Many girls and women in love, trying to understand the feelings of their chosen one towards themselves, ask themselves the question - how to understand that a man is jealous ? After all, it is very important for them to know that they are dear and desirable, and jealousy in this case serves as a sign that the guy is madly and selflessly in love. In fact, everything is a little different, as perhaps we would like. When a guy shows sympathy for his passion, jealousy can easily be explained by his feelings for her. But sometimes this feeling is difficult to detect, and then resentment arises in the soul. From here we conclude that it is important to know whether a guy is jealous or not. And in this review we will try to understand in what situations this feeling arises, and to be more precise, what are its signs and causes.
What is a man's jealousy?
Jealousy is a painful fear of losing a loved one and a cherished feeling of closeness. Arises due to a heightened sense of personal inadequacy.
Men who are most jealous are:
- nervous disorders;
- mental illness;
- alcoholism;
- impotence.
Persons with such difficulties do not know how, or gradually lose the ability to control themselves. This ends in outbreaks of jealousy, scandals, violence and, in some cases, serious tragedies.
To prevent an unpleasant outcome from a beautiful romantic story, you should pay attention to alarm bells in advance.
The need to maintain relationships
Many girls naively believe that they are able to change their husbands. Practice, unfortunately, shows that the opposite is more often the case. A man will not change unless he wants to, so there is no need to go down the aisle with a person you have doubts about.
It is important to feel the line beyond which jealousy disrupts the harmony in a couple. If you have strong feelings and common children, you can try to reboot the relationship, but if nothing binds the spouses except a stamp in the passport, and jealousy has already devastated both, it is better to end the painful relationship.
Causes of male jealousy
Main reasons for jealousy:
- Low self-esteem. A man may look very calm, patient, or, on the contrary, act arrogant and arrogant. No pattern of behavior is evidence of the absence of insecurity and other underlying problems associated with self-esteem. Any guy is easier to hurt than a girl.
- High expectations. A guy with unrealistic ideas about life may believe that a girl should avoid social contact and hide her body under ten layers of fabric even in forty-degree heat. If a woman cannot convey progressive thoughts to a man on her own, she should take him to a psychologist.
- The girl's reckless behavior. Some ladies consider it acceptable to wear overly revealing outfits “for themselves” and frivolously flirt with others. It is worth looking at your morals and behavior from the outside, discussing them with uninterested people.
- Gossip. A man must trust his woman first of all, but other people's chatter hurts feelings and disturbs the imagination. Perhaps evil tongues said unpleasant things to him. Try to understand the situation and explain to the guy why gossipers spread stupid rumors. Most likely, your ill-wishers are offended by you.
What not to do?
It is unacceptable to deliberately make a spouse jealous in order to refresh feelings. You must be lenient and patient with your loved one. In a fit of jealousy, a man can turn into an angry lion. Under no circumstances is it advisable to compare your spouse to other men. Drawing a parallel between the positive qualities, decisive and skillful actions of your friend's husband and the less attractive traits of your spouse will cause suspicion and anger of your chosen one.
There is no need to praise a co-worker who helped you solve a difficult problem at work. A jealous spouse will immediately think that you are connected by more than just a business relationship.
Telling a jealous person about your former relationship is strictly prohibited. His male pride will be hurt. It is best to introduce your husband to former classmates and friends in person; it is not recommended to spend time with them in the absence of your significant other.
Flirting with other men in the presence of your husband is excluded; you need to control your behavior and not stare at other representatives of the stronger sex. You should not wear miniskirts or clothes with a low neckline to an event where your significant other will not be present.
How to understand that a guy is jealous: 5 main signs
How to notice the first alarm bells hinting at the emergence of jealousy:
- The man is dissatisfied with the girl’s desire to look good. He begins to grumble when you take care of yourself, dress nicely and smile happily.
- A man reacts angrily when he cannot find a girl quickly. Leaves dozens of missed calls and messages on your phone.
- The guy shows up at events and parties as an uninvited guest, without warning.
- The jealous man suddenly finds reasons for inappropriate criticism of the girl's friends. The men she knows get the most.
- The guy begins to behave passive-aggressively.
Signs of hidden jealousy in men
A secretly jealous man behaves passive-aggressively.
What it looks like:
- withdraws into himself;
- does not notice questions or openly ignores them;
- makes caustic remarks on strange and unexpected occasions;
- expresses displeasure at any positive changes that happen to you;
- tries to give unsolicited gifts, help with housework and any tasks, even if he doesn’t understand or know anything about them;
- begins to randomly criticize your mutual friends, regardless of their gender;
- calls for a walk, knowing in advance that there are other plans;
- often tries to start a strange conversation, but is unable to develop it;
- gets irritated for no apparent reason and does not want to explain the behavior.
Scorpio, Sagittarius
Scorpio is by nature very hot-tempered and arrogant. He prefers to draw energy from negative situations. Therefore, for him, cheating on his partner will become a kind of pleasure. Torturing yourself and your partner is Scorpio’s favorite pastime, the main thing is to find a reason for this.
A Sagittarius man, as a rule, becomes very attached to his partner, and even if she commits such an act as betrayal, he is inclined to forgive his beloved rather than break off relations with her.
Physiological signs of jealousy
An attack of jealousy is easy to notice by external signs, since a shock dose of adrenaline is released into a person’s blood. What it looks like:
- The guy's pupils dilate.
- The blood that hits the face quickly disperses, the man turns pale.
- Heart rate increases. The jealous person begins to choke a little, which makes it difficult for him to speak.
- Sweating increases. The fluid is most actively secreted on the head, palms, as well as in the genital area and armpits.
- Limbs tremble involuntarily. If you give a man a glass of water, some of it will definitely spill due to strong tremors. Muscle spasms lead to the fact that it is difficult for a person to move, he becomes numb. He moves jerkily and cannot perform actions smoothly.
- My throat is dry. As a result, the timbre of the voice changes greatly. It becomes dry and hoarse, beginning to resemble a hoarse growl.
How is a feeling born and what does it consist of?
The term jealousy in psychology is understood as a negatively colored sensory-emotional state that manifests itself in a person when he does not receive the expected attention, love, respect, sympathy from a significant person, these manifestations - attention, love, respect and sympathy - are received by a third person. The phenomenon in its emotional and psychological content is one of the most unpleasant experiences. It is inherent in all people with emotional connections - friendship, affection, sympathy and love.
The state in question serves as a complex sensory structure that includes primary feelings. These include:
- fear;
- anger and rage;
- shame;
- embarrassment;
- guilt;
- envy and greed;
- resentment and vindictiveness;
- deceit;
- suspicion and suspiciousness;
- arrogance, vanity and selfishness;
- pride and humiliation.
The structure of jealousy can have various forms of expression. It all depends on the characteristics of the person, the causes and sources of the phenomenon.
Gender difference
While recognizing the general nature of jealousy, one cannot ignore the differences that exist between men and women. Guys and girls get jealous in different ways. This specificity is due to physiological, emotional and mental differences, as well as social orders. All these factors have a significant impact on the behavioral strategies of representatives of different sexes.
What factors affect the specifics of male jealousy:
- features of thinking;
- exclusivity of emotional and psychological processes;
- education, historical traditions;
- generally accepted social roles in society;
- physiological superiority (a man is stronger than a woman).
The uniqueness of disturbing conditions in guys is due to the complex influence of the above factors. Male jealousy is also distinguished by key essential factors - motivation, source of origin, character, etc.
Types of condition
Jealousy inherent in men can be divided into four main types.
- Competitive, stereotypical. This condition is caused by the presence of a rival when building a relationship with a girl.
- Projected, mirrored, reversed. The man has a desire to “go outside.” He projects the peculiarities of his thinking onto another person - his beloved girl. In his mind, other desire strategies are unacceptable.
- Vaccinated, jealousy due to injury.
- Delusional, paranoid delusions of jealousy. This condition refers to a type of mental disorder, most often developed against the background of alcoholism.
If jealousy is a pathology
Wives of pathological jealous people often walk around with bruises and bruises.
Leave quickly if your betrothed behaves inappropriately:
- does not know how to control temperament, is characterized by intemperance and a tendency to hysterics out of nowhere;
- cannot come to terms with the fact that you have male friends, tries to control your social circle;
- tries to get involved in all areas of life, constantly strives to shamelessly express disapproval of activities and things that he does not understand.
You treat his claims to control kindly or mockingly, but curses are spinning in his head, the fire of offended dignity is blazing, his hands are clenching into fists of their own accord. There is no need to take the situation to an extreme. It is better to break up with inappropriate people as soon as possible.
How to test a man for jealousy
There are gentle ways to test a guy for jealousy:
- Change your appearance, clothing style, behavior. Not to choose a different shade of brown hair, but to truly transform yourself completely. Changes must be dramatic and unexpected.
- Take up a hobby and do it out of his sight. Creative and educational courses, clubs, visits to the gym, swimming pool, and dancing are suitable. Start regularly going with your friends to karaoke, billiards or bowling.
- Do not pick up immediately after the first ring. Reserve the right to be late when returning from work.
You should not flirt openly with strangers, invent strange situations and send yourself flowers. This will harm the relationship and will not bring any visible benefit.
What to do if a guy is very jealous?
Jealousy can be groundless. In this case, the guy is not to blame for the feeling that arises - only in the ways of expressing it. However, there is no point in putting up with other people's psychological problems.
Deal with the situation constructively:
- Tell the jealous man honestly about what you did. Reassure him and refute unfair accusations.
- If frankness doesn't help, go to a psychologist together or sign your guy up for individual therapy sessions. It is harmful for people to stew in their own juice of suspicion and resentment.
- If a man resolutely refuses help and continues to express jealousy in destructive ways, it is better to break up. There is no need to be responsible for someone else's inadequacy.
Before you get too desperate, try:
- Praise the guy. He may not fully understand that you truly love and appreciate him.
- Carefully “mirror” patterns of jealous behavior so that a man has a better idea of what he looks like from the outside.
- Introduce him to “dangerous” friends and colleagues. Let him see for himself that there is no competition.
- Create “special” rituals that will calm your loved one.
Capricorn, Aquarius
It is difficult for Capricorns to experience such a feeling as love in principle. Representatives of this sign are selfish and do not want to waste their energy on such nonsense as jealousy.
An Aquarius man rarely experiences jealousy only because before starting a relationship, they carefully check the chosen one for compliance with some of their principles.
Pisces are very vulnerable and sensitive natures. They tend to dramatize events, which often leads to unreasonable jealousy. Pisces men constantly need proof that they are loved and faithful.
