Eternal love, sung in poetry, is not always found in real life. A crisis occurs in every family. But sometimes the streak of alienation and coldness passes, and sometimes it drags on. And then it is important to understand whether you really don’t love your husband and are not interested in him, or whether you just need to go through difficulties. Often, turning to a psychologist, wives ask: “What to do if you no longer love your husband?” They are confused and do not understand what to do and what to do.
Sometimes love really slips away. A person who recently seemed close and understandable is now a stranger. What to do then? Is it worth breaking up with your other half, or continuing the relationship for the sake of the children? We will try to answer all these questions in our article, based on the opinions of psychologists.
How to understand that love for your husband has passed: main signs
At the heart of any marriage are four components: the relationship between the spouses; ideas about life that they learned from their families; experience gained with other partners before marriage; development opportunity.
It is especially important that spouses can develop and have common hobbies that connect them. Without moving forward together, feelings quickly fade away, and the spouses will become uninteresting to each other. How can you understand that love has passed and there are no feelings for your husband?
They say that everyday life kills love, but if love really takes place, then everyday life has nothing to do with it. However, it happens that a woman is simply tired of problems and routine, and it seems to her that there has been no love for a long time.
But we must take into account that all families are going through a crisis. In the first year, there is usually a period of falling in love, the spouses get to know each other, and not only the light, but also the dark sides. The love for my husband has passed, what should I do?
Later, the second half may well be annoying. My husband no longer seems as ideal as before. After three years, scandals begin, but this does not mean that love is completely gone. You're just going through a crisis.
How to understand that a wife has stopped loving her husband, what are the signs?
- There is no desire to take care of your spouse . It is a burden for a woman to do something for her husband: cook dinner, wash shirts, even go on vacation with him.
- I don’t want to take care of myself in order to please my husband . What a woman looks like in the presence of her husband, she no longer cares. There is no desire to put yourself in order and put on beautiful underwear. And so it will do.
- I'm not interested in my husband's activities . If at first a woman was ready to listen for hours about the problems and achievements of her husband at work, his hobbies, then over time she becomes uninterested. She doesn’t care what her husband is interested in and does.
- I don't want to rush home after work . When a wife stays late at work and tries to “hang out” outside the house with her friends, there are probably no feelings for her husband anymore.
- Thoughts about betrayal. Flirting becomes acceptable to the wife and she doesn't mind having fun with another man in bed.
How can you tell if you still have love for your husband? When you like his smell, you kiss often, continue to admire his character traits, you like it when he looks at you, you want to please and surprise him - there is still love. And it is worth making an effort to preserve it.
You don't feel happy anymore
Happiness is undoubtedly one of the main components of love. This is why people start dating and start a family. When the feeling of joy from the union fades, the couple may separate. But you don’t need to think that euphoria in a relationship should be present all the time. If you suddenly realized that you haven’t been as happy for a long time as you were during the first periods of meetings, don’t be upset.
After some time, the feelings subside and are replaced by getting used to each other. Family life is inseparable from the so-called “everyday life”. This is natural, but it does not mean that you should not experience positive emotions in your marriage.
Think about it - when did you feel happy? If you realize that it was a long time ago, try to remember what brought you pleasure before, and why now you cannot experience happiness. If this is due to an action (or inaction) of your spouse, you may actually have cooled down on him.
Why did you lose love for your husband? 8 probable reasons
People fall in love, get married, and then suddenly the love fades. A once dear and close person seems like a stranger, why does this happen. Why does love for my husband go away? Psychologists name several different reasons. Many of them are associated with certain stages of life.
Reason #1 . People get to know each other better and become disappointed. The further the relationship develops after marriage, the more the woman sees shortcomings in her beloved. If the first year passes “captivated” by vivid feelings and emotions. Then on the second day, irritation begins because the spouse does not help, throws things around, earns little, etc. In the third year, scandals often begin. Spouses cannot always resolve their relationship and get divorced.
Reason #2. Frequent quarrels and resentments. When people constantly quarrel, they quickly get tired of each other. In addition, during scandals, husband and wife often insult or humiliate each other. It is unlikely that such behavior will help strengthen the relationship. Although it is said that loved ones scold - they only amuse themselves, quarrels always leave an unpleasant mark on the soul. If they are repeated constantly, one day even the greatest and brightest feelings will cool down.
A child needs to be raised in a favorable environment
Every conflict and quarrel between parents is stored in the child's subconscious. As a result, the child develops complexes and fears against the backdrop of adult squabbles. After some time, an already matured person will behave the same way with his other half as you behave with your husband.
Think about it: are you ready to provide your child with such a future? Take care of his mental health and decide for yourself what is best to do in such a situation. The main thing is to remember: if nothing has changed in 2-5-10 years, then everything will remain in the same position.
“I don’t love my husband”: what to do and how to live on?
The advice of a psychologist will help you cope with the problem, but first of all you need to try to figure out the problem yourself. Perhaps the love has not gone anywhere, the woman is simply tired or many problems have been added that are difficult to cope with.
If the euphoria has passed, this is not a reason to leave your husband forever. Love has many stages to go through. If suddenly something starts to irritate you or you don’t like about your spouse, this is not a reason to leave. Likewise, you should not rush to break up if you find that your views on certain things do not coincide. Disagreements are inevitable and conflicts need to be worked through. Your task is to go through conflicts and reach a positive wave. True love can overcome many difficulties and problems. But you can always come up with something to try to improve the relationship. How to love your husband if you don't?
When it seems to you that you have stopped loving your husband and the time has come to leave, take your time and analyze the situation. If you understand that your spouse still loves you, it will be easier to improve the relationship, but you need to act together.
- Talk, and while talking, listen carefully to each other.
- Make a list of things you have accomplished through your joint efforts.
- Try to resolve all issues together.
- Be sincere with your spouse, trust him.
- Try to spend more time together.
- Give your husband more attention.
A family therapist will help you improve your relationship. He will tell you how to cope with emotions that destroy relationships. But there are situations when the best way out of a relationship is divorce.
- Coasting.
Nothing new is happening in your relationship; you are acting according to a pattern, trying to maintain the relationship. But what kind of love can we talk about when you repeat the same actions and still receive nothing in return? It is obvious that there is no more love.
- Feeling that the marriage should end.
It is very important for a woman to trust her inner feelings, including in marriage. And when you feel like your relationship isn't what it should be, it probably isn't. However, there is no need to rush into separation. You can take a break to figure out what exactly doesn’t suit you, and contact a family therapist. But first of all, trust yourself, don’t step on your throat, don’t go against your feelings.
- Losing one's self.
Is it possible to love a second time?
No matter how many years you have been together, you can always freshen up your relationship and fall in love with your partner again.
This can happen as a result of you working together on the relationship or someone else's initiative.
For example, the husband will devote more time to his wife and arrange pleasant surprises.
The wife will begin to take better care of her appearance and will stop reproaching her husband and becoming offended for no reason. And then love will flare up between you again.
How to attract love into your life? You will find practical recommendations on our website.
Married without love? Is it possible to love your husband after marriage? Find out from the video:
What to do when love for your husband has passed: advice from a psychologist
In cases where a woman experiences psychological or physical violence, there can be no question of staying or leaving. Here, divorce remains the only correct decision, even when there are children. But “I don’t love my husband anymore, but I have children, and I want to get a divorce” may be a mistake. Moreover, if he loves you, treats the children well and provides for the family financially. Consider the consequences of your decision.
- Weigh the pros and cons, everything you lose and gain. There is a high probability that your financial situation will become worse and you will also lose psychological comfort, a shoulder on which you have leaned for many years.
- Think about the child. Will you be able to create good conditions for him, will you not traumatize him psychologically?
- If you fell in love with another man and decided to leave for him, is the game worth the candle? You will also have to get used to the new man and endure his shortcomings. If love for your husband quickly disappears, where is the guarantee that it will also not evaporate in relation to a new man?
- You shouldn’t immediately rush in search of your next passion, as it will pass, like the previous one, and you will again find yourself with nothing.
But if you finally decide to leave, don’t delay, don’t torture yourself and your spouse. Leave if you are sure that your life will change for the better.
No matter how much pressure your relatives or friends put on you, do what you think is necessary. Public opinion in this case is also not important, only you are responsible for your destiny.
Down with the guilt
Women by nature are very sensitive and emotional creatures. And for all the troubles that happen, they first of all blame themselves. But in family life this position is no good. Feelings come by themselves, and also disappear spontaneously. If your love for your spouse has cooled, this does not mean that you have betrayed him or your children. Something just happened that could not have been prevented. The current circumstances influenced this outcome of events, and you simply cannot change the situation.
How to live if there is no love for your husband: women’s opinions
Situations in life are different. I realized that I don’t love my husband, what should I do? Ask a visitor to the women's forum.
One of the forum visitors wants to divorce her husband, whom she has never loved . She has two children, 3 and 6 years old. The husband says that she should live for them and think about them. And a woman’s wings grow as soon as she even thinks about living with them the way she wants. Your own life and routine, everything is calm and good. But I feel sorry for the children. The father will not go anywhere, but he will have his own family.
Anna believes that in this case it is better to get a divorce, since living for the sake of children is “the path to depression.”
Another of the forum guests 3099020866 also advises getting a divorce. And he tells the story of his friend, who got divorced when her daughter was 11 years old. He doesn't seem to regret it. I was especially happy the first year. I even went on vacation with my daughter, although maybe I didn’t have enough money for it. But over time I began to think about the man.
Guest [3639824623] has a different opinion. She writes that everyone's life is approximately the same. All families deal with everyday life and raise children, and at the same time feelings disappear. In addition, good relationships and stability also disappear.
“I realized that I don’t love my husband—what should I do?” sometimes turns into a cry of despair
https://www.woman.ru/relations/marriage/thread/5375198/
Many people believe that good husbands are not abandoned. But it also happens that “I don’t love a loving husband.” Some women think that marriage is not a necessity, that there are no “other halves, and we are all whole.” Only those for whom living alone is unnatural strive to get married. You shouldn't live with your children's father, even if he is wonderful, but it doesn't matter what you want.
Marriage of convenience
