Cheating on your husband - to cheat or not, what to do if you have already cheated


Women who think about how to cheat on their husbands are most afraid of the consequences.

But your spouse can remain blissfully unaware if you tread carefully.

I want to immediately warn moralists: you better close this page immediately after reading the title, because today I will teach women, no, not to bake pies, to please men and preserve beauty for their sake.

Today I will teach women how to cheat on their husbands without him finding out about it.

What a shameless creature I am, right?

But I want to say to moralists: if I prepare material about something, this does not mean that I recommend doing it.

The owner of a candy store can be on a strict diet, but at the same time sell sweets; a salesperson in a sex shop may well be a traditionalist in sex and, under pain of death, will not agree to try the things that he offers to clients.

The whole point is that if there is demand, then there must be supply.

I am glad that you are a faithful wife.

I am glad that you are a man who got a faithful wife.

Thank the higher powers for this and save your nerves by saving yourself from reading the article.

My advice is for those who will definitely need them.

Cheating on your husband: the pros and cons of relationships on the side

Of course, in such a delicate situation, the pros and cons can be very relative, but we will consider the most common cases.

Possible benefits of cheating

  • You can sort out the feelings.
    Usually, cheating on her husband allows a woman to determine for herself exactly what she feels for him. As a rule, if before this she still has doubts, then after intimacy with another man any doubts still disappear. The cheater either regrets what she did, realizing that she betrayed a loved one and this could have been avoided, or she is finally convinced that she has no feelings for her husband for a long time.
  • New love.
    It is not at all uncommon for a woman to decide to cheat on her husband and find new love. However, feelings for another man from an unfaithful wife, as a rule, arise before intimacy with him, and direct physical contact only helps to make the final decision. Surely, you yourself have heard stories when a husband or wife, having cheated in marriage, leaves for a new partner, and subsequently happily builds a new family.

Possible disadvantages of cheating

  • Pangs of conscience.
    Often, cheating is not easy for most women; for this to happen, the wife must be really very angry with her husband, disappointed or captivated by new feelings. Be that as it may, over time, many of the cheaters begin to understand that this situation could have been avoided, and, in any case, their act is very doubtful.
  • Damaged reputation.
    It also happens that adultery becomes known not only to the husband, but also to some third parties. Of course, this circumstance most often damages the reputation of any woman, even if it seems to her that there was more than a good reason for such an act. Subsequently, this fact may negatively affect communication with relatives, career, or possible subsequent relationships.
  • Venereal diseases.
    Of course, we should not forget about such a prosaic situation. Very rarely, when going into intimate contact with someone, a person assumes in advance that he might “catch” some kind of sexually transmitted disease; usually this happens quite unexpectedly. By the way, it is often precisely because of this fact that adultery is revealed.

Basic rules that must be strictly followed when cheating

Your husband no longer suits you as a sexual partner, so you decide to find yourself a lover. First of all, you need to remember all the important rules of cheating on your husband, which must be followed so that your husband does not find out about your cheating:

  1. Have protected sex. You can be sure that your lover does not have sexually transmitted diseases, but sex without condoms can lead to pregnancy. Nowadays, it is not difficult to establish who the father of a child is. I don’t see the point in describing the consequences when your husband finds out that you gave birth to a child from another man.
  2. Always try to keep it secret. You must take into account all the little things: at what time and in what places you will meet your lover. You need to come up with explanations for your delays. In your mobile phone, enter your lover's number under your female name.
  3. Never talk about cheating with your friends. You must be well aware that women love to gossip. Therefore, they may accidentally give away your secret. This information may not reach your husband directly, but your spouse may find out about your infidelity through a chain of gossiping people.
  4. Outside relationships should bring you as much as possible. This applies not only to sexual satisfaction, but also to expensive gifts. You take a lot of risk, so it should be rewarded. Just don’t choose too expensive gifts so that your husband doesn’t find it suspicious.

I want to cheat on my husband, what should I do?

One day a woman may be faced with a persistent desire to cheat on her husband. Some cope with this impulse, while others still decide to be unfaithful. Be that as it may, if such a desire nevertheless arises, then you need to find out its reasons. It is quite possible that after understanding the situation, you will change your mind about taking such a step.

You need to find out the reasons why you want to cheat on your husband

Sex has become less enjoyable over the years

It is quite possible that intimate intimacy with a spouse, after years of marriage, has ceased to bring as much pleasure as it did before - everything has become predictable, routine and not particularly interesting. In general, this is a very common situation in many married couples, and is completely preventable or solvable if both partners wish. Unfortunately, both partners are not always ready to work on improving their intimate life, and then one of them still commits adultery.

My husband is no longer attractive as a man

Some women, like men, stop monitoring their appearance, habits and behavior in marriage, which is why their “other halves” simply stop perceiving them as an attractive sexual object. If at first, men carefully prepare for a date with their beloved, and in the first weeks of marriage they do not allow themselves unnecessary habits and phrases, then over time this often changes. Often a woman marries a gallant, pleasantly smelling, caring and well-groomed lover, but by the wedding anniversary she realizes that she lives with a sullen boor who sometimes neglects the general rules of hygiene, basic etiquette and general neatness. For a rare woman, such changes have an exciting effect, and more and more often she begins to pay attention to other representatives of the opposite sex.

The husband has grown cold

Alas, some women are pushed into cheating by their husbands by their own behavior. Noticing that their spouse has ceased to perceive them as a desired sexual object, many women become upset and, in desperation, try to find confirmation of their attractiveness by starting a relationship with another man. Sometimes this is done for the sake of raising damaged self-esteem, and sometimes solely due to an acute lack of intimacy.

After giving birth I gained weight and am ashamed of myself

As you know, the first time after childbirth, a woman does not look the same as she did before pregnancy. Some manage to recover quickly, but a significant number of young mothers cannot regain their former shape for a long time. As a result, such a woman begins to be embarrassed by her appearance and avoid intimacy with her husband. It is noteworthy that in this case it is easier to decide on sex with a stranger - she is less concerned about how he perceives her figure, and besides, the new lover is probably not will be able to compare “Before and After”.

Never experienced an orgasm in marriage

Sometimes a woman is pushed into cheating solely by a physiological reason - the lack of orgasms in marital sex, or their great rarity. It is possible that she had not been able to regularly achieve orgasms before, or the reason was that her husband turned out to be an extremely inept sexual partner. Be that as it may, both of these facts, as well as the desire to achieve physical satisfaction in bed with a man, may well push the wife into the arms of her lover.

Make a firm decision about how you will live after the betrayal.

If you are determined to cheat, then it is important to think in advance about how the situation will develop after this. You should understand that after such a step, life will not remain the same, and you will have to adapt to its changes. Think over any outcome - will you be able to continue living with your husband after this, will you be able to hide your infidelity, will your conscience not torment you, and so on.

Everything to eradicate the desire for betrayal

However, it is in your best interest to do everything possible to eradicate the desire to cheat on your spouse. This is not at all about continuing to live as before, despite your dissatisfaction with the marriage. Try doing things differently! If you understand that you are ready to cheat because you don’t love your husband, then find a way to break these family ties. If the desire for adultery arose solely because of temporary difficulties in marriage or misunderstanding, then it makes sense to try to solve these troubles and preserve feelings.

Covering our tracks

When walking around new places, be careful not to leave traces behind you. Nowadays, it is very difficult to imagine the absence of communication through social networks and other means of computer communication. All this is so easily accessible and commonplace that most people can go on business, get up from the computer, forgetting to log out of their correspondence.

In the situation we are considering now, such practice is not acceptable for you.

It is imperative to delete all correspondence, or hide it, as well as the entire communication history, so as not to provoke fate itself. Passwords and nicknames, in this case, also cannot be told to anyone, especially to your husband; you can refer to flirtatiousness between girls as personal.

How to decide to cheat if this is the only way to enjoy sex

Some women realize that their husband is completely unsuitable for them as a sexual partner, and therefore begin to look for joy on the side. If you have the same situation, but otherwise your spouse suits you, and you do not want a divorce, then to justify yourself, first of all, try to achieve harmony in marital sex. Gently bring your husband into a conversation about your sexual fantasies and desires, give him a chance to rehabilitate himself in your eyes. Having realized that no confidential conversations and “practical exercises” bring the desired effect and you do not get satisfaction from intimacy, it will certainly be easier for you to decide to cheat.

Why are men more easily perceived as cheaters than women?

Men commit more sexual crimes than women, perhaps suggesting that men in general are more likely to commit sexual infidelity. Women, if they cheat, then hide it, whereas a man can do it openly. In addition, in all cultural traditions, a woman is a mother, the keeper of the hearth, whose main task is to give birth and raise children, do housework, but never have sex for pleasure.

Numerous sociological surveys confirm that the actual reasons that push women to commit adultery often differ from those reported by men. And perhaps unsurprisingly, women's motivation to cheat is different from men's. For men, cheating is, first of all, sex, a physiological process; for women, it is some form of emotional connection, romance. Moreover, this is not always the case. It is important for a woman to at least simply believe in this special connection between her and her sexual partner.

How to cheat on your husband correctly without him guessing or finding out

A woman who is determined to cheat on her spouse is better off not looking for a potential lover among the family’s mutual friends; this usually ends with the deceived husband or one of her friends eventually finding out about this story. Also pay attention to the typical mistakes of women whose spouses begin to suspect of infidelity. By avoiding such nuances in behavior, you can not raise doubts in your husband about yourself for a long time.

  • Delays at work.
    Do not arrange regular dates with your lover after work. Sooner or later, such delays will begin to raise natural questions from the husband.
  • Sudden changes in sexual behavior.
    Some women, having started to cheat on their spouse, dramatically change their sexual behavior, or try to repeat in intimate pleasures with their husband everything new that they “pick up” from another partner, or simply avoid intimacy.
  • Stealth.
    If you start hiding your phone from your husband’s eyes, changing passwords on your pages on social networks, talking to someone on the phone in the toilet, and so on, most likely, your spouse will still suspect you of cheating.
  • Detachment.
    When immersed in a new romance, many women begin to act distant. They are constantly in their own thoughts, avoid communication with their husband, are indifferent to joint “going out”, and do not show any initiative in bed.

Buy contraceptives separately

There is absolutely no reason for the number of condoms or other birth control products in a family pack to suddenly change. Missing or extra condoms are a red flag for cheating.

  • Buy separate condoms when you have sex with your lover.
  • Buy small packs or individually so you don't get caught with extra condoms stashed in your car.
  • Throw away unused ones before returning home instead of keeping them around.

My husband asks me to change what to do in this situation

My husband wants me to cheat on him because it turns him on

You should be prepared for the fact that your marriage will fall apart after this, and there may be two reasons for this. In the first case, the spouse realizes that his desire was actually interesting and exciting only in the imagination, and not in real life, and as a result, he will begin to reproach you for your compliance. In the second situation, you may feel disgusted, realizing that your husband deliberately “gave” you to another man, and this calls into question all his feelings for you.

Such a decision will not have negative consequences if your husband’s desire is fully conscious, and you yourself dream of such a sexual experience. In addition, each of you should perceive such intimacy as a game, receiving physical pleasure, and nothing more.

The husband cheats and does not demand fidelity

If your husband himself cheats on you, and at the same time gives the “green light” for your betrayal, think carefully about whether you need this. The spouse in this situation is quite understandable - he is well aware that adultery is not welcome in society, if you also go for it, then in case something happens, it will not look as unseemly as with a faithful spouse. On the other hand, perhaps he doesn't look that far and simply doesn't care about any connections you have with other men - most likely, your marriage is based on anything but love.

Subconscious desire to end the relationship.


Everything secret becomes clear someday

The danger of exposure in a situation of betrayal is great. Moreover, no one guarantees safety in keeping a secret on the part of the lover.

Persuasions and requests not to disclose the existence of a relationship can be ignored if feelings interfere with the relationship. In this case, one should think: if the matter is not a desire for revenge, not an extreme degree of dissatisfaction in family life, then could it be that the marital relationship has outlived its usefulness?

It’s not that there are no reasons for divorce... maybe there are, but not global ones. But there is a feeling that you are missing something in life. That somewhere out there your true soulmate is looking for you, but you won’t meet her until you feel freedom from your existing relationship. That is, betrayal is a reason here.

The offended spouse leaves, and you become free. This is a rather sophisticated way to end a relationship, but it has a place in the life of a married couple.

What to do?

Sometimes you just shouldn’t be afraid to look your own reflection in the eye. If ending a relationship is what you really want, then you have the right to end it. A specialist will help you understand yourself, understand the true motives for the need for betrayal, get rid of feelings of guilt and come to an agreement with yourself.

I cheated on my husband and he found out

Admit the fact of betrayal or lie

If you clearly understand that you want to leave your spouse, but he is not ready to let you go, then perhaps the news of betrayal will cool his ardor. However, note that there are times when it is better not to admit to cheating. When is it not advisable to do this?

  • You don't want to hurt your spouse.
    Despite your infidelity, you understand that in general your husband is a good person and does not deserve the feelings that many men experience when they learn that they have become a “cuckold.” In this situation, in order to preserve your spouse’s self-esteem, come up with another reason for divorce, but do not talk about the truth; if you are not thinking about divorce, then even more so you should not mention that you had contact with another partner.
  • You want to save your family.
    You realized that you still want to save your marriage and cheating was a mistake. If the pangs of conscience are simply unbearable for you, then, of course, you will have to admit everything and wait for your husband’s decision. And yet, if you want your family to have a chance to become truly happy, then it is better to work on the mistakes that led you to adultery. Moreover, there is no need to risk your family if there are children in it, and you clearly know that you will not repeat such a mistake again.

Caught cheating, how to save your marriage

Only time and a confidential conversation will help you. Ask your husband to listen to you, and directly explain to him why you cheated. At the same time, note that you consider such a step a big mistake on your part, and would really like to correct everything. Invite your husband to think about your words for a while, and not to “judge”. If during this period you have to live under the same roof, be attentive to your chosen one, take care of him, but do not be too intrusive. Show by your behavior that you really regret the current situation and love your husband. If your husband still says that he cannot forgive you, respect his decision, because when you decided to cheat, you should have been prepared for such an outcome.

What consequences should you prepare for?

There are many options, the main ones are separation, indifference to what is happening or a truce. If your husband files for divorce, be prepared for an independent life, both morally and financially. If a man provided for you, then you will no longer be able to afford much.

Minute desires can destroy a family. Perhaps this is your case. Are you ready to leave behind years of a happy, quiet life and start a new relationship? Are you able to forget what you did? Or you will suffer and worry about why you changed it...

Also, when you want to change, think that your friends and parents might find out about everything, and then they will constantly blame you for the collapse of the family. Do you need it?

Another option is that your lover is unlikely to want to contact you seriously, because who needs a woman who can betray.

How not to cheat in marriage - advice from a psychologist

  • Talk more.
    Often, infidelity in marriage is the result of some kind of misunderstanding. Spouses do not dare to tell each other about their desires, fantasies, claims, problems, and so on. Gradually this leads to distance. In families where the husband and wife directly talk about what worries them and together begin to look for a solution, the percentage of infidelity is much lower. If you learn not only to talk about your difficulties, but also to eradicate them, then there will simply be no place for infidelity in your marriage.
  • Be careful.
    In families where spouses are attentive to each other, cheating is practically impossible; if you think that your husband is not caring enough towards you, try to change this by setting the right example for him. Try to participate in many aspects of his life, often praise him for any achievements, pay attention to his merits, and over time he himself will try to become better, live up to your praise, and give you attention in return.
  • Diversify your intimate life.
    Often, betrayal occurs due to banal insipidity in the intimate life of spouses. Unfortunately, this insipidity occurs due to the fact that the husband and wife simply do not share their desires and fantasies with each other, do not talk about what they do not like, and do not themselves try to diversify marital sex. There are many effective ways to maintain passion in marriage, and if you take some of them into account - experiments in bed, initiative, changing images, frank conversations, and so on - then you will not have to face infidelity in the family.

Use private browsing mode

The best way to cheat on your husband correctly without him guessing is to not leave any evidence in the browser history and always use the “Private Browsing” mode. If you use your main browser to surf the Internet, you probably have Incognito mode.

This does not mean that you are completely anonymous.

Websites remember your IP address, so in another browser you may see targeted ads based on your "private" browsing history. To avoid these catch-up ads, make sure to close all personal tabs whenever you finish using them.

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