect the choice of your other half, and do not try to adjust it to yourself. You cannot demand from your chosen one that he correspond to your choice in everything and fully accept his position in life.
How to make him miss you
You see that your boyfriend hasn’t missed you enough yet, but you feel the potential in him. What can you do to make him miss you?
- Play on the four basic senses.
Sympathy does not appear out of thin air. In order to make him want to see you again and again, you can use the instructions: fun, excitement, respect and safety. Show that you enjoy your date by smiling.
Lure him out of his comfort zone for an adrenaline rush, like going on a roller coaster. Rely on his masculinity, let him feel like a real superhero next to you. Listen to him, show interest in his affairs.
- Create a deficit for yourself.
If you want a man to miss you, give him the opportunity to do so. You have to create the necessary space, and this can only be done if you distance yourself from the object. Remember that we often don't realize the value of a person until we lose them.
Photo by Tim Gouw from Pexels
Don’t call your boyfriend and don’t rush to the phone to immediately answer his messages. There is no need to ignore him, mind your own business, let your life be bright and interesting without him.
- Be interested in him.
Many girls sin by believing that since a man took the initiative, he now owes them by default. Your gentleman also wants to make sure that his advances are not in vain. Women are designed in such a way that they like to talk more than listen.
But you need to learn to show your partner that you care about his thoughts and feelings. Show interest in his hobbies and work, ask clarifying questions. Find out what he wants and what he dreams about. Sharing information will connect you emotionally, and if you develop a relationship, it will be useful to you in the future.
- Show yourself in all your glory.
Spend more time on your appearance. Modern society makes a choice in favor of convenience rather than beauty, but do not neglect truly feminine outfits. When, instead of your favorite shapeless jeans, you wear a spectacular floor-length dress on a date, your man will feel like a knight, even if he himself does not always shine with manners. And don't forget about your hair.
Photo by Shvets Anna: Pexels
Lack of romantic feelings
There is a simpler explanation why the guy never said he loved him. He just doesn't feel romantically attracted to you. This actually happens and occurs quite often. In this case, the man is unlikely to be worthy of uttering kind words. He will begin to behave extremely indifferently or even begin to show aggression. The lack of romantic feelings is a significant reason for a girl to think about whether she needs to maintain a relationship with her boyfriend.
Type No. 2. Collector
This type includes men who need fans. He keeps women for himself, periodically making himself known with a compliment, a gift, sudden and lightning-fast sex.
The Collector’s favorite method is to remain silent and silent, then write, remain silent some more and call somewhere. He needs this in order to feel in demand. The collector knows that he has 25 women whom he can write or call at any time, and someone from his Don Juan list will definitely respond.
Psychologically, the Collector is very insecure. To feel good, he needs women whom he keeps at some distance.
Features of relationships
Interaction in a couple is always a great responsibility that falls on the shoulders of both partners. In some relationships, a man may not consider it necessary to constantly express his romantic affection; in another case, it turns out that he simply does not know how to do it correctly and adequately to the current situation.
Many guys realize that love is a risk. For this reason, it becomes easier for them to give up self-expression rather than experience certain conflicts.
Difficulty expressing feelings
Some difficulties may occur if a person has difficulty expressing emotions in general. When a guy is not particularly decisive, then you shouldn’t expect pompous words from him.
Most likely, at the right time, he will simply use a few phrases to explain himself to you. Many people experience difficulties in expressing feelings, this is not surprising. The only important thing is how a person is going to live further: whether he strives to work on himself or simply goes with the flow.
Thus, a girl does not always hear a worthy declaration of love from her boyfriend. Some men are so timid that they never dare to utter their cherished words. Some people simply do not have romantic feelings for their partner and may not consider her as an option for a permanent relationship. Each individual case must be examined individually.
