Why do women cheat - how to recognize a cheating wife?

In romantic films, the newlyweds at the wedding read the “oath of fidelity,” which includes promises to love each other and be there for each other no matter what. But life sometimes brings surprises in the form of betrayal by one of the spouses.

The consciousness of society is structured in such a way that men walking “to the left” are taken for granted. This behavior is often justified by natural data, the inner essence of the male character - the “conqueror”. Therefore, a husband’s infidelity is rarely condemned by society.

But women’s campaigns “to the left” are considered something out of the ordinary and are condemned. Statistics show that the number of married girls who cheat on their loved ones begins to grow from year to year. What is the reason for female infidelity, how to deal with it?

If you study the behavior of lovers in a family, an extraordinary connection can be traced - the reasons for such actions in men and women contain different approaches.

The main essence of female infidelity

Some psychologists believe that for men, cheating is a natural process. Simply put, they follow nature, often striving to conquer as many representatives of the opposite sex as possible. A woman by nature does not have such a desire. They have another desire - to choose the best man. Simply put, in men's adventures the decisive factor is quantity, for women it is quality that matters.

If a woman meets a man on her way who is superior to her current lover, then she will give her heart to the successful representative.

Moreover, her husband can be a worthy person - he provides for the family, devotes time to her, takes care of the children. But the female sex is missing something, she is looking for this unknown something on the side, among other men.

Situations often occur when a wife cheats on a decent man, but does not leave him. What motivates her, why does she choose this path? What are the motives for female infidelity? Let's look into this rhetorical question.

Sex and love

So why do wives cheat on their husbands, what makes them commit such immoral acts? There are two main reasons for this: new love and the desire to take revenge on the husband. Moreover, in most cases, female infidelities occur in dysfunctional families, while men tend to “go to the left” even when they consider their marriage to be quite successful. For a man, love and sex are not the same thing, but for the fair sex these concepts are inseparable.

By and large, women cannot imagine sex without love and commitment. Married ladies, all the more, will not behave inappropriately, unless they have a sufficiently compelling reason for it. Sex for a woman is not just a process of intercourse, but something very significant, one might even say spiritual.

Reasons for female infidelity in marriage

Having studied the features and differences between male and female infidelity, we will move on to listing the motives that push a woman to take this step. Taking into account the mentality of society, female infidelity is perceived aggressively by people. Therefore, in order to decide to take a step into the abyss, a woman needs clear arguments.

So what leads a woman to cheat:

revenge. Married life rarely runs smoothly. Housekeeping is accompanied by quarrels and scandals. But if for many couples issues are resolved mutually, then for some families, after a quarrel, there comes a moment when the spouse takes sides. Either the husband simply behaves ugly, humiliates the woman, drinks or gets loose. It will seem strange that the wife does not divorce and continues to live with such a person. Cheating can be an act of protest against a tyrant husband, an abuser;
disappointment. Relationships change, especially compared to the courtship period. A man who has won a girl calms down and stops paying attention to her. Instead of spending time together, the spouse simply immerses himself in the world of virtual reality or spends time watching TV. A girl who is accustomed to receiving attention from her beloved may find it difficult to tolerate such a change in behavior. It’s hard to pull many young men out of the usual quiet swamp even for a walk together, keeping silent about visiting entertainment places. Cheating is a way to add bright colors to a gray everyday life;
bed relationships. Over time, sex among married people becomes something commonplace. Yes, and people's temperaments differ. My husband, coming home from work, wants to rest and be left alone. A woman, especially a sensual one, has a hard time withstanding such changes in her loved one, so she thinks about cheating;
Men don't often show emotions. Especially after marriage, when the wife is at your side, already your own. Many men forget to compliment their partner, admire her beauty and other qualities. Most husbands take for granted all the household chores that their beloved bears - cooking, cleaning, ironing. It is rare that any husband is ready to simply say “thank you” for what his wife does for him. In contrast here is a man who is ready to admire every step, her action, he likes everything - isn’t this a reason to change?
early marriage. In Russia and other Slavic countries, girls still strive to get married as quickly as possible. Often such marriages are carried out hastily, the partners have no time to get to know each other. Because of this, disappointments subsequently begin in family life. If a young girl is not satisfied with her husband emotionally, morally or physically, then she takes an example from her unmarried friends - she begins to go out;
Whatever one may say, the saying about the forbidden fruit is still relevant. Over time in a relationship or marriage, many women reconsider their principles. But if earlier betrayal was not even thought of, then with the coming of time it becomes a desired action;
"Herd instinct" No matter how rude it may sound, such feelings often push a woman into infidelity. Various factors lead to this - statements, actions of friends, mass propaganda of unhealthy behavior through media channels, or something else. The result is the same - the wife takes a lover.

Reasons why women cheat2

Women, as a rule, are pushed into cheating by their deep grievances against their husband and lack of mutual understanding in the family. But not every woman will cheat. Most often, the cause of betrayal is a woman’s depressed psychological state or a temporary outburst of deep emotions that cannot be restrained.

This can happen to a woman who experiences anger, depression, melancholy, and despair. With the help of betrayal, she can increase her sense of self-worth, prove to herself and others that someone can like her and love her. And also, with the help of retaliatory betrayal, women try to take revenge on their husbands for his betrayal.

Psychology. Why do women cheat on men?

Women's psychology is designed in such a way that betrayal occurs as a result of the emergence of feelings. As it happens, the one who is nearby becomes annoying, seems unpleasant, annoying. The forbidden man becomes a real treasure for her, which makes her inaccessible. If he still shows truly masculine qualities, the woman begins to fall in love. Such loves pass over time and bring disappointment. But for some time the woman is sure that this man is her only destiny.

What is the difference between male and female infidelity:

feelings. For men, cheating is a physiological process; they do not need feelings to cheat. It’s different with women, the fact of physical contact is not so important to them, they cheat on their husbands only because they feel a feeling of falling in love;
choice of partner. Male infidelities are characterized by less picky choices. Simply put, it is enough for them that their mistress is beautiful in appearance. Women don't cheat with just anyone. They take lovers from a list of worthy gentlemen;
story after action. Men who take a mistress do not get divorced. This is not profitable for them - life at home is organized, there are bright emotions and new impressions on the side. Why change everything if everything is great? For women, a different approach is typical. If they are in love, then they try to break off the relationship with their already unloved husband and build new ones with their lover.

How to prevent female infidelity in the family?

Women's adventures occur when a new feeling arises. Therefore, if adultery has already occurred, it will be difficult for the spouse to return everything back and achieve the former idyll.

The woman will most likely be ready to break off the relationship and plunge headlong into new feelings. To be honest, few men are ready to forgive their beloved for betrayal.

The opinions of psychologists on this issue converge; it is better not to bring the situation to the extreme boiling point, and mutually start working on the relationship. There are different methods. But all psychologists agree on one aspect - if you leave family life as it is, with mutual claims and grievances, it is unlikely that you will be able to save the relationship.

Here are some basic tips for men that will help you establish contact with your beloved and significantly improve family ties without any visible effort:

take time for your loved one. Undoubtedly, work is exhausting, and when you come home you want only one thing - to rest, so that no one will bother you. But if you spend a few minutes with your spouse - ask how she is doing, what new happened during the day - it will take a little time, but it will restore contact and soften the heart of your beloved;
be more to her than a passport spouse. In order for a married woman to be as attached to her husband as possible - become her friend, father, lover - in general, she should receive all types of male help from you. If you can listen to her, give practical advice, nail a shelf, give affection and tenderness, she will not want to look for another gentleman on the side;
quarrel. A family in which all claims are hushed up and swallowed by the parties will not live long. It is impossible to accumulate grievances without exploding one fine day. Therefore, all psychologists unanimously say: there is a problem - it needs to be solved. Speak out your grievances, try to find a solution through joint efforts. And remember that you also need to be able to quarrel. Ugly shouts, insults and obscene language will not lead to a solution to the issue;
talk openly about the intimate side of life. Many couples are embarrassed to discuss their sexual problems with each other and what they like in bed. General dissatisfaction has a negative impact on relationships. Against this background, it seems quite strange that cheating with a stranger seems to many people to be a normal way out of the situation. Despite the fact that there were no attempts to talk to my other half. In practice, couples who dared to discuss intimate life discovered their partner in a new way, breathed bright colors into the relationship;
Respect is the basis of relationships. Remember this, try to pay maximum attention to respect. If a person does not respect his loved one, then the marriage is doomed to failure. Listen to your wife, tell her that you expect the same from her;
Do not plunge into the abyss of everyday problems. An established lifestyle sucks you in and deprives you of any desire to embark on adventures - that’s the problem. This reason leads, according to statistics, to a lot of divorces. Arranging a small surprise just like that is not difficult, but it’s so nice. Such moments are remembered best and improve the atmosphere between spouses;
Don't be overly jealous. Unfounded suspicions, constant nagging and total control are not helpful for healthy family relationships. The woman will get tired of receiving accusations of non-existent treason, and will actually commit it.

Note! Female infidelity is an action that is preceded by a long preparatory period. Women’s move to the “left” is not made out of fleeting emotions; it is realized after a thorough analysis of the situation and many hours of painful thoughts.

Lack of attention from husband

The answer to the question of why wives begin to cheat on their husbands can be found in the depths of female psychology. One of the reasons for unsuccessful marriages may be cooling in the relationship between the spouses. This often happens when over time they get tired of each other and begin to move away. When a husband does not pay enough attention to his wife, she feels abandoned, unhappy and unloved.

Loss of mutual interest, reluctance to give in, or find a compromise - these are not all the possible options for the deterioration of relations in a couple. Over time, in such a family the situation may become tense, the spouses will quarrel and conflict over various trifles. Eventually, the husband becomes so distant from his wife that he simply stops noticing her. He does not pay attention to her, spends more and more time with friends, prefers to work on his car or play computer games. Unfortunately, a man simply ceases to be interested in his wife as a woman. It’s understandable why wives cheat in such an environment.

Why do wives like to cheat?

Much has been said about the causes of infidelity, the components and differences in approaches to infidelity between men and women. It is worth noting that all ladies can be divided into two large categories:

those who cheated once by accident and are tormented by it;
those who see treason as everyday life and constantly have lovers.

Why do women love to cheat so much? The answer here is the same as to all questions about betrayal. For a woman, the most important thing is the emotional component of life. If a lady does not experience bright emotions - love, desire, passion, interest, then life loses color.

One key difference emerges here. There are women who receive all these feelings without violating personal boundaries. But there is also a category that is not capable of diversifying life without going to lovers. Every day their need for variety is increasing.

Constant absence of husband

Sometimes it happens that a woman seems to take care of herself and looks quite attractive, and her man loves her and idolizes her. But even in such families, not everything always goes smoothly. So why do wives cheat on their husbands, what is the reason for this behavior? In this case, a woman may lack the attention of her beloved husband due to the fact that he is constantly absent from home. He tries to provide for his family, earns a living and is often forced to go on business trips, attend business negotiations, or simply stay late at work. The woman understands that this is necessary and appreciates her caring husband, but she still feels lonely.

At such moments, another man may appear in a woman’s life, one who can be nearby, who will be able to give what she lacks: warmth, care and love. Cheating occurs because this other man is nearby and with him the woman feels needed by someone.

Why does the wife want to cheat?

Among women there are also many who commit adultery not only because of feelings or cooled family relationships. Among the fairer sex there are ladies who are ready for infidelity, for the sake of:

careers. There are many examples when a big boss gets girls who are ready to do anything for a promotion as his mistresses;
wealth. The desire of beauties of the 21st century to live on a grand scale is not always realized in reality. The average man cannot provide a monthly flight abroad, vacation at resorts, shopping and other delights of life. When a rich lover is an all-time classic;
simply because she likes to feel the adrenaline and change men. Such women also exist. At the same time, she feels comfortable living with her husband, who belongs to the spineless class.

Sexual dissatisfaction

Often the reason for a woman’s infidelity lies in her husband’s inability to satisfy her sexually. However, the reasons for this may be due to other factors. For example, certain living conditions do not allow spouses to be alone when they want. Also, a similar problem can arise in a large family. In the end, a woman may decide to cheat in order to diversify her sex life and fulfill unrealized sexual fantasies. It’s banal, but this happens too.

What's the point of looking for someone to blame in such cases? It is more correct to think not about why wives cheat, but about how to prevent it. If a married couple has any difficulties sexually, then they need to look for ways to solve them, because cheating will not solve these problems, but will only aggravate them and add new ones.

Consequences of female infidelity in marriage

All people know that cheating is bad. Few people are prepared for such a development of events. But you can never promise. A difficult relationship with your husband, a business trip, at a meeting with classmates or on vacation alone at a resort - there are a lot of options, but the result is the same. A woman is left alone with betrayal and does not know what will happen next or how to deal with it.

Let's consider the consequences of female infidelity from the point of view of two sides - the state of a woman and a man.

What are the consequences of infidelity for a woman?

It doesn’t matter for what reasons this happened, after cheating there are many questions left: should I tell my husband or not? How to behave and what to do next? What should I say if he asks? Psychologists agree that it is under no circumstances worth talking about this, especially if the betrayal happened once, in other words, “by accident.”

You are not interested in continuing a relationship with someone else’s man, you don’t want this experience anymore, then you can’t tell your husband unequivocally. This will hurt his feelings and will lead to a change in the relationship between the spouses.

The husband will most likely show uncontrollable jealousy and constant suspicion. This is how everything will happen - he will torment you with questions - how it all happened, with whom and most importantly who is better, he will begin to constantly control you, find fault with little things.

The unfaithful woman herself does not feel happy. On the contrary, she begins to suffer and suffer. She is overcome by a whole range of emotions - shame, remorse, fear of being discovered. After the moment of betrayal, a woman begins to think about how and what to talk about, she introduces total control into her life. This exhausts her psychologically, emotionally and can lead to depression, neuroses, and nervous breakdowns.

For most women, cheating is an action that radically changes their life. But in order not to torment yourself with needless torment, it is better to carry out mental work on mistakes.

Think about why this happened? What emotions led to such an unpleasant act? What was the last straw? By reasoning logically, without unnecessary emotions, you can get to the bottom of the truth and try to solve the problem found in a loyal way.

To understand the accompanying emotions in more detail, let’s consider them using the example of the most common reasons for infidelity:

new impressions. Everyday life becomes boring over time, as do relationships between spouses, including sexual ones. There is no longer that ardor, passion, hot sighs as between the young. The spouse has already been studied inside and out. If the betrayal occurred from the desire to receive new emotions, then women are subsequently very disappointed. Taking into account the fact that all the intricacies of physical contact have already been studied with a loved one, a woman often experiences satisfaction in marriage with a familiar partner. This may not happen to a lover. And in general, does a woman have confidence that after several years of life the same thing will not happen to her lover? In general, some disorders;
male impotence. This problem is one of the most serious. Sexual impotence under stress is increasingly common in young men aged 30. Marriage, no matter how strong, must include sexual relations. What if the man you love next to you doesn’t want or can’t carry out such actions? Cheating with another will also not bring relief to a woman’s soul. If the relationship with your husband is good, then betrayal will cause a feeling of shame and self-deprecation about deceiving a good person. Is it worth changing - definitely not. It’s worth running to the doctor with your husband and trying in every way to solve the problem;
curiosity. No matter how strange it may sound, but interest in the unknown pushes women into bed with unfamiliar men. Frankly speaking, a woman can get real pleasure in combination with an emotional component. If you cheat just like that, then the woman will not receive any pleasure, much less happiness. In return, there will be remorse, a silent question - what was all this for?
revenge. Your husband cheated, and you decided to repay him in kind? Let's say right away that the path is fundamentally wrong. Afterwards, the woman will feel like a traitor, a deceiver in front of her husband. Will this analogy be pleasant? Not many will be happy with such prospects. If you want to take revenge, please, but outside of marriage. Otherwise, a woman’s action will be no different from her partner’s action.

What are the consequences of infidelity for a man?

If a man finds out about his wife’s infidelity, this deals a blow to his pride. A man’s self-esteem drops, jealousy and a decadent attitude develop. The very fact of betrayal tells a man that his companion does not respect his partner. Even if outwardly he is ready to forgive his wife and give her another chance, internally he will continue to be indignant, constantly remembering the betrayal.

As a result of dissonance, psychological disorders arise, aggression, inferiority complexes appear, and even sexual inability occurs. Such manifestations can be explained simply. By forgiving the betrayal, a man signs his insolvency. Because in the aspect of infidelity, a man pays attention only to physical contact. What is a fact of insufficient masculine strength if a girl chooses another man. He doesn’t pay attention to the romantic component at all.

Every man is an owner and perceives his wife (companion, girlfriend) as a trophy that was won in a fair fight. Therefore, the woman who cheated is no longer his prey, and this is insulting. The very attitude towards the traitor is expressed in complete contempt. Treason is nothing more than betrayal. If even in a relationship the wife could not resist, then how can we continue to hope for such a person?

What is cheating for a woman?

Female infidelity rarely occurs spontaneously. Most often, ladies decide to do this only after they have carefully thought and weighed everything. At the same time, we can say that cheating on her husband for a representative of the fairer sex is in some sense a desperate step. Usually, only when family well-being is not visible and there is no faith in a happy marriage, a woman is able to decide to cheat. This is why wives cheat, because sometimes this scenario seems to be the only way out of the current situation for a woman.

And if a man who has acted in the same way can return home to his family as if nothing had happened, then for a woman, as a rule, there is no turning back. From the moment of betrayal, she is seized by new feelings, and there may no longer be room in her heart for her once beloved husband. The world she is used to is collapsing, everything becomes different, different – for real.

Should we forgive a woman's infidelity?

This question arises among men who love their wife, but are tormented by the fact of betrayal. It is difficult to find a single answer for every situation. But let's consider it from the point of view of the psychological state of a man.

The husband is confused, embittered, depressed. If the infidelity is forgotten and the family tries to return to their usual way of life, it is unlikely that everything will be the same as before. Forgiveness for betrayal is difficult to achieve. In most cases, a man who has forgiven his wife becomes weak and pliable in the woman’s eyes. Such men are not respected, they wipe their feet on them and continue to cheat on them.

Thus, to the question of whether it is worth forgiving, the answer is unequivocal - it is impossible. Why to preserve your inner peace and dignity.

Is it the woman's fault?

Many women, when they get married, forget about their belonging to the fair half of humanity. Previously, they tried to be beautiful and charming, but now, when the marriage has already taken place, they turn into nondescript housewives, and their outfits are aprons and dressing gowns. However, there is nothing wrong with this, especially since family life requires its sacrifices, but nevertheless, a man may be little attracted to the curlers on the head of his chosen one. As a result, a woman becomes less desirable to her man, which leads to many disagreements that occur in married couples.

In fact, all of the above, rather, may be the reason for male betrayal or even leaving the family. But if you are looking for an answer to the question of why wives cheat on their husbands, these factors should also be considered. The prerequisites for such female behavior lie precisely in the lack of attention of husbands to their other halves.

Why do you dream that your wife is cheating?

Dreams are a mysterious thing. Sometimes a man may dream that his wife is cheating. He is ready to transfer this situation to real life. But here's the problem. Dreams are a reflection of our hidden thoughts and experiences. Therefore, if in a dream you witnessed infidelity, most likely it’s all about increased jealousy and suspicion.

Analyze how worried you are about the possible fact of betrayal. Are there any prerequisites for this or do you only have your own speculation? If a man has such a dream and it is disturbing, pay attention to your wife, try to devote more time to her. This way you will find out about the absence or presence of infidelity, strengthen the relationship so that infidelity does not occur.

The topic of female infidelity is vast. It is difficult to draw one line under all situations. Each family has its own rules and characteristics, so not a single story of infidelity is like the others. But in this whole story there are important points that are worth summarizing:

Treason is a voluntary action. Despite the reasons that could lead to the commission of the act, the final decision is still made by the person himself. That's why you shouldn't blame circumstances. There is another way out of any situation;
men and women see betrayal differently. If for a man it is more important that a woman physically belonged to another, then for the fair half feelings come first;
to admit infidelity or not is a rhetorical question. You can’t give unambiguous advice without knowing the people and the details. But the old rule still applies: “the less you know, the better you sleep”;
What should spouses do after cheating? Should I forgive my wife or not? A question that haunts deceived husbands. If you decide to forgive and restore family relationships, the topic of betrayal should be forgotten once and for all. You cannot reproach her and, in the heat of a quarrel, try to inject your spouse more painfully with this information.

Attitudes towards infidelity are formed not only through public opinion. One’s own point of view is developed over the years, wisdom and understanding come. Therefore, the older people are, the easier it is to forgive betrayal. But it’s still better to avoid such a situation and try to correct it even at the moment the first alarm bells appear.

We also recommend reading - Why married men have mistresses: the psychology of a married man

How to forgive your wife for cheating - Advice from a psychologist

The path to reconciliation after betrayal, as in many other family quarrels, lies through the ability to talk and hear your interlocutor. Therefore, it is very important to respect your other half, not interrupt, and begin negotiations only after the first emotions have cooled down.

Very often, in order to establish a dialogue between a couple, a psychologist is needed. After all, no matter how terrible it is, for many couples it is very difficult to discuss their problems constructively. In this case, the help of a psychologist is needed so that everyone can speak out without interrupting their partner.

And then there is a discussion: identifying the reasons for the betrayal and finding compromises. Should you forgive your wife's infidelity? The advice of a psychologist in this case may be unnecessary. Since the reason for betrayal can be quite deep, even after a serious conversation, the couple’s family life will change significantly. Both must be prepared for this. How to forgive betrayal? The difficulty lies in restoring trust in a partner; action is required on both sides. For example, spouses agree to pay more attention to each other or make attempts to diversify their family and sexual life: to bring into them the former romance and passion.

How to forgive your wife for cheating - advice from a psychologist

How to avoid female infidelity4

From a psychological point of view, a woman is looking for a reliable shoulder, understanding and care in her man. She wants the romantic relationship with which it all began to be partially preserved in the subsequent years of their life together.

It is very important for ladies that a man does not forget about the birthdays of loved ones, wedding day, dating day and March 8th. It is not necessary to give expensive gifts; you can make a small pleasant surprise. This is much better than leaving your spouse without attention.

You can’t put all the housework and caring for children on women’s shoulders. A man should show attention and participation in these issues regularly. If a woman works, then all household responsibilities should be divided in half. A woman at least sometimes needs praise and approval from a man, because it gives her self-confidence and serves as inspiration.

Don't forget about the intimate side of your life. If the husband does not neglect caresses and various ways to bring his wife to orgasm, she is satisfied with her sex life. The woman begins to experience a great sense of affection for her husband. In this case, there can be no talk of any lovers on the side.

If for some reason cheating does occur, the spouses must decide what to do next. Many couples cannot find a way out of this situation on their own. You need to put aside your embarrassment and turn to psychologists with this problem. They will help you make a choice - forgive the woman and save the family, or let her go and calmly separate.